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'I was raped every day to get pregnant after being forced to marry man twice my age' - The Mirror


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Daily Mirror

'I was raped every day to get pregnant after being forced to marry man twice my age'

WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT Rubie was just 15 when she was taken from her home and forced to marry a man in his 30s

For most brides, their wedding day represents the happiest moment of their lives, but for 15 year old Rubbie, it became her worst nightmare as she faced marrying a man twice her age.

After being raised in Wales, Rubie was taken to Bangladesh by her family, who were determined to find her a husband.

The nation's legislation permits under-18s to wed with paternal consent, and Rubie's father was desperate to see her married.

Now wed to a man decades her senior, Rubie endured a horrific existence as she suffered daily rape from her husband and became pregnant within a year, aged just 16.

Speaking about her tragic ordeal, she said no girl should endure what she experienced, reports the Express.

"I spent years of my life desperately trying to numb myself from the pain of my reality," she told Fabulous.

Yet for Rubie, her early years seemed perfectly ordinary, growing up by the coast with her family and six siblings.

Now 42, she remembers the moment everything shifted for her, when she and her sister both reached puberty.

Her family had always been devout and she felt they kept her quite protected as a child, with numerous restrictions imposed - particularly regarding relationships. Rubie and her sister were forbidden from speaking to boys or wearing anything their parents deemed "revealing" or "figure hugging".

At 15, Rubie and her 18-year-old sister had secret boyfriends, but when their parents disapproved, her older sister was able to move out.

After her sister tarnished the family's 'honour', Rubie noticed a change in the men in her family. Unbeknownst to her, they were planning her future.

During a supposed family holiday to her parents' homeland, her family schemed to marry her off to a man in his 30s. She recalled: "My mum beckoned me over and pointed to a strange man. She told me that was the man I was going to marry.

"I just remember the look of pain and sadness on her face. At that moment he looked pretty young. I assumed he was a similar age to me. It wasn't until I saw our marriage certificate when I turned 16 the following January that I realised he was in his 30s. I was in disbelief and denial - I was just totally numb."

In the run-up to the wedding, she felt as if her mind and body were completely "disconnected" from reality. This feeling persisted into her forced marriage, where it was expected of her to "give him her body" without consent.

She said: "A couple of days after was when the rape started, and it was just continuous after that."

Before long Rubie became pregnant, and at nine weeks her family decided it was time to bring her back home to Wales, abandoning her husband in India.

Confronted with the harsh reality of her circumstances, Rubie felt utterly powerless and attempted to take her own life with an overdose.

The following day during her first scan when she heard her baby's heartbeat, she resolved to "carry on living for this baby."

Following the premature birth of her daughter in October, arrangements were made for Rubie's husband to join her in the UK.

She tried to flee with her child but her family soon tracked her down, dragging her back home to Wales.


It wasn't until 2000, when Rubie spotted a school friend walking past the house, that she made a courageous choice after being absent from school for so long without anyone questioning it.

The desperate teenager rushed outside and "begged" her to help.

She said: "I explained what had happened to me, and she took me to her parents' house, and they helped me contact the police. Because there was so little education on honour-based abuse, they didn't arrive till the following morning.


"They escorted me to the house, and I left with my daughter and a Tesco bag of clothes and took a train back to the Midlands."

Despite her hopes for a happy ending, she found herself in another abusive relationship, admitting that she was "used to being mistreated".

In 2002, they had a child together. It wasn't until five years later that she finally managed to escape the abusive relationship, which resulted in her obtaining a restraining order.

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Speaking to Fabulous, Rubie said: "I went right back to what the eight-year-old me had wanted to do and achieve before any of this had happened. I had wanted to see the world, and so that's what I did."

Now, after enduring years of trauma, she dedicates her time and energy towards building a happy and healthy life for herself and others. Rubie is now an ambassador for the Sundial Centre, where she works to educate others about forced marriage and honour-based abuse.

She said: "I need other survivors to realise that there is hope and help out there, you just have to reach out for it."

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