EXCLUSIVE: 'My boyfriend almost beat me to death but I was so under his control it took me years to break free'
While Emmerdale's Belle Dingle saw her abuser jailed, for Esther Garrity who was beaten so badly she had an imprint of her boyfriend's boot on her face, it was the only the beginning of her nightmare
Lying in her hospital bed, Esther Garrity was unrecognisable from the bubbly, pretty young woman she should have been. Beaten so badly she had an imprint of a Doc Marten boot left on her face, Esther’s distraught mother could only tell it was her daughter from her eyebrows.
She sustained multiple blows, knocking her teeth out and leaving her with brain injuries that put her in a coma for weeks and having to learn to walk, talk and eat again.And it was all inflicted by the man Esther thought she loved.
“I do not know what I remember or whether it’s what people have told me” says Esther, who has been left with severe memory issues. “But I know the extent of what he inflicted. Sam stamped on my face 17 times. I lost eight teeth, my nose, both cheekbones and jaw were shattered and I’ve got a brain injury that will stay with me forever.”
Astonishingly, despite her horrific injuries, Esther rekindled her relationship with Sam Farley then 21, even as he served a 12-and-a-half year sentence for GBH with intent for the attack on her.
READ MORE: Emmerdale's Joe Tate star sparks rumours he’s secretly split with girlfriend of three yearsAs ITV soap Emmerdale has depicted in a storyline over the past year, the insidious impact of coercive control can leave victims unwilling to leave their abuser.
Tom King played by James Chase has inflicted mental and physical violence against his wife Belle played by Eden Taylor Draper, for months before she took action.
Viewers were left in tears as brave Belle finally saw justice - with Tom sentenced to three years in jail for his abuse and coercive control.
The storyline coincides with a significant breakthrough in our Mirror Justice for Our Daughters campaign - advocating anyone guilty of domestic violence receives the punishment they deserve.
This month the Ministry of Justice has announced that judges will now have the option to consider stronger sentences for murders when the killing is connected to the end of a relationship.
Ministers have also instructed the Law Commission to review sentences for homicide to end the anomaly whereby someone who kills someone with a weapon in the home gets a shorter mandatory sentence than the same crime outside of a domestic setting.
After being a victim of his physical abuse, Esther,26 claims she became a victim of his coercive control - like Emmerdale's Belle - in agreeing to stay with the violent partner.
She says he even persuaded her to stop the rehabilitation which was trying to piece her shattered body and brain back together.
Crimes of violence against women of which Esther is one - has increased by almost 40 per cent between 2018 and 2023.
Last year alone, there were 1 million violent crimes against females in England and Wales.
Victoria, is backing our Justice For Our Daughters campaign, and although she feels that justice wasn't fully served to her daughter Esther,she is hoping for a meeting with government ministers in the new year to ensure there are positive changes in the fight against domestic violence.
Victoria has handed in a letter to her local MP Andy McDonald’s office demanding 12 key changes - expanding on the four The Mirror asked for in our Justice For Our Daughters campaign.
These include: No automatic release for perpetrators of domestic abuse. Tag all perpetrators during any remaining sentence served in the community and for one year after, No contact with victims allowed while they are in prison.
Victoria’s letter has been passed on to Jess Phillips Parliamentary Under-Secretary of State for Safeguarding and Violence Against Women and Girls.
“I am hoping to sit down and talk to Jess It’s disgusting how women and girls should have to live in a constant state of fear about what a man may do them. My Esther has been so brave and strong but she should never have had to go through what she did. It will live with her for the rest of her life.”
Esther says: “I eventually realised he could not possibly love me as he would never have done that. He used his power over me to make me believe I had recovered. I may have survived but he took away the person I was.”
Their relationship had started seven months before the attack and at first then-18-year-old Esther thought everything was perfect. Sam would visit her in Manchester where she was at university or she would go back to their hometown of Middlesbrough.
Esther, 25 says: “I missed him when we weren’t together, but we spoke on the phone all the time. He was very sweet and caring. But I could also see his controlling nature - telling me when he had decided it was time for me to go home. There were also jealous rages if I was speaking to other men. I just thought it showed how much he loved me.”
Then, in April 2017, came the night which changed Esther’s life forever. The couple were out at a bar with mutual friends when Sam walked out and Esther followed.
She says: “I had been talking to some male friends and was worried this had upset him so I followed him.” When she caught up with him, he launched a vicious assault.
Esther was rushed to James Cook University Hospital in Middlesbrough where she was treated for fractured nose, cheek and jaw and traumatic brain injury and brain swelling.
For her mother, Victoria, 51, the horrific vision of her unconscious daughter in hospital will always stay with her. Victoria says: “I was only able to recognise her by her eyebrows. Her head was swollen to three or four times its normal size. She had cuts all over her face, including one down her nose that went through to the bone. Her eyes were swollen to the size of cricket balls and hair matted with blood. I screamed when I saw her.”
Fashion student Esther had no recollection of the attack and Victoria had the heartbreaking task of telling her the person she loved and who she thought loved her was behind it.
“I sat her by her bedside begging her not to die,” Victoria remembers. “Doctors said there was every chance that Esther may never wake up.” Miraculously, three weeks later, she did and spent the next four months in hospital, learning to walk, speak, eat and do even the simplest of tasks, such as making a cup of tea.
In November 2017, Samuel Farley appeared at Teesside Crown Court and pleaded guilty to causing grievous bodily harm with intent, having been cleared of a separate attempted murder charge. He had taken LSD, cocaine and ketamine that night and his defence had argued that the cocktail of drugs had caused the assault that left his girlfriend fighting for her life on the side of the road.
The judge sentenced him to 12 and half years behind bars. Within weeks, Sam made contact with Esther and convinced her to take him back: “He said it was the drugs that made him do it - that it wasn’t his fault.”
Esther’s friends and family were horrified when she began visiting him in prison but were helpless because, while the brain injury had left Esther vulnerable she had been cleared by doctors as having full capacity.
Victoria recalls: “I was disgusted and furious that he was able to contact her and try to keep her in the relationship.”
Esther's life began to revolve around speaking to and visiting Sam. "He would tell me if it wasn’t for me visiting him in prison, he would kill himself, so I felt guilty if I didn’t go to see him,” she says.
She claims that due to Sam’s coercive control, she stopped the vital rehabilitation treatment she needed.
In one letter he sent shortly after his imprisonment, he wrote: “I heard some brilliant news recently that your MRI scan shows no signs of permanent damage. I feel so much better knowing that everything is heading in the right direction for you to make a full recovery.”
“That was simply not true It was pure gaslighting” Esther says." In other cards and letters to Esther - as seen by the Mirror - he says he was sorry for not being around. But he never acknowledges what he did to her.
Esther says: “When I would say I was struggling with my brain injury, he would reply; “Do you really think a brain injury, that injury that you got this many years ago, is still going to affect you?”
The relationship continued for over four years following the attack. In August 2021, Esther went to get her nails done, and the beautician recognised her.
“The girl went on about how awful it must have been for me - all my injuries and how sad that she was that I had to go through that,” Esther says.
“It was the first time I’d really thought about it from an outside perspective –and realised she was right. There was no justification for what he did. Drugs were not an excuse, nothing was an excuse.”
That day brave Esther found the strength to end her relationship, writing to Sam- who was later released after serving five years - to say she would never see him again.
“I saw our relationship for what it was,” she says. “ He love-bombed me and manipulated me, and he had me under his spell.”
Since that day, Esther has been helped by domestic violence groups, including Women’s Aid, where she received therapy to cope with her experience.
She also decided to go public with her story in new UKTV series Red Flag.
Esther managed to get her degree and knows things could have turned out very differently. Esther says:“It scares me to think about what would have happened - if I hadn’t broken free from under his control when he was released.”
She adds: “I cry for the lost years of my life - the time I was with him up until the attack - and the four years I stayed with him while he was in prison."
Esther now works as a personal trainer and has enrolled in teacher training college.
She also wants to now focus on fellow victims now, saying, “It’s really important for me to share my story because that’s four years of my life that I’ve lost to this relationship. If I can help even one person who was in a similar situation, then that’s enough for me. ”
Mother Victoria adds: “Sam might not have killed Esther. My little girl may have survived, but she could have so easily been taken from me that night. In many ways, I do feel I could have lost the daughter I had.
"I’m amazed she’s still here after all she has been through. the terrible impact on her mental health after those years of being under his control - and how she’s managed to rebuild her life.”
Coercive control has been a criminal offence since 2015.
Victoria adds: "I think there needs to be more police training to understand what coercive control actually is. And the people watching it happen need to be able to report it and get a response. The control is something that you see more from the outside. When you’re in it, it’s just too big - because there is so much gaslighting. You’re not going to see you’re being controlled until you are out of that situation."
The Mirror approached Sam Farley for comment."
He said: “I have seen the UKTV series. I have my side of things, but I am worried that anything I say might come across as victim-shaming. I want to move on from this now. I am starting a new job with the civil service. I wish Esther all the best.”
Esther’s story is showing on UKTV Play series Red Flag available to stream free now.
If you’ve been affected by Esther’s story, please seek guidance by visiting: womensaid.org.uk