GREAT EXPECTATIONS
Pip is poor. Wants to be posh. Old hag raises expectations that are shattered
when he finds benefactor is a crook. Heart broken by Estella
PRIDE & PREJUDICE
Woman meets a guy called Darcy who seems to be a nob but is actually ok.
She marries him after seeing how nice his house is.
THE LORD OF THE RINGS
Pals take magic ring on quest. Balding schitzophrenic tries to steal ring.
Wizards. Scary eyes. Battles. Ring destroyed.
WAR AND PEACE
Napoleon invades Russia. Russian aristocratic families sent into a tizz. War
ensues. French retreat. Russians celebrate. Lots of them marry
THE GREAT GATSBY
Man has some great parties, and then an affair that doesn't turn out too well.
The parties stop and he gets shot. No one is too bothered.
HARRY POTTER & THE PHILOSOPHERS STONE
Boy turns out to be a wizard and goes to wizard school, but a teacher tries to
kill him. He sorts it, leaving the door open for sequels.
THE HUNGER GAMES
To save her sister, girl volunteers to participate in crazy survival-type game
and becomes an unwilling hero.
THE FAULT IN OUR STARS
Dying girl meets hot boy. Hot boy and dying girl fall in love and go to
Amsterdam together. In a horrible twist of fate, dying girl lives while hot boy
dies
THE DA VINCI CODE
A symbology professor uncovers the secret of an ancient society by solving a
complex treasure hunt with a Parisian cryptographer.
WUTHERING HEIGHTS
Cathy and Heathcliff fall in love. Cathy marries Edgar, but cant forget
Heathcliff. Heathcliff marries Edgars sister Isabella, but cant forget Cathy.
Heathcliff never really gets over the whole thing.
TWILIGHT SAGA
Girl meets strange guy who has control issues and a tendency to sparkle in
the sun. Werewolf-vampire-surly teen love triangle ensues.
ALICE IN WONDERLAND
Girl falls down a hole and sees some crazy stuff, but then finds out it was just
a dream.
THE PICTURE OF DORIAN GREY
A Victorian chap gets a painting that ages instead of him, so he goes on a bit
of a bender. When he's done, he stabs the painting and dies.
FRANKENSTEIN
In an effort to conquer nature, a man makes a new human being out of spare
parts. It doesn't turn out well, and he immediately regrets it.
LORD OF THE FLIES
Shot down and stranded, a group of boys try to play nice... but boys will be
boys. Poor Piggy dies.
MACBETH
Whipped by wife, Scottish dude starts killing spree after getting too stoked
about psychic reading by 3 witches. #beingkingisoverrated
ROMEO AND JULIET
Boy meets girl and chucks previous girlfriend for new love. Boy and girl marry
in secret, but misplaced messages cause confusion. Boy kills himself. Girl
kills herself.
THE TEMPEST
Man and his daughter are stranded on an island. Theres a shipwreck and
people end up wandering about the island, running into fairies, monsters, and
wizards.
TAMING OF THE SHREW
Man romances grumpy older sister so that younger sister can marry.
KING LEAR
Dad disses daughter for not sucking up to him. Later regrets it when her way
evil older sisters do him wrong. He goes #cray, big time.
OTHELLO
Man believes his wife has cheated on him and he kills her. It all comes down
to an incriminating handkerchief.
HAMLET
Murdered ghost dad convinces depressed prince to bust widow mom for
hooking up w/uncle. Everyone dies, including #emogirlfriend.
