Regal Eagles

Success Principles
Hand Book
Compiled From Various Sources By : A K Goel

CONTENTS

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14.

Power of Dreams How to protect your Dreams Power of Action Power of Failing Forward No Goals No Game Time management Procrastination Handling Road Blocks Power of faith Power of Submission Power of Unity Power of Positive Attitude Power of values Self Image

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1.

POWER OF DREAM

A frail man called Gandhi, clad only in loin cloth, became a driving force in India that shook the might of British Empire. A nun started a small order with twelve others that grew into "Missionary of Charity." Mother Teresa and her order has helped more number of people across globe than many put together has done in history of mankind. Starting with a small amount of Rs 10000/- a software engineer Narayan Murthy started Infosys that employs more than 70,000 people today and is a software giant. Two cycle mechanics, Wright brothers, conceived an idea to build a machine that will fly, and invented the airplane, a heavier than air machine that actually flies. Rest is history. With Rs. 15000/-, a 350 sq feet. Room with a telephone, one table and three chairs Dhiru Bhai Ambani started Reliance Commercial Corporation that became the only Indian business to make it in Fortune 500 and to be featured in Forbes 500. A small boy who sold newspaper, to substitute his father's small income as boat builder, Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, became one of the greatest defense scientist and a visionary who became the President of India. M. S. Oberoi started a career as a front desk clerk in a hotel at a salary of Rs. 50/- became the father of hospitality industry in India and built the Oberoi group of hotels, one of the most respected hospitality brands internationally. These are just a few examples of great people. There are numerous super achievers in this world who seemingly never had a chance, but still made it. They have one thing in common - They are Dreamers. All great things in the world start with a dream. The size of your success will depend on the size of your dream. Dream is nothing but an idea conceived in your mind that you get passionate about. Dream is something that makes you feel that "Yes! This is the purpose of my life." Dream gives you the courage, to overcome obstacles. It makes you achieve the impossible. Dream sets you apart from rest of the people. It is your dream that can make you great. There are no great people, Only great Dreams. There are two kinds of people in this world One who have there own dreams Other, who follow other people's dream. Which one is You? It is the human being who has been gifted with the power to dream. We all have that power. As children we have vivid imagination and fantasies. We do not know what is possible and what is not. We just imagine. But as we grow old, we face the harsh realities of life. We come to know about the limitations of our
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circumstances. We start knowing why something is impossible. And what is the first thing we do? We bury our dreams. But the people who make it are the one who refuse to give up their dreams. They understand that their dream is the gift of God, and they cherish it. They are not ignorant of their circumstances but they believe in that if the Dreams are big enough, facts don't count. Fueled with the power of dream, they take risks, face challenges, and rise above their circumstances. They achieve. You can do it too. Just get a dream. If you are ready to get your own dream that will be stronger than steel read on.

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CONGRATULATIONS!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!! You are here means that you are brave enough to get your own dream. No jokes. Most people are too scared to even think about it. So accept my heartiest congratulations before you move ahead. Step 1 : Find the purpose of your life & translate it into your dream We have been put on this earth for a purpose. But at the same time it is left on us to find it out. We can be truly successful if we do something that is in line with that purpose. So it is important to find it. However, It is not easy to find it. Keep on trying different things, make mistakes. You will know what you like and what you dislike. And one day, the realization will come to you. You will know that this is what you always wanted to do. It will seem so right that you will not be able to imagine doing any thing else. You will feel "high" when you do it. And most important, you have found your purpose when it no longer revolves around you. It is not a better job, better house or better car. They are just goals and give you momentary happiness. It will bring you true happiness that comes from contributing to other people's life. We were put on this earth to help others, and that is the greatest gift of all. There are three questions that you need to ask yourself, that will help you to discover your purpose. Think, Think hard. It's your life, and you must think seriously about it. Be honest in answering these questions and there are good chances that by the end, you will have at least some idea about your purpose. Please don't get disheartened if you can not answer them in one go. Take time. It may take a few hours or a few days to find these answers from within you. Just keep on pondering and it will strike you. Who am I? Write down who you think you are as a person. What are your attributes that makes you different than others, such as sharp, intelligent, emotional, sentimental, rebellious etc. Write down the things that you have developed or learned naturally over years, i.e things you have learned without much effort and enjoyed. Such as you are good speaker, writer, make friends easily, ability to love unconditionally etc. The above will give you insight about what you truly are. Most of the things you already know but have been taking for granted, not recognizing the unique gifts they actually are. What do I love to do? There are a number of things that we do in life; most of them are because someone else expects us to do. However, there are a few things that we simply love doing. Given a choice, these are the things that you will do, even if there are no material returns for them. Write them down, even if you are not doing it now. Once you have written down what you will love to do, write down why you want to do them. This may be little difficult to express in words, but with little patience you will be able to do it. Once you are able to answer this 'Why', you are well on your way to find the purpose of your life, as it will revolve round what you want to do. What experience in life were really fulfilling to me? fulfilling Everyday we have a number of experiences. But there are a few that we find very fulfilling. These are those moments when we were just being ourselves. Reflect back and write down such experiences.
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Write down in details, what it was like when you were going through it. How were you feeling? What was so special, meaningful or important in it that makes it so fulfilling. Once you are able to answer these questions you will be able to define the purpose of your life. Try to word it out as precisely as possible. Write a number of drafts before you finalize one statement of purpose. A word of

caution; Don't write a purpose to impress others, or simply because it sounds great. Write it because you really feel for it, and believe in.
Write it in big bold letters and put it up in you own private place. This statement is your dream. CONGRATULATIONS !!! YOU HAVE DARED TO DREAM Now you belong to an elite club of people who have taken first step to Success. But now for Step 2, so that you can give it the strength of steel.

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2. HOW TO PROTECT YOUR DREAMS It is difficult to get dreams, and but very easy to loose them. The cruel world and its realities can kill the dreams that are not strong. Small saplings are more vulnerable then big trees. So work on dreams and develop them so they become big and strong. Cast them in steel. Here is how you do it: 2.1. Protect Protect your dreams from Dream Stealers

It is important that you share your dreams with others. But, you have to be careful. There is more number of people who will laugh at you. They will try to steal your dreams. These are dream stealers. Unfortunately, they may come in form of people we actually trust. They may be our friends, teachers, parents; people who really matters to us. They want no harm. But they are too obsessed with the realities of this world. They have buried their own dreams deep down. And they are scared that you may be hurt. They believe that if there is no dream there is no fear of pain that one gets by not realizing it. They do not know that you have the courage that you have 'Dared to Dream' Share your dream with them, but as soon as you find they are about to steal it get quiet Dared Dream'. and never speak to them about it. 2.2. Surround yourself with positive

Praise the Lord! There are enough people in this world who still have dreams. You will recognize them easily as they radiate positive energy. They will be appreciative of your dream. Some will encourage you, but there will be other who will be ready to hold your hand. These are the mentors you will need. Submit in them as there is a lot of power in submission. (Know more about the Power of Submission in that chapter). At the same time you will attract people who will start following you because of your dream. They will love you for your dream and will be willing to work for it. They will also fill you with conviction towards your dream. You will now want to realize the dream not only for your sake but also for all those who believe in you. 2.3. Leaders are Great because they have great Followers!

Another good way of positive association is to read plenty of positive books and listening to powerful inspirational speakers. Through books and recordings you can associate with positive people who have big dreams themselves, and will help you to strengthen your own dream. You can find plenty of such material at any good book store. 2.4. Imagine your dream coming true

Imagine how it will be when your dream becomes a reality. Draw vivid pictures. Visualize yourself living your dream. This is a very powerful technique that will give strength to your dream and help you to hold it when you feel like giving it up like many others. You can learn about it through Positive Visualization. 2.5. Positive Visualization

Positive visualization is a powerful technique for programming our mind for successes. Visualization is something that we do everyday. Unfortunately, this visualization is negative most of the time, as we see ourselves failing. How many times you have actually imagined that something wrong will happened and worried yourself to death? More we visualize negative, our sub-conscious mind get programmed negatively. So, if we want to program our mind for success, we can just do with consciously creating a positive picture in our mind. The sub conscious mind can not make out the difference between real experiences and the experiences we get out of our own imagination. Once the frame of reference gets changed in our mind, we automatically take actions that will make things happen the way we want them to happen. 2.6. Prepare a Roadmap

Make a plan that will help you live your dream. Break down the purpose of your life to time bound goals. Write
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down their material manifestation or rewards that you will give yourself. This can be anything, even personal goals such as better lifestyle, recognition, etc. Put on pictures of these goals or simply write them down in bold letter and put it on the wall. Power them up with the passion of your dream, and they in turn will help you to believe in your dream. Know more about goal setting. You can learn more about Goal Setting later in the chapter on Goal Setting. 2.7. Take Action

Dreams with no actions is day-dreaming, a mere fantasy that dies quickly. So, if you want to cast your dreams in steal, you start taking action on the roadmap that you have prepared. Don't try to leap. Take baby steps, small things that you will do each day that will take a little closer to your dream. It could be as simple as meeting someone, or making a phone call or sending an e-mail. There is power in Action. Take it as described in the next chapter.

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3. POWER OF ACTION Action is the most important of all powers in Success Principles. You may have all the knowledge in the world, but if you do not take any action and apply that knowledge, there is no use of it.

Knowledge without action is delusion Knowledge with action is Power.

You may have a dream, might even have faith, but if you do not take any action towards it, nothing will come out of it. Perhaps you have a dream of running your own organization, and you only keep on saying that I want to have my own organization, I want to have my own organization, but do not make any efforts towards it, what will happen? The answer is 'Nothing.' Mercedes Benz is a good car, but it is powerless, till someone sits in it and turns on the engine. It is when the engine is in action that the car starts moving and people look at it as it passes by. You know why majority of people never reach their full potential and excel in life? Why they spend a life of mediocrity? It is because of two reasons; first they do not have a dream backed with faith and second even if they do have a dream they never take any action. There are great numbers of talents in this world. There are more people who go to their graves with their music still inside them. They spend their entire life doing something they hate doing, living in the place they don't like, driving the only car they can afford. They keep on wishing; 'I wish I had more money,' 'Oh! I wish had a better job', 'I wish I had better education.' The problem is that they keep on wishing, but they never turn their wishes to dreams and goals and never really take any action towards it. Why Action is so powerful? What happens when we take Action? 3.1. Action creates positive energy

Action is always positive. As soon as you take action, your physiology will change. You will feel energetic, and as a result your mind will become positive. Just imagine you have returned home after a hard day. You feel tiered and slumping in the couch. A friend calls you that he has two tickets for the hit movie you so much wanted to see. What happens, you spring up, wash your face, change your clothes and reach the movie hall as fresh as a daisy. So what happened? Your springing up was the action, washing your face and changing the clothes were the action that not only changed your physiology but also produced the required positive energy that washed out the negative, that is feeling tired. 3.2. Action removes fear

Most people do not take action because they have various kinds of fears. What is fear? Fear is F.E.A.R. i.e. 'False Enemy Appearing Real.' So, fear is an enemy that does not exist but it appears so real in our mind that we create a mental monster and are scared to take action. Paradoxically the only antidote to fear is Action. We have fears in our mind because of either ignorance or because of our past failures that are rooted deep in our sub-conscious mind. When we take action we gain experience. And when actions produce results and we see ourselves performing the experience of failure in our sub-conscious mind is overwritten with an experience of success. In fact not taking action only strengthens our ignorance and our fear. This is how it works:

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I would like to share my personal experience. I had developed a fear for speaking in public during my high school. As a matter of fact, when the teacher used to ask me a question in front of entire class I used to start stammering, even though I knew the answer. One day, our teacher wrote a topic on the board and challenged anyone to come forward and speak on it. I was gripped with fear. But I decided that it has to be now or never. Without thinking, I raised my hand. When I reached the dais, and faced the class, my knees were shaking; my heart was thumping so hard that I felt it will come out of my mouth; my mouth felt dry. But I spoke. I had to fight for each word, but I spoke. And when I came back to my seat, the sense of accomplishment was enormous. After that I did not lose a single opportunity to speak in public. Each time I spoke, my fear died a little. And see I ultimately become a teacher, trainer and public speaker. Even today I feel a little nervous before I have to speak in front of total strangers, but never that paralyzing fear. Be brave. Bravery is not absence of fear, but doing something in spite of fear. Do the thing you fear and death of fear is inevitable. So, you have fear....take action. 3.3. Action produces results

Action produces reaction. And this reaction to your action is nothing but results. Results could be either what you desired or something else. There is never an action where there is no reaction. In the field of sales it is often said that a sale is made every time the sales-man makes a presentation. Either he sells the product to the customer, or the customer sells a 'no' to the sales man. So, there is a result, either positive or negative. What successful people do is that they take action and analyze the result against what they wanted. If the result is satisfactory they repeat the same action till they master it. If the result is not satisfactory they change their strategy and again take action. In other words they keep on taking action persistently till they achieve what they want. Good result after an action is success. A failure after action is also success. (See the Power of Failing Forward). Thomas Edison was asked if he felt discouraged by the 1,073 failures he had before inventing the electric light bulb. He said "I did not fail 1,073 times. I found 1,073 ways not to do it." 3.4. Action creates abundance

Human Being has the ability to create abundance through his action. A farmer sows a few grams of seeds to create abundance of food grain. You will be considered success only when you are able to create abundance. Through your profession you create abundance of wealth with which you can help others. In family life through your continuous action you create love and happiness. You can create an abundance of spiritual bliss through your righteous actions.
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The law of abundance is strange. It says that you give more you get more. Lot of people see this statement in a narrower perspective of giving only in material form. In fact, you create abundance by rendering your service abundantly, by helping other people abundantly. Through your profession you will create abundance of wealth in the exact proportion of the number of people you help. Similarly, you will create abundance of love and happiness in family when you give abundance of love, care and understanding. In other words you have to put in an abundance of action. Why some sportsmen have better records? Because they continue working hard, putting action in the sport they play. Why some doctors do well than others? Because they keep on taking action to gain abundance in knowledge that can cure better. Why some sales people sell more? Because, they meet more number of prospects, make more presentations; face more rejection, thus putting in a lot of action to create abundance in sales. So keep taking action consistently and persistently till you create abundance. As Zig Ziglar said, 'A Big shot is a small shot who kept on shooting.' 3.5. What is the right time to action?

The right time to take action is NOW? The biggest enemy of action is Procrastination, or delaying taking action. Do you remember those small tasks that you have not been doing thinking that you will do them one day but never got to it? There are a number of reasons for procrastination. However fear is number one followed closely by pure laziness. Volumes have been written on this greatest disease that has castigated more number of people to a life of mediocrity than anything else. People with great ideas whose name would have been shinning have led a life of obscurity because they never took any action. As mentioned fear is the number one reason of procrastination. This fear could be big or as small as a doubt in the corner of your mind. What if I do not do it well enough? What if people laugh at me? What if I fail, What if....? In fact there are no end to these doubts and fear in our mind and the more we think about it, they keep on becoming bigger and bigger. The guilt of not taking action makes us further miserable and lowers ours self image. And ultimately we live a mediocre life. In order to hide these fears, people make number of excuses. I am too old, or I am too young; I don't have enough money; I have too many other commitments; I don't have proper education; I am too tired. These are excuses that we make for our inaction as we try rationalizing our procrastination to others and ourselves. But, if you really want to be successful and live a dream, you will need to procrastinate one thing that is procrastination it self. There is just one way you can overcome both fear and laziness, and that is taking action RIGHT NOW! Don't think. Get up now and take action. When we think, what do we really think? We think of the doubts that we have in our mind that are becoming mental monsters in form of fear and then we think of excuses. So, don't think, just ACT NOW. Thats it, stop reading, get up and do something which you have been postponing right now and then come back to read this again. Here is an exercise for you that will start you on to the habit of taking action right NOW. Step 1: Take a piece of paper and list at least five things that you have been thinking of doing for sometime but have not done it so far. It could be as small as making a phone call, writing a letter to your friend, sending a email, checking up some information on net, or simply telling your loved ones 'I love you.' Step 2: Get up, and do it one after another. RIGHT NOW, or at least before the day is completed. You are not going to go to bed without completing that, (or I will come in your dreams and haunt you).

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Do it NOW!! It may be your only chance..

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4. POWER OF FAILING FORWARD

"Show me a man who never failed I will show you a man who never worked"
- Vivek Ray When I was little my grandfather once told me "Failure is a pillar of Success." I could not understand it that time that how is it possible. But whatever, I took his word for it and I was ready to fail. Since, I was ready to fail; I tried more number of times. And guess what? Though, there are number of things in which I have not succeeded as yet, but I never failed. I will never fail because I refuse to accept defeat.

"Failure may mean delay It never means defeat"

The fear of Failing is the number one reason, for which people procrastinate taking action. And because they never take action they never really achieve anything. The fear of failing is strong in their mind, and they feel that they can never fail if, they have never tried. But think, if they are not trying, will they be successful? Of course not! And if you are not a success you are definitely a failure. If there is no light it is most definitely dark. However, there are quiet a few people who have tried at least once, and have failed. A fewer are there who tried a second time and failed. Then even lesser number who tried a third time. It is true that whenever you do something, you have more number of chances of failing then succeeding. But you are not a failure as long as you have not quit trying. But, what most people do, they quit and dump their dreams and accepts it as their fate, or just put the blame on something or someone for not succeeding.

"Winners never quit Quitters never win"

When I saw my sons growing up, I observed that why children learns so fast. It is so because, they never quit trying. I remember their first step. I never counted how many times he tried taking her first step and fell. But every time she fell, she got up and tried again. One more time and, then to everybody's joy he took her first step, and second. When he was still learning to walk, he fell a number of times and hurt himself. He even cried a bit. But when ever he used to get up I could see determination in his eyes and no fear. Bradman, Gavaskar, Tendulkar, and so many more! Those of you who are cricket fans would know these names. They have been known as the best and the most successful batsman of their times. They have scored more number of runs in cricket than anyone else. It is not because; they have scored on every ball that was balled to them. It is because they played more number of balls then any one else. In fact if you count the number of balls they have actually missed, or did not score on, you will get a figure far more than the number of balls they have actually scored a run. And that is the secret. They failed every time when they could not score. But they kept on playing, ball after ball, ball after ball. And runs kept trickling in and the totals became so impressive that people call them a success. in Failures in life are inevitable. But what counts is your attitude towards it. There are two kinds of people in this world. One who will accept failure as their fate and quit. The other kinds are who will not accept defeat. They to will use the failure as a motivation to learn, move on and try one more time. They are the people who know that, day only comes at the end of night, acceptance follows a series of rejections, and success follows failure. rejections A living example of this is Amitabh Bachchan, a legend, whose success can not be easily surpassed in the movie world. When he decided to become an actor, he faced a lot of rejection. He did not have the right type of personality to become an actor. Producers and directors told him that he is too tall, too skinny, a wrong type of face and a voice that is far too deep. But he was not the one who would have given so easily. He had a dream, and he knew that he can act. So, he went from one producer to another getting rejected. But then, some one gave him a break. And then he started getting small breaks before one movie he did was a big hit. Most of you will say that he became successful from that time. But I tell you, success is not a destination but a journey. Amitabh

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Bachchan started on it the very first time he thought that he should become an actor, and went and met the first producer. It is not that, he was successful ever after. He had started his own company that went bankrupt. But he was a winner, not a quitter. He refused to accept failure and started a career afresh at an age of 55. And he came up stronger than before. The history of mankind is studded with such numerous examples who have achieved in spite of all odds. It was not that they were lucky. They had shares of their failure, but they never gave up. "Either you can fail forward or you can fail backward" It is not that successful people do not fail. It is that they decide to fail forward rather than failing backward and quit. When you learn to fail forward, failures stops bothering you, and in fact through failure you become a better you. How to fail forward? You may ask. Here are few of the things that successful people do. Why don't you do it as well! 4.1. Learn from your failures

Why do we fail? We fail because, because we have not taken the right decisions somewhere; or there is something that is lacking in us, or we do not know the right way to do it. So we fail. But it is better to take a wrong decision and fail rather than not taking a decision at all. So, make an action plan using best of your ability and collecting whatever information you can. Do not wait till you have made a so called perfect fool proof plan. There are no fool proof plans, only fools who believe it is there. So make plan, take a decision and take action. When you take action two things can happen. Either you succeed or fail. If you succeed the first time (which is unlikely, but if you do by fluke), well congratulations. But, if you do fail, sit back and analyze that why you have failed. Every failure adds up to your experience. You know one more way of how something can not be done. You are more knowledgeable now. Since you have done it you have more information. So as a result you will be able to make a better plan. Mind it! I am saying a better plan, not the best plan. You make a new plan, and again take action. Again those two things can happen. But do it a third time and fourth, and keep on doing it till you succeed. So, it is simple, every time you fail all you have to do is thank God, that you have learned something, and you will not repeat the same mistake again. Many times we do not know what we do not know. Failure is a wonderful way for us to learn what we do not know. There may be number of things, skills, soft skills and knowledge that may be necessary for us to succeed. So, after you analyzed your failure, you will find the skills that you require, and then, take action towards acquiring them. 4.2. Learn to say next

Rejections are part of life. There is no one in this world who has never been rejected. There is no one who has never failed. So do not start mourning for you have failed or got rejected. Life is too short to mourn at every time you fail and call it quits. So, what you do? Say next and move on! "Next" is a powerful word. It makes you see forward; it fills you with hope and fresh positive aspiration. There is thought that I love. The thought says that everything in this world is counted. The number of times your heart is going to beat is pre-decided, the number of times you are going to breath is counted. And it is true, since no one has breathed more than the number of times destined for him. Similarly the number of times you are going to fail is also counted. When you complete your quota for failure, all you are left with is success. So keep trying, keep taking risk, till you are done with failure. The 'Next' time is when you will hit the jackpot. 4.3. Play the number Game
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I have already sold you the idea that your success is directly proportionate to the number of times you have tried. Each of us has our rate of success, i.e. the number of attempts you have to make to succeed. In the professional world, people often talk about 80-20 theory. The theory says that if you make eighty attempts, you will succeed, twenty times. In fact, this ratio is some what universal. In any work place, 20% of people do 80% of the work, where as rest 20% is done by the 80% of people. 20% of the people control 80% of the wealth in the world, where as rest 80% of people controls only 20%. Each of us has our own ratio of attempts and success. So, set a goal of number of attempts you will make. Keep a record of all your failed attempts and the ones that brought you some success. Soon you will know your rate, and you will know that how many times you will have to attempt to score a success. The best salespeople in the world use this technique effectively, to improve their sales. We do not know how it works, but we don't care to know as long as it does. Keep on doing it and you will see that soon your rate will improve, and you will succeed more number of times. In other words success will become a habit with you. 4.4. Analyze your success

So, far I have told you only to analyze your failures, as they will give you important information about what you lack; therefore giving you an opportunity to improve on your self. But if you really have decided to fail forward, you must also analyze your successes. Every time you fail, think of the times when you succeeded. It is impossible that you do not have even a single success to your name. Think about all your success and make a list. They could be as small as getting a 'A' grade in your middle school. Now, analyze what you have done to bring about that success. If you think about all those itsy bitsy successes in your life, you will soon realize that what works for you. Just add that ingredient in the plan you made last time, and you will see how your result changes. 4.5. Be ready to change vehicles, and take a different route

If success is what you want, do not get obsessed with the vehicle that you feel will take you to your success. One of such vehicle is the profession one chooses to take up. Most of the people take a particular profession because; they feel that the chosen profession can make them a success faster. But it seldom happens. After a time, they feel disillusioned and see themselves going somewhere they do not want to go. (It is another story most people do not even know where they want to go!) But, still they remain stuck to the same profession, year after year and then wish the things will change. It is very simple. If you keep on doing the same thing, you will keep on getting the same result. So, if the present vehicle is not giving you what you want, dare to change it. Dare to change the route to success if you feel that the present route does not take you there. Yes! Change is difficult, but change also means growth and it is worth making. Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam wanted to become an Air Force officer before he became a scientist. Mahatma Gandhi was practicing law before he started working for equality of people and eventually led the peaceful freedom struggle in India. Ray Kroc, chief executive of McDonald's, didn't start out managing a fast-food business. He began his career selling paper products and milkshake stirring machines to restaurants all over the nation. You will find similar references in history where people made changes in their professions and took detours to achieve success. Don't Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will When the road you're trudging seems all uphill When the funds are low and the debts are high
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And you want to smile, but you have to sigh When care is pressing you down a bit Rest, you must - but don't you quit Life is queer with its twists and turns As every one of us sometimes learns And many a failure turns about failure When he might have won had he stuck it out Don't give up, though the pace seems slow You might succeed with another blow Success is failure turned inside out, the silver tint of the clouds of doubt And you never can tell how close you are, It may be near when it seems so far So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit It's when things seem worst, That you MUST NOT QUIT!
by Quinton Howell 5. NO GOALS NO GAME We used to go to the park which had a wonderful mango tree. We loved sweet mangoes, but raw ones had their own fun, not only because they are wonderfully sour, but because we used to knock them down using a catapult. One of our friends had a wonderful aim with the catapult, and I hardly remember him ever missing a target. He would pull the strap of his catapult loaded with a stone and release it. Snap, and down used to come a mango. The other three of us were only collecting them from the ground. Anyone could be as good a shot he was; only if, we blindfold him and turn him around a couple of times. His skill with catapult would have been useless if he could not see the target. Go to a railway station, and simply ask for a railway ticket. I doubt how much the ticketing clerk will be able to help you if you do not tell him where you want to go, when, and which train you want to take. Have you seen a football match? There are twenty two people running after a ball. But each of them has a sense of direction, a sense of purpose. What will happen if we remove the goal posts? Yes, it could be anything but football. Every sport in this world has a goal, a target, a finish line, a boundary. After all; No goal equals no game. When are we called successful in our life? Surely, when we achieve! What will you achieve if you have not set targets, when you have no aim or in other words you have no Goals in life? 5.1. Goals keep you in the right track

What is the right path? A materialist may say, it is the acquisition of wealth, a spiritualist might say it is discovery of truth. I say the right path is one that takes you towards the fulfillment of your dream. You have a dream, but no action plan, no goals; you will end someplace that is far away from your dream. When an airplane goes or a ship goes from one place to another, they follow a pre-decided path. But in open sea, or air, there are currents that take them away from their course. So they check their position regularly, and make adjustments. Can they do it if there was no pre-decided path to follow. Similarly, life has pressures and circumstances that may take us away from our dream. These Goals serves as the check points and keep us moving in the right direction. Without goals life will be like a boat without a rudder, a wandering generality that will be going from here to there, with no sense of direction, and in the end, capsize without ever achieving anything. 5.2. Goals keep you in command
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Unless you are a complete vagabond (in that case you will not be reading this), you will always be chasing some goals in your life. The difference is that either you will be setting your own goals or someone else will do it for you. It will be your parents to begin with, then your teachers, then professors in college and university then your boss, customers, family. If you are child it is all right for your parents and teachers to set goals for you, as by this they teach you not only goal-setting, but also values of discipline, responsibility and accountability. But as you grow older, the onus of setting goals fall more and more on you. If you do not set your own goals that are focused at fulfilling your dreams, you will be pushed around by people and circumstances to such an extent that you will completely loose the command on your own life. It is painful to see so many people in rut simply because they never set any goals for themselves. 5.3. Goals keep you moving during difficult situations

A few years back, I along with my wife went to another city to attend a conference. Feeling very adventurous we decided to ride the two hundred kilometers on bike. (In fact it was my long cherished dream). It was easy while going in the morning as I felt fresh, and in day light it looked exciting. The conference ended at 10:00 PM and we felt tired. But retuning the same night was important as we have left our son in care of the baby sitter. It was becoming increasingly difficult for me to keep going, and felt like stopping. So what I did, I set a goal that after every ten kilometer we shall stop and stretch a bit. This way every time we went for only ten kilometers, before we would stop and stretch. Every time I kicked start my stretch, I was looking forward to my next break, rather than the cozy bed of my bedroom, that was now the ultimate destination. It took some time to reach, but reaching every goal of ten kilometers kept us going and at last we reached. Similarly, our dreams are often far fetched, and the road is full of challenges that can at times tire us and demoralize us. But when we set small goals that we can easily visualize and attain, we walk baby steps, and keep moving..just another ten kilometers, till we reach. 5.4. Goals give a sense of accomplishment and keep you motivated

This book is a dream for me. But writing so many pages, on different things about success is not easy. It requires hours of study, research and thought. But I do not think about the book, but the page I am writing. After every page I finish, I get a sense of accomplishment. I feel closer to realizing my dream. Guess what, I live my dream. Goals, since they are achievable and measurable will give you a sense of accomplishment that will keep you motivated, to achieve yet another goal. The motivation that you get by reaching one goal can be enough to take you through the next goal. That is the power of goal setting. In the next page you will find the types of Goals.

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5.5.

TYPES OF GOALS

Before we talk any further about goals we need to examine, what success means to most of us, for which we shall need goals. My study shows that success means different things to different people. But true success is a balance of a number of things. A successful person will be happy, healthy, and reasonably prosperous, secured, have peace of mind enjoy good relationships and will have hope for a better future future. If a person is very wealthy and his wealth is accumulated at the price of health, relationships, and peace of mind, he can not be called successful. In fact a person with lesser wealth with all other ingredient of success is definitely more successful. The reason that I felt it necessary to mention here is because, there are a lot of people who set financial goals and achieve them, but at the end of it loose everything else. The world is full of such lonely, unhappy, sick rich people. Of course you do not want to be one of them. Therefore, you need to have goals that will cover every ingredient of success. Based on these, the probable types of goals are given below. These are not given in the order of priority or importance, because it is your life and they are your goals. PHYSICAL 5.5.1. Physical Goals These are the goals that are related to your physical well being and health. If you need to loose weight, or improve your physical condition and health in some way, you will need to set these goals. FINANCIAL 5.5.2. Career Goals Where do you want to be in your career five years from now, ten years from now?! In what position you see yourself and what you will do to reach there, what kind of value addition you will do to your skills, both hard and soft, will fall under career goals. 5.5.3. Financial Goals When are you planning your retirement, what kind of house you want to live in, what kind of car you want to drive, where you want to go for vacation, what kind of education do you want to afford for your children? Answer to all these will depend on you financial planning, and achievement of your financial Goal Setting. 5.5.4. Pleasure Goals As the children of God it is your right to enjoy and have pleasure. Set goals for your enjoyment and how you are going to spend time for yourself. Goals may be set for entertainment, learning new art or for taking up new hobbies. EMOTIONAL 5.5.5. Relationships & Family Goals Relationships and your family are one of the biggest assets that you may have. How will you improve your old friendships, and make new ones? What will you do for your spouse, children, parents, greater family, so as to take these relationships to a greater depth? It is worth it to set goals in this area to have a fulfilled life.

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5.5.6. Social Goals More often your success will be measured by what you do for the society rather than your personal achievements. As a human being it is your responsibility to give back to society more than what you receive from it. Any goals that you set for this purpose are Social Goals. SPIRITUAL 5.5.7. Self Development & Spiritual Goals A person is like a fruit. As long as you are green you are growing. If you stop growing you ripen and fall to ground. One of the greatest blessings of human life is the lifelong ability to learn. So, keep learning, keep growing internally. Set goals for improving your attitude, self image, faith etc. People those who are spiritually higher enjoy better self image, better relationships, and more financial success as they have stronger faith. Spiritual upliftment is an important purpose of all human life and one should set goals in this area of self development. If you look at the above goals carefully you will see that all these goals are actually interdependent. For example how well you will do financially depends on your progression in your career. Similarly your career, relationships will depend on the level of your personal and spiritual development as well as your physical well being. The type of pleasure that you will be able to afford and even some of the relationships that you will enjoy will be dependent on your career and financial situations. Of course you will not want to expand your family if you can not afford it financially. So, while setting a goal, you should take into consideration different aspects of your life. Then only you will be able to enjoy a balanced success. If you set goals that are only materialistic in nature, such as only career goals and financial goals, while neglecting other goals in life, chances are that you will do well in these two areas, but will be stressed out, burned out, and unhappy at that end. Here, I wish to make myself clear. I am not against accumulation of wealth, but in its favour. Many, people say that too much money is bad, or money is evil. I do not believe in it. Money is a great indices of success, and can bring immense joy. In this material world it can give you power to help others, and do a lot of other things. It is bad or evil when money becomes your only goal. It is evil, when you run after money, thus sacrificing everything else that will ultimately matter, such as your values, relationships, health and eventually mental peace. It is our attitude towards money that can be good or bad, not money itself. This was about the types of goals. In the next pages I have tried to give you a clear guideline for setting goals and achieving them. GOAL 5.6. DEVELOPING YOUR GOAL PROGRAM I believe this is the most important page of this compilation. Everything that I have put in here is meaningless with out this section. This is where action starts. This is where you will start taking control of your life. This is where you will become a meaningful & specific rather than a wandering generality. So, Congratulations!!! Let me confess it took me longest to write this particular section. It took a lot of reading, research and soulsearching to find the most practical method that can really help you to develop your own goal program that will give you balanced success. I must admit that once again it was our great mentor Zig Ziglar who helped me through his wonderful book Over the Top. Here again I stress on the idea of balanced success. Most people in this world have one dimensional or two dimensional success. The reason is they set goals in only one area of their life and ignore the others. As a result they may appear successful in the eyes of others, but inside they are not really happy and content. Therefore to enjoy balanced the most important objectives of your life should be to
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o o o o o o o o

Be Happy Be Healthy Be Prosperous Be Secured Have Peace of Mind Have Friends Enjoy Good Family Relationships Have Hope for a Better tomorrow

The above objectives along with the purpose of your life that you have identified will form the basis for your Goal Program. The best thing with the procedure that is suggested is that it is common for all types of goals. More over it will help you to develop a program encompassing every part of your life and will be targeted to help you achieve balanced success. Warning: Developing a goal program is not a task that can be completed in a jiffy. It is time taking and requires patience. That might be the reason that many people never really get to really developing the goal program for their lives, even though they are impressed with the requirement of having one. So, the first goal that you will have to set is the goal of developing a goal program for your life. It may take you a couple of days to may be a week. But when we are talking about your life this time is worth investing.

Step No. 1: TAKE INVENTORY

How will you know where you want to go if you do not even know where you are today? Many people live a life of denial. They wear a mask of so called satisfaction, though somewhere inside they are sea of discontentment. Then there are others who have a lot, but still complaints and are totally thankless. Both these situations, I believe are negative. In order to take inventory, ask the following questions to your self and answer them clearly on a sheet of paper. o o o o o o o What are the things in existence that makes me happy? What is the status of physical health, mental health and spiritual health? What is my financial position as of today? How secured I feel, emotionally and financially? Do I have peace of mind, or I suffer from discontentment? What is the status of my relationship with family and friends? What are the best things in my relationships and what is it that might be a problem?

Once you have answered the above questions giving reasonable thought you will be pretty aware of the current situation of your life. This current situation is your starting point, and from here you will go ahead.

Step No.. 2 : PPEPARE A WILD LIST No

Since you already know that what you have, next step is to prepare a wild list of all that you want. It is being called a wild list, as at this stage you will write down whatever you feel you want without, prejudging, or using reason that how it can be achieved. Write down as and when it comes to your mind. You do not try to structure it anyway. This 'wish list' will include everything material or intangible. Include the members of your family as

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they are ultimately taking this trip with you. I am sure they will be excited to do it with you, as this just might be the first time you have really ever asked that what they want. However, while making this list, stretch your imagination a bit, and try to be as specific as possible at this stage. For example if your list includes a new house, go on to explain where the house will be, what kind of locality, how will it look, how many rooms it will have, what will be colour of the wall etc. Try to quantify and specify even if they are intangible goals. For example if it is about improving a particular relationship, try to explain, what you really mean by good relationship with that particular person. If it is about making new friendship, try to explain what are the qualities are you looking for in the friend, and what you really want out of the friendship. Preparing a wild list is not a job that you can finish in a single day. I believe it takes at least 48 hours to may be a week. Keep on thinking, and as soon as anything comes in your mind note it down. I hope you have understood what you are doing. You are making a list of rewards that you want in life. These are the rewards that will motivate you to take action, and give you direction, in which you must move.

Step No. 3 : TRY TO FIND THE 'WHY' FOR EVERY THING ON LIST
So, far you were making a list of all you want, without really thinking much about it. Now is the time when you will start thinking seriously about each one of them. There are a number of things in this world we feel we want. But do we really want it? This question is important. Sometimes we may want something simply because it is what others expect us to want. Other times there may be something that we think we want, but actually we don't. Such a situation can have two results. Either, the goal will never motivate you to take any action or you may reach the goal spending time and energy only to realize it that you never wanted it. Many times the time you have lost is too long and precious to really make amendments. You will find a large number of retired people who look back in their lives to discover that they never did what they really wanted to do, because they were too busy doing what they never wanted. To safe guard from such a situation you will follow this and then the next two steps. In this step simply ask yourself 'Why you want to be, to do or have' for every point you have written down on your wild list. Eliminate any point that you have listed on your wild-list for which you are unable to articulate a one or two lines answer.

Step No. 4 : ASK YOURSELF THESE SOLID GOLD QUESTIONS

Ask the following questions for each of the goal that is still on you list:

1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

Is it really my goal (or is it set by someone else)? Is it fair and morally correct to everyone concerned? Will my reaching this goal take me closer or father to my larger purpose of life? Can I commit myself emotionally to this goal? Can I visualize myself reaching the Goal?

The answer to all the above questions must be a big 'Yes.' If it is not for any of the goal listed in your list, simply strike it off. Let me assure a goal that is not yours, will harm others or does not take you closer to your larger purpose of life is not worth pursuing. And if you do not commit yourself emotionally to the goal, or if you can not visualize yourself reaching the goal, chances are that you will never achieve that goal.

Step No. 5 : EVALUATE AGAINST THE MAIN OBJECTIVES OF YOUR LIFE

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Now the next step is to evaluate each goal against the various ingredients of success that are the main objective of your life. For each remaining goal in your list ask yourself: - Is this goal going to make me happier- healthier- win friends- give peace of mind- make me prosperous - will give me security- better my family relationships or give hope. - In other words is this goal give me balanced success. Of course, the goal that you have set will fulfill more than one objectives mentioned above. However, if it does not fulfill any of it, strike it of. It is possible that it may fulfill just one objective but hamper others, and then it means that reaching the goal will not give balanced success, and hence is not worth pursuing.

Step No. 6 : GIVE TIMELINE TO EACH GOAL

Now that you have the goals that you should and will really pursue, you divide each goal as long term, intermediate and short term. You will be surprised to see that many of the short terms goal will lead you to intermediate goals and then long term goals. For example, financial freedom may be one of your long term goals. But there will be many more short term and intermediate goals that you have already written that you will achieve as you undertake your journey to financial freedom. Once you have divided each goal into the relevant time range, put a date by which you want to reach it, against each of them. Do this by putting some thought in it. A date that is too close will make the goal seem impossible to reach and will de-motivate you. A date given too far off then required will not encourage you to take action right now. However, there will be some goals that will have no deadline but will be ongoing in nature. These goals are the one that usually give quantifiable rewards, but are crucial to continuing success. For example, loosing 20 Kg of weight is a quantified goal and hence you can set a timeline for it. But keeping fit and in shape in unquantifiable goal and hence is ongoing one.

Step No. 7 : BREAK DOWN LONG TERM GOALS INTO SHORT TERM GOALS
Even now it is possible that there are some long term and intermediate goals that do not have a corresponding short term goal in your list. For example, you have just started your career in junior management. And you have written Vice President as a goal. Of course this is a long term goal for you at the moment, because before you are actually made the Vice-President, you will have to climb a number of stairs on the career ladder. So, write down the next higher designation than the one you are working in as your corresponding short term goal and give it a timeline. Since the short term goals are nearer to us, it is easier to visualize them and get committed to them, compared to the long term ones. Of course it is easy to be motivated by a target that we see near us than the one that is too far for us to see. CONGRATULATIONS !!! Now you have a Goal Program. The next few pages will tell you how you can reach your goals.

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5.7.

REACHING YOUR GOALS

Developing your goal program was the first step towards turning your life from a wandering generality to meaningful specific. However, ultimately what is going to matter is that how will you reach your goals and ultimately live a life of with balanced success. And this is exactly what this section of the site is going to tell you. So, without wasting much time let us straight get down to business: 5.7.1. Use Your Goals as a Motivational Tool The goals that you have identified while you were developing your goal program are the one that are really worth pursuing. You have ensured it by following a filtering procedure. You really believe that they are the one that will give you balanced success, and are important for you emotionally. Goals, motivates us only when they appeal us emotionally. Now you need to get a little more emotional or say passionate about them. On the General Goal Chart that you have prepared record the benefits that you seek to receive from each goal. (You will require one sheet for each goal). When you do this you get excited about the prospect of receiving those benefits and in turn get motivated. Fear is usually de-motivates. But it is also a powerful motivator when used positively. Fear of loosing something at times may be bigger then other fears that might stop you from taking action. So, also record in your Goal Chart, the things that you might loose if you do not pursue this particular goal. 5.7.2. Develop Commitment to Them Now to keep you committed towards the goal and keep you perpetually motivated do the following: Put them on Walls: Write down your goals in big bold letters preferably with coloured pens on thick paper along with the date when you are going to achieve it. Wherever possible paste a picture of the reward that you are seeking. Paste these papers on the wall in your private place, where you can see them every day. They will serve as a constant reminder to you of your goals. Share your goals: (But carefully). Share your goals with your family who are partner in your success, with your friends who love you unconditionally and are your well-wishers. Speaking about your goals helps in developing commitment towards them. Share freely your give-up goals (bad things that you are going to give up). However, the go-up goals must be shared carefully, and never to those who ridicule you, are jealous of you or do not want to see you going up. Visualize: Visualize yourself reaching the goal. Close your eyes and create a mental image where you see yourself receiving the benefits that you expect to receive one you reach the goal. More about this technique is explained in Power of Positive Visualization.

5.7.3. Identify Major Challenges We are living in fool's paradise if we believe that there will be no challenges, obstacles or roadblocks. When we know that we have to face them, I believe that it is good sense to identify them and get ourselves prepared for them. In your General Goal Chart, list down the challenges and roadblocks you think may be facing while achieving a particular goal. Once identified and listed you will be able to keep them in consideration while in your action plan. 5.7.4. Identify the Resource Requirement

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For every goal you will require certain resources. Either you may already have it, or you may have to acquire it. Knowledge, skills and know how are important resources that you will require in one way or other for every goal that you have. If say getting a good physical shape is your goal, then you will require knowledge about your diet, exercise procedures, etc. Apart from this each goal may have some specific resource requirement. List them down in the space provided for the purpose in your General Goal Procedure Chart. 5.7.5. Enlist Help Wherever Required Quiet paradoxically your personal success is also a team work. In order to achieve your personal goals you will require help of other people. These people may be your family members and your friends who will provide encouragement and support, mentors and teachers who will guide you and not let you make fatal mistakes, professionals like doctors, lawyers, consultants etc. who will provide various types of services. Make a list of all those, whose help you will require to reach the particular goal in the Chart. Action 5.7.6. Prepare Action Plan (Break Goals into Small Action Points) At this stage I will advice you to pick up four to six most important goals that you want to give maximum priority. This will depend on your current situation that you have identified while you were taking inventory while you were Developing Your Goal Program. These are the goals on which you will start working immediately, keeping the rest on wait list. The reason is that if you try to work on all the goals that you have on the goal program, it may become too much for you, and you will loose focus. List down step by step that has to be done or achieved to reach your goal. There will be something that is in your control, such as acquiring skill or knowledge, meeting someone for help, writing a letter or doing anything on a daily basis. However, the result of these may always be not in your control. So, make a list of 'Action' that you will put in, but do not include the outcome as an Action Point. If there is a particular 'result or outcome' (beyond your control) that will be required for you to move on further towards your goal, than this result is just a smaller, more short term goal, and must be treated as one. For some action points you will set some deadlines. Few others will be such that you will have to repeat on an ongoing basis till the goal is achieved or remains relevant. (Daily exercising is one such action point that will be on an ongoing basis as the goal of good physical health will always remain a relevant one). 5.7.7. Develop Daily Accountability Now that your Action Plan is ready, it is time to take action. Doing small things every day, and taking baby steps is going to add up to make a big difference. You will reach your goals only if you develop accountability to each action that you need to take everyday. They are your goals. These are the goals that are going to fulfill the dreams of your life. They are your responsibility. So, it is you who is accountable to your goals and dream. Commitment and Accountability are important values and good value system is an important Success Principle. See Power of Values to read more about values. Taking action every day persistently and with commitment and accountability is going to create momentum that will take you to reach your target. Do what you have decided on doing. Do what you say you do. In case you are not doing what you have thought of doing or saying what you are doing, you will create a frame of reference in your mind that you are not accountable and lower your self image. (See Self Image). So, be accountable and take Action. There is power in Action and produces results and brings rewards. (See Power of Action) 5.7.8. Discipline Yourself It is your character and commitment that will spur you into action, but it takes discipline to follow
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through. Many people start well, but owing to discouragement, laziness, poor self image or many other factors never see to the end. There are many times you will not want to do something. But it is discipline that will help you get out of the bed and do what is required, to be done. There will be temptations and diversions and you may feel like procrastinating. That is when you will need discipline to do it anyway. Discipline is a important value that is mentioned in the Power of Values. 5.7.9. Get into Shape Physically, Mentally & Spiritually Physical, mental and spiritual health is not only important for balanced success, but it is also impossible to reach goals if you are not healthy in all these three aspects. Take care of your health. An unhealthy body can not strive for achievement. T makes a person irritable and affects his/her relationships. So, even if you have not put healthy body as one of the goals, it still remains one. In order to make commitment, be accountable, and disciplined while you move towards your goal will require positive attitude, high self image, faith, and high value systems. These are all ingredients of a mental and spiritual health. In order to keep your-self fit, you eat nutritionally balanced food, get adequate sleep and do physical exercise. To keep the mind healthy you read good positive books, listen to powerful inspirational recordings, associate with right kind of people and pray. Make these activities a part of your daily Action Plan. 5.7.10. Respond Positively to Disappointments (Change Directions not Decisions) As you take your journey towards success, and in the process of reaching the milestones called goals, you will come across obstacles, roadblocks, bumpy roads that you had not envisaged earlier. Their will be unprecedented setbacks that will prevent your from reaching your goal. At such junctures you will have two choices, one is to react negatively and give up your goals or secondly responding positively and do something about it. See the Power of Failing Forward. Failure may mean delay but it never means defeat. Failure is a learning experience that simply tells you that things need to be done differently. There are problems. There will be traffic jams. But at the same time there are no problems that can not be solved. If you do not see any way through the problem, work around it. Take a different route. Change your Action Plan, and make it more conducive to the circumstances. Be persistent in reaching your goal but at the same time be flexible with your Action Plan. 5.7.11. Celebrate & Reward Yourself on Reaching a Target All of you have a very faithful employee. It never leaves you or change loyalties. But most of you never really pay him or give him any rewards. This loyal employee of yours is you. When was it when you had pat your own back and rewarded yourself for completing a project, for achieving something, or doing something good? On the contrary, most punish this faithful employee with self-defeating thoughts. No wonder many of us never gets any motivation from within. Every small victory, every achievement, is a cause for a celebration, big or small. Make every small achievement a reason to celebrate. Small celebrations for small victories are all that is required to keep motivation high for bigger victories. It could be a nice movie that you have been denying yourself, or a dinner, or a night out. Fix for your self a reward for every action point in your chart, and give it to yourself promptly when you do what is to be done. Happiness is not in big things but in celebrating small things in life, and that is the biggest purpose of our life. In the next section we are going to deal with how you can achieve your goals on a Daily basis and how you can live a life that is Action & Performance Oriented.

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6. TIME MANAGEMENT In order to achieve your goals and be successful in life you need to be a success every day of your life. Everyday you must do something that will take you nearer to your goal. If you are still happy about what you did yesterday, you have not done enough today.

"Our ideals resemble the stars, which illuminate the night. No one will ever be able to touch them. But the men who, like the sailors on the ocean, take them for guides, will undoubtedly reach their goal."
- Carl Schurz

"What is not started today is never finished tomorrow" today

- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Everybody has got twenty four hours in a day. I am yet to find a person who has less or more number of hours. But the way we utilize it, makes all the difference in our life. Time is money. And like money we use our time in three ways: Spend it Waste it Invest it

What do you do with your time? This section is going to give you some tools and concepts that will help you to invest your time wisely. If you take action on the concept that is outlined here and use the tools, I guarantee you that your life will suddenly jump to a life full of achievement from a life of mediocrity. Planning Your week and Next Day Planning Different Types of Activities: There are four kinds of activities that you take in a day, viz: Essential activities Necessary activities Important activities Desirable activities such as eating, bathing, sleeping, traveling etc. such as exercising, reading, praying, spending time with family etc. related to projects that are you are working on, work, job etc. such as entertainment, socializing and partying, vacationing etc.

Your aim is to strike a balance within these activities while you are planning your week. Essential activities are unavoidable activities. However, there are some aspects of these activities that you can control. On the Weekly Goal Setting Sheet pen these activities and how you are going to control these clearly. For example: o o o Eat sensible nutritious diet and avoid junk food. The time you will get up everyday and go to sleep. How will you use your time for traveling- such as by listening to inspirational recording, Positive Self Talk, or thinking.

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Necessary activities are those that are for your physical, mental and spiritual health, as well as for important relationships; mainly your family. They must always be on top priority. They are also of ongoing nature. Write down these activities with the amount of time you are going to devote to each of them. The essential and necessary activities will take almost a fixed amount of time everyday. The remaining time is for other two activities. Important activities are related to the deadline based goals/projects that you are currently working on. They may be related to your career, job, business, education, etc. However, if you are working to loose a few kilograms of weight, then even this is an important activity. Since, it will need some extra effort besides just exercising to keep fit, till you achieve the target body weight. Once these targets are achieved, you can use this time for achieving other targets. Write down these goals that you are working on at the moment in your Weekly Goal Setting Sheet. Desirable activities are those that make your life more enjoyable, but you can definitely do without, for a while. You must plan time for these as a reward for honest effort that you are putting in necessary and important activities. However you must definitely keep some time every week for relaxation, watching television, your hobbies, shopping, movies, dinners, clubs etc, but don't over do it. However, if required you may not indulge in these activities for sometime following the principle of delayed gratification. Write down these desirable activities in your Weekly Goal Setting Sheet with the amount of time you are going to spend on them. 6.1. Plan Your First Day

On the daily planner, you will plan the activities for the first day of the week. Start from the first thing that you will do after getting out of bed, followed by next. Write down the scheduled time for those activities that are in your control. For example you can put the time for your exercise, breakfast, going to office etc. Simply, List out the activities for the goals/ projects that you are working on along with the time each one is going to take. Do not ignore very small activity also, because these are the one that we tend to forget or procrastinate, such as writing a letter, making a phone call, seeking an appointment etc. Only write down as many activities that you can finish in a day. I will suggest that, though you will allot time for each of them, keep the actual time period flexible, as you may have to change it due to unexpected circumstances outside your control. For example, you wanted to send some mails, but the internet is down, or you called somebody, only to find him/her busy and will have to call back later. 6.2. Keeping a Watch on Yourself

This is the time for action. What you do now will produce results that will not only fulfill your dream but take you closer towards your dream. So, this is the time you have to keep a watch on yourself. You will be maintaining a time log for every activity that you do. As soon as you get up, record the time in your Daily Performance Chart. Record the time when you went to bathroom for morning chores, write down the time you started and finished exercising, took your bath, had your breakfast, made a phone call. Once in a while take a look at the planner and strike out the activities that you have completed. There will be unexpected assignments and circumstances that will make you deviate from your plan. If required do them and record them in the Daily Performance Sheet. By the end of the day you will have a list of things that you have done. 6.3. Analyzing Your Day

The list that has come up during the day will make you feel proud of yourself, and it is important to feel proud of one own-self. Now analyze the days log for the following: This will take approximately ten to fifteen minutes. Find activities that you did not do because of your lack of commitment for them. Recommit yourself to them. You may use self talk discussed in 'Success Programming' to develop commitment.

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Activities that took less or more time then you have planed. Also try to analyze the reasons for that. Identify areas where you used more time then required, or were wasting time. Figure out what you could have done in that time. However, time that you has spend taking a short break and having a cup of coffee, or just talking for five minutes to a friend is legitimate and should not be considered as a waste of time. In your Performance sheet, write down the things that make you proud of you today and that makes the day worth remembering. Also write down the things that you did not do as a past of your give-up goal. Such as 'didn't loose temper' especially if you are working on self-control or 'smoked eight cigarettes in place of usual ten', are no mean achievement in themselves. Also write down the activities that you could not do or complete. Analyze the reason for it. It may be due to procrastination. Or, it is possible that your other activities took more time then you had planned not leaving time for this one. Possibly you could not complete it because of unexpected circumstances. These are the activities that you will incorporate in the next day's plan. 6.4. Planning the Next Day

Now that you are wiser by one more day, your next day's plan will be a better one. As the time passes, you will find that you are getting better and better in planning, and you will always have some time left for yourself in the end of the day. You will be achieving more. You have to plan the next day exactly the same way you had planned today. Only you will incorporate the pending activities in the next day's schedule. You may also make some changes in the activities that you had planned in the week. May be you could add some more desirable activities in the weekly plan or may be strike out some if required. If you see that you are left with too much time you may consider incorporating another goal and start working on it. 6.5. AfterAfter-word

Like rest of the things this will also require committed and persistent action. Doing this may feel a little strange in the beginning. But do it anyway. As you will see yourself achieving, your self-image will improve. You will feel good about yourself and will allow yourself to enjoy life more. Since, you would be taking control of your life; you will get peace of mind, a sense of security and feel more hopeful. And let me tell you this won't take long to feel that. Maximum that it will take is three weeks, provided you do it with discipline. And the feeling will so exhilarating that you will continue doing it for rest of the life. This does not mean that there will be no challenges or frustrating situations. There always will be. Some of them will be within your control and some not. In the next section we are dealing with these Enemies of your Goals

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7. PROCRASTINATION Procrastination I believe is the enemy no. 1 of your goals and all the rewards that you so naturally deserve. I can say it with complete authority as I had been a master procrastinator myself for a considerable period of my life. Procrastination is the habit of keep on delaying your action often indefinitely. How many times you have heard yourself saying that you will do something tomorrow, and somehow that tomorrow never comes. WITHPROCRASTINATION - THE ENEMY WITH-IN

"Fear melts when you take action towards a goal you really want."
- Robert G Allen

"The major reason for setting a goal is for what it makes of you to accomplish it. What it makes of you will always be the far greater value than what you get."
- Jim Rohn

"The future you see is the future you get."

- Robert G Allen I has sailed enough in the same boat. As a result, I not only lost precious time, but also a number of good opportunities. The habit of procrastination, robbed me my chances of earning more money, building on important relationships and all the happiness that could have been mine. This also resulted in poor health, lack of peace and security, fewer friends which often led to hopeless situations. As I decided to take control of my life, I realized that one major work on my personality was to replace my habit of procrastination. Why I use the word replace is because, you can not change a habit, but you can replace a bad habit with a good one. In order to something about it I analyzed the reasons that made me procrastinate, since, I new that if I have to change something I have to work on the roots of the problem. Later, my research in this area showed that for most of the people the reasons for procrastination are same as me. Here are the reasons that made me procrastinate: Waiting for right mood or time Fear such as Fear of failure, Fear of Ridicule, Fear of Rejection, etc Perfectionism Unable to set my priorities right

ARE THEY TRUE FOR YOU TOO? If yes, read on how I overcame this habit. It worked for me; it will work for you as well. After all it is the biggest enemy standing between you and your success. 7.1. Recognize that you are procrastinating

The first step to do something about any problem is to recognize that the problem exits. If the things are not happening the way they should; if you are not achieving the way you want to; if you never seem to finish your assignments on time; or feel rushed just before the deadline; you are making plans after plans but, never taking action on them; then please look into yourself. Chances are that you too suffer from the habit of procrastination.
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Take a sheet of paper NOW and make a list of things that you have been thinking of doing, but have not done it so far. Just make a list and do it NOW 7.2. Identify the reason that is making you procrastinate

For each of the thing that you have written down on your list there may be one or more of the above reasons that is making you procrastinate. It is possible that you couldn't just get around doing it, i.e. you are still waiting for the right mood and time, or that there are other things that are taking priority. May be there is some kind of fear in your mind or you simply think that you will not be able to do it very well (perfectionism). However, chances are that you had been plain lazy. It could be any one of these or may be a combination. I know it and understand you. After all I was also there once upon a time. 7.3. Getting over it

Identifying the cause of the problem is often half the problems solved. Here, I am trying to give you some very practical ways to fight with your internal enemy that is preventing you from reaching your goal. waiting 7.3.1. If you keep on waiting for the right mood or time This is perhaps the single largest reason for procrastinating. Rather than calling a reason I must call it an excuse. 'Oh, I am feeling too tired today'; ' It is already late today'; ' Let me get refreshed a bit by watching TV'; these are the kind of excuses, I used to make for not doing something. May be you do it too, using some different words. This happens as the task that you have to do is either not very pleasant to you. We are always having the mood and find time to do things that we enjoy doing or find pleasant. In order to do things that you do not find interesting or unpleasant do the following two things 7.3.2. If you it is fear that is stopping you: There are some tasks that evoke within us some kind of fear. These are the task that we have to accomplish by going out side our comfort zone. The only possible way of removing fear is by taking action. (See Power of Action) Once you have understood that something has to be done, close your mind, stop thinking and just do it. The more you think, the mental monster of fear will grow bigger and you will procrastinate even more. Bravery is not absence of fear but doing something in-spite of fear. I know it is easier said then done. Here is the technique that will help you. Ask yourself that what you will do if you are not afraid. Visualize yourself being brave. And act as if you are brave. You can also use positive self talk to remove fear. These are powerful techniques that can help you remove any challenge originating in your mind. To learn about positive visualization and self talk click here. Perfectionism: 7.3.3. Perfectionism: Give yourself a break. No body is perfect. This is just another kind of fear; the fear of not being able to do things properly resulting to ridicule. People will procrastinate doing things thinking that they do not enough experience, knowledge or skill to do something. Yes knowledge and skill is important, but that can be acquired. Experience is something that we acquire as we do something. My work involves a lot of writing. If I start by thinking that I will write a perfect article, I will never be able to write anything. So, what I do. I just start writing. And then, may be to make it better I re-write, may be several times, till I get satisfactory results. So, perfection is not something you start with, but it is something that you achieve by taking persistent action and practice. So, don't aim at perfection, but at simply doing it. 7.3.4. If you are unable to prioritize your activities:
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Have you ever noticed that how you suddenly start tidying your drawer or your house when in fact you must be doing something else? Routine tasks takes most of your time, and you are left with no time for doing things that can take you forward towards your goal? You start surfing the net to find something useful and then you just spend too much time on it. You switch on television to catch on headlines than watch it for hours. This is nothing but your mind seeking for excuses for procrastinating doing something, mostly because you are either not in right mood or due to certain fears. Yes, routine task are important, but they should not become your excuse for doing something more important. The best way I have discovered is to use the tools that I have provided in the section 'Goal Oriented DayEveryday'. Once you have a daily schedule ready in which you have allotted time for both your routine task and the goal oriented tasks, you will have already planned out your priorities and will simply go by it, without thinking. Since, you will be following your day's achievements by using 'Daily Performance Sheet,' you will create the accountability for yourself that will keep you away from procrastinating. If you use the techniques and tools that I have suggested in these sections I assure you abundance in every field of your life.

8. HANDLING ROAD BLOCKS The journey of life is not a smooth one. Nor it is cent percent predictable. Situations more than often will not turn out to be the way we want them to. We set goals, and do our best to achieve them. But some times we are stuck. Things happen that we had never expected. Obstructions come from no where and all our plans go down the drain. There are rejections, heartbreaks, roadblocks, dead-ends and failures that can leave us shocked, frustrated and disappointed. It may make us feel negative about our goals and we may give up pursuing them any further. But that is the point. There is no one who does not have problems or challenges in life. The difference between achievers and non-achievers is that achievers achieve in-spite of their challenges. Successful people set goals but are fully aware of the fact that their will be roadblocks. They do not allow the roadblocks to bother them. They simply take a different route and reach were they want to reach. You can do it too if you train yourself to handle these roadblocks. 8.1. Have Faith

In face of obstructions just keep faith. Keep it in mind that whatever happens is as per the master plan that is prepared by someone above us. (We normally call it the God). Faith is known to move mountains. So when you walk in faith, you handover all your challenges to a power that is bigger and capable to take care of all your needs. Submitting to the higher consciousness and having faith in it takes a lot of worry from your shoulders. It will help you to focus and concentrate on what you can control rather than what you can not. It will help you to respond to the situations rather than react to them. Faith will help you to keep moving and as you keep moving you will see that many a obstructions will melt away or give way. To fully understand the Power of Faith and develop it, click here. 8.2. Know That Delay Never Means Defeat

Challenges, Obstacles, and roadblocks have the capacity to delay us. But delay never means defeat. You can loose only if your turn back and quit. As long as you are persevering in faith you have not lost. So, do not accept defeat and give up. Rest if you must but don't quit. You are not in competition with any one else, so don't despair. Work

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on the challenges, remove the roadblocks and then continue your journey. Just keep in mind success is nothing but overcoming challenges. 8.3. Try Different Strategy

You are driving to your destination, when you find that the road is blocked for repairs. What do you do? Simple, you go back a little if required and take a diversion. This is what you do with your goals. If one strategy does not work, try out a different strategy. There are challenges that you had not anticipated earlier. So, make a fresh action plan keeping in consideration the new challenges. Just keep in mind that there are more than one ways to your destination. 8.4. Keep Patience and Procrastinate Positively

Every time things won't work out your way. There will be unforeseen circumstances that can be trying. Pressing the panic button will only create stress and restlessness. Circumstances may force you to change your priorities. If you suddenly develop a health challenge then of course health will be your priority. Similarly if you have financial challenges, you will have to solve it first before you can move ahead with your other plans. In such situations you need to keep patience with your other goals and willfully postpone them. This is known as Positive Procrastination. It is true that goals have deadlines but they have to be kept flexible so that you can positively respond to situations. When faced with challenges and delays you do not change your goals but simply set a new deadline that is more conducive to the current situation. 8.5. Rework Your Goals

Sometimes as you move ahead in life and your priorities changes, there will be number of goals that may loose their relevance. Pursuing such goals that have lost relevance will not make you happy or feel successful. On the contrary you may waste your time, and creating unnecessary stress that will create roadblocks towards achieving your more worth while goals. So, periodically, review your goals. Add new goals, make new action plans for the existing goals and delete the ones that you no longer find relevant. For this you can use the various tools and techniques described in this section of goal setting. HERE IS TO YOUR LIFE AND SUCCESS!!!!

God Bless You

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9. POWER OF FAITH You have a dream, a big dream, but nothing seems to be happening. You are not taking any action to fulfill it. There seem to be too many obstacles, too many things that are not right. You are getting easily de-motivated, and you may dump your dream. If this is your story then, you are not aware of the Power of Faith. Faith is one of the most important Success Principle. If dreams were rocket, faith would have been the fuel. If dreams were gadgets, faith would be the electricity that powers them. You can not see electricity, but you know it is there. All you have to do is switch it on. And hey presto, your room is filled with light, or your television comes to life. Similarly, once you switch on your Faith, it powers your Dreams and manifests itself into positive action. What is Faith? Many people confuse between faith and belief. But they are distinct from each other.

A belief is a perception of knowing something. The belief can either be big or small. It can be either empowering or limiting. It all depends on what you believe, that in turn is based on your circumstances and experiences and may be on what others have told you. However this is not true with Faith. Dictionary explains Faith as "Belief without any proof." Faith is the state of knowing something even if there is no physical evidence. It is an unshakable belief that does not need any explanation. No answer for faith is required as no question exists.

Confused! Let me explain by giving you examples from daily life. You get up on a taxi. Do you check the driver's license? You just get up and give him your address. That is faith. You buy a ticket and board an Airplane. You are never sure that it will ever reach the destination. Every now and then there is news of planes crash. But you still board it. That is faith. You go to sleep, and plan for the day to come. How can you be so sure that you will get up the next day? But you still go of to sleep believing that you will get up refreshed the next morning. That is faith. You want to see News, or catch on your favorite sport on television. You switch on the power. So many things can go wrong. There may be no electricity, there might be some problem with your TV set, or may be there is no transmission. But do you think about all these. No, you don't. You get popcorn, make yourself comfortable and press the button on the remote control. You are acting in faith. When you fall sick, you go to your family doctor. Now you are out of station and you have to see a different doctor. He prescribes you some medicines. But as soon as you are back home you meet your own doctor, who confirms the line of treatment taken by the other doctor. You suddenly feel good. That is faith again. Like this in daily life we put our faith in so many things, so many people. But why is it that we cannot have faith in our own self, our own Dreams? Life is full of obstacles. We cannot choose most of our circumstances. But we can choose to have faith. Once we have faith, we shall start focusing on what can be done, rather than what is not possible. Obstacles and deviations will stop bothering us. Failures will not matter any more. People around us may be discouraging us, but we shall not give up. We shall in a way become stubborn in pursuit of our dream, till we achieve it.

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When we live in faith we not only have greater momentum toward our goal, we not only streamline our life and are relieved of many inner conflicts, but some amazing transformations in our daily life or career often happens. And that is the power of faith. So it is in the interest of your dream and your success that you need to develop faith. 9.1. DEVELOPING FAITH

Why do we have faith in small things in life? It is because, we have learned it and developed it over a period of time. But, no one has taught us to how to have faith in bigger things. As we are children, we learn things by imitating our elders. Unfortunately, since, they lack faith, we do not develop it. The children of parents who have strong faith do not need to work on developing it. For them it comes naturally. However, not many are this lucky. Even the schools are doing a poor task of developing faith. The world around us is also naturally negative, that tells us that how useless we are. And we believe it. So the onus of developing faith lies entirely on us and we better do it as it is our life. Here are the techniques that can get you started. But remember it is on you to feed your faith so that it grows bigger than the mountain that stands between you and your success. Consciousness: 9.1.1. Accept the existence of Higher Consciousness: This is the first step towards developing faith. As humans, we are conscious beings. But there exists a consciousness higher than ours. It is usually known as the God. You may call it anything, it is on you. But I still feel that it is more effective to call it the God, as we are taught to believe in it as creator. I am not talking religion here. I am simply talking about a name given to the Higher Consciousness on which you can depend. Accept it and believe in it. After all we talking about faith aren't we? 9.1.2. Believe that the Higher Consciousness is powerful: Once you have accepted it and named it (I am still calling it God), now is the time to believe that it is powerful and always with you. It is said that God plus one is majority. So, if you believe that God is with you, you are already in majority. Also know that it is God who has bestowed you with a gift of Dream. God wouldn't have given you something that you can not handle. So, whatever be the circumstances you can always turn to God (or higher consciousness) for help. 9.1.3. Communicate with Higher Consciousness: People call it prayer. I call it talking to God. Yes you can talk to God. You ask and it will be fulfilled. But first ask. Here, you will ask me, that there are so many people who pray, but their prayers are never answered. Yes it is true. There are two reasons for it: 1. Most people do not know how to pray. Their prayer lacks faith. More often, they will challenge God, by saying "If you exists, let my prayer be answered." In this form of prayer the basic premise of existence of higher consciousness is doubted, so there is no question of faith. Remember, Faith never asks for proof. 2. The favors asked for in the prayer are not in the line of the will of Higher Consciousness. Either it may not be good in someway, (people are not aware of it), or God is saying 'No' to a smaller thing, as it wants you to have bigger things. It is same as a mother says no to chocolates to her child, as she wants her child to have stronger teeth with which it can enjoy other things. So, first you have to learn the correct method of praying. Here I am giving you a guideline that may be helpful, but you are free to develop your own:

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1. Close your eyes. This will help you to concentrate and overcome distraction. Once you master the art of praying you will not have to close your eyes, but you will be able to pray effectively even while driving. 2. Concentrate on the higher consciousness. If you want to give it a shape, a definitive form, go ahead. But feel that it is there near you. Believe that it can listen to you. 3. Go into submission. This is the most essential part. I have dedicated one entire portion of this site on the Power of Submission. Submission is unconditional surrender to someone. You surrender to the higher consciousness, while praying. You simply accept its authority. 4. Dare to ask. Your God is big enough to provide you with what ever you want. Believe in this in the way a child believes in her parents. So ask, for faith, ask for strength, and ask for success. But remember that your prayer will only be answered if what you have asked for will cause no harm. Tell God that you know that even if your prayer is not answered you know that you are eligible for bigger and better blessings. This is a final affirmation of your faith. 5. Visualize your prayers being answered. Imagine that you have received what you have asked for. There is power in visualization (I have covered it in Power of Positive Visualization). 6. Thank God (the higher consciousness) as if your prayers have been already.

9.1.4. Feed your Faith: Your faith is reinforced when it is fed. And how you feed it? You feed it with positive testimonies of other people. When you hear or read the positive results that other people have received, your faith gets stronger. That is why church has the tradition of testimonies as it gives people an opportunity to be thankful as well as help others by feeding their faith. If there are no people around you who are in habit of testifying, read books and other materials. There are a number of books you can buy on Amazon.com that helps you to feed your faith. Another way of feeding your faith is by talking about it to others. Speak about it as if your faith has already performed the miracles. And you will see the magic. More is discussed about it in the section Success Programming. 9.1.5. Translate the faith in Higher Consciousness into faith for self: Once you have developed faith in higher consciousness and its authority you will have no problem in translating it for faith in your own self. Now that you know that God is on your side, and that your dreams, aspiration is all as per the will of this higher consciousness, you will automatically develop faith in your self. However, there may be one obstacle here that many of us face. And that is a poor self image. If the way we see ourselves is poor, we can not have faith in ourselves. We can not see ourselves as a deserving candidate to receive the benefits from higher consciousness, and actually we don't. So, we need to work on this part of our personality that has been dealt with in Section for Self Image.

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10. POWER OF SUBMISSION Submission is one of the most misunderstood words in English. Submission is often perceived as opposite of domination. Submission for most of the people simply means surrender to somebody's authority, where one looses even ones identity. We are NOT talking of that kind of submission. Let me explain with an example. You are listening to a concert. But more than listening you are involved with yourself. Will you be able to enjoy the music? Obviously not! So what you do, you loose yourself in the music. You let yourself flow with the notes. You go where the musician wants to take you take, high and low, high and low. You are in complete receptive mood. In other words you submit to the musician in order to fully appreciate his music. This is the kind of submission we are talking about. In order to be truly successful in life you must master the art of submission. The lessons in submission begin when we are very young. As children we submit to our parent and teachers. But as we grow up, our ego becomes more important. It is only ourselves, our ideas, our point of view that become all important and we never really give ourselves the opportunity to discover the true power of submission. In our daily life we willingly or unwillingly submit to a number of people such as our bosses (who at times knows less than us), bullies, dominant figure at home, law of the land and people enforcing it, etc. Here we are telling you that how the power of submission can be unleashed to make you successful in life. This is how the Power of submission helps you: 10.1. Submission helps you to develop faith:

The first and the most important form of submission is submission to the Higher Consciousness commonly known as God. In order to develop faith in self, we first need to have faith in the Higher Consciousness. (Refer to Power of Faith). Faith is important to protect our dreams of success from the negative influence that life and this world might have. Once we accept the authority of God, or go into submission to Higher Consciousness all doubts simply vanishes as our faith become stronger and we feel safe in the care of the Almighty. 10.2. Submission helps you to remain teachable

Teachable is a person who can be taught, or who is willing to learn. This universe is full of untold wisdom. Successful people draw from this vast expense of wisdom. However, it is not possible for a single person to have all of it. If you want to grow in you life you need to keep on learning from people who are more knowledgeable than you in certain areas. They are people who can hold your hand and take you on the path of higher level of understanding. You may be lucky enough to find mentors who will personally coach you, or you may find mentorship in books or maybe in a website like this one. These mentors may at times be younger to you, may be less educated to you, but have for some reason got a richer experience in the particular area. However, you can not learn from them unless you are ready to forget your ego and go into submission to them, irrespective of their age, sex, bearing or education. You will observe that successful people are usually very learned and have knowledge encompassing various things because they submit to a number of other people who are ready to share their expertise or wisdom with them. Then they utilize this knowledge to harness greater powers to achieve and accomplish more. 10.3. Submission makes you a better leader

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Successful people are leaders and leaders have followers. As a leader you will need to submit to your followers. Strange, but true! Jesus was one of the greatest leaders gifted to mankind, so was Prophet Mohammad, Gautam Buddha Guru Nanak. Their greatness lied not only in their submission to God, but the submission to their followers. They always thought of the people before themselves. They had submitted themselves to the needs of the people of this earth. That is why they scaled such heights of greatness, that today we revere them. So, if you want to be leader, you need to submit to the people for whom you are responsible. Submit to there needs, their happiness, forgetting your own ego and in turn they will put you on pedestal. Please remember submission to people whom you can help and rendering them service is another form of submission to the higher consciousness and one of the main purposes we have been put on this earth. discharge 10.4. Submission helps you to discharge your family responsibilities in a better way A successful person is successful in every sphere of life. If you amass great wealth, and reverence of people, but your family life is in shambles, you are not truly successful. If you want to be a better spouse and keep your wife or husband (whatever be the case) happier, submit to them. If you wish to be a better parent submit to your children. If you want to be a better friend submit to your friends. This does not mean that you will allow the other person to dominate you. (I hope you remember we are not talking of submission that is opposite to domination.) It simply means that you feel responsible for them and render them service from the role that has been assigned to you in the same way you will provide service to God. And true service is not possible without the feeling of submission. Husband loves is wife and the wife her husband. They together love their children. And love itself is highest form of submission as love believes in giving without expecting anything in return. 10.5. Submission makes you powerful Submission is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength. A person who knows the true power of submission and practices it automatically assumes a position of power. A leader is powerful because he has submitted to another leader (or at the highest God). People will not follow you but your vision, your dream. And submitting to ones dreams is another way of submitting to God or Higher Consciousness as that is the one who has planted the dream in our mind. A lover has power over other; a husband has power on wife, and wife on husband; Parents have power over children and children over their parents because they are all submitted to each other in love. 10.6. Finally a word of caution about submission Submission is a powerful tool. But be careful when you are submitting as to whom you are doing it. Avoid submitting to unscrupulous people, or those who wants to take advantage of you. They may bring harm to you. So, when submitting follow your heart. Choose your mentors and teachers wisely. Submit to following for success: - God - Mentors and true teachers who are willing to teach without selfish motive - Your family, (they deserves it.) - Your welwishes who do not want any thing in return - People who are dependent on you (they are the people you serve).

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11. POWER OF UNITY You must have remembered the story from your childhood, where an old man was worried about his sons who were always quarreling among themselves. In order to teach them a lesson he ask them to break a bundle of sticks tied together. Obviously none of them could. And when the bundle was untied they were able to break each stick easily enough. The power of unity is known to all of us. But we often seem to forget it when it comes to individual success. This is unfortunate that most of us consider our success as a personal property, and others are not involved in it. Dr. John Maxwell, one of the greatest inspirational authors of our times, in his book 'Success Journey' says that success is not a trip that you take alone. But it is something that you take with your family and your friends. Think about it, if at the end of all the achievements, all the accomplishments, you find yourself alone, will you call it success in real sense? This is why, even your dream and your success does not belong to you alone. Even though you work hard towards your dream, there are people who are working behind the scene to make sure that you are able to give your hundred percent. Want examples, I will give you some. You are studying in school so that you can have good education; your parents are slogging to pay for the fee and provide for you. You are working hard at your office. It is the question of your career; your spouse back home frees you of petty domestic problems so that you can give your hundred percent. You missed your child's birthday party as you were busy in an important business meeting. It was very important for the child, but she still smiles and hugs you. Do you think that it is possible without unity? Don't you feel that these people are doing their bit so that YOU can be successful? And so, unity plays an important role, even if we are talking about your personal success. So, it is your responsibility to maintain unity if you really wish to be a success in life. But there is unity with someone else as well that will play a much bigger role. It is so because this someone else is a mysterious partner in your success. Who is this mysterious partner? The dream that has taken seed in your mind is a manifestation of your purpose in life. You have been sent on this earth to fulfill that particular purpose by one an only God. Now when the purpose of your life and the dream is given by the God (or Higher Consciousness), don't you think that it is your biggest ally and partner in your success. If you open any religious scripture (though this site does not subscribe to any particular religion), you will find that the unity with God is always stressed upon. It is said that God plus one is majority. So, even if during the pursuit of your dream, you find yourself lonely (and you just might), you still have the support of the Almighty, only if you are united with him. How do you unite with this Higher Consciousness? Simple, by having faith and submitting to it. I have discussed about it in details in Power of Faith & Power of Submission. Once you unite with God, your success does not remain your responsibility anymore, but become that of God itself. It is on him now to see that you succeed in accomplishing your mission of life. And nothing is big enough for God. So multiply your potential and insure your success by unleashing the Power of Unity. Unity with God. Always remember God plus one is majority.
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Unity with your family. They will stand by you whenever you need them. Unity with Mentors, Teachers. They always want the best for you. Unity with friends. They are always there to support you.

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12. POWER OF POSITIVE ATTITUDE I am convinced that Success is nothing but an Attitude. In fact this entire site, not only this section speaks of only one thing and that is Attitude. Winning is a matter of attitude; Your self image is a matter of attitude; Your Dream and your conviction and commitment to it, is a matter of attitude, Your faith is a matter of attitude; Achieving goals is a matter of attitude, Your relationships are a matter of attitude, your financial success is again a matter of attitude. So, it is better to have a positive attitude rather than have a negative one. A study made at Harvard University proved that 85% of your success depends on your attitude and rest 15% on your technical aptitude. But what do we do. We spend 90% of our efforts to improve our aptitude; we learn facts, figures, and formulas. But we spend only 10% (and sometimes not even that) to acquire the right attitude; that incidentally contributes to more significant part of our success. The good news is that you are not stuck up with the attitude you have, you can always improve it. The bad news is that even positive attitude is not permanent. You may loose it. Nothing is permanent in life. And so is not the kind of attitude we have. If your attitude is not getting you what you want you can always change it. You only need to decide and commit to bring the change and have faith in yourself. "If you want to change something in life, you need to change something." But if you have the positive attitude, how can you be so sure that it will remain that way. This world and the challenges that it presents, at times puts you down and de-motivates you. So, it is important to keep your mental attitude positive so that you can come up again. "Positive Attitude is something that makes you feel good, when in real you are feeling bad." Anyone can remain enthusiastic and excited when things go well, everything happens as you have planned. But, if things start going wrong and you are presented with obstructions, failures, de-motivating situations, it is then I want to ask you, how you are feeling? Are you still excited? Everyone has a good attitude when he/she is on the top of the hill. But, the real test of your strength of character, your personality and attitude is when you are down there in the valley. When life presents itself with its numerous challenges, we feel down and loose faith in our abilities. This is the time when Positive Attitude, brings you out, it reaffirms your faith, changes your focus, and ones again puts you back on the road that takes you towards your success. So, it pays to develop a Positive Attitude and maintain it. In the following pages of this section of the site we have discussed some effective strategies and techniques that can help you to develop a winning attitude and insure it.

12.1.

DEVELOPING POSITIVE ATTITUDE

Warning: Some of the techniques prescribed over here may appear strange and different. It may even appear juvenile to a few. But, then if you wish to move away from the masses and achieve more than what an average person does, you will have do things that masses don't.

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I promise that if you practice these techniques for only 21 days there will be visible change in you and your personality. A good attitude will become a habit. And as you change you will see that people's attitude has changed towards you. People around you will start looking up to you. True, a few of them may laugh, and that is a good sign. When Edison was making light bulb, people laughed. They also laughed when Wright brothers were working on their flying machine, or when Graham Bell made the first telephone call, or when Bill Gates started Microsoft. But in the end there was entire population cheering for them. Whenever you do something right the small world laughs, but the big world is there waiting to cheer you. One difficulty you may face in practicing these techniques, are due to the fact that you may have to do certain things and say things that are contrary to the way you actually feel. It is proved scientifically that action and feeling are mutually inter-dependent. One can change the other. Actually our mind is conditioned for us to respond to our feelings. So, what we do is that when we feel negative, we act and talk negative. But if you consciously act and talk positive, you will start feeling positive. And that is exactly is the underlying principle of these techniques. 12.1.1. Develop an Attitude of Enthusiasm Enthusiasm is one of the most important ammunition in your attitude arsenal. If you observe carefully you will see that all the super achievers in life a primarily enthusiastic people. Here I am giving you a few techniques that you can practice to develop an enthusiastic attitude and personality. Change the way you get up in the morning The way you get up in the morning, will largely determine how you will be for the rest of your day. Most, when they hear the alarm in the morning, curse the alarm clock (as if the poor clock was conspiring with the devil to wake you up). Then they reluctantly get out of the bed, go to the bathroom, look at the mirror, and say to themselves, "How awful I look!" If this is the way you begin guess, how you are going to feel for the entire day? So next time, as soon as the alarm rings, jump out of the bed and open the curtains, and greet the day. Say it loud "Hello world, I am so happy to be here, and it is going to be great day." Don't judge the day by weather. Your feeling grumpy about the weather and complaining about it is not going to make it good anyway. So irrespective of the weather you say that it is going to be a great day. When you see yourself in the mirror, you smile at yourself and say "You look funny man, but this is your day, and you are going to be a successful man/woman today." It will be difficult to do it initially. But do it anyway. You may even feel silly and funny. But that is the point. By changing the way you get out of the bed you are taking a big step towards changing your attitude. Sing in the shower Singing is one of the most effective ways known to mankind to express emotions. You do not sing because you are happy. You are happy because you sing. So sing whenever you can. Sing happy songs that are full of energy and enthusiasm, and sing them at top of your voice. (That is why I advise you to sing in the shower, especially if you are a terrible singer like me). You may ask me that how singing at the top of the voice can help you. First at the top of your voice you can only sing songs that have energy. The energy of the song transfers to you and energies you mentally. Second you can not feel negative at top of your voice

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Greet people properly Enthusiasm is like flu. It catches. So, whenever and wherever, you meet people greet them enthusiastically. They may be your colleague, your boss, your subordinate, the waiter in the restaurant, the doorman, the person sitting next to you in the bus, your friend, whoever. Usually when people are asked "How are you?" they say I am fine; so-so; Ok; not so fine; etc. Change it. Next time a person asks how you are, say with lot of enthusiasm "I feel great or Super good, but I am improving." Even when you answer your telephone do it with enthusiasm. People all over have problems that are bogging them. When you greet them with enthusiasm they for a moment forget their problems and feel good about themselves. I had a boss in one of my earlier jobs. This gentleman is a retired Brigadier. Even today whenever I feel little gloomy, I call him. The way he picks up the phone makes my day. His voice is loud and clear, as if he is so happy that someone called as he says' "Good Morning Son! It is great to hear your voice." When you bring enthusiasm in the way you greet, you radiate positive energy. The other people around you also get affected by it and that creates a positive environment. So, what you are actually doing is that whenever you are meeting people and greeting them with enthusiasm you are creating a positive environment for yourself, and that in turn ensures that you remain positive. Work with enthusiasm There is no work that is big or small. Each one has its own importance. It is just the way you look at it. What matters is your attitude towards the work you are doing. This anecdote explains it. On a construction site, three manual labors were asked what they were doing. One said that he was earning the days wage; other said that he is mixing cement and sand. The third however, said happily that he is building home for people to live in. He did not stop at that, as he enthusiastically proceeded to show where will be the sitting room, the bedrooms, kitchen etc. Now, it is anybodies guess that even though all the three were doing the same work, who was happier and more successful. That is why I say that success is a matter of attitude. So, whatever be the work, easy or difficult, small or big, do it with same enthusiasm. 12.1.2. Be a Good Finder One of the most valuable attribute that I have found in successful people is that they are good finders. They will find something good in anybody. Every person born on this earth has something in them that is good and something not so good. We like a person or dislike him for the side that we have experienced. Somebody's greatest friend is someone else's arch enemy. No one can be totally good or totally bad. What we usually do is focus on the negative sides of people. We condemn, criticize and complaint. Even we do it with people who are closest to us. We will spend a lifetime trying to change our parents, our spouse, and our friends. We often get depressed because of the bad things in their character. But it will be so much easier and better if we just focus on the good things they have. If ever you have to confront the unlikable side of these people, immediately remind yourself that why you like them or love them. And then you see how much positive you will feel. People respond to the expectations. There was an experiment, in which three set of students were used. The teachers were told that the first set consisted of brilliant students, the second mediocre and the third below average. And guess what happened? In the end the first set of students performed brilliantly well, the second were average, and the third's performance was poor.
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The best part in the experiment was that though teachers were given some notions about these three different sets of students, they were students of same IQ. The difference was in the way their teacher looked at them, and expected from them, and they responded to the expectations. One person, who is ineffective with one particular boss, suddenly becomes a super performer with other one and vise-versa. The difference is how different bosses look at this particular person. If you wish to develop a good positive attitude about people, and want to influence them positively be a Good Finder. 12.1.3. Change the way you react to situations Situations at times are very challenging. They can even be oppressing. Things will often not go as we want them to go. There will be circumstances that we can not control. But what we can control is our reaction to these circumstances. No problems; only challenges The first thing that we need to change is our vocabulary. There are no problems, only challenges. The greatest benefit of this simple change is that once a problem become a challenge your attitude towards the same circumstance changes. It is the human nature that we try to avoid problems but accept challenges. So, if there are no problems, and only challenges, you will use your ability to confront it and solve it. There are no hopeless situations Secondly keep one important fact in mind that it is we, who loose our hope in the face of difficult situations. But in reality, there are a very few situations that are in fact hopeless. So, keep hope that the circumstances and situations however grim they may look can be changed. The answer to a problem is outside it During my seminars I draw a black dot on a white board and ask the participants what they see. Almost everyone says that they see a black dot. It is only when I draw their attention that they can see the white board, the wall, the clock hanging on wall. Because, I have drawn a dot they see the dot. This is exactly the way we see our problems. We focus on the problems rather than on the answers that lies outside the problem. So take your focus away from the problem and start thinking of the possibilities. challenge Be thankful for the challenge Thank God that you have challenges. Show me a person who does not have challenges, and I will show you a dead man. Challenges are good for us, as each one of them strengthens our shoulders for bigger responsibilities that are brought by greater blessings. We grow the most when we are down rather than when we are up. It is during the difficult circumstances that we stretch our abilities and grow towards our potential. After all we are successful only when we are overcoming challenges and growing towards our potential. So thank God for challenges that you have because it means that you are about to be blessed with bigger things in life. Schedule your down time This is again a magic formula from great Zig Ziglar. There will be circumstances that will really pull you down. You will feel negative, hopeless, and down. And believe me; you have every right to feel like that once in a while. It is a luxury that you are entitled to. As a human being you are not expected to be positive all the time.
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But then there has to be a time when you have to pull yourself up and face the situation. So decide on the time till when you will be down. It could be a few hours, a few days or weeks. It depends on the magnitude of the situation and the time that you want to give yourself. You must set the precise date and the time when you are going to stop feeling down and get up. You will see that more number of times you will get positive again and start facing the situation head on much before your scheduled time. I don't know how it works, but it does and is worth it. 12.1.4. Protect your mind and feed it The human mind is a miracle. Nothing is more fertile than the human mind. If we analyze, when we are having food (we spend a lot of money on good food), which part of the body are we feeding. We are in fact feeding our body neck down. Think what we can do best with this part of body. At best we can do manual labor. And how much can we earn doing manual labor? Now lets talk about the part of body that is above the neck. What is the potential of this part? The answer is, unlimited. But do we ever feed it? The human mind is like a fertile piece of land. Whatever seeds you put in, you harvest that crop. If you put in garbage, garbage will come out. What do we put into this mind the entire day? We read newspaper or watch news on television. There are more negative news then positive ones. No one will buy a newspaper if it was only telling good things. More negative the news is, more sensational it becomes, and we find ourselves and everyone else discussing it the entire day. So, what is going in our mind? We watch soaps on television. We somehow identify ourselves with the characters in these soaps as they have the same set of problems we have. The producers of these soaps know it. That is why we see that nothing good really happens in these serial soaps. Every time the characters are in some problems and we get hooked on to it hoping that there problem will get solved in next episode. As if solving there problems will solve ours. Then there are people around us who are busy telling us that how bad this world is; how incapable we are; how bad our government is; why can't we do particular thing etc. And over and above we have to face our own sets of challenges that can be pretty intimidating in their own right. So, what will be there in our mind at the end of the day? Whatever it is, it can not be positive and enthusiastic. So, we need to protect our mind and feed it with positive. We have to make an effort to do it. Any thing positive requires effort. Negative is automatic. If you want to grow food grains and vegetables, you will have to till the land, buy seeds, sow them, water the fields, add fertilizers, take care of the crop and then harvest it. But do you need to do anything for weeds. They just grow on there own. Protect your mind from negative influence Your attitude is your responsibility. Hence, the fist step is to protect it from negative influence. Use a supermarket approach, when reading newspaper. Read it as it is important to remain aware of the world around . But do not focus on the negative. And most important, do not discuss it. What happens is that when you discuss it, the negative aspects of the news get reinforced in your mind destroying your attitude. As far as television soaps are concerned, avoid them. Choose wisely the programs you watch. Keep away from people who are negative. And even if you have to interact with a few of them, give them a dose of your positive talk. They may not agree with it, but at least this positive talk will nullify the ill affect these people have on your attitude. Develop positive association

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What is the best way of catching a cold? Be around a person who has it. So, what is the best way of remaining positive? Be around positive people. Develop association with people who are dreamers, have strong faith, who are progressing in their lives. There attitude will surely brush on to you. These people will respect your dream, reinforce your faith, and motivate you to achieve. One of the best ways of developing this kind of association is at training seminars, where you will find only those people who are seeking to grow. Develop long term friendship with such people. They will be your greatest assets. positive Listen to powerful positive recordings You have already understood that during your journey to success you will face rejections, and will be affected by negative influences. So we need to give a constant dose of positive, to keep negativity out. Recording of powerful inspirational speakers is one of the purest forms of positive association. The best part with these recordings is that you need not invest extra time in it. You can listen to it when you are doing your morning chores, or cooking, or, driving your car, or commuting in public transport. These recording will keep you motivated and keep your attitude positive in face of all the rejection and negative influence that you may face during the course of the day. Listen to a recording for at least half an hour. They are easily available at amazon.com. In order to get complete benefit of each recording you must listen to each one of them at least 16 times. Every time you listen to the same recording you will get to learn something new that you missed out the last time. Listening to these recording will stimulate your mind and increase your enthusiasm and productivity thus taking you towards your goals on a fast track mode Read Positive Mental Attitude Books Develop the habit of reading. Read only for fifteen minutes. When you are reading you in fact get into a conversation with your inner-self and get ideas. You are motivated to take important decisions based on these ideas, and the more you read these decisions become commitments. The more knowledge you gain, more positive you become. You discover your hidden potentials. Good books can be your friend for a life time. God Bless you!!!

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13. POWER OF VALUES Values are what you believe in. Most people have a sense of what they believe. Even if they don't realize it, they have a set of values that they live by. These values are generally imbibed into our subconscious as we grow up through our family, and the society we live in. But they can also be practiced consciously till they become a part of our personality. We are what our values are. They are the building blocks of our personality. Values, since they are beliefs can be empowering or limiting. Successful people attach lot of value to their values. In absence of these values none of the other success principles really work. Here we are listing some of the major values that you need to have in order to get what you want in life. 13.1. The Value of Accountability and dependability:

Accountability means willingness to accept responsibility of your own-self and that of your actions. Dependability is the reliability of a person on you because you are accountable. A person who is accountable will take responsibility of his dream, his success and for his actions. He will never blame others, or make excuses if the things are not right. Here is a wonderful anecdote on accountability a person has towards oneself. Once Abraham Lincoln while conducting interviews for position in white house rejected a candidate. When he was asked by his secretary that why he rejected that candidate despite of his qualification the President replied that he didn't like his face. The secretary, astonished asked that no one is responsible for the way he looks. The great leader replied "At age of 40 everyone is responsible for the way he looks." When you are accountable, people will trust you. They will believe in you. They will value your words. Whatever you do in life, you must be accountable and thus dependable. On your personal front you are accountable to your friends for the quality of friendship, you are accountable to you family for the love and care you ought to provide and the duties you perform. Then only they can depend on you. And you will be a successful friend, a successful husband/wife/parent/son/daughter whatever social role you are assuming. As a citizen of the country you live in, you are accountable to the country so that the country can depend on you for your contribution to the society and nation building. In the professional front if you are a businessman you are accountable to your shareholders, employees, your associates and your clients. If you are doctor you are accountable to your patients and the medical community, as an actor you are accountable to your producers, directors, and fans, as an artist you are accountable to the art that you practice and the people who patronize it, as a teacher you are accountable to your students, as a lawyer you are accountable to the legal system, and your clients. So if it is success you are looking for, imbibe accountability and dependability in your value system. 13.2. Value of Commitment

How much value you attach to the promises you make. Here I am not only talking about the promises that you make to others but also to yourselves. There are a lot of people in this world that in spite of having dreams never really make it because of lack of commitment to it. Commitment is a promise that you make to yourself that you will do what you have decided, what ever it takes. You need to have a commitment towards your relationships, your profession, your social duties, your dreams and your success. Commitment is the first step towards becoming accountable and dependable. Sense of commitment is a powerful value as it is the only thing that keeps you going in the face of adversities and helps you to persevere. 13.3. Value of Loyalty

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Loyalty is an important value that goes hand in hand with accountability and commitment. As a leader you will need loyalty of a number of people. It is a give and take world. You can not expect loyalty if you yourself are not loyal. People will be loyal to people who are loyal. Customers are loyal to the salesman who are loyal to their customers' employees are loyal to the organization whose management is loyal to them, family members are loyal to each other, artists become celebrities because of their loyalty for their art. So loyalty begets loyalty. Therefore be loyal. 13.4. Value of Honesty & Integrity Honesty and Integrity are two of the most important values one needs to have to be truly successful in life. In today's world where these two values seem to take back seat, it is becoming increasingly important to make them your allies. You may amass wealth, or gain material benefits by being dishonest or using unscrupulous means, but what you will loose in the process is your self-esteem and peace of mind. You just need to keep your eyes open to witness numerous people who have become wealthy by using dishonest means, but are a walking inventory of physical ailments. It is simply because they have lost peace of mind and that it is manifesting itself in form of these ailments. It is a complete myth that you can not become rich and successful without being dishonest. It is true that it may take a little longer, to gain the material benefits of success by being honest, but ultimately you will be winner as in the process of earning those material things you will not loose your peace and will be able to happily enjoy your success. Please bear in mind that true success is not merely accumulation of wealth but also a state of happiness and wellbeing. As you rise higher in life and assume leadership roles, you are watched by a number of people. When you are honest other people naturally trust you, and they will be willing to associate with you. However honesty is a value that will find its expression even in the smallest way. Once during a training session I was taking with a group of waiters, I asked what honesty means to them. One person who hardly had any school education replied, "I think I am being honest when I am serving water in a glass that is clean." Next day I recommended him to the management for a promotion. 13.5. Value of Courage There is no human being in this world who does not have fear. But you need to face this fear and pursue your dream. Bravery is not absence of fear but, the courage to do something despite of fear. It requires courage to love and to be compassionate. It takes courage to make commitments and be accountable. It requires courage to remain honest and maintain integrity when entire world seems to be against it. It takes courage to believe in your dream and take positive actions to fulfill them when the entire world is laughing at you. Creativity, which is another important value, also requires courage to do something that no one has done earlier. So, understand the value of courage and do what ever it takes to be successful. Self13.6. Value of Self- Discipline Self discipline is the ability to take action regardless of your emotional state. Nothing is ever accomplished only by best intentions. Say you want to loose some weight, so you will have to take some action on it on a regular basis. It may be going for a jog every morning. Now what if, you do not go one day because it is cold outside, the other day because it the only off you got in three weeks, the next because you thought, I will do it from tomorrow and the tomorrow never comes.

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In everything in life you need self discipline. It is only by using this value that you will be able to overcome procrastination, and achieve your goals. Self discipline is like muscle training. The more you practice stronger you become. So start with discipline in small things and then move on to bigger ones. 13.7. Value of Love and Compassion

Jesus is great not because of he is son of God, but because he had love and compassion for all. Mother Teresa became the most successful social worker in the history of mankind because of the love and compassion she had in her heart. True teachers who achieve the heights of greatness is because they feel love and compassion for their students, Leaders win hearts with love and compassion. With love in your heart you can scale new heights. Love and compassion are such wonderful and divine values that change your focus from your own-self to others. When you do something out of love you do not have the go get attitude, but the go give attitude. I once heard a CEO of a manufacturing firm saying that, 'I love all customers so much that I can not imagine making products that are of inferior quality.' Obviously because he loved his customers, they were in turn loyal to his products and made him successful. Zig Ziglar, one of the greatest inspirational speaker and author says that 'You can get everything in life you want, if you help enough other people to get what they want in life.' Obviously you can not help enough other people if you do not have love and compassion in your heart. God Bless You!!!

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14. SELF IMAGE In the section Power of Dreams I said that the size of your success depends on the size of your dreams. How well you act on your dreams and achieve them will depend on the size of your faith. However, I often used to wonder, what dictates the size of the dreams! Why is it that though a lot of people claim to believe in God, but have little faith. It is surprising that there are so many people who are blessed with so much of talent, but they never really achieve anything. Why is it that given a lot of opportunities, some people never do anything about it, whereas, a few make a fortune out of nothing? God, made everybody equal, but we humans have set boundaries for ourselves. o o o o o I am not good enough for this I am not made to be rich I do not have enough brains No body really can love me I am a born looser

I am sure; you have heard people saying it. Maybe, you have been nurturing such self-limiting thoughts yourselves. At least I, plead guilty of it myself. These thoughts are in fact nothing but a product of a poor Self Image. Self Image is the way you see yourself. It does not matter, what others think of you. Self image is what you think of yourself. Most of the people have difficulty in accepting the way they are. You ask people and a majority will say, that they were rather someone else than what they actually are. Self image is a number of self impressions that you have created over time. These impressions may either be positive or negative, depending on your experiences. Whatever you will do in life or achieve will be a direct manifestation of your mental image of your own self. Take the best opportunity to a person with a poor self image, and he will turn it down. Why? Simply because, in his mind he does not see himself capable of succeeding or achieving and so he thinks he is not good enough for the opportunity. There are so many sportsmen, who practice hard, break world records during practice sessions, but never seems to win medals in actual meet. Most people never get to reach the higher salary bracket, even though they have more talent than their colleagues. A lot of people never see themselves succeeding in their relationships, and they actually makes a mess of any relationship they get into. These are all because they see themselves in a poor light. Our action in this material world is often controlled by the frame of references or the impressions that we have in our sub-conscious mind. If our self worth is low the frame of reference is that of self-doubt, fear and failure. Now, whatever is there in our sub-conscious mind, it dictates the decisions that we take consciously. A person suffering for poor self image, with his mind full of doubts, will always be his own judge and jury and castigate himself to a life of mediocrity. On the other hand a person with healthy self image sees himself achieving and succeeding. He is comfortable with himself. He knows that he is good. It does not mean that he has the "I am the greatest" ego. This bloated ego in fact is just another manifestation of poor self image. A healthy self image means that the person accepts whatever he or she is. He accepts his shortcoming and work towards improving them, because he knows that he can succeed in becoming a better individual. A person with healthy self image is happiness personified. He radiates positive energy. It does not mean that he does not have challenges, or the world has been partial with him. It simply means that he accepts challenges, see himself overcoming them, rising above situations and winning. Tiger and the Three Pigs
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selfA fairy tale about painting a positive self portrait and improving self-esteem and building body image by David Leonhardt After years of terrorizing the countryside, hunting deer, poaching livestock, killing game, Tiger grew long in the tooth. Finally, he knew it was time to retire. So he packed his bag: "Poor self-esteem? Check. Poor body image? Check? Poor self-image? Check. Self-portrait? Uh ... oh, well, three out of four ain't bad." Tiger ambled into town and came to stand before the Three Little Pigs Retirement Home Inc. He rang the bell, and the first little pig appeared on the landing above. "What do you want?" asked the little pig. "I come here to retire," Tiger replied. "Ooooh. I don't think so," the little pig declared. "You're not like us. You've got big teeth. Very dangerous. We can't let you in." Tiger, having poor self-image, went to the dentist to improve these apparent deficiencies, and had his teeth removed. The next day, he returned to the Three Little Pigs Retirement Home Inc. "What do you want?" asked the second little pig. "I have no more teeth. I come here to retire," Tiger replied once more. "Ooooh. No, no, no. That just won't do," the little pig exclaimed. "You're different. You have sharp claws. You scare us. We can't let you in." selfNo teeth, no claws, no self-portrait Tiger took his poor self-esteem and even worse body-image to the manicurist and had his claws removed. The next day, he returned to the Three Little Pigs Retirement Home Inc. "What do you want?" demanded the third little pig. "I have no more claws. I come here to retire," Tiger repeated. "Ooooh. Let me see," the little pig muttered as he disappeared from sight. Tiger heard much whispering and commotion behind the big wooden doors. "Okay, come in," said the little pig. Tiger strolled through the doors, and there stood the three little pigs, grinning ear to ear. Suddenly they jumped on Tiger. Squealing with delight, they beat him up and sent him packing. No teeth. No claws. Yippeeee! Finally they got even with Tiger for terrorizing the animals. Tiger should have known better. He should have accepted who he is and not try to conform to someone else's image of him. What tiger in his right mind lets a pig paint his portrait? He should have painted a self-portrait instead. Do you seek to improve your body or your body image? Do you seek to improve your claws or your nails, or do you improve your self-esteem? What do you see when you look in the mirror? So, who paints your portrait? 14.1. MANIFESRATION OF POOR SELF IMAGE

How is your self Image? Is it healthy, or you are also a victim of poor self image? There are a number of ways in which poor self image manifests its self. And it is worth knowing the various manifestations of unhealthy self image. If you do not have any of the symptoms that I am discussing in this section, then accept my 'CONGRATULATIONS.' You may have a healthy self image and you are on a fast track to success.

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14.1.1. An 'I don't care' attitude If you look around yourself, you will find people who are unkempt and shabby. There are people who are obese but still never control their diets or take up physical activities. There are those who dress up in a fashion that may be plain stupid or even hilarious. And they show as if they give a damn or don't care.' In fact this kind of attitude is adopted by people with poor self-image. They do not really see themselves as decent, acceptable and appreciable individuals. They sub-consciously feel miserable, and to overcome their internal misery, they wear this 'don't care' attitude. These people have accepted themselves as a failure and do nothing to change that. 14.1.2. Indecent behavior Making objectionable gestures, using profane language or any kind of indecent behavior is another manifestation of poor self image. Such people do not see themselves as a part of the civilized society and thus behave in a fashion that is socially unacceptable but definitely consistent with their own self image. 14.1.3. Lack of Assertiveness People with unhealthy self image do not see themselves worthy enough to have acceptable point of view. Such people will allow others to walk all over them, let themselves be bullied, or let others take advantage of them. They will not be assertive in front of their colleagues, friends and even children. They feel if they assert themselves, they will not be acceptable to others. Such people live a helpless and lonely life, and every time they fail to assert themselves their self-image plunges down further. 14.1.4. Critical and jealous nature People with low self-image never see themselves as a success, and therefore never succeed. In order to overcome their feeling of failure, they exhibit jealous tendencies towards those who are successful and actually are critical about their success rather than appreciating it. Show them a person who is successful and they will talk about the 'skeletons in his cupboard'. 14.1.5. Gossip mongers These whispering Eavesdroppers talk behind your back, causing incredible chaos by criticizing everyone imaginable-family, friends, relatives, co-workers, bosses, and especially strangers. These Busybodies start rumors and put others down. In fact these characters have an extremely low self image and they sensationalize issues about others, thus making their lives miserable and thus deriving a sense of pseudo superiority. 14.1.6. Emphasis on material things and habit of showing off These exaggerators are people with poor self image, who will spend a fortune on trendy cloths, jewels, cars. They are loudmouth about their exploits and achievements that may even sound outlandish. They always want to be center stage, and admired by other people. Since they feel low inside, they try to cover it up by looking great outside. However, such show-offs end up as the objects of contempt and a laughing stock for others. 14.1.7. The Yes People These are people who are too scared to offend others by saying 'No'. So they say 'Yes' every time and end up making promises that are impossible for them to keep. Eager to get themselves liked by all and sundry they are too scared to turn anyone down. Over-zealous to please, unfortunately, they over commit themselves and hence are unable to deliver in spite of their best intentions, As a result they loose respect in eyes of others as well as themselves, thus further lowering their self-image. alone 14.1.8. Uncomfortable feeling when alone
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People with low self image are not their own friend. In fact they are their own worst enemies. They always need to talk to somebody, or have company. Left alone they feel scared and uncomfortable. After all they are alone with the enemy who thinks poorly of them. They, in order to ward off the uncomfortable feeling, will listen to loud music, or keep the television switched on, or may even take to alcohol and drugs. 14.1.9. Unable to accept criticism People with unhealthy self-image are always scared of their reputation and crave for recognition. Slightest words of criticism appear to them as a threat to their reputation among the peer group. So, they usually take criticism as a personal attack on their position within the group and hence react negatively to even friendly criticism by getting angry or by throwing a tantrum. 14.1.10.Poor sense of humor These are pranksters and practical jokers who are always cracking jokes, and passing rude and insulting remarks at all and sundry, thinking that they are being very funny. They derive satisfaction and fake sense of superiority by hurting others. However, they can not tolerate when same happens to them. They can not bear anyone laughing at them. They even react unnaturally at innocent laughter as they always suspect that they are the topic of the joke. Since they do it themselves, they always feel others are doing it to them. (Actually their self-image is so low that they consider themselves as a perfect victim of the pranks and jokes they play on others). genuine 14.1.11. Lack of genuine friends & broken relationships A person with a poor self image will deny anything good for themselves. And one good thing they always deny is good decent relationships. Usually they fail to get genuine friendships as they can not accept criticism. They are unable to enjoy healthy relationships with their lovers, spouse, other family members or children, as they allow their internal insecurities to take better of them, and they do not give much required space to their relationships. Because, they do not consider themselves worthy of love, respect and friendship, they can never recognize them when they get it, and become over demanding, possessive and controlling, that ultimately kills the relationship. Alternatively if they lack assertiveness they will let everyone walk all over them, and never really earn any respect and will not enjoy the relationship. 14.1.12. Making excuses Success and failure are personal responsibility of every individual. People with low self image are unable to owe up the responsibility of their actions, whether it resulted in failure or success. They will blame their circumstances, people around them and may be their own inadequacies for each of their failures. By making excuses they try to protect their already low self image. Surprisingly, even if they do achieve something, they are unable to accept the credit for the same. They exhibit excessive humility, and pass 14.1.13. Rebel outlaws A dog barks when it needs attention; children act naughty or throw tantrums when they are seeking attention of their parents who are busy elsewhere. Similarly, there are many individuals with low self image who continuously need attention to feed their fragile egos. They actually never grow up. These radicals crave attention so much that they will join cults, gangs and wrong crowds. They will reject accepted authority and be involved in acts such as terrorism, rebellion, and many other criminal activities. Though, unacceptable in society, it definitely gets them attention that they so desperately seek. In fact self-image plays such an important role in a person's life that all his problems and reasons of failure can be attached with unhealthy self image. Apart from the manifestations of low self image discussed here there are many other character traits that have their seed in it. Compulsive liar, Power fanatic, Angry maniac, Stressaholic, Chatterbox, Spoiled Brat, Conceited looker, Selfish people etc. are all examples of people with poor self-image.
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14.2. GETTING AN ADEQUATE SELF IMAGE The self-image you have, may have taken shape through years and must have been influenced by a number of environmental factors and experiences. However, since you have already decided to take control of your life, your self-image has become your own responsibility. The onus of changing your self-image (from a low self defeating one to one that is high), now lies entirely on you. So, here are a few tips and guidelines that will help you to create a new self-image. 14.2.1. Believe in love of God God has made each one of us in his own image. Human being has been bestowed with gifts that have made him the master of this world. So, as a human you are already valuable. God never sponsors any flop. flop He has made people different, so that they can serve different purpose in this world, but he has not made any one less than other. A mother will not like it if one of her children, will feel worthless, ugly, good for nothing. She may not say any thing, but her heart will bleed because she loves all her children equally. Similarly, think how God, who is father of us all, feel when we think poorly of our own self and castigate ourselves to a life of misery and mediocrity. Develop love for God, and believe in his love and you will have taken first step towards having a positive self image. 14.2.2. Accept your uniqueness Think of it, everything about you is unique. Your finger prints are unique, so is your smile, the way you laugh and the way you view the world is different. Think of it how boring and confusing this world would have been, if everyone looked the same, behaved in the same fashion and could do the same things. You are a valuable member of humanity who contributes in its own unique way to the wonderful tapestry of this world. So, accept your uniqueness and feel good about it. Discover those things that are special with you. Don't worry, if some people reject you because you do not appear to be one of them. You just may not be a pig, but a tiger in the story. 14.2.3. Take a stock of your weakness We as human beings are not perfect. We have weaknesses and shortcomings. And some of them can be pretty disturbing and dangerous to us. But do not make them a reason to feel bad about yourself. Do not keep on re-enforcing them by negative thoughts such as 'I am a coward, or I am worthless or I am not good enough.' First, know that you deserve everything good in life. Know it, every gift that you have is from God, and every weakness comes from the devil. It is duty to fight the devil and eliminate it. So, how will you fight something? You need a war-plan and here it is in three simple steps: o o Recognize the devil that is your weakness and accept it. Take a good look at it. Analyze the harm it causes you. Also understand why the weakness is there or is it really a weakness. There are a surprising number of weaknesses that ultimately become a blessing in disguise. Accept that the responsibility of this weakness is with you and you have every power to combat it. Either you can eliminate the weakness, or you can turn it into strength. If you cannot do either, you can definitely do something at least to neutralize its effects. All you may need to do is Take Action

You will find a number of techniques in this site that will help you remove your weakness and make you a better person. But first you have to believe that you do not deserve to live with these shortcomings and it is within your power to do something about it. 14.2.4. Find ways to use your gifts

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There are more number of people in this world who have so many talents and they never make any use of them. Unfortunately, in the rat race to become like others they never utilize their potential. I understand that there may be such dominating factors in our life that may compel us to do things that are not consistent to our aptitude, and ultimately make us frustrated and take a toll on our self-image. John (name changed) never had any formal training in music, but he was a natural singer. His parents wanted him to become an engineer. In order to fulfill his parent's wish, he studied engineering and ultimately became one. But he never enjoyed practicing the profession, though he was good at it. He hopped from one job to another. As a result he was unable to go up in his career, or amass any wealth. Even his relationships were a mess. As a result he started feeling worthless and started suffering from a poor self image. Thankfully, his boss in latest company he was working in, realized it. One day at an office get together he invited John to sing. And he was an instant hit. The boss encouraged him to join the band in his club where he sang during weekends. As, he start finding outlet for his talent, he started feeling worthy once again. With a new improved self image, he started enjoying his work as well and ultimately become a valued member of the company. He stayed on and started climbing the corporate ladder. People loved him and he loved them. His relationships improved and today he is successful in real sense. So, when you use your gifts to do something, you will automatically get recognition, admiration from others as well as improve your sense of self worth. You will feel at ease with yourself and be abel to enjoy life to it's fullest. environment 14.2.5. Change your environment The environment you are in has a direct bearing on your self image. If the people around you are mediocre with poor self image it is very likely that you will become like them. If you wish to improve your own self image, get associated with people who are positive, enthusiastic, and energetic. Make friends with people who are dreamers and are growing. However, be cautious of people who look down upon you. They may look, very successful, positive, and energetic, but they too are suffering from low self image, as a person with positive self image will treat people equally, and embrace anyone who comes to them as a friend. One great way of creating the right environment is to be around good books, and audio recordings of powerful speakers. This is one of the best ways you can associate with positive people that will do wonders for your self image. Attend motivational seminars and training sessions, as you will readily find a group of people who have decided to help themselves and others and therefore are improving their own self image, and will help you to improve yours as well. 14.2.6.Paint a new picture What picture of self do you have in mind? If it is one of a positive person, who is energetic, radiant and successful, who enjoys good relationships, and is climbing up in life, then it is a positive self image. But if it is not that, then your self image needs some attention. The painting of self that is in our mind is the one that got automatically generated based on our environment, circumstances and our experiences. But now, what you will do is to create a painting of yourself, the way you want it to be, consciously. In your mind take the old picture and tear it off or visualize it burning to ashes. Then create the new picture step by step, Make necessary changes till you have the picture of your improved self. Please note it has to be 'your own improved self' and not an imitation of someone else whom you admire. Once you have the picture ready, you have to start believing that it is what you are from right now. From now on what ever you feel or think, match it with the new picture you have painted. If your thought or action is not consistent to this new improved picture, change the thought. In a few days of

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making this conscious effort you will see that you have actually become the picture that you have painted.

14.2.7. Correct your body image If you are struggling with how you look you should evaluate your thinking. Is your opinion about your body realistic? Would a change give you more happiness, self-confidence and success? Is there something really wrong with your body? Or is it just a mental perception based on your unrealistic expectations and past mental programs. You have to be really honest because a poor opinion of yourself is a barrier to your social interaction with others. Each one of you has the right to look good and attractive. But first get rid of the stereotyped perception of what looking good is. Of course you need to have a wonderful figure if you are a model or actor. But it is more important that you are fit. And as well as looks are concerned, take professional help, learn what goes best on you and change the way you wear you makeup, hairstyle, clothing etc., If you think cosmetic surgery will help and you can afford it, go for it. Have healthy food and get regular exercise. However, do not overdo anything, because excess of everything is bad. Ultimately, feel good about yourself. If you feel good you will look good. Most of the time you will not be able to change the way nature has made you and it is not in your hand. But, the way you carry yourself; your grooming and your personality is in your hands. People will like you not for your good looks but for your good personality.

14.2.8. Change your belief system A conservative and orthodox belief system may be one of the greatest hurdles in having a positive self image. Religion is good and all through this site I have advocated the power of faith and God. However, most unfortunately there are some of the things in all religions that show human beings in poor light. I am convinced that God who loves us all can have never said it and it is all creation of a few selfish people who wanted to keep entire humanity under their clutches by injecting such self limiting belief systems. So, it is advisable to have more liberal and flexible belief system. Decide yourself what is good for you and do not blindly follow dictates of scriptures that are mythological. Discard what ever belief you think is obstructing your internal growth and replace it with a new one. I am not saying, that become a rebel, because that is another manifestation of low self image. But simply, understand the difference between 'principles of success' and orthodox and superstitious belief systems.

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