The name game
Recently in France a couple wanted to name their daughter after their favorite
snack- Nutella. After all, everyone loves Nutella, so it would be a great name, right?
Wrong. The French court told the couple they could not name their child Nutella
because people would tease the little girl all of her life. When the couple did not
come to court the judge decided to name the child Ella. At least he gave the parents
a fifty-fifty compromise.
Another French couple had similar problems when they tried to name their daughter
Fraise, which is strawberry in French. This sounds like a nice name, but the judge
said no, there will be no little girls in France running around with the name
Strawberry. Once again, the judge said it was because other children would tease
her. It might have something to do with the fact that in France strawberry is slang
for the part of your body you sit on.
France is not the only country that doesnt like new and original baby names. Many
countries have a list of approved names that parents must choose from. The Czech
Republic has a list too, so you may meet lots of Jana Novakovs, but no Jahoda
Novakovs. Some people disagree with restricting parents to a state-approved list,
but in some cases it is clearly a good thing. Here are some examples of unusual
names around the world:
Germany
A Turkish family in Germany wanted to name their newborn son Osama Bin Laden.
The German court, fortunately, said no.
Germany also said no to a couple who wanted to call their son Matti. Whats wrong
with Matti? You cant tell if it belongs to a girl or a boy. Germany, like many
countries, requires children to have gender specific names. No boys named Sue in
Germany!
New Zealand
There are a lot of creative parents in New Zealand. The court there said a couple
could not name their child 4Real because no name can begin with a number. Yeah
Detroit , Fish and Chips, and (my personal favorite) Tula Does The Hula From Hawaii
were all not allowed for simply being too stupid. Strangely, the name Number 16
Bus Shelter was okay. I still like Tula Does The Hula better.
Japan
If you have a little boy in Japan and want to give him the nice name of Akuma you
cannot. Why? Akuma means devil, and the Japanese dont want any little Devils.
China
In China names are forbidden if they are too unusual. This was certainly the case
when a couple wanted to name their child @. The court said no, you cannot name
your child a symbol.
Sweden
In Sweden a couple wanted to name their son
Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116, and told the court the name is
pronounced Albin. Really. The judge decided the whole thing was nonsense and told
the couple if they wanted to name their son Albin they should spell it Albin. The
couple then tried again, asking the court if they could name the child A,
pronounced, you guessed it, Albin. The judge, again, said no. Never has a court
decision been so right.
But in Sweden there must be heavy metal fans in the legal system, because the
name Metallica is okay.
Denmark
It looks like Denmark is in competition with Sweden for the craziest parents. Some
of the names forbidden in Denmark are Pluto and Monkey. Pluto isnt so bad though.
The United States
In the US there are almost no restrictions on baby names. Parents can choose a
traditional name, or something unusual. In black American culture it is common to
make up names. For example, if the father likes the name Marshal and the mother
prefers the name Shawn they can compromise with the name Marshawn. Wow!
In the mid-1990s the rock star Prince changed his name to a symbol. He said the
symbol had no pronunciation. So what did people call him? The Artist Formerly
Known As Prince. And when Prince later changed his name back to Prince, he
became The Artist Formerly Known As The Artist Formerly Known As Prince.
Americans can be really sarcastic!
The only restriction on American names is that they cannot be offensive. This was
the problem with the names a couple from New Jersey chose for their son and
daughter. The father is a member of a neo-Nazi party, and named his daughter
Aryan Nation, while his sons name is Adolf Hitler. The unusual names caused
complaints to the court, and after an investigation the children were taken from the
parents. It is unclear whether their names will be changed. It probably didnt help
the parents case that the father went to court wearing a full Nazi SS uniform.
Since that time the couple has divorced, and the father has a new wife. They had a
baby girl that the court also took from them because of unhealthy living conditions.
The girls name? Eva Braun, of course.
Perhaps America should start a list of approved names.
The lesson we can learn from all of this name silliness is that no matter what you
think of your name, it could be worse!
