Torres, Sheila Mae N.

BaComm- 1D

Chapter 3: Family
Try It Out: Family Attitudes

 First, who would you consider your immediate family?

My Grandparent, My Mom, Dianara, they are the one who I considered as my family.

 For each family member you named above, write down how you think they react to issues of
diversity in some or all these areas.

My Grandma- She definitely will get mad and also fight for what is right but before she would do that
she always asks what really happened or what was the cause of that event or scene. And I think it’ll
helps if you tell her immediately.

My Mom- She is a protective mom and like the other mom’s out there she will be going to protect her
children. Mother knows all things about you so I think I will be accepted of who I am because she’s my
mom.

Dianara- Well, I guess she is my favorite sister because of her great and strong personality and also she
is so brave and straightforward and definitely she will do the same thing as your sister going to do but
believe it or not she is kind and softhearted person she just doesn’t want that other people
underestimating her capabilities. She is also supportive when it comes to my decision, she is always
telling me that as long as I’m happy, she will be happy too.

 What messages have you have received from the different family members about LGBT people?

I have a friend named Alliah, and she came from a Christian family and because of that her family wants
her to become a straight woman and opposite of that she became a bisexual. Alliah is so kind and
thoughtful and I supported her to who is she now because for me there’s nothing wrong about her as
long as she doesn’t tarnish other’s dignity. Her mom always telling her that she will marry a man
someday and build a family and fulfill her dreams but Alliah is experiencing hard time to help herself to
identify who she really wants to be. It’s really hard that you are hiding something to your family even
though you know to yourself that you don’t want to hurt them but because you’re afraid what will your
parents will say when you tell the truth. Just pray and believe that someday you’re going to get out of
your shell. You just need some time and I think God will give you right time.
  What messages have you received from each family member about transgender or gender
expansive people in particular?

Well, to sum it up some of them are telling me that why there are people who is not contented of
what God gave them. If you really want to be out of your shell just tell them and stop doing things that
might cause you in trouble, I know that they are doing that because it makes them free and happy but
why aren’t they consider that the true happiness is the acceptance of all the people around you? Some
of them are saying it’s okay, because it’s their life and some of them are not really convinced. But for
me, I think it’s just because of the standard of the society why? Because if that issue is don’t matter at all
there will no longer unnecessary actions right? Just be happy for them and be proud.

 Often different family members have different levels of knowledge about gender diversity. For
each immediate family member, write what you think their level of knowledge is.

My grandma- before, when your mother was taking up 2 nd grade in elementary that was enough to
face the reality and to live. For me, my Lola is not that knowledgeable enough about this issue
because she told me that unlike now the education before is only limited that’s why it’s a great
privilege for them if you took elementary. But she is really understanding person and she can listen
to you and support you. Just explain your side and let her know what’s the truth.

My mom- She is undergraduate in high school and I think she has knowledge about this gender
diversity but it’s not widely understand. So basically, she just supports you because we all know that
mother is the only one who will understand you in whatever you will be.

Dianara- She is a high school graduate and I think she is more aware and knowledgeable than my
other siblings because I know she experience having a secret admirer from a lesbian and I think she
is someone who would you trust about this.

 For each person you named in your family, write about the different forces that might shape
their attitudes about gender diversity:

My grandma- I think my grandma will let you realized things that you might not see. Things that you
are not considering, decision that might lose your real self.

My mom- She will understand you no matter what and supports you for who you are but I know that
she will tell you what is your limitations and your responsibilities that you will take.

Dianara- at first, she will get confused because I know that there’s something in her mind that is
bothering her and making it so complicated, but on the other side she is letting you realize things
but at the same time supporting you.
 Try It Out: Who do I talk to first?
 Are there family members you believe to be most likely to understand what you want to tell
them about your gender?

Yes, and it’s my sister Dianara.

 Are certain family members more likely to tell other family members you aren’t ready to tell?
No, because we have a rule that is really need to follow.

 Are there certain family members that you want to tell soon? Why?
I don’t have, and if yes it’s their issue not mine.

Try It Out; Preparing to talk to your family member about your gender

 What exactly would you want to have this person understand about you and your gender
identity and expression?

Well, I don’t have any issue about my gender identity all I really wanted to say is that
just let me be who I really want to be. The way I dressed up, the way I act, the way I express
myself because if they really love me they will support me in everything that I will do.
 What words, language, and approach do you think will be best to get this person to understand
this message?
A sincere and face to face talk is what I really need to understand me.
 It helps if you can anticipate concerns or questions the person may have. What do you think
they might worry about or be confused about?
Maybe the judgments, or their mental health.
 What things can you communicate to your family member to address the concerns or
confusions you named above?
I just need a talk with my mom because I believe communication is the key and often the first
step to finding solutions. Be calm and honest about your concerns when discussing your
problems with a loved one.
 In talking to this family member, what would be the best-case scenario?
Maybe by being accepted and proud because I was brave enough to tell them who I really am.
 In talking to this family member, what would be the worst-case scenario?
By being rejected, kick out from the house or worst being called sick or crazy.
 Try It Out: Seeing into the future

 For each of the worst-case scenarios you named above, list the supports you could do if needed
(such as friends, LGBTQ people in person or online, staff at your school or therapist)
Being rejected- maybe my real friends will totally understand me if I let them understand me.
Kick out from the house- I’m going to find some friend’s house and stay for a night and find job.
Being called crazy- maybe I can go out with my friends to forget everything.
 What can you do and whom can you turn to if difficult challenges arise?
Of course, for me I lift it to God because I believe that everything’s happen for a reason and he
has plan for everything.
 Talking to family members about your gender is an act that requires a lot of energy and courage.
This deserves to be celebrated! List some ways in which you can celebrate after your
conversation, no matter how they go:
More bonding with them
Having a conversation about things
Let them know who you really are

Try It Out: What do you need?

 What do you need from your family members during periods of adjustments to feel safe and
valued?
I just want to give me more time to tell them who I really am. And stop doing things that might
be hurtful for me and force me to do things that I really don’t want. Let me express myself so
that it will easy for them to understand and identify who I really am.
Chapter 4: School and Work

Try It Out; My advocacy supports

 Who are the possible people in leadership at your school or workplace that might be able and
willing to help you navigate any issues related to gender in your school or work settings?

My professor

 Who are the people outside your school or workplace that might assist you in advocating for
yourself?

My friends

 Are there peers at school or work who could be helpful in your efforts?

Yes

Name: Mr. Avel Nalaunan

What do you want to make sure they know about what has been going on for you?

I want to let him know about what’s going on to my life, I really admit that I really messed up. I
want to build myself again, I really do.

 What do you want or need for them to do to help?

Give me advice what will I’m going to do and just support and guide me.

Name: Clemen John Tuala

 What do you want to make sure they know about what has been going on for you?

I want to share everything about me and let him be updated about me.

 What do you want or need for them to do to help?

His time, love and attention

Name: Kirsten Kyla Torzar

 What do you want to make sure they know about what has been going on for you?

What I feel and what I think.

 What do you want or need for them to do to help?

Her advices, support and trust.

Try It Out: Name and Pronouns

 What name(s) have you considered using during your gender journey?
Sheila, Tisay
 Which name do you currently prefer to be called?
Sheila
 Have you already asked people at school or work to use this name? if not, how ready do you feel
to ask these people to use your name? circle the response that most closely matches your
feeling?
5- totally ready! That is the only name I will answer to.
 What pronoun(s) do you believe fit you best and respect your gender identity?
Her, She
 Have you already asked people at school, work to use theses pronouns for you? If not, how do
you think they would respond if you asked them to use the pronouns that affirms your gender?
I really don’t need to beg people to call me that way because it’s obvious.

Try It Out: Bathrooms, Locker Rooms, And Uniforms

 Are there things at school that force you into gen der spaces and behaviors that are
uncomfortable (for example, bathroom, locker rooms, uniforms, or lining up by boys and
girls for recess?)
None.
 What feeling do you have when you are in these situations and what do you do about them?
If I’m part of LGBTQ, I will just ignore them and just follow the rules.
 How would you like to see these situations handled (for example, be able to use different
unisex bathroom, be able to use the girl’s locker room?)
I want them to be fair and square because we are in a democratic country so we must let
them hear and voice out what they really want.
 After what you learned in the advocating for yourself section of this chapter, what steps do
you think you might try to get things to change as you would like?
Obviously, I don’t see anything that I’m going to change because God created us for who we
really are now and I’m happy and contented in my life.
Try It Out: Harassment and Bullying

 Have you experienced see, or heard about harassment, name calling, or violence in your
school or workplace (to you or to someone else)?
Yes, when I was in junior high.
 Are there times or situations in which you are most worried about being mistreated? (for
example, when you go to the bathroom)
None.
 If you or people you know have been mistreated in the past, what was done about it?
Nothing.
 What do you think needs to happen in your school or workplace so that you feel safe and
don’t have to worry as much about bullying or harassment?
That’s why there are councils that are putting platforms to raise issues and concerns of their
school and I think they must have a platform that will help bullying stop.

CHAPTER 5: Friends and other peers

Try It Out: Who’s Up First?

 Name a few people who you think you might be interested in talking about your gender?
I don’t have because I am straight.
But I will consider this ff;
Kirsten Kyla Torzar
Clemen John Tuala
Jessa Mae Ranola
 Let’s get to know these people a bit better. First, let’s think about their potential reactions.

Person How open to gender or What makes you think this?

sexuality diversity do you think
they are?
Kirsten Kyla Torzar Well, I know this girl so well and Because I consider her as my
I know that she is really open best friend and I do really know
about this and you know what’s how she reacts, comments or
best? She can help you to get whatsoever.
out of your shell.
Jessa Mae Ranola She is really open about this and I consider this as my buddy
she’s going to support you because we get along in same
whatever happens. interests.
Clemen John Tuala He is really open and he can Well, I know him a lot that’s
also give you advices and help why i came up with that idea.
you get rid of it. And tells you
what really matters.
 So, reviewing this, which of these people seems like they might be the most supportive?
Well, all of them. Because I know that they meet people that is belong in LGBTQ and they
know how it feels to be left behind.
 Now, consider for each of those people how likely they are to keep your privacy, if that’s
what you want. Think about times when they’ve kept or told other private information of
yours or someone else’s. Have they been trustworthy?

Person How trustworthy are they? What makes you think this?
Kirsten Torzar Very trustworthy not a kiss She never tell my secret
and tell person.
Jessa Ranola Very trustworthy and gives She never tell my secret and
you her opinion and let you be my ally whenever she
realize things. heard something that will
ruin our reputation.
Clemen Tuala A secret keeper, very Because I know him since
trustworthy and will support 2017 and he never tells my
you and correct you if secret.
you’re wrong.

 Who is the most trustworthy?

All of them., because I know and I can sense that they are trustworthy and also because
they proved it to me. I don’t trust easily because I know the feeling of being backstab by
your friends and its really hurt.
 How important are support and privacy to you in this process?
Privacy enables us to create boundaries and protect ourselves from unwarranted
interference in our lives, allowing us to negotiate who we are and how we want to interact
with the world around us. And the support will be the best in it because we all know that it
really depends on people if they’re going to support you or not and it’s both important for
me because it helps me to face the reality with them.

 Below, think about how you would feel if the people you choose had the reactions
described. How intense would this be for you?
 If they were…. I’d feel….
Really excited for me and can’t wait to hear Happy because I feel so special and
all about it. interested of what I’m going to tell them.
Happy for me and supportive Genuinely happy, because it’s a best-case
scenario. Being happy and being supportive
is a perfect combination.
Supportive but don’t seem to understand Still happy, because despite of it she still
what it means. supports me.
Supportive but use the wrong name or Offensive, I already told them what should
pronoun for me, even after I asked them to they call me but it seems that they make
use my preferred one. fun of it.
Supportive but have questions that show Weird, because it’s not weird but they think
that maybe they think it is weird. it is weird.
Not very supportive but seem willing to Great, because they are willing to
learn over time understand me
Not at all supportive but will still be my Happy, maybe because they don’t tolerate
friend things that they don’t want to see.
Not at all supportive and don’t want to be Sad, because I consider them as my friends
my friend. but it seems that they don’t care at all.

 How about your privacy? How important is that to you? (mark anywhere on the line)

If this happened… How much of a problem would it be for

me?
The person I told hinted a little to close 1-------------------------5--------------------------10
mutual friend ∎
The person I talked to told a close mutual 1-------------------------5--------------------------10
friend ∎
Our conversation got out to our group of 1-------------------------5--------------------------10
friends ∎
The whole school found out 1-------------------------5--------------------------10
∎
My parent/s found out 1-------------------------5--------------------------10
∎
My extended family found out 1-------------------------5--------------------------10
∎
 Chapter 6: Dating and Sex

Try It Out: Exploring your sexual and romantic attractions

 Do you ever daydream about being close to someone physically or sexually? What happens
in these fantasies? Who is in them?
Yes, I want to keep it secret but I really felt something that time.
 Do you ever daydream about being close to someone emotionally or romantically? What
happens in these fantasies? Who is in them?
Yes, we just have a drink and boom.
 Do you notice any themes or patterns in what types of people or fantasies you are attracted
to?
Yes, and that all says that I’m a straight woman and attracted to men.

Try It Out: Exploring your sexual and romantic identities

Identity Why this does fit for me Why this does not fit for me
Lesbian - I am Heterosexual
Gay - I am Heterosexual
Bisexual - I am Heterosexual
Heterosexual - I am Heterosexual
Queer - I am Heterosexual
Asexual - I am Heterosexual
Pansexual - I am Heterosexual
(other sexual identity label) - I am Heterosexual
Aromantic - Never experience this
Biromantic - Never experience this
Heteroromantic - Never experience this
Homoromantic - Never experience this
Panromantic - Never experience this
(other romantic identity - Never experience this
label)

 What are the positive parts of making this choice of coming out now or waiting?
I am perfectly heterosexual, and I am only attracted to my opposite sex and I am not against
to those are not straight but if they decided to come out I think they must wait for the right
time because that time it’ll be easy for them to express themselves and live their own life
happily and free.
 What are the negative parts of making this choice?
Of course, they will encounter judgmental people, they can be rejected by their family or
friends and worst they will become the center of attraction and discriminate them.
 How might making this choice affect how the relationship moves forward?
Maybe thinking of you’re going to come out or not

 After answering these questions, do you still feel the same about your ideas about when to
come out? What other thought come up in making this decision?
Nothing, because I’m heterosexual. Maybe for those who are belong to LGBTQ they think it
is helpful for them and also hard for them because of the society that we have now. Just
trust God’s plan for you, don’t rush things.

 What is your plan for choosing a safe place?

Talking privately, so that I will sincerely tell them what I really wanted to say.
 What is your exit strategy?
Again, I’m not in the position to say anything about this but if I was one of them, I don’t
have any plans to exit in that situation because it’s their decision if they would accept it or
not.

 Who are possible safety/support people?

My family and friends.

 What is your plan for checking in?

Of course, I consult my parents first about this and let them think other plans for me to
reach out.

Try It Out: My turn-ons and turn-offs

Turn-Ons
- scent
- manly looking
- play wrestling
- road trips
- when someone kisses my neck

Turn-Offs

- body odor
- aggressive
- dirty
- clingy
- easily get tired
  Are there particular body parts that are off limits during sexual activity? if so, what are they?
None, because from the moment you did that thing meaning you are ready to offer yourself
to your partner.

 Are there body parts that can only be touched in certain ways for it to be pleasurable? If so,
what are they?
Breast, legs, waist.

 Are there parts of your body outside of genitals that are particularly sensitive for you (for
example, neck, ears, back) and might be places to explore sexual pleasure? If so, what are
they?
Legs, breast, waist
 Are there things that you aren’t sure how they would feel but might want to try?
Example: wearing a strap-on while my partner cuddles me on the couch, taking my shirt off
but telling my partner I want to keep my bra on, getting or giving an earlobe blow job.

I want to try to just cuddle for the whole night without having a hard dick!!!!

Try It Out: Let’s Talk about Sex, baby

 What worries or concerns do you have about talking about your sexual needs and
preferences?
Maybe, giving birth
 What potentially good things could come from talking about your sexual needs and
preferences?
It helps me to reduce discomfort, to be more aware and open minded about this topic.
Torres, Sheila Mae
Bacomm-1D

1.What is gender sensitivity?

is the way service providers treat male or female clients in service delivery facilities and thus
affects client willingness to seek services, continue to use services, and carry out the health behaviors
advocated by the services.,

2. How do gender sensitivity works?

Gender sensitization presides over gender sensitivity, the modification of behavior by raising
awareness of gender equality concerns. This can be achieved by conducting various sensitization
campaigns, training centers, workshop, programs etc.

3. How does it help a society behave towards gender?

In our society today, it is really hard for those who are belong in LGBTQ because they will face all the
judgments from other people and discriminating them. Maybe the society can help in a way of erasing
the concept of any negative to those people who belongs in LGBTQ.

4.Is gender sensitivity too sensitive?

Being sensitive is, very simply put, being appreciative of others' feelings. In that context, gender
sensitivity is about being considerate of the opposite gender's feelings. The reason this is important is
because men and women think differently, and obviously, have varying perspectives.

5.Up to what extent should we be gender sensitive?

The first and most important aspect of gender sensitivity is to be open to the perspective and feelings
of any colleague of the opposite gender. This could be a simple case of knowing enough about their
personal issues to more nuanced understanding of gender-specific aspects such as comments or jokes
that could be offensive.

6. Scenario: You are a teacher and a parent reported to you and told you that their son is gay but they
don’t want him to be gay, but the son insists on being gay and it gives drives him crazy if he’s preferred
gender is not being acknowledge. What should you do?

I’m going to talk to the parents and tell them that their son is having a hard time about his gender. And
I’m going to explain to them about their son’s gender. I will help as long as I can, help them to
understand that their son is a gay. And just support him and give the love that he deserves.
CHAPTER 8: Dealing with the hard stuff
Try It Out: Thoughts and feelings

Thoughts Feelings
 I still don’t know what job will I get  Happy
after taking Mass Communication
and maybe because of the people
around me discouraging my
perspective of having a successful
life.  Sad
 Being married with the person I met
since 2017 and build our dreams
together.  Afraid
 Missing my family, the moments that
we’re all having fun. The videoke
moments while we’re eating French
fries.

Try It Out: Brain Change

Look back on your list of stressful thoughts from the last exercise. First, do any of the common brain
tricks show up in your thoughts? If yes, list some here:

- Being negative. I always led what future might take me.

Try It Here:

Unhelpful Thought Challenge to Thought

They are judging me because of the issue I became brave and strong because I fight
before and that is loving a person who has for my loved ones.
14 years of gap between my age.
Try It Out: Minority Stress

Have you ever heard of someone facing discrimination, victimization, or rejection because of their race,
class, ability level, or gender? Perhaps someone was a victim of violence or bullying, perhaps others
didn’t want to be their friend, or maybe you saw someone being made fun on a TV show or in a movie.
Write down any instances that come to mind.

- My best friend Yui, she is half Filipina and half Black American and because of her look,
her physical appearance many people are mocking her and worst she experienced
bullying.
- I watched movie where the girl was bullied by her capabilities and innocence.

Pick one instance that sticks out to you, what did you think and feel that time?

- Of course, I felt bad at Yui because I know that her look is what makes living her life
miserable and always worried. And I think, it’ll helpful for her that I stay by her side and
makes her more confident and brave.

Try It Out: Stress Test

Do you see any signs of stress in yourself?

Check yes or no for the things you have experienced over the past month.

YES NO

Feeling down or depressed.

Crying easily.

Feeling overwhelmed.

Having frequent stomachache or headaches.

Having no appetite or eating more than you would like.

Having trouble sleeping or sleeping too much.

Feeling anxious or on edge.

Feeling like your heart is pounding or you have trouble breathing,

Using alcohol or other drugs more than you or others think you should.

Wishing you weren’t alive.

If you said no to all of the above, fantastic!

Dealing with Stress

What are some positive coping skills you like to use?

- I always think that everything happens for a reason, that we should be always thankful
and contented of what we have and be grateful and happy.

Try It Out: Emotions Journal

Step 1

Start with 5 minutes of journaling right now. If you haven’t decided on a journal yet, that’s okay, just get
some paper and pen. Ready, set, flow…

Now look at the illustrations on the opposite page. How many emotions did you experience in those five
minutes? Were there emotions under those emotions? Circle all that you felt.
Try It Out: Coping with Different Emotions

Step 2

Here’s the part where you get to be creative.

Pick five difficult or negative emotions you think you feel most often and list them on the left side below.
Then on the right side, list your coping skills- both positive and negative. If you are stuck, look at the list
of coping skills in the appendix.

Emotion Positive coping skills I Any negative coping New positive coping
know work skills I have used skills I could try
Angry Inhale and exhale Shouting and make Be calm and
therapy face understanding

Being Sensitive Understands the reality Walking out or being Must be more open
snob and flexible to any
instances.

Sad Listening to loud music Just sleep. Stop overthinking and

and cry remember the happy
moments.

Anxious Praying and always Isolating myself Inhale and exhale

talking to myself therapy

Disappointed Just ignore it Being mad and pissed Less expectation, less
off pain.