Activity 1: Clarity, Tone, Diction & Grammar
Directions: Revise the following excerpt to achieve clarity, appropriate tone, diction and grammar.
Excerpt from a letter to the Regional Director:
The ABC is one of the abiding higher education institutions or academe for the Commission on
Higher Education Rules and Regulation and maintain with high respect the CHED Standards
pertaining to graduation.
In this regard, the ABC is highly requesting permission for humanitarian consideration to your
good office to allow ABC graduating summer masteral students of year 2018, who are supposed
to finish their course at the end of Summer 2018. Since the school does not hold a graduation
ceremony because of expenditures to be incurred and a few number of graduate of Summer
class, we have planned to allow them to partake in the incoming Graduation Ceremonies together
with the college students of our institution. This office assures that our students will only be
attending the ceremonial activity and that the request for their Special Order shall only be
submitted to your office upon completion of their academic subject requirements, and Official
Transcript of Records and other student credential shall only be release upon finishing the last
subjects which they shall be taking during this Summer Class 2018.
Thank you to your kind consideration for your favourable response to this humble request.
Activity 2: Clarity (Parallelism, Avoiding Wordiness, Mechanics)
Directions: Revise the following excerpt for clarity by observing parallelism, avoiding wordiness,
and using appropriate mechanics, among others.
Excerpt from a letter to the Regional Director:
Dear:__________________________,
The XYZ and Office Administration Department will be conducting “Events Management
Convention 2018 and Office Administration, XYZ National Membership Caravan” with the theme:
“Doing it Differently: Innovation and Creativity in Events” at ABC University, Nueva Vizcaya on
May 28, 2018.
This event aimed to serve as a good venue for the participants to gain new and up-to-
date insights from the experts such as: Pathway to success in events, Challenges and Trens,
Power Dressing and Strengthening Connections
To provide a background on social events with connection in millennial world
Elaborate the importance of personal grooming on jobs in the XYZ industry
Provide techniques and ways on how to look pleasant and professional in the field of XYZ
industry
Provide a cluster that will represent he province to the national
Strengthen the union between XYZ students in the province
To work for increase in efficiency and effectiveness of the organization
In relation to this, may we request for an endorsement from your office.
May we also take this opportunity to invite you to grace the occasion because we strongly
believe that your presence will ignite and inspire us to vigorously continue our aspirations of
producing quality and competitive graduate, most especially in our region?
We look forward for your favourable endorsement to this endeavour and likewise, your
presence during the event.
Activity 3. Revised the tone and format of the memorandum below.
DATE: March 20, 2017
TO: Finance Department; Marketing Department; Operations Department
FROM: Human Resources Department
SUBJECT: Annual Performance Evaluation Reports
THIS IS TO REMIND YOU THAT YOU HAVE NOT SUBMITTED YOUR ANNUAL
PERFORMANCE EVALUATION REPORTS. YOU HAVE UNTIL MARCH 24, 2017 TO
FORWARD THESE DOCUMENTS TO US. IF YOU DO NOT MEET THIS DEADLINE, THEN
YOU WILL NOT RECEIVE ANY OF THE INCENTIVES EXTENDED TO EMPLOYEES
ANNUALLY. YOUR LACK OF COMPLIANCE WILL ALSO MEAN YOUR INABILITY TO
FOLLOW THIS ORGANIZATION’S POLICIES AND GUIDELINES.
For your urgent compliance.
Activity 4. Revise the letter below to make it sounds polite.
Dear Dr. Cruz,
As an AB Communication student, I am very interested in attending
your workshop on building communication skills.
I have read your online brochure and I would like to verify if the
workshop offers discounted rates for undergraduate students.
I was also informed by my English professor that you are looking for
volunteers to assist in your registration. I would appreciate it if you
can give me more details about this.
I expect your reply on Monday so I can plan ahead and mark my
schedule.
Thanks much
David Reyes.