MANIPULATION AND DARK

PSYCHOLOGY
Your Complete Guide to Mastering the Art of
Persuasion and Building a Better Life via NLP
Secrets, Emotional Control, Hypnosis, Body
Language, and Mind Control

KATE DAVIS
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 DISCLAIMER
Kаtе Dаvis © Соpyright 2020.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored
in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means,
electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or
otherwise, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
TABLE OF CONTENT
DISCLAIMER
INTRODUCTION
CHAPTER 1
What’s Dark Psychology?
CHAPTER 2
Why Is Human Interaction Important?
CHAPTER 3
Persuasion
CHAPTER 4
Psychotherapy Isn’t Harmful: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
CHAPTER 5
Influencing People Using Persuasion
CHAPTER 6
Mind Control and Our Subconscious
CHAPTER 7
Using Neuroscience in Mood Disorders, Aggression, and Anxiety
CHAPTER 8
Using Neuroscience to Improve Mental Health Treatment
CHAPTER 9
Writing as a Tool to Help Combat Fear and Anxiety
CHAPTER 10
Positives of Dark Psychology
CHAPTER 11
Female Behavior and Dark Psychology
CHAPTER 12
Analyzing People Through Behavioral Psychology
CHAPTER 13
 Role of Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace
CHAPTER 14
Use Your Emotional Intelligence to Increase Happiness
FAQs ABOUT DARK PSYCHOLOGY
CONCLUSION
THANK YOU!
MORE BOOKS BY KATE DAVIS
ABOUT KATE DAVIS
 INTRODUCTION
The human personality is mind-boggling and fundamentally unique to every
individual we’ll ever encounter in our lives. However, we all share traits
that unite us.
This book explains that, in general, all the psychological forces at work
haven’t been cracked. We still suffer from mental illnesses, personality
disorders, trauma, and other anxieties that haven’t yet been fully explored.
And the prevalence of these psychological or psychiatric disorders affects
our personalities and behavior daily.
This book will also show how we can analyze people through their body
language and behavior and explain persuasion and Dark Psychology.
These are all fascinating subjects and will help to give an insight, not only
into others’ minds but our own.
 CHAPTER 1

What’s Dark Psychology?

D ark Psychology is a phenomenon whereby individuals use

motivation, influence, control, and manipulation to get what they
desire.
Dark Psychology is an examination of the human condition; it identifies the
mental approaches of individuals who prey on others, motivated by
criminality, psychopathy, or greed.
All of humanity has the potential to victimize other people. While many
restrictions limit or suppress this tendency, some follow their
impulses.
Dark Psychology tries to understand the thoughts, emotions, perceptions,
and subjective processing systems that lead to predatory behavior that
contradicts the current understanding of human behavior.
Dark Psychology assumes that such predatory behavior is purposeful and
that it has some rational and objective motivation 99.99% of the time. It’s
the remaining 0.01%, the mistreatment of others without any seemingly
logical intent, that Dark Psychology is most interested in.
Dark Psychology assumes that there’s an area in the human mind that
allows a few people to commit terrible acts for no reason.
Dark Psychology states that all humans can execute their evil plan towards
others, ranging from pushy and changeable behavior to pure psychopathic
behavior without any enduring rationality. This is known as the “Dark
Continuum.”
Factors that act as accelerators and entice people to enter the “Dark
Singularity,” and where an individual’s malicious activities fall on the Dark
Continuum, is the thing that Dark Psychology calls the “Dark Factor.”
Below is a brief introduction to these ideas about this aspect of the human
condition’s darker side.
All societies, all beliefs, and all people have some inherent evil—a dark
side. Some have labeled it criminal, immoral, and pathological.
Dark Psychology presents a third philosophical view that isn’t the same as
religious dogmas or contemporary sociology hypotheses.
Dark Psychology claims that some individuals commit these evil acts
without any known purpose. It’s not because of power, money, sex, or any
other available reason.
Why do certain people take the opportunity to hurt others without a purpose
or particular goal, clarification, or reason? This is the region where Dark
Psychology tries to find the answers.
Dark Psychology accepts that we all have the potential for predatory
behavior, and this potential can enter our thoughts, emotions,
and perceptions. If you’re honest with yourself, you’d admit that you’ve
had ideas and opinions of committing horrific acts.
We can all act upon this dark potential, but most of us don’t—thankfully.
In reality, we see ourselves as benevolent; one would want to accept that
these thoughts and emotions simply don’t exist. Dark Psychology presents
us with some individuals who’ve got the same ideas, feelings,
and perceptions, who don’t hesitate to pursue their evil plans.
Dark Psychology labels that part of the human psyche or general human
condition that allows predatory behavior. Notable features of this behavioral
drive in various cases are the absence of an apparent rational impulse, its
wholeness, and the loss of predictability and perception.
Dark Psychology understands that this human tendency towards predatory
behavior means we haven’t evolved as much as we’d like to say we have.
Consider first that we evolved from animals, and now we consider
ourselves to be the best of all animals. The frontal lobe of our brain has
enabled us to do so. But this doesn’t completely separate us from our
animal senses or predatory nature.
According to evolution, all behaviors are related to three primary instincts:
sexual, social, and self-preservation. These are the three fundamental
drivers of man. Evolution follows the principles of survival of the fittest and
replication of the species.
Our mastery of knowledge and perception has brought out the best in
ourselves and the worst of ourselves. In the animal kingdom, males fight to
the death for territory or for power. All those acts, violent and brutal, are
explained by evolution—survive or die.
While animals hunt, they often hunt and kill the youngest, the weakest, or
females. While this fact seems psychopathic, the goal is to reduce their own
chance of death or injury.
All their cruel, drastic, and extreme actions correspond to the ideas of
evolution, the instinct to survive, natural selection, and reproduction. In this
study of Dark Psychology, we’ll learn about its application to the human
species.
Dark Psychology discusses that part of the human psyche or general human
condition that allows predatory behavior.
Philosophers and writers have tried to describe this phenomenon over the
centuries. Only people can harm others without clear, rational
motivation. Dark Psychology believes that part of a man feeds malicious
and harmful behavior.
Dark Psychology finds the dark side of people
unpredictable. In understanding that working on these terrible impulses, and
even more variable in length, some will go to them with their sense of
grace, which is wholly denied. Some people torture, rape, murder, and
violate for no reason or purpose.
Dark Psychology talks about a man’s activities as a predator trying to hunt
for no apparent reason. We humans are strangely dangerous to ourselves
and even to other living things.
The more the reader can imagine Dark Psychology, the better they’re
designed to reduce their chance of exploitation by human predators. Before
continuing, it’s essential to be aware of Dark Psychology. The following are
six principles that are essential for understanding it:

1. Dark Psychology is a general part of the human condition and has an

impact from the start. All societies, social orders, and individuals are
living in support of this aspect of human health.

The most good-hearted individuals have this field of evil; however,

they never followed it and have lower frequencies of fresh ideas and
emotions.
2. Dark Psychology is the examination of the human condition. It
correlates with the thoughts, emotions, and perceptions of groups of
people identified with this natural potential to hurt others without
any cause. Since everything is purposeful, Dark Psychology
suggests that the less the person stays in the “dark hole” of evil, the
fewer opportunities there are for their purpose of inspiration.

3. Due to the possibility of distortion as abnormal psychopathy, the

Dark Psychology in its inert structure can be overlooked. History is
full of examples of this latent ability to discover themselves as
active, dangerous behavior. Current psychiatry characterizes the
 psychopath as a predator without regrets. Dark Psychology states
that there’s a continuum of seriousness that, for no reason, extends
from ideas and emotions from destruction to extreme
exploitation.

4. On this continuum, the importance of Dark Psychology isn’t

considered less or more terrible by the manner of victimization, but
it calculates a measure of cruelty. An honest description
would analyze Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer. Both were extreme
mental cases and horrifying in their activities.
The bottom line is that Dahmer committed his murders because of
his strange claim for friendship, while Ted Bundy murdered out of
pure psychopathic evil. Both are higher up on the Dark Continuum,
but Jeffrey Dahmer could be better understood for wanting to be
loved.

5. Dark Psychology assumes that all individuals have the potential for
cruelty. This potential is innate in all people, and different interior
and exterior components increase the likelihood of this possibility
being shown uncertainly.

These practices are cruel, sometimes taking place for no

reason. Dark Psychology accepts that humans distort the dynamics
of predators and prey. Dark Psychology is exclusively a human
phenomenon and isn’t shared by any other living being. Violence
and cruelty can appear in other living things, yet humans are the
main species that can do it for no reason.

6. An understanding of the unknown causes and triggers of Dark

Psychology would better enable society to perceive, analyze, and
mitigate the danger in its impact. Learning the ideas of Dark
Psychology has a beneficial double function.
For starters, by tolerating, we as a whole have the potential for
insidious licensing for those with information to reduce the chance
 of ejection. Moreover, knowing the fundamentals of dark
psychology fits with our unique developmental reason for
staying.
We’d probably teach others by raising their awareness, changing their
existence to improve things, and inspiring them to teach others how to
reduce their chances of falling victim to these evil forces and how Dark
Psychology helps.
We all have our dark sides as part of the human condition, but not usually
shown or acted upon. As this author recently said, Dark Psychology
encompasses all types of brutal and violent behavior.
This writer tries to look at Dark Psychology’s premise and nature to see
how a healthy, intelligent person can get in the news with horrifying
behavior that no one could’ve expected. It’s amazing how people with good
mental health could interest or allow such violence.
History shows that there are great atrocities. The destruction during World
War II and the ethnic cleansing in neighboring countries are some
examples.
History has shown us examples of Dark Psychology in the world. As
explained above, Dark Psychology is topical and alive and kicking,
requiring a genuine discussion. As you continue to explore the principles
and basics of Dark Psychology, a psychological structure of understanding
will gradually emerge.
The Dark Continuum
The Dark Continuum is an essential part of understanding the dark side of
humanity. The Dark Continuum is a hypothetical logical line or concentric
circles that lie in all corrupt criminals and cruel behavior.
The Dark Continuum contains thoughts, emotions, observations, and
activities that are experienced or possibly commanded by people.
The continuum varies from calm to extreme and from goal-oriented to
aimless.
Physical features of Dark Psychology fall on one side of the Dark
Continuum and are becoming increasingly extreme. Mental appearances of
Dark Psychology lie on one side of the continuum but can be just as
damaging as physical actions.
The Dark Continuum isn’t a scale of seriousness, but ranges from low to
more horrible, but includes typologies of victimization in the plans and
activities.
When this author further expands his theory of the dark continuum, you’ve
got a fairly represented line, describing all kinds of Dark Psychology that
range from calm and purposeful to dangerous and aimless.
The Dark Factor
The Dark Factor is characterized as the domain, place, and potential within
each of us, which is part of the human condition. This idea is one of the
more conceptual terms of Dark Psychology because it’s so difficult to
describe using the written form.
A factor means to contribute causally to an outcome; different elements
have determined effects. This author will try to extrapolate in a consistent
tone for you what Dark Factor looks like after a condition.
The Dark Factor is an exact condition, but a hypothetical one. The Dark
Factor is something that a person encounters, which increases the ability to
participate in violent behavior.
While research has found that young people experiencing abuse in a violent
family become abusers themselves, this doesn’t mean that every mistreated
child becomes violent. It’s just a single aspect of many experiences and
circumstances that contribute to the Dark Factor.
The number of components associated with the Dark Factor condition is
enormous. It’s not the number of parts that make Dark Factor
outrageous; however, these encounters affect a person’s emotional
processing makes the Dark Factor dangerous.
These aspects include hereditary traits, relational traits, psychological
insight, mutual acceptance, sensitive treatment, and developmental
achievements and experiences.
Human Interaction
Man is a social animal. We want to connect with others for help, prosperity,
and entertainment. But because our way of life is continuously evolving and
relies on sophisticated tools, these honest interactions are at risk. Nothing
compares to living in whole communities and investing real physical time
with our loved ones.
 CHAPTER 2

Why Is Human Interaction Important?

F or one specific, overriding reason, is human interaction essential—

it’s for our emotional wellbeing. Through human contact, we adapt
to pressure and radical changes in life, such as divorce, the birth of a
child, and moving home.
Realizing that others value us is an essential subconscious factor that helps
us overlook our lives’ negative sides and be more enthusiastic about our
current situation.
There’s compelling evidence that human contact is also fundamental to our
physical wellbeing.
In a 2010 report in the Journal of Health and Wellness and Social Behavior,
Debra Umberson and Jennifer Karas Montez, humanism analysts at the
University of Texas at Austin, referenced the connection of poor quality or
quantity of social bonds with a wide range of conditions, including
cardiovascular disease, repeated coronary episodes, immune system
problems, hypertension, cancer growth, and slow healing processes.
Four ways to improve the nature of your human connections
1. Use technology to encourage, not replace, social interaction.
Whatsapp and Facetime are great applications; however, a
relationship mainly dependent on electronic interaction is likely to
fail. Use technology to promote shared experiences as an essential
aspect of your family life.

2. Organize human interaction in both your professional and private

life: schedule time for regular meetings, as well as for casual meals
or a coffee. It’s expected that at these casual and informal encounters
that we learn the most.

3. Meet up with individuals who make you happy. Positivity is

infectious! Make time for friends or family with who you can share
a relaxed, fun time.
4. Join a support network, or create one. Offer help and support to the
people who need it.

Body Language
Body language refers to the nonverbal signs we use when communicating
with someone face-to-face. Our gestures, facial expressions, tone of voice,
the way we stand, walk, or sit can all reveal a great deal about our character,
our inner thoughts, and emotions.
Body language is said to represent between 60 and 65% of all
communication. Understanding body language is essential. However, we
must remember to consider everything in context.
Interpretation of Body Language
Facial Expression
Think about how much a person can convey with just their face. A smile
can show permission or joy. A frown can be a sign of fear or despair. In
many cases, our facial expressions can expose our real emotions about a
specific event. While you’re saying that you’re feeling well, the expression
on your face can tell a very different story.
Just some examples of emotions that can be communicated with facial
expressions are:
Joy
Pain
Insult
Shock
Disgust
Anxiety
Confusion
Enthusiasm
Desire
Hate
A person’s face can even help decide whether we trust or accept what the
person says. A study found that the most genuine facial expression included
a slight eyebrow lift and a small smile. Experts claim that this passes on
both happiness and confidence.
The facial expression also belongs to the universal body language
types. The look used to convey fear, anger, suffering, and content is similar
worldwide.
Expert Paul Ekman has discovered the universality of various facial
expressions related to specific feelings, including joy, anger, fear, shock,
and sadness.
Research suggests that we make decisions about individuals’ intelligence,
depending on their faces and expressions. A study found that people with
narrow faces and prominent noses would undoubtedly be considered
intelligent. Persons with a smiling, happy expression were also defined as
more intelligent than those with angry emotions.
The Eyes
Eyes are often called the “windows to the soul.” This suggests that we place
importance on them, allowing us to see their inner thoughts, feelings, and
character into someone’s mind.
During face-to-face interaction, observing someone’s eye movements can
significantly enhance our interpretation of that person and the
communication as a whole. Some things to look out for are if the person
often turns their eyes away, the duration of eye contact, or whether their
pupils dilate or not.
Focus on these:
Level and duration of eye contact: When someone looks directly at you
during a discussion, it shows that they’re interested and present in the
moment. However, delayed or infrequent contact may suggest reservation,
disinterest, or uncertainty. Often looking away and turning away from time
to time can show that they’re uncomfortable, distracted, or trying to hide
their genuine feelings. If the other person’s gaze is intense and unwavering,
it may mean that they’re trying to intimidate you.
Blinking: Blinking is, of course, normal; however, you should note whether
someone blinks excessively or too little. People tend to blink faster when
they feel angry or uncomfortable. Infrequent blinking can show that
a person is intentionally trying to control their eye movements. For
example, a poker player may blink less often because he deliberately wants
to appear unfazed by the hand he’s been dealt.
Pupil size: This can be a primary nonverbal communication signal. The
pupil (how dilated it is) can indicate if a person is feeling aroused, bored, or
tired.
The Mouth
Mouth expressions and movements can also be fundamental in effectively
reading body language. For example, biting the bottom lip can show that
the individual experiences stress, anxiety, or instability.
Covering the mouth can be an attempt to be polite when the person yawns
or is eating, but it can also be an attempt to hide an expression of fear.
A smile is perhaps one of the best signs of body language. However,
smiling can be interpreted in many ways: it can be genuine, or it can convey
false joy; it can be a sign of condescension; it can suggest playfulness, or it
can denote cynicism.
Lips and Mouth
Tightening the lips can be a sign of disgust, objection, or doubt.
Lip biting: Some people bite their lips when they’re concerned, scared, on
the verge of tears, listening, or focused.
Covering the mouth: When individuals need to hide an enthusiastic
response, they can cover their mouths to avoid grinning or smiling. This can
be disingenuous or a form of politeness.
Mouth turned up or down: Small changes in the mouth area can also
indicate what a person is feeling. The moment the mouth is turned up a
little, it can mean that the individual feels loved or is hopeful. On the other
hand, a slightly turned-down mouth can hint of misery, fear, or even
disapproval.
Gestures
Waving, pointing, and shrugging are, for the most part, ordinary gestures
that we use when communicating with other people.
Here are some examples of a few natural gestures and their possible
connections:
A clenched fist can show anger or solidarity in certain
circumstances.
Thumbs up or thumbs down are often used as approval or disapproval
signals.
The “OK” gestures, made by inserting the thumb and index finger in
contact with one another while broadening the other three fingers, can
also be used to indicate ”OK.” However, a similar sign is used in
some parts of Europe to suggest that you’re nothing. In some South
American countries, it’s an insult.
The V sign, made by the index and middle fingers to lift and isolate
them to create the V shape, implies harmony and victory in some
 countries. In the UK and Australia, it’s offensive when the back of the
hand is facing out.
The Arms and Legs
The arms and legs can also be valuable when communicating nonverbal
information. Crossing the arms can be seen as defensive. Crossing the legs
can show hatred or discomfort.
Extending out one’s arms could be a sign of intimidation while keeping
your arms close to your body could be seen as an attempt to draw attention
away from yourself.
Pay attention to:
Crossed arms can indicate that someone is feeling careful, self-
defensive, or closed off.
Hands-on-hips can signify that a person is in charge, but it can also be
a sign of aggressiveness.
Keeping your hands behind you can be a sign that you’re exhausted,
unwell, or even feeling angry.
Quickly tapping or squirming can indicate that a person is tired,
anxious, or frustrated.
Crossed legs can show that a person feels restrained or protected.
Attitude
The term refers to how we hold or carry our bodies. Attitude can convey an
abundance of information about how a person is feeling and insights into
personality traits.
For example, sitting upright can show that a person is involved and
concentrating on what’s happening. Sitting with the body leaning forward
can, in turn, infer that the individual is exhausted or detached.
While reading body language, try to focus on the signs that a person’s
posture can radiate:
Open posture means that the torso of the body remains open and
uncovered. This kind of attitude shows kindness, clarity, and
willingness.
 Closed posture means that the body’s torso is often covered by
hunching forward and keeping the arms and legs crossed. This kind of
attitude can signal unfriendliness, unpleasantness, or fear.
Proxemics
Have you noticed how different people have different ideas about personal
space?
The term proxemics, coined by anthropologist Edward T. Corridor, refers to
individuals’ distance while communicating. Just as body language and
facial expression can convey various nonverbal data, so can this physical
space between people.
Four degrees of social distance that occur under different circumstances:
Short Distance - 6 to 18 inches: This degree of physical distance often
shows a closer relationship or more prominent comfort between people. It
usually happens during intimate contact, such as hugging or kissing.
Personal Distance - 1.5 to 4 feet: The physical distance at this level usually
happens between individuals who are family members or close friends. The
closer the individuals feel at ease when communicating can be an indicator
of the degree of connection in their relationship.
Social Distance - 4 to 12 feet: Colleagues often use this degree of physical
separation. In situations where you don’t know the other person well, for
example, a postal worker you see once a month, a distance of 10 to 12 feet
may feel comfortable.
Public Distance - 12 to 25 feet: Physical range at this level is used regularly
throughout public speaking interactions. Talking in front of a class full of
students or giving a presentation at work are good examples.
It’s essential to note that the individual distance people need to feel
comfortable can vary from culture to culture. An example is a distinction
between individuals from Latin American and North American
communities. Individuals from Latin American countries will generally feel
it important to get closer together when working together, while people
from North America need to be further apart.
Understanding body language can help you talk to others and interpret what
they’re trying to convey. It’s imperative to look at these nonverbal cues that
correspond to verbal communication, other nonverbal symbols, and the
circumstances they’re communicating.
You can also focus on becoming familiar with improving your nonverbal
communication to get better at expressing what you feel—without having to
say a word.
 CHAPTER 3

Persuasion

D o you have an idea about what persuasion could mean? Some

people might think of an advert on TV in which a celebrity is
endorsing the latest perfume brand. On the other hand, others may
think of a politician at a rally, trying to get voters to tick their name on the
ballot paper.
Persuasion is an all-pervasive force in everyday life and affects us as
individuals and society as a whole. Politics, ethics, mass media, social
media, and advertisements are all influenced by persuasion.

Under most circumstances, we like to think that we’re indifferent to

persuasion, that we know our own minds, and can’t be made to do or say
anything that we wouldn’t want to or choose to do ourselves.
We believe that we know when someone is trying to persuade us to do
something. That may be valid in certain situations, but persuasion doesn’t
just mean a pushy salesman trying to sell you a third-rate vehicle or a TV ad
tempting you to buy something you’ll probably only ever use
once. Persuasion can be more stealth, more subtle than that, and how we
respond to its effects can rely on several components.
When we think of persuasion, it tends to have negative connotations, but
influence can also be used positively. Government campaigns that
encourage individuals to quit smoking are an excellent example of how
persuasion can improve people’s lives.
What’s Persuasion?
In The Dynamics of Persuasion, Richard M. Perloff describes persuasion as
”a symbolic process in which communicators try to convince other people
to change their attitudes or behavior regarding an issue through the
transmission of a message, in an atmosphere of free choice.”
The critical components of persuasion, according to Perloff, are:
It involves the transmission of a message (verbal or nonverbal).
It’s a symbolic process.
It involves an attempt to influence.
People persuade themselves.
It requires free-choice.
Coercion
Coercion is very different from persuasion in that it’s the practice of getting
someone to do something against their will, usually by threats or by force.
The perpetrator won’t be carrying out their actions for the victim’s benefit;
it’s merely for selfish means.
Coercion can have deadly consequences. The person who takes control of
their victim usually won’t stop until they get what they want. And if they
can’t get what they want, they may see the victim as entirely disposable.
Coercion Tactics
How do the persuaders carry out their tactics? That depends on what they
want and who they’re trying to get it from.
They’ll usually first “soften up” their victim and get them to be more
suggestible. They’ll then try to control the victim through their social
environment, usually by isolating them from their family and friends. They
may try to “break down” the individual and make them reinterpret their
whole idea of “self.” The victim will be made to feel an overwhelming
sense of powerlessness and will suffer punishments if the persuader’s
demands aren’t met. Finally, the use of intimidation, such as threats of
violence, will “seal the deal” in terms of the persuader succeeding in getting
what they want.
 Reading Visual Cues and Other
Behavior
When someone closes their eyes while talking to you
It could be that they’re trying to hide something from you, and you need to
look out for other tell-tale signs that they could be being dishonest.
However, some people close their eyes while talking to go “inside”
themselves to better connect with their thoughts and feelings. Therefore, it
could just mean that they’re thinking.
When someone covers their mouth with one hand
You tend to cover your mouth if you don’t want to share something with
someone. It’s like a literal barrier between your words and the outside
world. Sometimes, this is also achieved by fake coughing.
When someone chews the arms of their glasses
This can be a sign that someone is nervous, scared, or needs to be cheered
up. Chewing our glasses, a pen, or even a cigarette is a throwback to when
we were nursed by our mother; it gives us comfort.
When someone cups their face
Usually, this is a sign used to seduce someone. Often, when we put our chin
on our hands, we’re presenting ourselves and saying, “This is me!” So, if
you’re talking to someone you like, and they make this gesture, try your
luck—chances are, they’re into you too!
When someone rubs their chin
This is a sign of someone undecided or faced with a choice they’re not sure
about. They barely know where they are and are completely lost in their
thoughts.
When they crossed their arms
This is a defensive gesture; the person is closing themselves off from other
people and the world. Sometimes it’s done out of annoyance, sometimes
uncertainty, and occasionally pure contempt.
When they lean forward
If we like someone and want to make eye contact with them, we’ll lean
towards them. Even if the legs aren’t moving forward, the body will
automatically lean forward.
When they lean back in their chair
This usually means that they’re bored or disengaged. Sometimes, it can be a
sign of shock at what they’ve just been told.
When someone jiggles their feet up and down
This is done when someone is nervous, impatient, or anxious.
When they rub their hands together
It’s said that the hands always pass on what’s going on in the head. When
someone rubs their hands together, it usually means that they’re feeling
optimistic, or confident, or joyful.
When they put their hand on your’s
If while talking to someone, and they sense that you’re unhappy or sad, and
they touch you on your hand or wrist, it usually means that they’re
empathetic and that you can trust them.
When they give you a top-handed handshake
Their hand is placed horizontally, and therefore on top of yours. This means
that the person is asserting their authority or that they feel superior to you.
The same can also be said for people who squeeze too hard when they’re
shaking your hand or hold onto it for too long.
When a man touches his tie
The meaning of this sign depends on the circumstance. Touching the tie is a
form of self-soothing and could indicate that the man has seen a woman he
likes, feels uncomfortable, he’s lying, or that he wants to get out of the
situation.
When someone picks at hair or dust that isn’t there
People do this to express that they’re upset, but they don’t want to show it.
When they put their feet on the table or desk
This type of gesture can signify many different things: bad manners, trying
to show who’s boss, being disrespectful, feeling relaxed, or even just trying
to rest their legs. Even if you feel comfortable doing this, it’s probably best
not to do it outside the comfort of your own home because of its many
negative connotations.
When someone sits on their chair like it’s a horse
Obviously, the chair isn’t a horse, but this seated position can signify an
attempt to look strong and in control. They may do this because they feel
threatened or to simply assert their authority.
When a woman plays with her shoe on her foot
She’s probably doing this to draw attention to her legs. It could signify that
she’s interested in the person she’s talking to and that she’s comfortable
with herself.
Eye contact
The eyes are the mirror of the soul and a great way to communicate. A
person can understand and read the emotional states and feelings of a
person by “reading” their eyes.
People who love each other gaze into each other’s eyes, hoping to see
dilated pupils, indicating that someone is aroused or interested. When a
person is irritated or is disinterested, their pupils get very small. By looking
into someone’s eyes, you’ll get a better idea as to what they think of you.
Be objective and flexible
Never prejudge people. When you first meet someone, go in with an open
mind. Your feelings and past experience can influence your impressions and
perceptions of people. If you judge people too quickly, it’ll lead you to all
kinds of misconceptions. Be objective in every communication, interaction,
and situation.
You don’t get the full story about someone from just their words. You need
to gather all the evidence—verbal and nonverbal cues—to get a better idea
about a person and where they’re coming from.
Pay attention to their appearance
Look at how someone is presenting themselves through their clothing and
accessories. Are they dressed for success, indicating that they’re
determined, self-assured, and driven? Or are they dressed casually in a T-
shirt and jeans, showing that they’re relaxed or ready for a good time?
Do they have a pendant around their neck that signals their beliefs? Do they
have tattoos or piercings? How have they done their hair?
How people express themselves in their daily dress can say a lot about their
character and philosophy to life.
Pay attention to people’s attitudes
A person’s attitude, the way they carry themselves, says a lot about their
personality. If they keep their heads held high, it indicates that they have
confidence. If they walk indecisively or slouch, it could be a sign of low
morale.
We need to notice and observe people’s physical movements; people tend to
express their emotional state through their actions.
Interpreting facial expressions
Unless you’re a true master of the poker face, your feelings will come
through to your face. Accordingly, there are plenty of facial expressions to
look out for to get a better insight into other people.
Deep frown lines suddenly emerging means the person is concerned or
thinking deeply.
Pursed lips can signal anger, contempt, or bitterness. Also, a clenched jaw
and teeth are signs of tension.
A pleasant, genuine smile means that the lips are pulled straight up, some
teeth show, and creases appear around the eyes.
Small talk
A brief conversation about something inconsequential helps you detect how
a person behaves under normal circumstances. You can then use it as a
default to accurately identify any behavior that deviates from their normal
baseline.
 CHAPTER 4

Psychotherapy Isn’t Harmful: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

T he organized nature of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and the

apparent end values based on the relationships between minds,
emotional state, and behavior make it relatively simple
for physicians to use and ensure its standardized distribution.
CBT has revolutionized mental health, allowing psychologists to turn the
alchemical treatment into a discipline. There’s now a significant sign that
CBT is as real or complementary as medication for many mental
illnesses. It’s like any analysis procedure; CBT isn’t affected by the risk of
unwanted side effects.
A new paper in Cognitive Therapy and Investigation plans the nature and
occurrence of these undesirable things, based on organized meetings with
200 analysts trained in CBT. It’s what psychoanalysts need to know when
informing their patients about the future benefits and risks of treatment.
The researchers asked each CBT therapist, 78% of whom were female,
usually 32 years old, with five years of knowledge, to remember their
newest client who’d attended at least ten sessions of CBT. The selected
customers often identified unhappiness, nervousness, and some form of
complaint about their character.
Psychotherapists regularly reported 4.7 unsolicited events per client. Based
on the psychotherapists, which are his descriptions, the investigator then
appreciated the likelihood that unwanted individual cases are directly
attributable to the healing mode while yielding an actual lateral outcome;
only those considered to be related to the treatment were recognized as
such.
Most researchers predicted that 4% of clients had experienced at least one
undesired side effect of CBT, an average of up to 0.17 per client who often
suffers, worsens, and becomes overburdened by family members.
More than 40% of the side effects were rated severe and very apparent, and
more than a quarter lasted for weeks and months. However, the mainstream
was insignificant for fair and volatile. ”Psychotherapy isn’t harmless,” the
researchers said. There was no warning that any of the assets resulted from
a repeat of the principle.
Examples of severe side effects included suicidality, fragmentation, family
members’ unwanted reaction, removal of family members, ghosts of shame
and blame, and desperate and expressive problems at meetings.
Dark NLP
These disciplines have long been the secret of many. Some of the most
devastating insights into the human mind are hidden in the pages of
scientific journals.
Proven ways to reveal your deepest desires and keep up to date with their
pursuit are quickly escalated for you. It’s perhaps the best chance to control
your life once and for all. Act now before anyone else does.
 HYPNOSIS AS BEHAVIOR AND COGNITIVE
THERAPY
The goals of this psychological intervention should be:
1. To eliminate any pain, or more often significantly lower;
2. Do this work without accumulation of side effects, namely, an
increase in pain level or a decrease in patient activity;
3. Strengthen the impact of other treatments the patient receives;
4. Ensure the patient can use all of this themselves so that they’re
much more confident and less dependent on his medical and
psychological environment.

Making the patient active and giving them a sense of control in the care
process is a fundamental part of approaches such as hypnosis.
We define painful experience as continuity between perception and
interpretation of the subject. Pain is both a sensation and an emotional
experience, and pain is always subjective.
This cerebral culmination of the painful feeling explains the different
characteristics of suffering experienced differently by each individual in a
strictly personal way.
Psychological techniques require a lot of time and effort from both the
patient and the doctor.
Nevertheless, they’re an essential part of pain therapies’ arsenal, especially
when confronted with these painful conditions that are rebellious for
pharmacological treatments.
We’ll succinctly define what the cognitive approach is and then the
behavioral approach under these psychological approaches. The clinical
hypnosis in the pain center of the University Hospital of Rouen fits into
these two dimensions.
COGNITIVE APPROACHES
Cognitive techniques are concerned with inner speech, internal dialogue,
the monologue that accompanies and often precedes action.
They’re intended to suppress or reduce the patient’s anxiety and depression.
To approach what they consider to be a dysfunction of thinking, the
therapist must somehow enter the world of the patient’s representations,
adjust what the subject says to themselves, and lead them to stick to more
realistic inner words.
Asking questions about their “pain” will be a crucial moment. In essence,
the disease’s meaning, the uncertainty about its evolution (functional
disability, fear of death) are all factors that’ll modulate the
affective component of pain.
However, to give it therapeutic efficacy, it’s common to use behavioral
methods in which this restructuring of thinking takes place from tasks
presented to the subject.
THE BEHAVIORIST APPROACH
With fruitful results and following Pavlov’s work and then Skinner’s, it
forms a coherent system, the cornerstone of which is the concept of
reinforcement.
A symptom is considered “learned,” but inappropriate behavior; an effort
will, therefore, be made to replace it with a better-adapted response.
For example, the positive reinforcement factors can be summarized with the
following formula: “When I suffer and only when I suffer, I receive interest
and understanding from others (medical care, rest, attention of loved ones,
financial compensation, the care of therapists, all positive reinforcing
factors).”
Reinforcing negative factors can be expressed as follows: “When I’m in
pain, I avoid difficult situations (at work, in a relationship, etc.).”
The conditioned reflex is a cornerstone of behaviorism. The human nervous
system learns through repetition, and learning is a design process in people.
When a specific event has occurred, mental impressions are formed, which
promote recurrence under similar circumstances. Likewise, emotional
affairs are conditioned. The stored feelings can be displayed indefinitely
throughout life as if they were old recordings.
This automatic replay continues until we highlight our events at these
events and rearrange our order in the past, erasing the recordings that have
become useless.
According to Milton H. Erickson, old and persistent pain in any part of the
body can lead to all feelings in this area being interpreted as painful. The
initial pain may have disappeared a long time ago. Still, the recurring
experience of this initial pain leads to the formation of a habit that, in turn,
can lead to painful and somatic disorders.
The operant conditioning techniques are based on the observation that
intricate behavioral patterns can be changed using rewards
and punishments.
Hypnosis acts on our feelings and sensations, it modifies our cognitive
patterns, and provides us with different behaviors to pain.
 THE USE OF HYPNOSIS IN THE
TREATMENT OF PAIN

The use of hypnosis in medicine is ancient. But let’s go back to the 19th
century when doctors started to consider the patient’s pain and tried to fix
it.
Their research goes in two directions: a psychological or psychophysical
approach, such as animal magnetism, and then hypnosis. At that time,
several surgical procedures were performed under anesthesia, such as
mental analgesia. At the same time, pharmacological solutions were
discovered.
The use of nitrous oxide was revealed in the 19th century as anesthesia and
ether by Morton and Jackson. Simpson used chloroform to help Queen
Victoria during her third and fourth deliveries. Around the same time,
Corning devoted a series of works to the epidural.
Until recently, the French public and the medical world avoided hypnosis,
mainly because of a lack of knowledge stimulated by shows in the music
hall and the anathema caused by psychoanalysts. In the Anglo-Saxon world
and the countries of the East, hypnosis was taught at universities and used
in medicine and psychology.
Definition of hypnosis
It’s a unique mental state with specific physiological characteristics. It
resembles a sleep-like state and is distinguished by the person’s action with
a different degree of consciousness than the standard condition of
knowledge.
An increase in susceptibility and sensitivity describes this condition; our
inner perception is just as imaginative as a general rule.
Two allegories to delineate the trance-like state: “a waking
visionary/dreamer,” he checks his visualization; and “an alert sleeper,” he
seems to have a relaxed sleep, but with an intensely active
imagination.
At this time, several miracles can happen, suddenly in the subject or
suggested by the hypnotherapist, such as:
A work about memory: remembering, sometimes missing;
Time twist: narrowing or extending the time;
Movement in age: make projections later or later you see yourself;
A relapse: returning to the past;
Sedation: losing feeling;
A presence of pain: the experience of the disappearance of torment

The enchanting act

Therefore, each hypnotic session has two perspectives: the subject’s
relationship with the trance specialist and the psychophysiological changes
they achieve in the issue.
The social perception that the hypnotist has complete control is false. A
functioning state is enchanting. It’s a state where several miracles
happen; however, nothing happens without the patient’s coordinated
effort. The latter will recognize following our proposition to the extent that
it allows for itself and with its ethics.
Hypnotherapy is a relationship. The subject must believe in the actions of
the specialist. The ability to be hypnotized depends on the simplicity with
which an individual can absorb an external stimulus and become one with
it.
Numerous techniques have been used to induce a trance-like state. Their
motivation is to establish the treatment of the subject and, in this
way, narrow their area of consciousness.
Hypnotic work in the treatment of pain
Applications
The applications of this hypnotic capacity are numerous. In
obstetrics, we can use hypnotic analgesia in preparation for childbirth. In
surgery, hypnotic suggestion can replace chemical anesthesia in some rare,
if not exceptional cases; in all cases, it constitutes a psychological factor
that promotes relaxation conducive to anesthesia and promotes post-
operative awakening.
It can, therefore, be used to prepare a patient for surgery and to reduce post-
operative pain. In dental care, the intervention is greatly facilitated by
analgesia’s suggestions: almost all attention is feasible in subjects capable
of hypnotic analgesia. For the treatment of burns victims, the use of
hypnosis can be significant.
Two options for hypnotic treatment depend on the type of pain (chronic or
acute):
1. Either learning, over several sessions, to reduce or avoid the pain.
2. An external method, built during a GP consultation or at the
dentist’s, or even extreme care in the hospital.

Using hypnosis for chronic pain

For chronic pain patients, the goal of hypnosis treatment is to realize that
they can respond to their pain, gain control and relieve anxiety, and
rearrange their lives by interpreting the nociceptive stimulus.
If the hypnotic state’s induction can occur in all patients, hypnotic
suggestions regarding pain, memory, or other psychological functions are
chosen based on the patient’s speech.
From the language of the patient and the description of their pain, the
hypnotherapist has a large number of possible indications:
With analgesia, you can keep sensations without pain: “With
analgesia, you create a kind of excitement, no loss of touch, no loss of
pressure sensation, no loss of kinesthetic feeling,
no damage other than the pain itself.”
Fractionation represents the gradual reduction in pain: “You can
continue to feel more comfortable with each exhalation, almost as if
the discomfort is something that gradually fades away.”
The dissociation moves the mind away from the body or the painful
part of the rest of the body: “You leave your body here, your mind
can travel, you’re at home, elsewhere ...”
Amnesia is about memories of past pain: “The best way to deal with
unpleasant feelings is to forget them, like when you go to the movies
and get completely absorbed in the drama, you forget your headache
...”
The distortion of time will shorten the time of the painful crises: “Let
your body appreciate these rest periods, which get longer and longer
...”
The sensory replacement replaces the painful sensation with an
always uncomfortable feeling, but more acceptable: “The sensations
you describe ... can change surprisingly ... Instead of this burning
sensation, your body may experience numbness ...”
 PERSUASION, MANIPULATION, MIND
CONTROL, AND THE SUBCONSCIOUS MIND

Persuasion
In general, we tend to believe that persuasion, and thus the techniques of
which it’s composed, is used for manipulative, selfish
reasons; however, this isn’t entirely true. For example, sometimes it’s
required to seal a deal at work, have good, meaningful friendships, and get
someone to change their habits to improve their lifestyle. It can be used for
good, positive, productive reasons and have beneficial outcomes for many
people.
Persuasion can be seen as an art, a talent, and one you can develop with the
right tips and knowledge. It’s generally a force for good—a prosocial tool.
It tends to advance the positions of everyone involved—both the persuader
and the person being persuaded.
Manipulation
On the other hand, manipulation is very different from persuasion—it’ll
harm the person being subjected to it. Manipulation is used to trick, control,
or coerce the other person into doing or thinking something they ordinarily
wouldn’t do or believe.
Manipulating someone isn’t quick and easy. It consists of closing the victim
off mentally, socially, and physically from their family, friends, and the rest
of the world. In other words, the individual becomes vulnerable, defenseless
prey.
With less and less contact with other people, and with their life now limited
to being at the manipulator’s beck and call, the victim doesn’t have that
many options to choose from. Their sense of self and self-worth and their
capacity to think for themselves will be severely diminished. They’ll feel
trapped and entirely dependent on their manipulator.
Anyone has the potential to manipulate, but most choose not to do so. A
person who decides to carry out such acts will be prepared to set aside any
qualms about hurting other people or using devious, ruthless means to get
what they want.
The manipulator’s groundwork
A manipulator will initially carry out the following to “hook” and “reel in”
their victim:
Feign friendliness: The manipulator will pretend to be friendly and pleasant.
They’ll intentionally hide the darker sides to their character, such as
aggressiveness.
Getting to know the victim: The manipulator will be attentive and listen
closely to what their victim tells them about themselves. They’ll create a
bond with their victim to get them to open up and reveal their
vulnerabilities (which the manipulator will then exploit). The victim will
probably find them charming and a good listener.
Ways a manipulator controls their victim
The victim will often find themselves involved in a merry-go-round of
emotions and positive reinforcement (praise, gift-giving, excessive
apologizing, fake sympathy, fake smiles, etc.) and negative reinforcement
(removing them from a negative situation as a reward) from the
manipulator.
The aim of using these tactics is to gain complete control over their victim.
They’ll eventually wear the victim down emotionally, psychologically, and
physically. The victim will be left feeling vulnerable (yet dependent on their
manipulator), fearful, with low self-esteem and a lack of sense of self.
Some other ways that the manipulator uses control are:
- Creating a climate of fear or doubt: by partial or intermittent
negative reinforcement.
- Punishment: usually verbal abuse or emotional blackmail.
- Traumatic one-trial learning: using intimidation to establish
dominance. Even just one such instance can be so traumatic that
the victim learns to avoid upsetting their manipulator.
- Lying.
 - Refusal to admit they’ve done something wrong (will usually
place the blame on the victim).
- Rationalizing and minimizing their bad behavior.
- Selective attention or disattention (according to their own
agenda).
- Diversion/evasion tactics in conversations (won’t give straight
answers/will avoid giving answers).
- Covert intimidation, such as veiled threats which makes the
victim feel vulnerable.
- Guilt-tripping to make the victim feel sorry for their manipulator
or feel guilty.
- Verbal shaming.
- Vilifying the victim/playing the victim.
- Blaming others/creating scapegoats.
- Pretending to be confused/innocent if their victim confronts them
about something.
- Controlled anger: feigning anger to get the victim to do what they
want.
- Peer pressure/bandwagon effect: convincing the victim to do
something because many other people have done it before.
The victims
What part of us makes us susceptible to the actions of master manipulators?
Manipulators tend to seek out people that they think possess certain
character traits/vulnerabilities that they can exploit for their own ends.
These include:
- Being a people-pleaser and caring about what other people think
of them.
- Emotophobia: the fear of expressing negative emotions, such as
fear, anger, etc.
- Lack of assertiveness.
- Low sense of self (self-identity) and low self-confidence.
- Co-dependency on others.
- Naïve and too trusting of others.
 - Over-intellectualization: they try too hard to understand their
manipulator and rationalize their behavior and motives.
- Lonely.
- Narcissistic: they respond to the manipulator’s initial attempts at
flattery.
- Altruistic.
- Greedy: they’ll fall for the manipulator’s tactics if they think that
there’s something for them to gain in the material sense.
- The elderly.
What motivates a manipulator
Unlike its more benign cousin, persuasion, manipulation doesn’t tend to be
used for positive social influence. In most cases, it’s used for purely
individual gains, whether that be material, psychological, or physical.
Sometimes, it’s purely done for “kicks.”
Let’s take a look at some possible motives:
- The desire to get what they want, no matter the personal cost to
other people.
- The need for power and control over others.
- Boredom.
- A covert agenda, such as criminal activity.
- Underlying emotional issues, such as fear of commitment.
- Lack of self-control regarding antisocial behavior: manipulation is
a form of damage control.
- Psychopathy.
- In the workplace: sometimes used by people to instill fear or
disharmony or climb up the ranks.
- Personality disorders: people with antisocial, borderline, and
narcissistic personality disorders share traits that include
exceptional abilities to deceive and manipulate. Lack of empathy
and impulsivity are also common. Sufferers may use manipulative
tactics to gain control, power, revenge, or material rewards.
- Histrionic personality disorder: despite having good social skills
and usually functioning well in both their personal and
professional lives, sufferers from this disorder tend to use their
 capabilities to manipulate others so that they’re the center of
attention.
- Machiavellianism: a person’s tendency to lack empathy,
sympathy, conventional morality, and being prone to deception and
manipulation.
 CHAPTER 5

Influencing People Using Persuasion

D o you have a fantastic business idea that you need to pitch? Are you
trying to get people to RSVP to your event, but to no avail? Or do
you want to find a way to avoid getting scammed by dishonest
salespeople?
Dr. Robert Cialdini’s research into the science of persuasion led him to
identify six principles that guide human behavior. These principles can be
used ethically to increase the chances of influencing someone through
persuasion.
Cialdini’s principles of persuasion are:
1. Reciprocity
Give, and you shall receive is the thinking behind this principle. People feel
obligated to give back to others if they’ve received a gift, a favor, an offer,
or a service. Costco, for example, uses this tactic in their stores. They’ll
often give out free samples of certain food items, knowing that the customer
will return the favor by either buying the product or returning to the store in
the future.
2. Scarcity
People want more of what they can’t have.
Making something seem unique, rare, or limited increases its appeal
tenfold. People don’t want to feel like they’re going to miss out on a
product, service, or opportunity.
3. Authority
People will listen to those who they believe are credible, knowledgeable
experts on something.
The Milgram experiment studied obedience to authority figures.
Participants were randomly selected to either be the “learner” or the
“teacher.” In fact, the “learner” participants were Milgram’s own colleagues
pretending to be real participants.
The learner had (fake) electrodes attached to their arms, while the teacher
and researcher went into another room that contained a (fake) electric shock
generator.
The teacher was then to test the learner on a list of pair words that they’d
been given to memorize. The teacher was told to administer an electric
shock every time the learner made a mistake and increase the voltage with
each error. Whenever the teacher refused to issue a shock, they were urged
to do so by the researcher. In this instance, the teacher viewed the
researcher as an authority figure. They were dressed in a lab coat,
signifying their position as a qualified scientist.
The results were shocking; the vast majority of participants continued to
deliver electric shocks at the researcher’s urging.
The Milgram experiment proves the power of authority. We look up to
people we perceive as more knowledgeable, more experienced, and more
qualified than us.
4. Consistency
People like to be consistent with things they’ve committed to doing
previously. Often, consistency is best achieved by getting people to put their
commitment down in writing.
5. Likability
This is perhaps the most obvious; the more you like someone, the more
likely it is that you’ll do something for them.
According to Cialdini, how much we like someone depends on three
factors:
- Their similarity to us.
- How complimentary they are towards us.
- How much they show cooperation with us towards mutual goals.
Other ways you can up your likeability factor:
Be engaging.
Be attentive.
Keep in contact and follow-up with people.
6. Consensus
“If others are doing it, it must be good.” Particularly if people are uncertain,
they’ll look around them to see what other people are doing. Tip jars rarely
get money put into them if there isn’t already some in there. So, restaurants
and street buskers will make sure to already put some change into their jars
before starting work.

These principles can be applied by people in both professional and personal

settings. Persuasion, if used ethically, can be for the mutual benefit of all
involved.
 A BRIEF INTRODUCTION TO MIND
CONTROL AND MARKETING

As we’ve discovered, there’s a science behind persuasion. In the 1980s,

Dr. Robert Cialdini wrote the book Influence. The Psychology of
Persuasion outlining the principles guiding how people can influence or be
influenced.
Since then, it’s become an essential book in the field of marketing and
promotion. We could even stretch so far as to call marketing a form of
“mind control.”
All the marketer has to do is get someone to say “Yes,” and then they’ve
done their job. And the methods in which they can do this can all be learned
here.
Do the customer’s thinking for them
People have already got enough on their plates that don’t need anything else
added to the pot. So, when you present something to them and say, “Think
it over, I’ll get back to you,” chances are, they won’t.
Instead, be proactive, creative, and do pretty much everything for them
except for signing on the dotted line.
For example, if you want a testimonial from a customer, chances are they’re
going to be too busy to make it their priority. However, if you send them a
couple of templates to choose from, which they can then personalize, they’ll
be more likely to complete that little task for you. They’re going to say yes
because you’ve done pretty much all the thinking for them.
Start an avalanche
In other words, work as hard as you can to get your first “Yes,” because
once you’ve got it, you’ll find that it has a snowball effect that’ll eventually
lead to an avalanche of yeses. It’s the opposite of the strategy many
promoters use—working from the bottom up—but will be doubly effective
in a shorter amount of time.
One example of this would be getting an Instagram influencer to promote
your product. It’ll probably be a nightmare at first, trying to reach out to her
and get her to become involved. But once she says yes, your product will be
presented to thousands and thousands of potential customers.
Ask for an inch, take a mile
Yes, you read that correctly. What this means is when you ask for
something, don’t ask for all of it upfront. It offers both you and the
customer more of a risk-free, relaxed commitment, which makes them more
likely to give the initial “Yes.”
For example, if you want your customers to give testimonials, start off by
asking them for just a 1-3 sentence piece of content. You can then start
gradually asking for a bit more until you’ll find that you’re able to convince
them to do a full-on webinar for you.
Always have a real deadline
And this means real. No, “I need your answer by the end of this week
because I’ve got a lot of other clients who’re interested.” You’re not fooling
anyone with that line. When it sounds like you’re bluffing, your customer is
less likely to want to do business with you.
Instead, make it clear that there’s a real deadline and that the client needs to
act sooner rather than later. For example, if promoting a special offer on
your website, don’t just put “Special offer, get it while stocks last!” write,
“Special offer until May 30, act fast!”
Give more than you take
The ratio here shouldn’t be 1:1; it should be 10:1. This goes for value, as
well as for action.
For example, to get one all-important customer testimonial, do ten amazing
acts of customer service. Generosity breeds generosity.
Stand for something bigger than yourself
Make sure you’re doing something which benefits more than just yourself
or your business. Use your platform, your influence, to do good. Of course,
this has the added benefit in that it draws people closer to you. Potential
clients will want to get involved in helping you spread the word.
For example, instead of just writing another blog post, take an issue close to
your heart, and use your creativity and platform to spread awareness.
Shamelessness
This means that you totally believe in what you’re doing, and you’ll stop at
nothing to spread the word and get people involved. It involves tireless
promotion and dogged determination. But it’s what you’ve got to do
because this is about bringing your vision, your dream, alive.
So, there we have it. Using the skills of persuasion, mind control, influence
—whatever you want to call it—can help you promote yourself or your
business. And the best thing about it? There’s no manipulation, there’s no
deceit. Just a little bit of hard work and perseverance on your side, and a
satisfying pay-off for everyone involved.
 CHAPTER 6

Mind Control and Our Subconscious

O ur subconscious knows the sources of our happiness; our conscious

mind is often not capable of the same. We need our subconscious
and conscious minds to work together to indeed find happiness and
fulfillment.
The subconscious is where our attitudes, emotions, and outlook on life are
held, so we can use it to focus on what’s essential by gaining control of it.
We’ll be able to rid ourselves of our fears, our negativity, and all the things
holding us back from reaching our full potential.
Often negative emotions like fear, loss of hope, loss of faith in people
prevent us from focusing on the positives. They stop us from attaining
happiness in our lives.
Once we can control our subconscious mind, we can control our mind and
ourselves.
Mind control techniques:
The following are some mind control techniques that you can practice to
help improve your life.
1. Visualization
If we imagine or visualize we’re achieving success, we can train our minds
to work towards achieving it. It works for sports athletes, and it can work
for you, too.
2. Meditation
Meditation is one of the oldest mind-control techniques. It works by
calming the mind and emptying it of all thoughts. In that space, peace and
tranquility will enter. Meditation quietens that nagging voice in our head
and gives the subconscious mind a voice instead.
Scientific studies show that the mind’s production of alpha waves peaks
after mediation. These waves enrich inventive and positive
thinking. Through meditation, the brain can focus on the present.
3. Positive self-talk
You can either be your best friend or your worst enemy. Negative self-talk
becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you don’t respect yourself, who else is
going to?
Talk to yourself like you’d a friend or a loved one: speak positively, use
encouraging words, make yourself feel good. Your mind will feed on this
and focus on what’s achievable, and work toward that goal.
4. Self-hypnosis
Self-hypnosis and the repetition of one mantra work like meditation: it frees
your mind of unnecessary thought and allows you to focus.
5. Goals and continuous self-evaluation
Writing down our goals makes them more real. By continuously reviewing
our goals and the progress we’re making to achieve them, we’ll be able to
make the necessary changes. By assessing the progress made, you can keep
your goal constant and stay positive.
***
Mind management techniques are used effectively to cure various
conditions, relieve acute pain, and reduce stress. They can significantly help
in keeping your mind uncluttered, positive, and focused.
The wonderful thing is, these techniques can be learned at any time in our
lives and can be practiced daily in the comfort of our own homes.
Most success stories relate in some way or another to the application of
mind control techniques. As you’ve already read, by harnessing the power
of the subconscious mind, we can directly influence the quality of our life.
Nothing in life is more satisfying than relaxing in the freedom and
awareness that you’re using your mind to its full potential and that you’re
truly connected to your inner self.
As we’ve seen, this isn’t achieved by trickery. It’s done using techniques to
empty your mind of unnecessary, negative thoughts and replace them with
grounded, positive ones.
It’s best to stick to a daily routine of practicing your preferred mode of
mind control to ensure you achieve and maintain clarity and the right
perspective. The realm of a person’s subconscious mind is analogous to that
of a giant sponge. It absorbs each and every experience we’ve ever
encountered—good or bad.
The subconscious supports whether we realize success in our life or not.
While you work to implement your mind control techniques, you’re ready
to clear out the old, “useless” knowledge and replace it with a new state of
mind. Think of it as your mental warehouse, where you can store all the
tools and information to help you achieve your
goals.
It’s a unique way to guarantee success with the freedom of mind that you’ve
always wanted. You can be confident that the results won’t only be
exceptional—they’ll be life-changing. Try it and reap the benefits. You’ve
nothing to lose except negativity and everything to gain.
Mind control techniques to be aware of
We’ve discussed how we can use mind control on ourselves to infinitely
improve our own lives. However, others can use mind control techniques on
us that can destroy our lives.
The following techniques can be used by individuals in interpersonal
settings such as a romantic relationship and in group settings, such as
religious cults. We must all be aware of these mind control methods, as we
run the risk of manipulation and abuse if they manage to take hold of us.
Isolation
Even if physical isolation isn’t possible, a manipulator can emotionally
isolate their victim. Their aim is to limit the amount of outside information
that their victim is receiving. They’ll talk badly about the victim’s friends
and family, reduce access to social events, and may even control what the
victim can read or watch on TV.
Criticism
This will be aimed at everyone except the manipulator. They want to create
an image of themselves as superior and dominant. It’s an “us vs. them”
mentality.
Social proof and peer pressure
This is usually done in group settings and could be used to brainwash
newcomers. It works using the notion, “If so-and-so does it, it must be
right.” It’s particularly effective on people who’re already quite vulnerable,
unconfident, or without a clear sense of identity.
Fear of alienation
None of us want to feel alone or isolated from the rest of society. This
technique works when groups welcome newcomers with open arms,
establishing quick and profound relationships with them. Even when the
newcomer starts to have doubts, they won’t vocalize or act on them for fear
of being rejected by the group.
Repetition
This is the repetition of a message over and over again. Simple yet
effective, especially when combined with social proof. It works (albeit for a
very different purpose) like the affirmations we give ourselves every day.
Fatigue
When you’re mentally and physically tired, you’re less alert and more
likely to give in to attempts at persuasion.

Create a new identity

This is the manipulator’s end goal. They want to strip you of your past life
and your sense of self and identity. Essentially, they want to mold you into
who they think you should be.
***
Reverse Psychology
Now let’s take a look at another example of mind control that I’m sure
we’ve all used at one point or another in our lives. It’s commonly used by
parents to get their kids to do something.
The key is to not be too obvious while you’re doing it. And importantly,
you need to take an honest look at yourself and ask why you’re doing it. It’s,
after all, a form of manipulation. Certainly not like what we’ve just read,
but it’s about influencing other people to get what you want. So, be mindful
of your motives.
Reverse psychology doesn’t work on everyone, and that’s because we can
be divided up into two types of people: compliant or resistant.
As you can guess, resistant people are the ones that reverse psychology
struggles with. They’re less likely to follow direction, they’ll question
things, they may be jaded or cynical, and perhaps quite dogmatic in their
thinking. So, you may need to try harder (or give up) when you realize
you’re dealing with someone resistant.
And remember: this technique should not at any point involve you trying to
take away someone’s free-will from them. That’s Dark Psychology stuff
that you really don’t want to be getting involved with.
Now that you’ve looked at your motives (and found them to be honorable),
and you’ve determined whether or not you’re likely to have any success,
here are four steps to using reverse psychology.
1. Use “cloaking.”
This means disguising what you’re trying to do. Make it seem like you
don’t really care about the outcome.
2. Reframe the situation
This is to get someone who was previously resistant to doing something to
do it now. You’re trying to get them motivated by changing the way they
look at the situation.
3. Introduce a third party
Casually mention that another person thinks that the task can’t be done
either. This ups the challenge and motivates the person to do it themselves
to prove the other person wrong.
4. Give push back
When the other person seems to be giving in, be slightly argumentative.
This will reinforce in their mind that they should do it and that it was their
own idea all along!
***
The ability of our thoughts to influence our reality is incredible. Their
power is best summed up thus, “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.”
(Proverbs 23: 7). In the end, our thoughts confirm our actions. It’s
inevitable.
No one goes out and cheats on their spouse if those thoughts aren’t already
somewhere in their mind. No one commits a serious crime on a
whim. There’s first an inspiration before any
action.
This is to our advantage. If we learn to focus our thoughts on success,
productivity, goals, happiness, etc., we’re more likely to achieve them.
Our character, and ultimately our destiny, comes down to how we learn to
focus our thoughts. Good ideas will eventually lead to good
things. Unhealthy thoughts will lead to bad things. Sow the seeds of
positive thinking now, and you can reap the harvest of success later.
Action steps:
1. Check your thoughts: Wherever you are, be mindful of what you’re
thinking. It takes effort to focus on particular thoughts that’ll help
us to achieve our goals. Sometimes it’s so much easier to just zone
out. The temptation to go on Facebook or watch TV is always there
because it takes minimal effort. However, make the difference in
your thinking if you have goals, or people you want to help, a
hobby you want to take up, or if you want to learn more about
yourself.

2. Use your thoughts to find three areas in your life where you want to
improve. Write them down so that they become goals instead of
desires.

3. Check on your progress each day: look back at your list and see
what you’re doing to achieve your goals and what you could do
better.
4. If you need help, find someone you trust, or a group of like-minded
individuals, to support you towards your goal.
5. Keep your thoughts positive, and you’ll strengthen them by keeping
them in your mind. Soon you’ll find that this mindfulness and
positivity will affect your actions, habits, and your journey.
Remember to control your thoughts; they’re what determine your
destination.
 ROLE OF NEUROSCIENCE IN THE
REDUCTION OF ANXIETY

Anxiety disorders are quite widespread in today’s fast-paced, hectic society,

where everyone has access to information all the time, whether positive
or negative.
Anxiety is an umbrella term, meaning it covers many different psychiatric
conditions. For a layperson, an anxiety disorder can be interpreted as panic
and fear that randomly hits a patient when they find themselves in stressful
situations.
Anxiety is defined as a diffuse, vague, very unpleasant, and uncomfortable
feeling a patient feels under certain circumstances. These situations can be
real or a product of the patient’s imagination.
There are different types of anxiety disorders, such as:
1. Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD)
2. Anxiety Disorder
3. Social anxiety disorder (SAD)
4. Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
5. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
The most common treatment for anxiety disorder is the use of
tranquilizers. However, this solution is problematic. One reason for this is
that its use isn’t recommended for long-term use, and it doesn’t get to the
root cause of what’s causing the sufferer’s anxiety.
Tranquilizers result in excessive sleep, clinomania (an extreme desire to
stay in bed), and numb the patient’s mind and emotions.
Since tranquilizers are so successful in reducing anxiety, they’re also often
misused. Not to forget, they also have a lot of intense withdrawal
symptoms, such as sweating, trembling hands, fast heartbeat, insomnia, and
so on, that start within 24 hours of taking the last dose. The patient’s body
and mind get used to it, and if they stop, they can’t live a comfortable
life. Sedatives become an addiction.
For these reasons, psychologists and psychiatrists should turn
to neuroscience to treat or reduce anxiety disorders. Neuroscience is
essentially the study of how the functions of the nervous system
develop. Neuroscientists focus on a wide range of topics, from
neurotransmitter specialization to specific behaviors and many different
psychiatric disorders.
Anxiety disorder is one of the mental illnesses, and many studies have been
done by correlating a patient’s anxiety with how their nervous system
responds. Therefore, these scientists and researchers have found several
ways to treat and reduce stress by focusing more on the nerves.
In technical terms, patients with an anxiety disorder are known to have a
hyperactive amygdala, which is primarily known as the anxiety center.
They sometimes even have a slightly larger amygdala. It was created to
cope with more anxiety and fear, be it a generalized anxiety disorder or a
social anxiety disorder, or even irrational phobias, as mentioned
earlier. However, neuroscience and the study of our brain, spinal cord, and
nervous system suggest that you can alter these emotions and feel healthy
by controlling your fears and worries.
The fantastic thing about the human brain, the nervous system’s central
organ, is that it’s made to continually rewire itself to learn, grow, and heal
after experiencing trauma. This is known as neuroplasticity, the brain’s
ability to reorganize itself throughout its life by forming new neural
connections.
Because of this trait, people are continually changing as they age. Scientists
believe that after a certain age, especially during childhood, the brain locks
itself in a particular state.
But as times go on, we can better study the brain using the non-invasive
imaging technologies we’ve invented, such as the fMRI and PET scan. We
can see how our brain changes itself, depending on how we use it.
Neuroscientists study these changes and what their applications are. This
neuroplasticity feature can help people with anxiety disorders become less
anxious and control their anxiety by rewiring their brains.
Neuroscience states that forcing yourself to change the way you think can
change your brain’s structure, along with the different types of chemicals it
pumps out. To use this distinguishing feature of the mind to fight anxiety,
we must first understand the three principles of fear.
1. The first principle we need to understand is our perspective on
fear. Most of us assume that fear is bad. Anxiety may be
uncomfortable, but it’s not always bad. Some fear is healthy and
essential to everyday life because it has a function: to motivate us to
avoid real danger. Anxiety is experienced in several ways.

There’s normal adaptive anxiety, which helps you function daily, be

wary of what’s wrong and what’s right; your gut feeling enables you
to understand when something is “off.” Then there’s the fear you
feel from the pressure of your hectic routine or the stress of
everyday life.
2. The second principle is to understand the disordered type of
fear. It’s the fear required by the work of neuroscience because it
interferes with a person’s daily functioning, it assumes that simple
things are a real danger, and it obscures any judgment.

It makes it difficult for us to go to work or school or to perform

simple tasks. It prevents us from enjoying the little life we
have. Contrary to popular belief, anxiety isn’t just a disorder if it’s
severe. It’s disordered when:
a. You feel like you’re in danger, even though you may be
perfectly safe; or
b. When your fear disturbs your ability to function when it
takes over your life.

3. The third principle we need to understand is that avoiding what

causes our fear allows our fear to torment and grow. However, you
can choose to avoid it, be it by distracting yourself with social
media, by drinking, by blaming others, by always staying in bed,
etc. All these “coping mechanisms” only increase the fear you feel
 and shrink your world. This increase in anxiety levels is due to the
“anxiety cycle.”
The anxiety cycle is a vicious trap. Essentially, when you’re afraid
of something, your brain triggers physical symptoms to help you get
out of that situation. It’s the feeling of fear. When you escape the
case in the short term, it gives a lot of relief.
But in the long run, because you’ve got that little relief from
escaping it, your brain will increase the physical symptoms and
worries next time, making you extra aware, forcing you to avoid the
situation altogether. Over time, this feeling gets worse, like a cycle,
as your brain rewires itself to prevent that situation more and
more. You miss out on life because you don’t go out, meet new
people, or enter into relationships.
If we agree that our cause of the fear is generally a safe situation, we can
then assume that embracing our feelings and fear without running away
won’t kill us. To prevent our anxiety from getting out of hand, we can
intervene and force ourselves with our actions or thoughts.
With our actions, we force ourselves to remain in the situation that worries
us, and since no harm will come to us, our brain thinks it’s okay and will
stay in such a case and not avoid it. It’ll also help us strengthen our
emotional muscles, which means we can feel emotions and sensations that
can make us uncomfortable without continually escaping from them, thus
making us feel better.
This force establishes new neural pathways in your brain, making you less
and less anxious over time. If actions become too challenging to perform,
you can also interfere with your thoughts, which means thinking about the
harmless situation that makes you anxious and telling yourself not to worry
about anything. However, as with all ideas, it can get very complicated.
It’s always better to consider a situation as harmless before entering into it,
rather than during or after. Therefore, it’s still better to use your actions to
combat anxiety. But if that gets too hard to enforce, you can take the
following steps to make it easier on yourself.
 1. Create an exposure hierarchy: Break down everything that scares
you into several steps and boldly start facing the one you can most
easily follow. It’s important to take baby steps because if you jump
in too quickly, you’ll panic, the anxiety will further increase, and
your anxiety level will rise.

2. Change Your Rules: People assume that courage is the absence of

fear when, in fact, it just realizes that some things are more
important than avoiding what scares you. It’s the will to let yourself
do something, even if it can make you uncomfortable or scared. We
must make sure that we don’t allow ourselves to determine how we
do things. For this, we must remain with our fear for a specific time,
at least until it subsides.

3. Face Your Fears: This has been said before. However, it’s essential
to just do things sometimes, no matter how afraid we are of
them. It’s okay to feel anxious as long as you don’t let it control
you. It’s all about willingness and acceptance.

By following these steps, you rewire your brain and new nerves, causing
your anxiety disorder to decrease over time as your brain develops and
realizes that something we develop as the cause of your irrational fear is
nothing to worry about.
People with anxiety tend to actively resist relaxation, despite how good it’s
for a person’s body and soul, and choose to worry. So, they should force
themselves to relax and worry less about something harmless.
Understandably, this is a straightforward way to use neuroscience studies to
treat such conditions. However, it’s much more challenging to implement
them.
Therefore, neuroscience suggests that there are also some songs and sounds
you can listen to to reduce your anxiety disorder. Indigenous cultures use
music to improve their well-being, mental stability, and even their
health. Most retreats and spas play “sounds of nature” to make their clients
more relaxed and reduce their anxiety levels.
One study was developed to find out whether or not music is something that
helps reduce anxiety or not. Participants were told to solve complicated
puzzles while listening to different songs.
The participants had sensors connected to them to measure their brain
activity and their physiological symptoms, such as heart rate, blood
pressure, and even breathing, to conclude how anxiety levels are affected by
music.
Of all the songs they heard, Marconi Union’s “Weightless” was found to
reduce participants’ anxiety levels by 65%. Funnily enough, this had been
the aim when the song had been made.
When this song was composed, Marconi Union worked with many sound
therapists to carefully arrange all rhythms, harmonies, and bass levels to
help slow and reduce the heart rate and blood pressure of those who listen
to the song. Likewise, “Electra” by Airstream and “Watermark” by Enya do
a similar job.
In short, it’s will and determination that’ll help you overcome what makes
you anxious and help you to conquer your anxiety.
 CHAPTER 7

Using Neuroscience in Mood Disorders, Aggression, and Anxiety

Mood Disorder Treatment: Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy and How It

Works

P sychology and Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, and Practice

published an article in January 2015 claiming that that bipolar
disorder’s mood swings are influenced by thoughts. In other words,
overly negative thoughts could lead to “descent behaviors” (such as
withdrawing from friends, leading to depression). In contrast, excessively
positive thoughts could lead to “ascent behaviors” (such as risk-taking,
associated with mania). Therefore, the highs and lows of the mood disorder
are directly linked to the patient’s thoughts.
In light of this, we can see how Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) could
be used to balance out the extreme mood swings associated with bipolar
and other mood disorders. CBT works on the whole premise that our
thoughts, actions, and emotions are interlinked and work together (or
against each other). It makes sense that a therapy that aims to take our
problematic thought and behavioral patterns and change them would be an
essential part of treatment for these types of disorders.
An example of a negative thought pattern: your boss emails you, asking to
meet you later that day to discuss your latest work project. You immediately
suspect the worst; you imagine that he’s unhappy with your work, that he
thinks you’re a terrible employee, and that he wants to fire you. You spend
the rest of the day miserable and anticipating the worst.
CBT instructs you to respond to circumstances with calmer thoughts to
keep your state of mind more stable. For example, your boss just wants to
ask a few questions about your job. Individuals regularly feel better and
achieve more personal satisfaction after experiencing CBT.
In one study into CBT and its use in treating mood disorders, researchers
looked at two different groups of recently-diagnosed patients.
One group received standard treatment, including medication and
community support, a psychiatrist, or a regular doctor. The other group
received standard treatment and CBT. The results? The latter group
benefited from more effective, longer-lasting effects than the group that
didn’t receive CBT.
CBT teaches patients vital skills that directly target how their disorder
affects them, and we’ll take a look at some of these now.

Six CBT techniques for mood disorders

1. Acknowledging your condition: The first step is to understand and
accept that you’ve got a disorder and its effects. It’s often difficult for
people with a mood disorder to acknowledge it, so it’s fundamental to show
them the signs, side effects, causes, and course. It helps individuals find
support while knowing that they’re not alone.
2. Checking your mood: This is done using a worksheet or journal, done
daily between appointments, and then checked by your therapist.
Individuals are asked to assess their moods on a scale of 0 to 10 every day,
with 0 meaning “depressed,” 5 meaning “feeling okay,” and 10 being
meaning “highly irritable or elevated mood.” The idea is to gradually
become aware of your mood, its causes, and how it changes.
3. Cognitive restructuring: This procedure is all about improving
unhelpful thought patterns by figuring out how to be more alert to how your
thoughts affect your moods, how to recognize problematic thoughts, and
how to change or correct them.
The therapist shows the patient how to examine their thoughts by looking
out for distortion and creating progressively balanced thinking.
4. Solve the problem: This progress includes figuring out how to
distinguish a problem, produce possible solutions, select a solution, try it,
and assess the outcome.
Usually instructed in treatment first, problem-solving is then practiced
between sessions. Problems can occur in any area of life, from relationship
problems to unemployment to credit card debt. These stressors, if not
resolved, can put you at a higher risk of spiraling moods.
5. Improve your social skills: A few people with mood disorders lack
specific social skills, making them feel that they’re not in charge of a
particular part of their life. Learning skills, such as assertiveness, can help
you better deal with interpersonal relationships.
6. Daily routine: By participating in regular, routine activities sets a good
structure for your day. Structure and predictability stabilize mood. This
could mean establishing a set time for exercising, doing chores, getting
proper sleep, eating at regular hours, and making time to socialize.
How to maximize the effects of mood disorder treatment
● Listen to your doctor. Accept your diagnosis and the treatment that’s
been prescribed for you.
● Do your CBT homework. This means to do what’s asked of your
therapist in between sessions. Your skills will be built through practice.
● Continuous learning. Read self-help guides, join a support group, and
ask your doctor or therapist questions to better understand your disorder.
Remember your aim: keep your moods stabilized and be an active part of
your own treatment.
Interpersonal Therapy (IPT) and Mood Disorders
ITP is similar to CBT in that it’s an empirically validated and time-limited
form of psychotherapy designed to help treat mood disorders, such as
depression. However, it differs from CBT as it’s not a behavioral therapy; it
focuses on interpersonal relationships and how these affect the patient’s
condition and symptoms. The aim is to shift the blame patients often feel
onto the illness and, to some extent, onto their interpersonal circumstances.
There are three phases to IPT.
First phase: formulation
The therapist diagnoses their client and determines the interpersonal context
within which the depression arose. These could include the death of a loved
one, divorce, becoming a parent, moving house, conflict at work, avoidance
of social situations. They’re divided into four interpersonal areas:
- Grief
- Role transition
- Interpersonal disputes
- Interpersonal deficits
The therapist’s conclusions are called the “interpersonal formulation.”
Together with the client, they agree on the causes of the symptoms and what
the treatment will consist of.
The therapist emphasizes that the patient’s symptoms are part of a disease
and not a personal shortcoming.
Middle phase
This stage marks the beginning of the patient’s acceptance of the
interpersonal formulation.
Here, the focus is on no more than two of the four interpersonal problem
areas. These problem areas have a specific set of ways to overcome them.
- Grief: catharsis and establishing new activities to fill the void
caused by the loss.
- Role transition: mourning loss of the old role and focusing on the
new one’s positive aspects.
 - Interpersonal conflict: the resolution of the problem, and if a
solution isn’t possible, ending that relationship and mourning as
appropriate.
- Interpersonal deficit: teaching new social skills to help build new
relationships.
Each session starts with the client being asked by their therapist, “How have
things been since we last met?” This gives both the opportunity to see if
there’s been progress and if not, they’ll explore the difficulties still being
faced by the patient.
Final phase: “graduation.”
This occurs during the last few therapy sessions and aims to reinforce the
client’s sense of capability and independence. The client’s response to
treatment is evaluated, and if there are still areas to work on, these will be
discussed. The patient is reassured that they haven’t failed; it’s the therapy
that hasn’t worked in this instance. Continued treatment in a new treatment
contract may be offered since depression can recur.
IPT is seen as most effective in patients who are involved in current conflict
or are trying to adjust to stressful life changes. Like CBT, it requires full
commitment from the patient as the practice of the skills they learn in
sessions is vital to see progress or long-term effects.
Brain Stimulation Therapy
Brain stimulation therapy is used as part of the treatment of certain mental
disorders. It works by activating or inhibiting the brain through electricity.
These therapy types are less commonly used but have shown promise in
dealing with certain disorders that don’t respond to other treatment types.
Several stimulation therapies are used:
Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT)
This is used to treat severe depression or depression with psychosis that
hasn’t responded to medication.
Before undergoing ECT, the patient is placed under general sedation and
given a muscle relaxant. Electrodes are placed on specific areas on the
scalp. An electric current passes through the cerebrum to trigger a deliberate
seizure.
ECT treatments are usually given three times a week for up to twelve
sessions. Short-term side effects can include short-term memory loss, but
these are minimal. Follow-up maintenance treatments and medication is
usually required.
Repetitive transcranial magnetic stimulation (rTMS )
This non-invasive treatment uses a magnetic coil to apply short
electromagnetic pulses to specific nerve cells in the cerebrum.
The magnet is placed against the temple, while pulses are sent through the
skull. The method is used to treat severe depression in patients who don’t
respond to at least one medication type.
Anger Management
Psychotherapy and counseling can support you, or others in your life, in
dealing with an anger problem. Before looking for the appropriate type of
therapy that’ll work best for you, there are a few things to consider first.
First of all, understand that anger is a typical human emotion. Now and
then, it’s appropriate to feel some kind of rage. However, when this emotion
is misdirected, uncontrolled, or associated with dysfunctional behavior, it
becomes an issue that can affect your everyday life and that of others
around you.
Second, note that the way you deal with and display anger are “skills” that
have been created, repeated, and enhanced over your lifetime. Fortunately,
however, these skills can be changed.
Many anger problems result from an automatic, emotional response, and
with training, this response can be changed. Therefore, it’s imperative to
approach qualified therapists so they can uncover the root causes of your
anger and teach you how to manage and respond to them.
Third, if you’re concerned about confidentiality, discuss these issues with
your therapist. Generally, your sessions will remain strictly confidential
unless you specifically threaten to harm another person.
A specialist can take a wide variety of approaches to help an individual
tackle their anger management issues. Some people can benefit from
exploring childhood trauma, while others may be helped with medication.
CBT can be particularly useful in the treatment of anger.
CBT for the treatment of anger
CBT strategies focus on recognizing the triggers for angry thoughts and
behavior and replacing them with more practical perspectives, techniques,
and strategies for coping with your anger.
Your therapist will start by asking questions, using exercises to uncover
these triggers, and working with you over the sessions to develop and
engage in new, productive techniques for confidently managing your anger.
A word on forgiveness and anger
Every day we’re faced with countless things that others do that get on our
nerves. Our kids are sometimes messy at home, arguing with each other,
pouting, throwing tantrums, and trying to push boundaries. At work, we
often have to work with colleagues with whom we don’t see eye to eye or
with bosses who take our skills and hard work for granted and refuse to pay
us a raise.
But believing that others have deliberately set out to cause problems for us
is quite often off-base. When we feel that they “should have” acted a certain
way or that they “could have” behaved differently, we’re placing our
expectations onto them and ignoring the real reasons behind their actions.
Perhaps your kids are just tired, or your boss himself is under pressure and
dealing with his own problems right now.
This way of thinking is damaging—the sense of people being “out to get
you,” or the hurt and disappointment you feel from unmet expectations—
and it can lead to genuine anger issues if not dealt with.
Trying to recognize and understand the root causes of others’ actions and
behavior, and forgiving them, will go a long way in helping to deal with
your own issues regarding anger and bitterness. It’ll improve your
relationships with those around you and help you gain a new perspective on
life.
Treatment of anxiety disorders with psychotherapy
Whether you’re experiencing panic attacks, obsessive thoughts, relentless
stress, or debilitating fear associated with anxiety, realize that you don’t
have to just put up with it. Treatment can help, and psychotherapy is often
the best alternative. That’s because this form of therapy, rather than only the
use of medication, delves deep to find the root cause of the issues causing
your anxiety.
Therapy can help reveal the primary reasons for your stress and
anxiety; teach you how to relax; help you look at circumstances in new,
positive ways; and develop better adaptability and critical thinking. The
treatment gives you the tools to beat stress and anxiety and shows you how
to use them practically.
The types of anxiety disorders vary considerably, so treatment should be
tailored for your specific symptoms and circumstance. For example, if you
have obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), your treatment won’t be the
same as someone who needs help with panic attacks. The treatment duration
also depends on the type and severity of your anxiety problem.
There are numerous different types of anxiety treatments available. As
indicated by the American Psychological Association, many individuals can
find their condition improves within 8 to 10 therapy sessions.
Although a wide variety of treatments are used to treat anxiety, the primary
methodologies are CBT and exposure therapy. Each anxiety treatment can
be used alone or combined with different types of treatment.
Anxiety treatment can be one-on-one or can take place in a group
setting. Be that as it may, the goal is always the same: to lower levels of
stress and anxiety, to calm your brain, and overcome your fears.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy for anxiety
Research has shown that CBT can produce exceptional results in patients
suffering from anxiety disorder, social anxiety, panic attacks, and other
conditions that include anxiety symptoms.
CBT focuses on changing negative thought patterns (how we view the
world and ourselves) and behaviors. It includes:
 ● Analysis of how negative thoughts or understanding contribute to
anxiety.
● Looks at how you act and respond in conditions that cause stress and
anxiety.
The central premise behind CBT is that our thoughts, not external events,
influence how we feel. It’s not the circumstance you’re in that determines
how you think, but your impression of it.
For example, imagine that you’ve been welcomed at an important
meeting. Think about three different perspectives regarding the greeting and
how they’d affect your feelings in different ways.
This demonstrates how one occasion can evoke different feelings in
different people. Everything depends on our desires, mentality, and beliefs.
For people suffering from anxiety, negative perspectives feed the negative
emotions of fear and anxiety. The purpose of this psychological, social
treatment of anxiety is to recognize and address these negative thoughts and
beliefs. The idea is that if you change how you think, then you’ll change
how you feel.
Cognitive restructuring in CBT
Cognitive restructuring, or cognitive reframing, is a procedure in which you
discover and challenge the negative, irrational thoughts (cognitive
distortions) that fuel your fear and replace them with increasingly positive,
practical ones. It includes three stages:
- Identifying and recognizing negative thoughts. In anxiety
sufferers, certain circumstances are considered more dangerous
than they actually are, such as shaking someone’s hand.
- Challenging negative thoughts. The therapist will show the patient
how to assess their perceptions. It involves questioning
practicality, analyzing positive beliefs, and testing reality until the
patient believes that their negative thoughts aren’t grounded in
reality.
 - Replacing negative thoughts with more realistic and positive ones.
The therapist can help the patient with rational, calming statements
that the patient will say to themselves when faced with or
anticipating situations that’d likely raise their anxiety levels.
Replacing negative thoughts with more practical, logical, and positive ones
is more complicated than expected. Negative factors are often a deep-rooted
part of someone’s thinking. It takes practice to change thought patterns, and
the patient must be prepared to continually challenge their thought process
and use their new-found skills in real-life situations.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy can also include:
● Making yourself aware of the physical sensations you experience while
anxious.
● Encouraging strategies to deal with change and activities to help relieve
stress and anxiety.
● Challenging fears in hypothetical scenarios and in practical
application.
Exposure therapy for anxiety
No one wants to experience fear or anxiety, so it’s reasonable to want to
avoid it whenever possible. For someone afraid of heights, this could mean
adding hours onto their daily commute to avoid having to cross a bridge.
For someone terrified of public speaking, it could mean not attending a
friend’s wedding, so they don’t have to give a toast.
Aside from the fact that it takes up a lot of time and energy and can cause
great inconvenience or even damage relationships with people, staying
away from your fears means that you’ll never get a chance to overcome
them. Staying away from your feelings of anxiety makes them even more
deep-rooted.
Exposure therapy, as the name suggests, opens you up to the circumstances
or situations you’re afraid of. The idea is that through repeated exposure,
you’ll feel a growing sense of authority over the events, and your anxiety
will decrease.
Exposure is done in one of two ways: Your therapist may ask you to
imagine the stressful circumstance, or you may challenge it in
person. Exposure therapy can be used separately from or within CBT.
Systematic desensitization
Instead of immediately confronting your greatest fear, which could do more
harm than good, exposure treatment usually begins with systematic
desensitization. This type of therapy allows you to steadily challenge your
feelings of fear, creates security, and enables you to believe that you’re in
control of your thoughts, emotions, and actions.
Systematic desensitization consists of three parts:
Learning deep muscle relaxation techniques and breathing
exercises: When you begin to deal with your feelings of anxiety, you’ll use
these relaxing methods to reduce your physical responses to tension and
stress, such as shivering and hyperventilating.
Creating a fear hierarchy: You rate the stimuli that create your fear,
starting from the least fear to the most. For example, if you suffer from a
fear of flying, you may rate looking at a photo of a plane as provoking the
least anxiety and actually getting on a plane as causing the most.
Working through the fear hierarchy: Under the guidance of your
therapist, you’ll then start working through each stage of the scale,
practicing the relaxation techniques as you go along. The goal is to stay in
each scenario until your fear subsides, eventually working your way to the
most fear-provoking one. Finally, you’ve re-conditioned yourself to
successfully cope with your chosen anxiety-inducing fear.
 CHAPTER 8

Using Neuroscience to Improve Mental Health Treatment

M any people experience mental illness at some point in their lives.

It’s a global problem, with the World Health Organization
reporting in 2001, around 450 million people suffering from
some form of mental disorder or brain condition.
The treatment available for those suffering from mental illness isn’t
standard worldwide, especially countries fighting the challenges of poverty,
stigma, and lack of mental health trained clinicians. It’s essential to find
universally-acknowledged treatments to tackle this overwhelming, global
problem.
It’s said that where there’s a problem, there’s a solution, and neuroscience
could be the key. Neuroscience studies the structure and function of the
nervous system and the brain, and neuroscientists tend to focus on the brain
and its impact on behavior and cognitive functions.
Neuroscience can cure a person’s mental illness by opening or revealing the
mental disorder’s molecular factors. By adequately studying the disease’s
cause and effect, you can find the solution to a problem. Therefore,
neuroscience is essential to our understanding of mental illness and allows
us to focus on research and treatment.
Some people more resilient personalities than others. They may be able to
overcome particular challenges or experiences that other, less resilient
people could. In such cases, these less resilient people are more likely to
succumb to mental disorders.
So, if we use neuroscience to examine resilience’s neurobiology, we could
find solutions to tackle certain mental disorders.
Translational neuroscience offers new ways of looking at and focusing on
conditions such as schizophrenia. Schizophrenia can cause cognitive
problems to memory and motor skills, causing the sufferer to endure a low
quality of life. Previously, only psychiatric symptoms were the main focus.
With a cognitive-based approach, new treatments can be explored.
Like other diseases, the early detection and treatment of mental disorders
are vital. Deterioration in mental health is directly associated with a decline
in quality of life, well-being, and day-to-day functioning.
Incorporating neuroscience predictors, such as findings in genetics and
endpoints, can further developments in treatment.
Thus, combining neuroscience findings and incorporating therapies such as
CBT and certain medications could be an effective path towards treating
mental disorders.
Pharmacological treatment
For long-term medications, such as antidepressants, anti-anxiety
medications, mood-stabilizing drugs, and antipsychotics have been used to
treat mental disorders.
However, there’s little guarantee that medication alone is sufficient enough
in itself to cure mental illness. Additionally, many drugs bring with them
adverse side effects.
For example, in treating disorders such as schizophrenia, using the
antipsychotic medication can often result in side effects that can leave the
patient with poor functioning. The discovery of new drugs with little-to-no
side-effects is a considerable challenge.
People who’ve been diagnosed with a mental illness tend to get better and
relieve their symptoms by following a treatment plan tailored to their own
specific needs and situation. The most common treatment used to cure
mental illness is through a combination of psychotherapy and
medication.
Most scientists believe that mental illnesses result from problems in
neurotransmission. The central nervous system comprises the brain and
spinal cord, and it controls our actions, thoughts, and emotions. This is
controlled by chemicals called neurotransmitters, which travel between
different parts of the brain by nerve cells called neurons.
Medication used in treating various mental illnesses, including depression
and anxiety, aims to “work” on these neurotransmitters to help stabilize or
improve mood.
A psychiatrist or other health professional will often recommend mood
stabilizers, antipsychotics, antidepressants, and atypical antipsychotics,
depending on the patient’s particular symptoms.
Mental illness shouldn’t be ignored. If you need help or advice, please make
an appointment to see a health practitioner, sooner rather than later.
 WHAT ARE THE FACTORS THAT AFFECT
NEUROGENESIS IN OUR BRAIN?

Neurogenesis, put simply, is the birth of new neurons. Scientists’ discovery

in humans took place only recently, in 1998, and is still being thoroughly
researched. However, what’s clear is its incredible importance in debunking
the myth that neurons only develop in childhood; we can generate new cells
in adulthood.
Several behavioral, economic, pharmacological, and biochemical factors
influence this process, many of which we control. Neurogenesis associates
changes in neuroplasticity to changes in the synapses of the brain and
neural pathways.
Neurogenesis occurs in the subventricular zone and in the hippocampus’
subgranular region of the brain. Some of the hippocampus’s main functions
relate to memory, learning, spatial orientation, and emotional regulation. It
also plays a critical role in learning and memory, and several cognitive
pathologies such as anxiety, addiction, depression, and neurodegenerative
disorders such as Parkinson’s are related to changes.
The development of new neurons depends on various factors that modulate
each of the neurogenesis steps. In very young people, it naturally occurs at a
very high rate.
Factors influencing neurogenesis
Several factors that influence the development and survival of new neurons
have been identified. The primary way to keep producing new cells is
through engaging in activities that stimulate the brain. This could include
learning a new skill or engaging in new activities that keep your mind alert.
Inactivity, it seems damages neurons. Other factors include:
Substantial alcohol intake over a reasonably long period can adversely
affect neurogenesis. However, although neurogenesis is disrupted during
alcohol addiction, it does recover. Within four to five weeks after
abstinence, a marked increase in the development of new neurons in the
hippocampus can be observed.
Most addictive medications, such as nicotine, morphine, and cocaine,
inhibit neurogenesis. A new study indicates that cannabinoids also stimulate
neurogenesis.
The study included a synthetic cannabinoid that enhanced progenitor
proliferation in the hippocampal dentate gyrus of mice, as did certain
antidepressants. The cannabinoid has also had substantial effects as an
antidepressant. Further work is required to validate this early finding.
If antidepressants stimulate neurogenesis, it won’t be surprising to discover
that chronic stress, anxiety, and depression are associated with the loss of
hippocampal neurons. A study in rats also found that tension in the
hippocampus permanently disrupts neurogenesis in early life.
An intriguing rat study showing the other side of this photo showed that
rankings affected hippocampal neurogenesis. High-level animals have about
30% more neurons in their hippocampus after being placed in a naturalistic
environment with other rats.
Regular social contact may also have an effect. Research on the brains of
songbirds also showed that birds that live in large groups had more new
neurons and therefore had a higher memory than birds that lived alone.
All types of exercise and environmental enrichment (“mental stimulation”)
are seen as helpful neurogenesis factors.
And finally, rodent experiments show that a calorie-restricted diet can also
be helpful. Calorie restriction was associated with increased BDNF (brain-
derived neurotrophic factor—a protein related to nerve growth) and
improved memory capacity. The brain responded to this stress through
increased neurogenesis.
Several other lifestyle factors influence neurogenesis. Sleep deprivation
reduces the neurogenesis of the hippocampus. The brain can repair deficits
with a transient increase in neurogenesis after short-term sleep
deprivation. Recent literature shows that sleep plays a critical role in brain
detoxification, and prolonged sleep deprivation is severely detrimental to
brain function.
Sun exposure is known for its role in increasing vitamin D, but it also
increases serotonin and BDNF in the brain. Sunlight exposure is good
practice; even light exposure of about ten minutes can positively
affect brain health.
Sexual activity, while promoting neurogenesis, is beneficial for brain
development and increases levels of good neurotransmitter sound.
Nutrition and neurogenesis
Diet or nutrition plays an essential role in neurogenesis and brain
development. Excess refined sugar harms the brain, and it’s necessary to
avoid processed and processed foods whenever possible. The mind is 60%
fat, and the right fats are needed for proper brain function.
There should be a wide variety of vegetable and animal fats included in
your diet. Omega-3 fatty acids appear essential for neurogenesis, with rich
sources such as fatty fish and some vegetable oils. This fatty acid is the
major structural part of the brain and several other parts of the body.
Certain foods like blueberries and green tea can also help promote brain
health and promote neurogenesis. Many ingredients, such as the spice
turmeric, have more direct effects on the process. Curcumin is the primary
active ingredient in spices. BDNF levels have been found to rise when
acting as an antidepressant, but without the side effects seen with SSRIs.
Exercise and neurogenesis
Cardiovascular exercises, such as running, strength training, cross-fit, and
even yoga, are the most successful ways to improve neurogenesis; they’ve a
wide variety of health benefits for the body and mind. They’re also crucial
for stress relief.
Exercise increases hormones such as testosterone, which also have a
beneficial effect on neurogenesis and serve as a buffer from the impact of
psychological stress.
Mediation and neurogenesis
There’s an increasing body of scientific evidence to support the benefits of
meditation. It’s shown to cause an increase in gray matter density in several
brain areas, including the hippocampus. The approach is technically simple
but can be a challenge to practice.
You sit comfortably with your back upright. Eyes are closed or partially
closed. Take a few deep breaths while experiencing the different sensations
in your body. Be aware of your breathing, and let the focus rest on each
inhale and exhale.
When your mind wanders, bring it back to your breathing
consciousness. You may encounter sensory phenomena; you can notice it,
but don’t deal with them. Turn your attention back to breathing; if your
thoughts go astray, go back to the breath. Persist with this when you start,
doing a session of about ten to fifteen minutes.
Done at night, meditation can also increase melatonin levels, which has
several beneficial effects, including promoting neurogenesis. Yoga can also
support brain function, with hippocampal volume increasing in older yoga
practitioners.
Psychoactive substances and neurogenesis
Most psychoactive substances appear to harm neurogenesis, with some
notable exceptions. One of the leading and most common causes of reduced
hippocampal neurogenesis may be due to chronic alcohol
consumption. Alcohol intake also increases cortisol levels, with a different
domino effect.
Psilocybin and neurogenesis
It’s recently been found that psilocybin—a naturally occurring psychedelic
prodrug compound found in more than 200 species of fungi—improves the
hippocampal neurocampus in mice and improves their “unlearning” rate of
negative behavioral anxiety responses to drug-free regulation. It may
indicate that psilocybin may have PTSD-treatment potential for humans, a
condition characterized by highly irregular brain activity, including
decreased hippocampal activity.
Findings with high doses of psilocybin have shown that they can cause
long-term optimistic personality changes, joie de vivre, and an overall sense
of well-being.
Openness is one of the “Big Five” personality dimensions and is
dramatically changed by psilocybin in the long run, especially when people
have a spiritual experience during a session.
This personality adjustment remained high for 14 months after the session
and seemed like a long-term adjustment. Openness includes personality
traits such as the desire for new experiences, immense creativity, and
finding meaning in aesthetics, emotion, and curiosity, with a hunger for
information.
These improvements lead to increased neurogenesis and
neuroplasticity. Thus, psilocybin can function as a versatile brain tonic,
which can have a range of therapeutic applications, but remains highly
illegal and known to have “no medicinal use and a high potential for
violence” worldwide.
Ketamine and neurogenesis
Ketamine has been shown to significantly increase BDNF production in the
hippocampus in rats. It can stimulate the development of new synapses and
reverse synaptic defects associated with chronic stress and enhance
neuroplasticity.
Constant ketamine use is associated with bladder damage and potential
neurotoxicity, but it may form the basis for a new set of safer and more
potent antidepressants.
SSRI antidepressants and neurogenesis
SSRI antidepressants have been shown to improve hippocampal
neurogenesis, which can play a critical role in their antidepressant effect.
Nevertheless, these antidepressants are only beneficial for a certain
percentage of the population. They’ve different side effects. After stopping
use, there can be painful and long-term withdrawal symptoms.
If the increase in neurogenesis is part of the effects of these antidepressants,
there are certainly safer and more natural ways to improve this cycle. New
antidepressants for their neurogenic potential may be tested in the future.
Noopept and neurogenesis
Supplements such as noopept may help treat some types of brain injuries
and associated learning and memory impairments.
Long-term noopept therapy may result in the down-
regulation of TrkB receptors associated with neurotrophins neuronal
survival and brain differentiation. Therefore, Noopept is best used
cyclically, giving the brain time to find a balance between usage. The fact
that the compound offers no value to otherwise healthy brains is
worrying.
Ibogaine and neurogenesis
Ibogaine is a primary alkaloid responsible for the psychoactivity of
the Tabernanthe iboga root bark. It’s used in Central Africa for spiritual and
healing purposes. It’s been found that an autoregulatory positive feedback
loop raises the level of GDNF in the long term.
Also, the increase in GDNF expression signals neurons to increase mRNA
levels to further support GDNF development. A single dose of ibogaine can
increase GDNF expression for weeks, depending on the treatment.
Ibogaine is also extremely lipophilic; it loves fat and stays in body tissue for
months, slowly being released, further enhancing its effect on GDNF
expression.
This increase in GDNF expression is usually responsible for some of the
known interrupting facts of ibogaine addiction. GDNF infusion has been
used to diagnose Parkinson’s disease, but it’s an invasive procedure. In
treating Parkinson’s disease and cognitive pathologies such as addiction,
potential compounds may serve as pharmacological vectors to enhance
GDNF expression in the brain.
Ayahuasca and neurogenesis
Plants such as the ayahuasca vine (Banisteriopsis caapi) and the Syrian rue
(Peganum Harmala) are harmine sources. Both have a long history of
human use as medicinal products.
The harmine acts as an inhibitor of reversible monoamine oxidase to raise
monoamine levels with antidepressant effects in humans. Acute
administration has been shown to increase BDNF levels and produce
antidepressant-like results in the hippocampus of rats, which may be a
potential pharmacological target for the treatment of depression.
Ayahuasca use has been shown to contribute to a long-term increase in 5-
hydroxytryptamine (5-HT) platelet transporters. Recent neuroimaging
research has demonstrated long-term improvements in users’ brain structure
with associated beneficial effects, indicating advances in neuroplasticity.
DMT is closely associated with neurotrophic psilocybin. It’s speculated that
this endogenous compound plays a role in neurogenesis, neuroprotection,
brain growth, and cellular regeneration.
Hemp and neurogenesis
Cannabis may have a positive effect on neurogenesis. Studies in rats with a
synthetic cannabinoid closely related to THC showed improved
hippocampal neurogenesis, correlated with anxiety disorders and
antidepressant behavior. Neurogenesis was disrupted when this mechanism
was interrupted by X-rays, and the anti-anxiety activity was no longer
observed, indicating a link between the two.
Much cannabis has been developed to be high THC (responsible for
psychoactive effects) and low cannabidiol (CBD), which compete in the
brain for the same receptor. The use of CBD is more common in strains that
cause neurogenesis.
As a neuroprotective agent, research indicates that it can
be neuroprotective against potent THC and alcohol exposure. It’s a drug of
growing medical interest, but it’s also a potent antioxidant; it’s an
antipsychotic that regulates THC’s effects.
In terms of brain function, variants with a high CBD content may be
preferred, and the healthiest and most effective approaches are to get the
most out of cannabis, vaporize and drink it orally. The CBD content in
cannabis can be increased in strains that contain it during harvest. CBD is
one of THC breakdowns’ primary metabolites, and its processing later
increases the CBD to THC ratio. Curing also increases the rates of CBD.
Neurogenesis is a groundbreaking scientific frontier, and much remains
unclear about the implications of this mechanism and its role in its
functioning. Nevertheless, we can control this remarkable cycle, and it can
help keep depression, anxiety, and neurodegenerative diseases at bay while
helping us maintain healthy brain function into old age.
 CHAPTER 9

Writing as a Tool to Help Combat Fear and Anxiety

E veryone has random thoughts going through their head, and at times
it’s as though we don’t even notice them. It’s like having a piece of
music on in the background while trying to do some work.
If these thoughts tend towards the negative, it can severely impact their
mood and daily life. Continually living with certain ideas can make them
seem “real.” People can quickly adapt to these thoughts and believe that
they’re not actually a problem for them. But an individual should know that
they can’t let these negative, intrusive thoughts and self-talk persist. This
background music is hindering their life.
Getting rid of these superfluous, useless thoughts that cause us anxiety can
seem like an impossible task.
However, there’s a simple way that we can start to tackle them: writing.
Writing down our thoughts and feelings is recommended for people trying
to control their anxiety. There have been many studies demonstrating its
effectiveness.
Writing can promote happiness and helps manage stress. It’s a
straightforward technique that may not look like an obvious solution to
most people, but writing can be beneficial in so many ways. It has very few
limitations; you just need to keep at it regularly.
HOW DO YOU START?
There are no hard and fast rules, but it’s a good idea to start by sitting down
every day for about five minutes and put your pen to paper or your fingers
on the keyboard. Over time, you can increase the duration of these writing
sessions.
You can write about anything that’s on your mind. Write down as much
detail as you can. What you’re feeling like right now, what’s happened
during the day, or what happened in the past.
You may find it difficult initially; it’s hard to recall unhappy incidents or
connect with negative emotions. But the more you write, the more you’ll be
able to come to terms with all of these thoughts and feelings. You may even
be able to find out what things cause you to feel a certain way. This all
helps you in confronting your anxiety and finding ways to get through it.
BUILD A BETTER SPIRITUAL FRAMEWORK.
Writing about what bothers or worries you can help you analyze aspects of
your life holding you back.
When you write in this way, it can carve a path towards a more critical,
logical way of thinking. By clearing your mind of negativity, you’ll have a
clearer mindset to start tackling your life.
Once a person challenges themselves to face their anxiety or negative
thinking, it can help boost their self-awareness and self-confidence.
It helps build the resources they need to effectively problem-solve and
make decisions based on logic and rational thought.
Putting the energy into doing something that can help you move from a
negative inner world into a positive one is ultimately empowering. It’ll
affect every other aspect of your life.
You’ll discover that you’re able to do better every day. The causes of some
issues will require more attention than others. But if you’ve trouble talking
to other people, you can always talk to your journal. A journal will always
keep your secrets. It’s constantly a good listener. And it’s never judgmental.
Writing can be your greatest companion in the fight against fear and
anxiety.
FOODS THAT CAN HELP REDUCE ANXIETY

Anxiety can be a debilitating condition for many people. It’s a condition

characterized by constant worry and nervousness. It’s associated with many
physical symptoms, such as profuse sweating and heart palpitations.

Including certain food and nutrients in your diet can help to alleviate
anxiety and reduce the severity of symptoms. This is thanks in large part to
their brain-boosting properties.
The following can all be incorporated into your diet to help reduce stress
and anxiety. Still, it’s important to remember that further research needs to
be done to confirm the effects of these foods and nutrients.
1. Fatty fish
Oily fish, such as salmon, mackerel, sardines, trout, and herring, are high in
polyunsaturated fatty acids. These acids have a healthy relationship with a
psychological functioning.
Omega-3 rich foods that contain omega-3 fatty acids (ALA)
contain two essential fatty acids: omega-3 (EPA) and omega-3 (DHA). EPA
and DHA regulate neurotransmitters, cut back inflammation, and
promote healthy brains to operate.

A small study of twenty-four individuals with abuse problems found that

supplementation with EPA and DHA led to reduced hysteria. However,
additional analysis is needed.

Current recommendations recommend including at least two servings of

fatty fish per week. A study conducted on men found salmon
intake three times a week reduced self-reported anxiety.

Salmon and sardines are also among the few foods that contain fat-soluble
vitamins.
2. Chamomile
This herb contains high amounts of antioxidants designed to reduce
inflammation, reducing the risk of stress.
Despite many studies showing its favorable effects, most of these have been
conducted using chamomile extract and not chamomile tea, which is most
commonly consumed by people.
While these results are favorable, most studies are the inhibitory levels and
anti-inflammatory effects.
3. Turmeric
Turmeric is a spice containing curcumin, a compound that’s been studied
for its role in promoting brain health and preventing anxiety disorders.
Animal and test-tube studies show that curcumin can boost the omega-3
fatty acid, DHA, in the brain, by helping your body to synthesize it
better.

In one study, twenty mg/kg curcumin caused significant anti-anxiety effects

in stressed mice compared to mice given a lower dose.
Curcumin also has potent anti-inflammatory properties that have been
shown to stop damage to brain cells.

Also, curcumin consumption has been shown to increase blood antioxidant

levels, usually low in people with anxiety.
4. Dark chocolate
Dark chocolate contains flavanols—antioxidants that can help brain
function. They increase blood flow to the brain, aiding its ability to adapt to
stressful changes that can cause anxiety and other mood
disorders.
Some researchers also suggest that dark chocolate’s role in brain health is
that of “comfort”; if you like the taste of something, it can lift your mood.

Consuming 74% dark chocolate twice daily for two weeks has been shown
to improve stress hormone levels, such as cortisol.
Its consumption has also been shown to increase serotonin levels which can
help reduce stress.
However, dark chocolate is best consumed in moderation as it’s high in
calories and easy to overeat. 1-1.5 ounces per serving is recommended.
5. Yogurt
Some types of yogurt contain probiotics, or healthy bacteria, which can
improve not only your mental health but other aspects of your physical
health too.
Studies have shown that probiotic foods could promote mental health and
brain function by inhibiting free radicals and neurotoxins that damage the
brain’s nerve tissue and leading to anxiety.
It’s important to realize that not all yogurt contains probiotics; opt for one
which has live active cultures. It’s recommended that women consume 4.4
ounces twice daily to see the benefits.
6. Green tea
Green tea contains L-theanine, an amino acid that’s shown to positively
affect brain health and reduce anxiety.
L-theanine can prevent nerves from becoming overexcited, and it may also
increase anti-anxiety neurotransmitters such as dopamine and serotonin.
Green tea also contains antioxidants (such as EGCG), which can help aid
brain health.
Drinking several cups of this tea can reduce psychological distress.
Other foods can help with anxiety but haven’t undergone definitive studies
in terms of their specific benefits. Their nutrients, however, are believed to
improve related symptoms.
Turkey, bananas, and oats
These contain amino acid tryptophan, which is converted to serotonin in the
body, boosting relaxation and reducing stress.
Eggs, meat, and dairy products
These foods provide high-quality protein that produces the
neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamine, which help promote mental
health.
Chia Seeds
These contain brain-boosting omega-3 fatty acids, which have been shown
to help with reducing anxiety.
Citrus fruits and bell peppers
These are rich in vitamin C and have antioxidant properties, which fight
inflammation and help prevent nerve cell damage.
Almonds
These nuts contain a large amount of vitamin E that’s been studied for
its role in preventing anxiety.
Blueberries
Blueberries are high in vitamin C and antioxidants, such as flavonoids,
which are being studied to improve brain health and alleviate anxiety.
SUMMARY
Some foods contain specific nutrients that promote brain health and prevent
anxiety or reduce your symptoms’ severity. In general, more studies need to
be done into their particular roles and their effects on brain health.
Most studies are conducted in animals or laboratories, and additional high-
quality human studies are needed. However, it’s safe to say that many foods
and beverages will help alleviate your anxiety symptoms as they reduce
inflammation and improve your brain health.
 CHAPTER 10

Positives of Dark Psychology

D ark Psychology has positives and negatives—two sides to the same

coin. Where there’s light, there’s shade. Where there’s good, there’s
evil.
Dark Psychology is the science and application of mind control, coercion,
motivation, and manipulation. It’s the tactics people use to get what they
want. It’s present in more benign contexts such as advertising, sales
methods, managers, and even parents sometimes use it to get their kids to
behave. It can also be used for darker motives, such as criminal activity or
in abusive relationships.
Psychologists and criminologists have coined the phrase “The Dark Triad”
to refer to the traits used in more nefarious circumstances. These include
Machiavellianism, narcissism, and psychopathy. Our character’s dark side
could refer to the parts of our personality that share some of these types of
traits, but not to such extremes.
First, we’ll be looking at the more positive side of Dark Psychology and its
application.
Positives of Using Dark Psychology
Self-Awareness
Most people have this side of themselves that they fear. They don’t want
anyone else to see it. People see their dark side as a weakness. They fear the
consequences of this side to their character. Sometimes they also feel that it
can overpower them completely.
But those who’ve accepted this side of their character have come to have
confidence in themselves. It took time, but now they’re self-aware and self-
assured.
The dark side boldly helps people explore the flawed parts of
themselves. Once they recognize their dark side, they’re no longer afraid of
anything.
The dark side isn’t as dark as people think. It can help to motivate us, stand
up for ourselves, and influence others.
There’s no need to seek approval from other people because the dark side
hides our weaknesses and fears, and once you start to use it, nothing will
stop you from achieving what you want.
Manipulation Isn’t All Bad
Our dark psychological side makes us very good at
manipulation. Sometimes it’s necessary to use it to achieve a particular
goal. As long as, of course, this manipulation doesn’t overstep the line.
There are master manipulators all around us: politicians, leaders,
salespeople, managers, advertisers, attorneys, public speakers, and others.
People can use their dark side to influence people, and it’s not necessarily
for evil gains. As long as there are boundaries, and no one is getting hurt,
manipulation can be a highly effective strategy for further success and
achievement.
It Helps With Risk-Taking
There’s nothing wrong with taking a risk if it doesn’t have a bad
outcome. Many people don’t do the things they want to do just because they
fear the consequences—especially when it comes to something fun.
People who indulge their dark side tend to be risk-takers. They don’t worry
about the consequences of their actions and tend to be more impulsive when
it comes to decision-making. This means that they enjoy the freedom to
experience life, let loose, and have more fun.
Self-centredness Can Lead to Personal Growth
Focusing on oneself doesn’t necessarily have to be bad unless it leads to
extreme egoism and complete disregard for other people.
When you focus on yourself, it allows you to find out what you want out of
life and how you’re going to get it. It lets you base decisions on what’ll get
you the most out of life and allows you to grow as a person.
Self-centeredness can not only be very important for personal growth but
also emotional maturity. Sometimes it helps people to entirely focus on
themselves and make them understand their talents and their shortcomings.
It can help them towards becoming a better person.
Motivation
People who indulge in their dark side are usually great at selling
themselves. They’ve boundless confidence and motivation because they
know what they want to get out of life. They’re wholly driven to achieve
the results that they need.
This ability to sell themselves, combined with their motivation, makes them
great people to be around. They can inspire others with their confidence and
can help boost morale in a work setting.
Perfectionism
Indulging in your dark side enables you to become more critical—of
yourself, as well as other people.
You’ll always be striving to achieve, so you’ll be hyper-aware of your
performance and those of others. It means that the margin for error is tiny,
and you’ll be driving yourself and everyone to give their very best.
As you can see, indulging in your dark side can have its advantages.
However, you must be careful that it doesn’t mean slipping too far to the
extreme edges of Dark Psychology.
Now we’ll take a look at some of the disadvantages of using Dark
Psychological tactics.
Disadvantages of Using Dark Psychology
Paranoia
Someone’s dark side can make them highly suspicious of others. They’ll
start to question everybody’s motives. Perhaps this is because they’re not
above suspicion themselves.
They’ll feel threatened in many ways, thinking that other people are
planning to thwart their plans, even if there’s no truthfulness to it at
all. They’ll continue to create scenarios in their heads that don’t really exist.
They sense that there’s something or someone actively trying to harm them
when, although, of course, this can never be proven. Even if something
positive happens, they’ll still be suspicious and think something’s not quite
right.
It’s the dark side of the person that will suppress the positive side, and no
matter how much someone wants to stop it, they can’t. This way of thinking
has no benefits, can become increasingly severe, and may sometimes
develop into mental illness.
They Become a Harmful Manipulator
As we know, indulging in your dark side means that you know a thing or
two about how to manipulate others to get what you want.
However, it’s one thing to influence people without any potential harm, and
another to deceive or coerce people. Manipulative people are masters of
deception and can use devious means to achieve their own goals.
Manipulative people don’t tend to care about collateral damage. They just
want to gain control, get what they want, and have others be
unquestioningly supportive and complicit in their plans.
They know how to trigger people and sometimes will even just toy with
others for its fun. To them, lying, deceiving, and controlling people
becomes a game.
They Play the Victim
People with a dark side like to play the victim, even if they’re guilty.
They’ve got a habit of turning things around on the other person, making
them feel as though they’re at fault and are to blame. These people don’t
take responsibility for their own actions and use their power of
manipulation to make others feel the heat.
And because they’re so good at lying, at pulling the wool over people’s
eyes, that they’ll most probably get away with it. They’re masters when it
comes to playing the victim role. Like manipulation, they’ll use this role to
get their own way or get out of a tricky situation.
They don’t care what the cost is for other people. As long as their needs are
met, they’re okay. They’re looking out for number one.
They’re Not Sincere
People with a dark side don’t tend to be sincere in any of their relationships.
In fact, their relationships are based on manipulation, which can’t allow for
much honesty or vulnerability on their side.
Their loyalty is to no one, so if they show sincerity, others need to take it
with a salt pinch. Likely, it’s just being used as a manipulative tactic; to
draw their victims into a false sense of intimacy or trust.
They lie not only to themselves, but they also lie to everyone around
them. They’re not a genuine friend, and they’re not faithful. They’d do
anything to make themselves dominant and more prominent, regardless of
who the people standing in their way are.
They’ll never form real, close, loving relationships with anyone because
they don’t want to put themselves in a vulnerable position. To them, what’s
important is their motives and how they’re going to achieve them. They
can’t let relationships get in the way of that.
They Seem Hypocritical
People on the dark side don’t treat other people fairly. They lie, play with
others’ minds, and don’t care about their actions or consequences. Yet they
accuse people of doing the very things they do to them.
Being real is about being true to yourself and the people around you, and
those subscribing to Dark Psychology are never truly themselves. They put
a mask on their face to hide their real personality because the dark triad of
their mind is overlapping the other side of their character. And at the very
same time, they’ll claim that other people are being devious and
disingenuous. All they’re doing is holding a mirror up to themselves.
They Can Get Very Aggressive
They may struggle to control their emotions, no matter how much they
try. They’re always reacting to situations, especially anything that could
damage their professional reputation. However, by not controlling their
anger, they’ve got a genuine chance of doing that themselves.
They feel they’ve complete freedom in reacting to certain situations, but
that’s not the truth. The response must yield responsibilities. They should
know that whatever they do, to never exceed the limits, but sometimes, they
forget their limits because of their aggressive behavior.
The rub is, they can also be incredibly sweet and charming. It leaves others
dazed and confused. It’s perhaps also what lets them get away with this
behavior for so long. However, soon their insecurities and their
impulsiveness will drive away their most ardent supporters.
They can be selfish and mean, especially when they feel defensive from
personal attacks and criticism. They can also act this way unprovoked;
they’ll happily bully and threaten other people and won’t stop until they
completely break them down.
It Makes Them Antisocial
An antisocial person isn’t someone who avoids going out and interacting
with people; being introverted and being antisocial are two different things.
To be antisocial is to be anti-society. It means being actively harmful when
dealing with other people to get what they want. They don’t care about
other people.
They’re self-centered and pose a threat to others because of their complete
lack of empathy and impulsiveness.
It’s one of the darkest sides of Dark Psychology, and when someone
displays these traits, therapeutic intervention is necessary.
They’ve No Limits
Every person has specific limits or boundaries in their life. They know not
to cross these because if they do, it’ll likely cause harm to other people.
When people are so manipulative and can easily fool others, they’ve no
limits because, in their eyes, everything they do is justified. Their motives
are enough; the damage they cause is of no consequence to them.
They’d do anything to achieve their goals— harassment, persuasion,
violence, or seduction.
They’re Egocentric
They’d do anything to get attention, and they don’t care what it takes to get
it.
When people try to show them their place, they aren’t good at taking
it. They don’t like criticism as it makes them feel exposed. To them, it’s the
greatest of insults, as they believe that they’re perfect and that nothing they
do is wrong.
They Don’t Take Responsibility
Whenever there’s a problem, they’ll blame other people for it, never
themselves. In their eyes, they’re above blame.
They Hunt People Like Prey
They look for sensitive, emotionally vulnerable people because they know
they’ve got a higher chance of manipulating them. People will initially be
taken in because the dark side knows how to use charm and influence to
draw people in.
They only care about what can be given to them; they take, and they never
deliver. People who get fooled by their charms may find it too late by the
time they’ve discovered that this hunter is a self-centered, unemotional,
master manipulator.
 CHAPTER 11

Female Behavior and Dark Psychology

D ark Psychology is associated with the exploitation of humans. It’s

psychology used for harmful or abusive ends. Although the subject
tends to focus on male behavior when spoken about, its relation to
the dark side of the female character shouldn’t be ignored.
Female behavior can also be highly antisocial, manipulative, selfish, and
even abusive. But still, we tend to view women as non-threatening. When
we hear about terrible crimes committed by women or stories of bad
behavior, we see it as an anomaly and hold them less accountable for their
actions than men.
Not everyone is aware of the Dark Psychology horror and how it’s often
played out by women and men. Usually, it’s displayed in women’s behavior
towards other women. The dark side that women won’t often admit is there,
let alone society acknowledging that it’s there.
Despite female empowerment, women’s lib, and feminism, there’s
something within every woman that has the potential to react against her
own.
Human behavior as a whole needs to be looked at, and that includes the
darkest psychology of women. It needs to be examined and understood.
After all, women can be just as harmful in their actions as men.
Gossip
Gossip, banter, scandal, whatever you want to call it, appears to be part of
women’s fundamental nature.
And for those on the dark side—those who’ve no limits or boundaries to
their behavior, those who don’t care if someone else’s feelings are hurt—
gossip will be thrown about without a second’s thought for who it could
affect.
It’s often seen as a trait of women. It’s a form of entertainment, a way to
bond with other women, a distraction from the mundane. But it’s
embarrassing—it’s a bad look for the gossipmonger. It can potentially ruin
the reputation of the person being gossiped about and the person spreading
the rumor.
Someone who gossips won’t be seen as reliable or trustworthy. No one will
go to them with their deepest, darkest secrets.
Bad Mouthing
Women criticize each other without even knowing they’re doing it. Older
women turn on the younger ones; younger ones do it to their elders. In
general, it’s an unhealthy practice. The thing is, it’s so common-place that
most people don’t see it as a problem that needs to be dealt with.
Giving Dirty Looks
Women have perfected the art of looking each other up and down. It’s the
action of someone eyeing up a potential threat.
Unfortunately, it goes against the very idea of female empowerment. If
women just view each other as competition, how will they stand together
and fight each other’s corner?
So, these little judgmental actions serve no purpose other than to make
other women feel uncomfortable. But rather than confronting this dark side
of their personality, most women will find it perfectly acceptable to carry on
doing it.
Insecurity and Jealousy
It could be argued that women are more insecure compared to men. This is
perhaps best demonstrated within relationships; when they feel vulnerable
or scared that they may lose their partner, they’re likely to suffer from
extreme emotional jealousy.
It can occur at any age, and sometimes this insecurity and jealously can turn
into an obsession if it’s not taken care of.
Competitiveness
Being competitive can often bring out the best in people, male or female. It
becomes harmful, however, when the healthy competition turns into a kind
of Cold War. When they try to demoralize, bring down, and destabilize their
“opponent.”
Women can have highly competitive characters and often compare
themselves to other women, regardless of any relationship and friendship. It
can bring out the worst in them.
It’s always necessary to hold back the horses of the hidden and powerful
demons on the dark side.
Belittling Others
The dark side of every person makes them think that they’re superior to
others. They start to believe that the world revolves around them.
These women will try to belittle others because it’s easier to do this than
show them gratitude, and they go out of their way to blame others. When
they get criticized or get a reality check, they won’t try to change their
ways. Instead, they’ll put others down to maintain a sense of superiority.
This behavior is challenging, and women need to admit to themselves that
they’re capable of it. Belittling others can be incredibly disruptive and
counterproductive. Not every woman is like this, but there are certainly
some whose dark side is more powerful compared to the other side of their
character.
Dark psychology isn’t only harmful, but it’s malicious. It can be difficult to
warn people that their dark side is damaging themselves and other people,
regardless of gender.
However, women have generally been less well- informed about their dark
side. The traits associated with it are seen as more self-defense-type
mechanisms. And when boys and men are warned about the dark side of the
feminine nature, there are cries of misogyny. There needs to be more honest
talk and debate on the subject.
The dark side of female nature isn’t considered dangerous, but this isn’t
true. Women are capable of using their dark side just as effectively and
destructively as men. It can cause precisely the same amount of emotional,
psychological, or physical pain.
The word “victim” is more often associated with women. It’s often said that
men are programmed to conquer and have a greater propensity towards evil
and violence.
Throughout history, however, women have also performed violent acts. In
many cases, they’ve shown that they’re great manipulators and have a dark
psychological side to them. They generally take advantage of the stereotype
that assumes they’re generally innocent.
However, some positive aspects of Dark Psychology pertain to women that
haven’t been studied thus far. We know that Dark Psychology highlights the
more negative aspects of the female character and that it can have the same
negative impacts as her male counterpart’s behavior.

MEN’S BEHAVIOR AND DARK

PSYCHOLOGY

So, as you’ve read, Dark Psychology is real, and most of us are daily
victims of it without even realizing it.
Dark Psychology is the science of manipulation and mind control to
convince others to do what you want them to do. The word “psychology” is
associated with this concept because people use tactics of coercion and
motivation of the mind to get what they want.
Most of us may not want to hear it, but secret manipulation is often used by
people you trust and people you love. For the women reading this, it’s
essential to see how men behave around you and understand if they use
Dark Psychology’s manipulation, coercion, and belief tactics. To get what
they want, men often manipulate women in different
ways.
1. Compliments/”Love Flooding”: They can shower you with love and
affection to ensure that you return love at their request. It means
they’ll butter you up until you agree to what they want you to do.

They make you feel that you might as well fulfill their request
because they love you so much, even if you don’t want to do it. It
can be something as small as going to the house of his new friend
who you feel uncomfortable with, or something more severe.
People usually don’t realize that “giving excessive love” is a
manipulation tactic. It’s not always necessarily hostile or dangerous,
but it’s essential to identify all influence forms to ensure that we’re
not fooled.
2. Giving Gifts: The man will flood you with gifts, so you’ll show
some reciprocity. It’s human nature to feel compelled to give
something back, not only as a form of thanks but also to compensate
them for doing their very best. It’s precisely why some people use
this strategy to get their way.

3. Love Denial: As the name suggests, it’s the opposite of Love

Flooding. The man in your life will surrender their affection and
stop giving you loving attention until you feel the need to do what
they want, so you can get back some of the love and friendship.

4. Complete Withdrawal: This is one of the most apparent forms of

manipulation.
 The majority of people understand that if someone avoids you or
gives you the silent treatment, they’re manipulating you through
guilt-tripping you and making you feel bad to induce guilt. Men you
love do the same to get what they want from you. Dark Psychology
recognizes this as one of the essential manipulation strategies.
5. Lying: This is the not-so-visible form of manipulation because it’s
not so easy to recognize, until and unless you’re aware of all the pre-
existing facts of the case.

The man will lie to trick you into doing something for him, and
because you don’t know the reality of the situation, you’ll be
persuaded to do it. There are other forms of speech, all of which are
also included in this form of manipulation.
Besides lying, they can exaggerate a story out of context, or maybe
not even lie entirely, but tell you a partial truth. That means they
choose to ignore or not mention essential parts of the story or
situation. These are the parts you wouldn’t want to do, and ignoring
those parts means you’ll be wrongfully forced. There’s not much
you can do to avoid this kind of manipulation, unless you do your
utmost to ensure that your male counterpart is honest with you. But
mainly because of the existence of love and trust, women don’t
question their men.
6. Semantic Manipulation: While not exactly lying, it’s somewhat of a
passive form of it. This strategy means that the guy will talk to you
in words with a double meaning.

That means they use words that are believed to have a mutual
definition, and so at the end of the conversation, you agree when the
guy meant something completely different. But later, you won’t be
able to get out of it because you would’ve made your promise, and
out of guilt of not wanting to hurt the other person, you’ll be
manipulated into doing what the man wants you to do.
7. Inverted Psychology: It’s human nature to want to do something
you’re not supposed to do. We also see this tactic in parent-child
 relationships.

Likewise, men will manipulate you by making you feel like you
can’t do anything to get what they want from you. It’ll directly
affect your ego and damage your self-esteem, and to fix it, you’ll
want to prove they’re wrong. It’ll make you fall into their
manipulative trap and eventually do what they wanted, even if they
made you feel like it’s something you can’t do.
For example, you meet a man, and he shows an interest in you, but
you’ve no interest in it. To make you like him, he’ll say something
in such a way that you want to prove him wrong. It’s a tactic to
make you spend more time with them, giving them more influence
in finding ways to keep you interested.
8. Restriction of Choices: This is the last of the
tactics/strategies/behaviors used and implemented by men to
convince you to do what they want you to do. It can be used in two
ways: to let you make a choice they want you to make or avoid a
decision they don’t want you to make.

Firstly, he’ll ask you to do something, and if you don’t want to do it,
he’ll give you more options. But they’ll be worse for you than the
ones you turned down. In reality, however, you can simply ignore
all choices and not do them; the man makes you feel like you have
to make a choice. So, you’ll eventually go for the first option
because they wanted you to do it. After all, it seems the least bad.
Lastly, he’ll give you other choices in such a way that you’ll be
distracted from the first decision/thing you wanted to do. This
manipulation strategy can be divided into a class known separately
as “Distractions,” but it’s still a sub-category of “Choice
Restriction.”
9. Mind Games: This is used when there’s a struggle between two
people when one wants to be dominant or superior over the other.

People propagate mind games to manipulate those who want to

make them inferior, so they say things they don’t mean or even go
 to extremes, such as embarrassing their partner. Some spouses will
taunt and humiliate their wives in public to lose her sense of
self and quickly be forced back home.

In addition to using manipulative tactics to force women into their lives,

men behave in certain ways using other psychological tactics elsewhere in
their lives.
The most prominent of these is in politics. It’s no lie that the majority of the
world’s politicians are men. Extensive research was conducted on the
gender ratio of politicians and state leaders, and as of December 2018, the
participation of women in national parliaments at a global level was only
24.1%.
And that includes the statistics of all those in developed
countries. Developing countries have an almost negligible number of
women who participate in politics. Male politicians in such countries use
dark psychological manipulation tactics on the people they lead or want to
potentially lead.
They use persuasion tactics to convince the nation to vote for them by
strengthening the population’s emotional state. Fascists use this tactic
specifically, by the irrational blowing up of the concept of patriotism. It can
be seen throughout history, even in today’s world, for example, Adolf Hitler
during the Nazi era, Narendra Modi in India, and Kim Jong-un, now in
North Korea.
Not only this, but to maintain the status quo, these men also convince the
nation to believe that a female politician isn’t suited to this type of work
because they’re “overly emotional, brash and incapable.”
 CHAPTER 12

Analyzing People Through Behavioral Psychology

When you’re learning to analyze people, it’s your responsibility to

understand them, what they say, and their identity. If you understand verbal

and nonverbal cues, it’ll help you to look beyond the various masks we

have and see the real person.

People won’t usually readily tell us the whole story about them. You need to
indulge in other essential data to figure out how to read the significant
nonverbal natural signs that individuals present.
To do this, you should also be happy to give up previously established
beliefs or thinking, such as old feelings of hatred or prejudices that prevent
you from truly seeing someone. The key is to remain objective and obtain
impartial information.
You need to be happy to leave behind old, limiting thoughts. People who
read others well are willing to understand the hidden. They’ve figured out
how to use their ”super senses” to look beyond what you already see and to
access extraordinary intuitive experiences.

THREE METHODS IN THE ART OF READING PEOPLE

The First Technique: Pay attention to the signs of body language

Various studies have shown that words make up only 7% of how we
communicate. Nonverbal communication amounts to an incredible 55% of
our interactions.
For a successful attempt at reading nonverbal cues, try not to be too
scientific about it. Be observant, but don’t freak the other person out. Stay
loose and relaxed. Remember not to judge, so be kind.
1. Focus on appearance
- What’re they wearing? Does it make them look professional? Casual?
Seductive?
- Are their clothes clean or disheveled?
- Is their hair tidy or unkempt?
- Are they wearing any jewelry that might indicate a spiritual or religious
belief?
2. Observe their attitude
- What’s their posture like? Do they sit and walk straight, or are they
hunched or slouched?
- Are they smiling or frowning?
- Do they hold their head up high?
- How do they walk? Do they use moderately-paced, determined steps, or
do they walk slowly and hesitantly? Or are they rushing or pacing?
3. Observe the space between you and them
- Where are they leaning towards: away from you or to you?
- Are their arms or legs crossed?
- Are their toes pointing towards or away from you?
4. Watch their hands
- Do they keep their hands in their lap or pockets? They may be trying to
hide something.
5. Lip or Fingernail Biting
Someone may be doing this if they’re trying to relax under tension or in an
uncomfortable circumstance.
6. Read facial expression
- Are they smiling or frowning?
- Is their smile genuine (wrinkles around the eyes and mouth)?
- Are their lips pursed or relaxed?
- Is their jaw clenched or relaxed?
The Second Technique: Listen to your intuition
You can tune in to someone in a way that goes beyond listening to what
they’re communicating to you through their nonverbal signs or words. You
can do this through your instinct.
Your instinct is what your gut is telling you, not what your head is saying.
You glean it from nonverbal data that you pick up on, and it doesn’t have
anything to do with logic. You can call it, picking up on someone’s vibe or
someone’s “aura.” With instinct, you can look beyond the obvious to
discover a fantastic story.
List of intuitive ideas
1. Consider your gut feeling
Tune in to what your emotions are saying, especially during first
encounters. It’s an automatic response that takes place before you get a
chance to think. It’s your inner truth meter telling you whether or not you
can trust the person in front of you.
2. Feel the goosebumps
Goosebumps are the tremendous, automatic chill that we experience when
we encounter someone who moves us, makes us alert, or says something
that we can relate to. It can be a positive or a negative reaction to someone
or something.
3. Focus on flashes of thoughts
During discussions, you may get an “ah-ha” moment about someone. Hold
on to this thought. Often our first thought about someone is the right one.
4. Pay attention to intuitive empathy
Occasionally you may feel the physical pain and feelings of individuals as
if they were your own.
The Third Technique: Feeling emotional energy
Emotional energy, born out of our inner thoughts and feelings, is the
“atmosphere” or “aura” that we radiate.
We register this emotional energy with instinct. Some people radiate
positive energy; we spend time with them and feel energized, happy, and
comfortable. Other people have negative emotional energy; after interacting
with them, we feel drained, unhappy, or irritable.
We need to be aware of how others’ emotional energy can impact us.
How to read emotional energy
1. Observe their presence
This refers to the energy that we radiate out into the universe. It’s not our
words or our behavior.
- Do they have a friendly approach that attracts you?
- Do they give you the “creeps”?
- Do they make you feel calm?
2. Follow people’s eyes
Our eyes radiate fantastic energy. Observing someone’s eyes is like looking
into their soul. You can gather a lot from what someone’s inner thoughts
and feelings are by looking at their eyes.
- Do they seem observant and watchful?
- Do their eyes seem to flash with anger?
- Do their eyes have a cold, hard look to them?
- Do their eyes seem to “smile”?
- Do they hold your gaze, or are they quick to look away?
3. Note the sensation of a handshake, hug, or touch
We share our emotional energy through physical contact, just like an
electric current. Ask yourself, does a handshake or a hug feel warm,
pleasant, and safe? Or, on the other hand, is it unpleasant, making you want
to back off? Are their hands moist? Do they avoid physical contact
altogether?
4. Tune in to the tone of voice and laughter
The tone and volume of our voice share a lot about our feelings. Sound
frequencies cause vibrations that affect us emotionally. Notice how their
way of speaking affects you. Does their tone convey confidence? Or is it
grating, coarse, or whiny?
Subconscious language
The subconscious mind is seen as the source of creativity, instinct,
motivation, inner knowing, interconnectedness, and spirituality.
Within this domain, reality moves and grows, creating a more versatile and
multidimensional grid than seen by the conscious brain. When we spend
time in the subconscious mind, we’re released from the limits of our logical
and rational brain. The messages we receive from our fantasies and ancient
symbols, or the teachings of our ancestors, teach us what’s excellent,
reliable, and sacred to each of us. As we consider these messages, we
follow the path of our mind’s progress.
These images and archetypes are essential components of the collective
subconscious mind, the general intra-psychic organizing apparatus born to
humans. It seems that the crucial progress data we’ve learned in previous
eras have been given to us as an easy route to our development.
If something related to human consciousness is discovered, it’s not essential
to relearn it. It’s innate and permanent as a person.
The “endless language” of the unconscious life in us always served to
provide hints and information, offers, and directions. Figuring out how to
get to the subconscious mind and ultimately harness its potential can help
us see differently. In addition to our conscious brain and regular detection,
coverage is lifted, exposing a universe of boundless possibilities.
What’s so pervasive here is that words are powerless to tell or convey a
message. The symbol, the authentic image or design, moves through the
whole idea or concept without using words to describe it. The thought is
compelling because of how we “talk” to ourselves, our internal language,
how we know our identity comes not from words but from the constant
source that understands our character.
A short instruction exercise, if you’re still unclear. The left hemisphere
controls the vast majority of neuromuscular and motor function on the
right. The right half controls the left side. However, there’s a stark contrast
in terms of the quality and character of the hemisphere.
The region’s left side is heavily engaged in intelligent, analytical thinking,
such as verbal and numerical skills. The right side of the territory, on the
other hand, is generally liable for direction in space, self-perception,
recognition of appearances, and imaginative endeavors.
The right side of the body or mind of the body is related to the masculine,
and its features are “self-confidence, aggressiveness, and coercion.” The left
side is seen as feminine, and its attributes are “emotionality, lack of
involvement, creative idea, and holistic expressions.”
An interesting ongoing hypothesis recommends that a “holistic,
synchronous, synthetic, and solid perspective of the world are the basic
features of a female viewpoint: straight, sequential, reductionist, and
conceptual reasoning characterizes the masculine.”
Each individual has the full limit on both sets. In a perfect world, these
should exist in the same way, no more critical or stable than the others.
Leonard Shlain, in The Alphabet Vs. The Goddess presents compelling
evidence suggesting that the appearance of the compound word, and then
the letters in sequence, has changed the view of recently educated societies.
Word and images are “correlative contrasts” that they must coexist on an
equal footing. While the summarized organizations made everything
feminine, advances toward the written word supported the male-male
culture, which dominated in the long run. While this hypothesis is relatively
incredible and can clarify a significant portion of how things have found a
workable pace as they are, that’s not the point.
What’s often necessary is the possibility of using mental imagery and
symbolism to communicate. The corruption of the idea of the word
is our way of thinking if mankind has been in danger. It may clarify the
failure of holistic expression about the right cerebrum. It’s recommended
that TV, film, and the internet reintroduce the images representing
heightened awareness and full expression. We can hope this is real.
 TRICKS TO ANALYZE OTHERS AND
CHANGE WHAT OTHERS BELIEVE

How to Analyze People

Create a baseline
People have different views and behavioral patterns. While talking to us,
people are often clearing their throats, gazing at the floor, flailing their
arms around, stroking their necks, hunching their shoulders, pouting,
frowning, shaking their legs… Sometimes, we don’t even notice when
they do it. Often, when we do, we find them rude.
In this world, people perform these little gestures for various reasons. It
could just be “their way,” like a nervous tic, and nothing to read into.
Occasionally, however, these same movements could also reveal
dishonesty, annoyance, and nervousness. Studying someone’s normal
behavior—their baseline—will help you realize when there’s more to their
gestures than meets the eye.
Look for anomalies
Pay attention to inconsistencies in a person’s behavior with the baseline
you’ve established. You may have noticed that they’ve got a habit of
repeatedly clearing their throat when they’re nervous or afraid.
When you notice moderately small changes in their baseline, you can
probe further by asking specific questions that’ll help uncover the true
meaning behind their words.
Notice clusters of signs
Clusters of communication cues (body language or facial expressions)
could be significant and help you interpret the true meaning behind
someone’s words. For example, if your car dealer is consistently clearing
his throat, touching his nose, and shifting about on his feet, it could
indicate that he’s not entirely truthful.
Remember to work carefully. You must be comparing and contrasting;
certain tics or nonverbal signs may just be a part of someone’s normal
behavior. When meeting someone for the first time, observe how they
communicate with you. Note, also, if they speak the same way with
others.
How and when does that person change their facial expressions? How do
they behave with others, and how do they talk to other people? How do
they use body language to communicate?
Watch for mirroring
A mirror neuron is a neuron that’s activated when we take action and then
see it being performed by someone else. Mirror neurons are integral to our
emotional intelligence. They allow us to learn through imitation body
language, facial expressions, and emotions. They allow us to reproduce
the mood of others.
When we read another person’s body language, we’re able to mirror or
mimic it. A person’s smile activates the power of a smile on our face,
while a frown triggers our frown muscles.
If you find people aren’t mirroring your actions in social interactions, it
can send a strong message. For example, if someone isn’t smiling back at
you, it could mean they’re not interested in you, and perhaps you
shouldn’t continue further with your interaction.
Identify the strongest voice in the room
The most influential person in a room will tend to be the one who speaks
and carries themselves in a self-assured manner. Confident people tend to
have a strong voice, speak with sincerity and clarity, carry themselves
with dignity, and smile openly and broadly.
However, never confuse a strong voice with one that’s merely loud. It’s
easy to think that the person talking the loudest is a natural leader. But that
person may have a weak personality. Their loudness could be masking
deep insecurities or weaknesses. They may rely heavily on others to make
decisions or be easily influenced. A strong voice—full, deep, and
convincing—signals somebody with leadership potential. Seek these
people out, and try to establish a rapport.
Watch how people move
People reveal a lot about themselves through the way they move. If
someone walks with their head held high and chest open, making long,
purposeful strides, chances are that they’re a confident person with a
positive outlook on life. Someone moves more hesitantly, with hunched
shoulders and their head down; they may be more pessimistic or lack self-
esteem.
When you note how people walk, stand, and generally move around,
you’ll be able to get a better idea about their character, personality, and
attitude to life.
Listen to the words people use
Listen clearly to the types of words people are using. Are they using many
motivating words or phrases, such as “I can do this” or “That’s a great
idea”? This may indicate that they’re a go-getter, someone who’s a zest for
life and likes to be successful. Someone like this may make a good boss or
leader. A person’s words represent their visions, their viewpoints, and
their attitude. You need to clearly understand what they’re saying to you,
what kind of terms they choose while talking to you. Yes, actions do speak
louder than words. Often, words signal an intent; they can be a call to
action and a hint at someone’s inner world.
Look for specific clues about personality
Every person has a unique character. There are clues to help you better
read or determine someone’s personality:
What general behavior traits do they exhibit?
Do they appear ambitious in terms of relationships and life
success?
How do they deal with anger or uncertainty?
How do they feed their ego?
How would they act under extreme stress?
 What kind of behavior do they show when they’re delighted
about something?
Be aware of generational differences
You need to clearly understand the characteristics of a social group,
community, or generation that a person belongs to understand that
individual’s viewpoints, ambitions, character, and attitudes.
The generation gap can be perfectly exemplified in how “millennials” and
“baby boomers” prefer different modes of communication.
Millennials are happy to sit behind their computer screens or on their
mobile phones, voicing their opinions on Twitter, Instagram, Tik Tok,
Facebook, and blogs. They connect with others via the medium of
technology and have grown up with the internet. They’re used to
interacting with others in a non-face-to-face capacity. Baby boomers, on
the other hand, like to talk to someone personally.
Some experts say that if you consider someone’s generation, you’ll know
the best method for building a bond. For millennials, making a business
deal could quickly be done via Skype or Zoom. For baby boomers, they’d
probably prefer to meet in person before making any decisions.
Listen more than you talk
It’s far better to have “big ears” and a “small mouth” when trying to form
a bond with someone. The best way to initiate a relationship is to actively
listen to someone.
You must ask open questions to enable the individual to share their
strengths with you and tell you their experiences, hopes, and dreams.
When they know that you’re interested and really listening to them, they’ll
start to ask you questions, too.
By agreeing on a topic of discussion, asking questions, and properly
listening, you’ll be able to get a much better understanding of someone’s
character flaws and virtues.
Look out for strengths and weaknesses
It’s a good idea to observe and note their capabilities and weaknesses to
determine who people are as individuals and what’s important to them.
For example, someone who thinks and reasons systematically is likely to
make a good scientist or academic. Someone who’s a very firm handshake
may be confident and used to negotiating and managing big business
deals. A person who talks clearly and concisely and can make sense of
complicated ideas could be a teacher.
Note nonverbal communication
Nonverbal behavior, such as body language, is significant and subject to
much discussion and research. For example, we could say that if someone
leans forward towards you, they’re engaged and interested in what you’re
saying. If they back away, look down or turn slightly away from you, it
means that they’re not connected to what you’re saying.
It’s also essential to tune your ear into the more subtle sounds people
produce or how they speak. Quality of speech—tone, volume, speed—can
provide vital clues to a person’s character or attitude. For example, if
someone responds to you in a monotonous tone, they’re probably not
interested in your ideas or what you’ve just said. If someone murmurs
words like, “sure,” “really,” and “hmm,” it’s likely that they’re interested
in you and fully engaged.
Picking up on subtleties in speech is more difficult when you’re
communicating over the phone. We’re more likely to miss out on cues,
such as sighs of exasperation or slight trembles in someone’s voice. You’ll
need to develop a good ear to listen out for more subdued sounds and
changes in tone.
Always pay attention to dress and appearance
Is someone dressed for success—smart clothing, polished shoes, carefully-
styled hair—or are they more casually dressed in jeans and a T-shirt. The
former may suggest that the person is ambitious and self-confident. The
latter may signal that someone is very relaxed. Take note of what people
wear and how they groom themselves. It’s often an excellent indicator of
their state of mind, their social status, their ambition, their intent, or their
general well-being. It can also show any spiritual or political leanings the
person possesses, such as wearing religious symbols as jewelry.
Try to pick up on “attitude.”
When trying to read people’s character, you should always ask yourself: is
their head held high, showing that they’re confident? Or do they walk
indecisively or hunched over—a sign of low self-esteem or uncertainty?
Do they brag while puffing out their chest, which could be a sign of
arrogance? Look out for how the person carries themselves, how they
move, what gestures they use, and how they sit. These are all good
giveaways.
Also, look out for how people move when interacting with you. Do they
lean away, cross their arms, and try to distance themselves slightly? Or do
they move a bit closer to listen to what you have to say? Generally, we
tend to lean to people we like or are interested in and distance ourselves
from people who disinterest or bore us or who we don’t trust. Cross arms
or legs are a sign of defensiveness, a subconscious gesture suggesting that
they’re either angry or mistrustful.
Typically, when people direct their toes towards someone, it means that
they’re comfortable with them. Turned away feet means someone could
literally be looking for the door—they want to get away from you!
Someone who leaves their hands in their pockets or behind their back
could be hiding something or not being truthful. Open arms and palms
suggest honesty and openness.
Lip or nail-biting and skin picking may be signs of self-soothing in
situations where a person is uncomfortable or stressed.
Be aware of facial expressions
Feelings can be printed all over a face. Look out for signs of concern,
anger, or reflection, such as furrowed brows or lip curls. Spontaneous
wrinkles around the eyes and mouth are the rays of joy someone is feeling.
Wrinkled lips indicate annoyance, contempt, or anger. Teeth grinding and
clenched jaws are signs of tension.
Listen to your intuition
Your intuition means listening to your instincts. It’s otherwise known as
your “gut feeling.”
Your intuition relies more on nonverbal information that you perceive
through observing someone’s mannerisms and general demeanor. If you
want to truly understand someone, you need to try and get to their
“essence.” Intuition shows you that there’s more to the story.
You should always listen to your gut feelings, especially during first
encounters. That instinctive reaction that happens before you’ve got the
chance to overthink is often precious.
Your instinct communicates to you whether or not you feel comfortable.
Instinctive feelings happen quickly and could be considered the original
and best reaction to a situation or a person. Instincts are your inner rhythm
of facts, and they talk to you. People should never underestimate their
instincts’ validity or importance.
Do you get goosebumps?
Goosebumps are a great spontaneous physical reaction when we hear
something that surprises, moves, or stimulates us. If someone gives you
goosebumps, it could be your way of telling yourself that you’re excited,
scared, or need to be cautious.
Goosebumps can also be a sign of déjà vu, the sensation of having lived
through the present moment at some point in the past.
Pay attention to flashes of insight
Stay alert while communicating with others. Listen carefully to what
someone is saying and how they’re expressing it. If you’re more involved,
you’ll experience a lightbulb moment, for example, where you think,
“Aha, that’s interesting!” You can gain a better insight into other people,
and your own understanding of yourself, by listening correctly.
Be empathetic
Occasionally, we may be able to experience the physical or mental
experiences of someone else. This is an extreme form of empathy, a tacit
understanding of someone else’s pain or thought processes.
When we express or experience empathy, it opens us up to other people. It
allows us to better explore their inner workings, their hopes, and their
fears. It also enables others to feel more connected to us and more likely
to respond to us favorably.
Pick up on emotional energy
Emotions are a spectacular expression of our inner strengths or
weaknesses. Some people have good emotional energy; they’ll restore
your nature and strength. Others may have poor emotional energy; they’ll
tend to drain you or put unfair demands on you.
In Chinese medicine, this life force is called “chi,” and it’s the energy flow
essential for health.
The general force we radiate doesn’t necessarily correspond to our words
or our behavior. You can try to read other people’s emotional energy by
asking yourself if they’ve got a friendly appearance that radiates warmth
and attracts other people. Or do they tend to make other people nervous or
on edge?
Always observe the eyes
Our eyes cast immense influence over others and transmit important
information about our inner thoughts and feelings.
Take some time to analyze people’s eyes. Are they kind? Do they twinkle?
Do they radiate calm? Do they tend to flash with anger? Also, ask yourself
if the eyes keep a steady, confident gaze or if they tend to shift or look
away.
The eyes are the window to the soul; observing others’ will help you
develop a better understanding of who they are as a person.
Notice handshakes and embraces
We transmit our emotional energy through physical interaction— just like
an electric current.
Ask yourself if a handshake or a hug feels genuine, satisfying, or
confident. Or is that physical touch unpleasant, limp, or too firm?
Keep note of what these physical interactions feel like. They reflect the
other person’s character and how they feel about themselves or about you.
Listen out for tone of voice
The quality and volume of our voice reveal much about our emotions,
inner thoughts, and personality. It can also influence how we make people
around us feel or respond to us. Take note of how different people’s voices
have different effects on you. Some have soothing tones, which make you
want to stick around. Others may have whiny or overbearing voices,
which make you want to run a mile.

How to Change What People Believe

Practice what you preach
If you want other people to change, start by taking a careful look at
yourself. Make sure you practice what you preach. If you’re trying to alter
someone’s beliefs or actions, they’ll be looking to you as an example.
Make sure you’re not “all talk.” People are far more likely to respond
favorably or agree with you if they perceive you as someone who stays
true to their word. They need tangible evidence that any changes they
make in their life will be positive and not in vain.
Let’s take teachers as an example. Many teachers make it a point to work
in rooms with the doors open. This is a smart move; it shows students that
they’re hard at work, even when class is finished, it communicates
openness and accessibility and allows them to have their “ear to the
ground” in terms of what’s going on outside of the classroom.
When a teacher behaves like this, their students are more likely to respond
favorably towards them. They’ll see a teacher who’s diligent, friendly, and
involved with the rest of the school community. It makes it far more likely
that this teacher will get good results from their students. Their class will
tend to listen more and have greater respect for their tutor.
Plus, if this teacher also engages in research, writes articles, organizes
activities, undertakes extra tuition, or does administrative work, they’ll be
in the good books of the rest of their school too—parents, faculty staff,
and the school board.
When people observe an individual who’s succeeding in life, who’s
involved with their community, who’s open to discussion, and who takes
the time to help out others, they’ll be encouraged to copy that behavior
and attitude listen to that individual.
People are only likely to be influenced by someone they see as authentic
—someone who’s true to themselves and others.
Set goals
A goal is a final objective that provides a focus for your motivational
energy. Long-term goals tend to need more energy; it’s hard to keep
focused when the end isn’t yet in sight.
Whether a goal is long-term or short-term will have an effect on the
individual’s actions and behavior. Many people are keen to get quick
results and focus their mental and physical energy on more immediate
gains.
If you want to help someone change, your job is to help them set daily
short-term goals that’ll eventually lead to long-term success. They have to
look at it as the commercial sale of a product.
Most businesses would go bust if they only sold one product to one
person, once. The short term goal (making a sale) may be one step to
success, but it’s certainly not the only step. To make a profit, the business
needs to keep selling, and this is where other goals have to be made and
met. They need to employ salespeople, take out TV or newspaper ads, and
think of promotional campaigns.
The same goes for wanting to lose weight. The end goal is essential, but it
may seem an overwhelming task at first. Equally vital is setting yourself
small goals along the way. You may decide that you’ll stick to going for a
run twice a week or only eating one candy bar once a week. You also need
to be reminded of what you want to achieve. It may mean that you leave
little notes on your refrigerator or hang your gym bag by your front door
so you don’t forget it.
Give appropriate feedback
We’ve tremendous power to influence people’s attitudes and behavior by
the feedback we provide them. Therefore, we need to be mindful of what
we say to others and how we say it. This is particularly true in instances
where we’re trying to cause a change (in others’ actions or beliefs).
Let’s say you’re at a restaurant with a friend who’s on a diet. The waiter
comes over and asks what you want for dessert, and your friend replies,
“Nothing for me. Just a coffee, please.” You then say to your friend,
“Wow! I don’t know how you do it. You must have a lot of willpower.”
Your intention is to show admiration and encouragement, to tell your
friend that you think they’re doing great with their diet. However, the
word “willpower” implies they have to struggle to fight some sort of
impulse. Willpower can come and go, depending on our mood. If your
friend was to find themselves in a weak moment, would their ability to
refuse dessert be the same?
It’d be far better to say, “Wow! I love how you’re making healthy choices.
And you look great. I think I’ll hold off on dessert, too. Tell me more
about it…”
It’s far more effective to give positive feedback, one thought focusing on
strength rather than potential weakness or susceptibility to failure. With
the second response, you’re still conveying your message of admiration
while forcing your friend to reinforce their own success and long-term
goal by getting them to talk about their diet.
Feedback can be tailored according to different personalities and to what
you’re trying to encourage a person to change about themselves. Some
experts state that positive and negative feedback has different mental
effects on people. Positive feedback helps people to engage with you and
your message. Negative feedback is sometimes suitable for encouraging
people to develop.
However, when people first change their behavior, the positive reaction is
appreciated because it helps them feel a better sense that they’ll reach their
goals. It’s always best to aim for constructive criticism: helpful feedback,
which gives the other person specific suggestions on how to help them
make positive improvements or change.
This first phase of behavioral change can be a delicate time, so it’ll be
helpful to reinforce the person’s commitment to change. However, over
time, people can deviate from their path; they may grow bored or
discouraged and feel they’re achieving too little (or nothing at all).
At this stage, they’re adversely affected by negative feedback, as it’s a
stark reminder of where they’re now and where they need to be. They
won’t feel good about themselves and will respond more favorably to
positive comments or reinforcements.
However, in the last phase of change or development, optimistic feedback
is sometimes not as inspiring as negative feedback. While it can be
problematic to give bad feedback, it’s sometimes essential to make people
feel discomfort when working with them to change behavior. When you
serve people to fulfill their calling, you can utilize uncomfortable truths to
help spur them on towards their end goal.
Always support good habits
When someone wants to change the behavior of the people around them,
they have to think about creating reliable, consistent tasks. Are there ways
to get people to reorganize their environment in a way that supports
healthy habit creation? How can you get people to take action so often that
it becomes a habit?
An example of healthy, sustained habit creation? Imagine a hospital
environment. It’s been discovered that the infection rate associated with
IV use within the ICU is high. The hospital decides to assign one nurse to
ensure that procedures regarding sanitary insertion of IVs are adhered to
and monitored. Cleaning packs are distributed for the use of IVs. Each
clinical staff member is instructed on using these packs and told that the
steps must be adhered to every time.
Soon after these practices are introduced and become commonplace, the
infection rate dramatically reduces.
This mix of alterations within the hospital setting and clinical staff’s
routine formed a reliable mapping that became a healthy habit. It reduced
the occurrence of IV infections to almost zero, which significantly
improved patient outcomes.
Taking advantage of people’s laziness
The harder it becomes for someone to behave poorly or continue with a
bad habit—in terms of energy and time they have to spend on it—the
more likely they’ll stop that behavior. People’s laziness can be used to
produce a change for the better!
The easiest way to make this possible is to change people’s environments.
For example, prohibiting smoking in office settings, including all public
areas, forces smokers to walk far whenever they want to light up. Chances
are, those individuals will significantly reduce their daily intake of
cigarettes, as it just takes too much effort.
 CHAPTER 13

Role of Emotional Intelligence in the Workplace

Emotional intelligence (EQ) helps in different life areas but is especially

crucial in the workplace. Possessing it can take you further in your

career. The ability to accept constructive, guilt-free, blame-free feedback

will help you grow as an employee and succeed in your profession.

EQ is beneficial in the workplace because you’re less likely to make

mistakes or make bad decisions that can affect performance. You can also
use logic and reasoning to focus before responding to people or
situations. EQ is central to a productive workplace. People with EQ are
better able to manage tensions, solve problems, and cooperate with
others.
Business EQ, or the ability to understand your feelings and others’, is
essential no matter what company you’re in. By perfecting your EQ skills,
you can gain a competitive advantage over others (and likely improve your
income and job satisfaction) by successfully working with people and
solving complex problems.
People’s EQ and related skills are critical—because people are an essential
part of any business. Emotions are crucial pieces of information that must
be weighed when making decisions, even if it means knowing when to
block them.
Controlling emotions is at the heart of people’s ability to be flexible and
open to change, collaborate, seek input, take risks, deal with conflict, and
perform under pressure. If emotions aren’t under control, it’ll damage
partnerships and cooperation, hinder innovation, and disrupt an
organization’s success.
While the ability to use emotions to improve motivation and concentration
also includes EQ, it also consists of the skill, if necessary, to break away
from potent short-term emotions to better focus on the tasks at
hand. Because of the dominant role emotions play in managing strategies
and dealing with subordinates, managers must be especially aware of and
critically focus on their negative emotions that may arise in the
workplace.
Leaders can improve their EQ by taking a moment to learn about people
and become more self-aware about their own emotions. If you practice
becoming more aware of your own feelings and reactions to others, you’ll
become more empathetic.
For leadership positions, EQ is also helpful. At work, leaders supervise and
manage people, and that quality helps make them accessible, empowered,
and critical.
The emotional maturity of leadership also implies dealing with stressful
situations and dealing with problems without shouting or blaming others.
As it becomes more critical to hire the right employees in this competitive
world, there are now some practical ways to find qualified people and EQ.
Companies and organizations have become acutely aware that emotionally
intelligent people are usually the best employees. A person with emotional
intelligence is optimistic, empathetic, an excellent communicator and
listener, definite, willing to accurately convey highs and lows of their days,
and someone with extraordinary people skills and a difference-
maker. You’ve updated yourself and are high on Maslow’s needs
ladder.
Emotionally intelligent leaders know how to handle tension in a way that
motivates rather than discourages their team. They also know why their
team players react in a certain way. Quality is sometimes linked to emotion,
and leaders with EQ can distinguish what makes their team
happy. Promoting a healthy environment can increase productivity.
EQ is the ability to reason about emotions and sensitive facts, and thought-
enhancing emotions are essential to understanding ourselves and others’
feelings to strengthen interpersonal relationships.
High emotional intelligence is associated with better work efficiency, better
teamwork, more innovation, employee engagement, and change
acceptance. In addition to the workplace, emotionally smart people also
enjoy better interpersonal relationships at home.
EQ is one of the pillars of a successful life, and self-awareness is one of the
roots of emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence tells the people
around you about your feelings and the world. And self-awareness is trained
to show you how to identify your feelings, their causes, and their response
to them.
It’s a difficult task to develop EQ, but it’s a great way to improve your
relationship with others. One way to build EQ is to control your thoughts.
Watch your feelings deal with your emotions all day long. Thoughts release
chemicals in the brain that control the way we do things. When we realize
that relationship, we’ll work to reduce the negative emotions we feel. By
not empowering the thoughts that cause negative emotions, we’re dealing
with positive emotions and focusing on the ideas.
Trust and EQ both play essential roles in our social life simply because they
enable you to survive. You can’t meet your requirements without
confidence. You can’t understand the emotional environment in the
room without EQ.
You can learn EQ; it’s a lifelong operation. And it’s never too late; it only
requires constant study and practice. No matter how old or young you are,
you can still incorporate EQ and make your life better and healthier.
EQ is key to creating a healthy mind, making the most of life, and creating
a safer world through our behavior. In today’s dysfunctional world, our best
hope for an optimistic future is emotional intelligence.
DISCOVER HOW YOU CAN BE SUCCESSFUL
AT WORK BY ACQUIRING EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE

Developing emotional intelligence (EQ) will help in personal life, but it’ll
allow the individual to succeed in other areas, such as their workplace.
Some of the benefits of EQ in the workplace are:
Better teamwork
People with higher EQ work well together because of their excellent
communication skills. They trust each other’s instincts and listen to others’
suggestions. People with a higher EQ listen to others’ opinions, analyze the
tips, and work accordingly. These individuals give each member of the team
a voice and make them feel part of a group.
A team that encourages each member’s growth is more productive
compared to a team that doesn’t work to the same standards. So, when
people feel valued, they work more effectively, which benefits their
company.
Handling change better
Today, industries and, therefore, workspaces are continually evolving. The
companies operating under these changes need to change and adapt to
thrive.
Companies and organizations have to continuously adapt their working
methods to stay relevant and profitable. For this purpose, individuals in the
workplace should also stay informed and be prepared for different types of
change.
A person who can effectively deal with change and be productive is an asset
to a company. Developing EQ enables an individual to deal with these
changes more effectively.
Good communication skills
Practical communication skills are vital for most organizations.
Communication is needed to present ideas and concepts, sell or market
products, negotiate deals, and deal with clients, colleagues, and
management.
Individuals with EQ can express themselves clearly and concisely, are open
to questions, answer questions thoughtfully and effectively, and won’t let
emotions (such as frustration, anger, or disappointment) get in the way of
their interactions with others.
Therefore, EQ is vital within a company or work environment that wishes
to stay productive and thriving. Today, EQ is an essential criterion when
hiring employees.
Good social skills
EQ helps people connect and creates bonds and trust between
individuals. Trust is necessary for a workspace, whether between a boss or
an employee, or a customer and a company.
If a boss trusts their employee to work on a big project, that employee has
an excellent opportunity to learn and progress, which may ultimately lead to
promotion.
If a customer trusts a company, it’ll help the company retain that customer,
in turn creating sales and profit.
It makes good leaders
The traits associated with EQ are the same traits that make a good leader.
These include having excellent social and communication skills, empathy,
and self-awareness, and emotional regulation.
A good leader can communicate effectively in the workspace so that their
colleagues have a clear idea of their common goal.
An effective leader can most effectively represent their company and
recognize and utilize their employees’ skills to assign work or customers.
A leader must listen to, value, and analyze the opinions of all their team
members. It’ll help give the leader a broader perspective and more options
to consider before making a decision.
These are examples of how EQ is an essential quality for a leader to possess
and why EQ will bring success into the workplace.
A solid problem-solving approach
People with high EQ not only own their problems but also try to solve
them. Such individuals identify the loopholes in a plan and work to narrow
them as much as possible. It helps the company and, ultimately, the
individual.
A better understanding of a person’s strengths and weaknesses
A good leader can recognize their subordinates’ strengths and weaknesses
and act accordingly to benefit both the company and the individuals. To this
end, an effective leader must also know their own strengths and weaknesses
and take constructive measures.
For example, imagine a situation where an employee has strong technical
skills but is lacking in communication. Their boss can decide that it doesn’t
matter; their technical expertise is what’s most important at this moment in
time. Getting the job done is enough.
However, another approach the boss could take is deciding to develop the
individual’s communication skills. His reasoning? It’ll help the individual
in the long run. A good leader makes decisions based on the present and
considers the long-term effects of their choices.
Good persuasion skills
People with excellent communication skills tend to have good persuasion
skills. They know how to listen appropriately, talk assertively, and gain the
trust of others.
Avoiding unnecessary drama
People with high EQ regulate their emotions effectively and help other
individuals regulate their emotions. This helps prevent unnecessary
arguments, conflict, or drama at work.
More motivation
People with higher EQ are more motivated to achieve their goals. It’s
because they carefully analyze the possible outcomes of every decision they
make and are well prepared if something goes wrong.
They can quickly adapt to change and remain optimistic about working
more effectively without losing their motivation.
Staying positive
The key to productivity in the workplace could be said to be a positive
attitude.
Maintaining a positive attitude helps on an individual level and helps
regulate people’s emotions in their environment. The team will remain
committed to achieving their goals regardless of any hiccups along the way.
An EQ person prefers to work in a productive and positive work
environment, and their own qualities are an excellent example to the people
around them.
EXERCISES THAT HELP REDUCE ANXIETY:
YOGA, MEDITATION, AND MASSAGE

Mental health experts often recommend exercise as part of the treatment of

mental illness. Exercise eases many indications of depression, including
fatigue, stress, and anger, and those of panic disorders and other anxiety
disorders.
Exercise is a healthy, productive way to ease stress, tension, and anxiety. It
also decreases the sensitivity to the body’s response to nervousness. A
regular exercise program can help people overcome some of the debilitating
symptoms of mental unrest or imbalance. We shall be taking a look at some
of these different types of exercise.
Yoga
Yoga works to reduce stress and relieve physical tension and is also a form
of strength training. It’ll make you more flexible and more dynamic. Yoga
also uses deep breathing, which triggers the body’s relaxation
response. Several studies have confirmed that yoga also lowers blood
pressure.
One of the main benefits of yoga is the emphasis on mindfulness that it
promotes. Concentration is key to stress management. Practicing the
positions correctly requires attention and focus, keeping your mind alert to
what you’re doing rather than worrying about other things.
Some yoga classes, such as Hatha, are softer and mainly focus on stress
relief, while others, such as Ashtanga, Vinyasa, and Bikram, are more
“physical.” A great benefit is that it can either be done with others in a class
or alone at home.
Practicing yoga will keep your body fit and healthy, and your mind relaxed
and stress-free.
Tai Chi
This form of exercise also works to reduce stress. Derived from an ancient
Chinese martial art, it connects physical drive with the breath.
It’s also known as meditation in motion, emphasizing the present moment
to help dispel worry and stress. Tai chi also increases flexibility and energy
levels, resulting in a better sense of well-being.
This exercise also has other benefits, including helping to gain better
balance, a good night’s sleep, and better blood circulation.
Tai chi contains more than 108 gentle movements and thirteen postures.
Like yoga, there’s an emphasis on breathing, and there are numerous styles
that vary in strength. In yoga, you stretch to relax, and in tai chi, you relax
to stretch.
Qigong
Qigong is an exercise incorporating coordinated body-posture movement,
breathing, and meditation.

Practicing qigong can promote feelings of serenity, improve sleep and

digestion, and increase energy. The slow, gentle actions and emphasis on
moving in harmony with the breath are calming to an anxious system.
Walking
Walking also helps to overcome stress. It can be done at a relaxed pace and
requires no lessons or special equipment. Walking can limit the occurrence
of many stress-related conditions, such as circulatory and vascular diseases,
high blood pressure, obesity, and type 2 diabetes.
People who walk regularly report reduced stress levels and increased self-
confidence. When the muscles are used, it releases tension, while physical
activity releases endorphins, which improves mood. The focus on breathing
calms the nervous system. And all the better if you get the opportunity to go
for a walk in nature.
Five or six 30-minute walks a week is a good standard to aim for to keep
your mental and physical health in tip-top condition.
Gardening
Gardening is an excellent low-impact workout. Weeding alone can burn up
to 200 calories per hour. But gardening has the added bonus of getting you
back in touch with nature—a great stress-busting activity. Plus, getting rid
of all those weeds will make you feel productive and happy with the
results.
Dancing
Dancing has many physical, mental, and even emotional benefits. It’s a
great workout that improves grace and agility as it increases your heart rate
and lifts your mood.
Plus, studies have shown that people who ballroom dance twice a week are
less at risk of developing dementia. Learning new steps helps to keep your
brain engaged and ticking.
Dancing also stimulates a sense of social interaction if done in a class
setting. Social activities with a shared sense of purpose lower stress levels
and bring happiness to the participants.
Many types of music or dance bars offer free dance classes. Partners aren’t
often required; all you need are comfortable shoes and a sense of
fun.
Circuit Training
Circuit training involves alternating intervals of strength training and
cardio, with short rest periods in between. The result is a high-intensity
workout that provides a quick, effective boost to your health. It stimulates
your body’s endorphins (therefore restoring your mood and reducing
stress), builds stamina, and burns calories. The best thing? You get results in
less time than other forms of exercise would take.
Tennis
As with other forms of cardio training, tennis can stop many stress-related
conditions, including high blood pressure and heart disease, and releases
those all-important feel-good chemicals—endorphins.
Playing tennis helps you to stay connected with your friends. Social
interaction is an important way to reduce stress, avoid boredom, and stay
happy.
Swedish Massage
Swedish massage aims to warm up muscle tissue to release and get rid of
toxins, tightness, and sensitivity.
The massage strokes are longer and more relaxed than many other massage
methods and are usually done using the hands. The strokes go up along the
shoulders, down the back, and up again. Swedish massage is done with
lighter or deeper pressure, depending on what the client prefers.
It’s very soothing and relaxing and ideal for someone who’s never tried
massage therapy before.
Deep Tissue Massage
This is the manipulation of the body’s soft tissues. It’s usually done more
with the forearm to apply more pressure. The two most common techniques
are:
Petrissage. This involves kneading the body. The therapist uses this
technique to get blood flow into a disturbed part of the body. It’s usually
used in a specific section of the body rather than as a whole-body
treatment. Friction heats the muscles and helps transport more targeted
blood movement to an area.
Tapotement is a group of massage movements using some part of the hand.
It’s a fast, rhythmic tapping movement, usually with a higher pressure
force than typically used in other types of massage.
The most in-depth tissue massages are done at a slower pace, with
explanations from the therapist to the client. Sometimes it feels
uncomfortable, to begin with, but proper breathing will enable the person to
feel its benefits.
Trigger Point Release Massage
This type of massage aims to get into those little, tight knots that develop in
our muscles. It’s often done with the thumb and knuckle or elbow to apply
static pressure to those trigger points to release the pain.
This type of massage is meant to be more therapeutic than relaxing, as it
aims to treat pain and tight muscles. It may be uncomfortable at first, but
the results are worth it.
Hot Stone Massage
Some people may be dubious about the effectiveness of using hot stones to
relax and relieve tension. However, it’s been shown to bring many
therapeutic benefits.
A therapist will use smooth, heated stones on the body’s specific points and
may also hold the stones while giving a massage. The stones’ heat and
weight relax the muscles, so the therapist can apply deeper pressure to
release tension.
The result? A comforting, soothing, and relaxing experience.
Sports Massage
This massage is carried out before and after a person’s been involved in
some sporting activity. It’s not usually as “soothing” as other massage
types; therapists will apply quick, hard pressure to the muscles to reduce
stiffness and pain.
It’s perfect for anyone physically active. It’ll keep the active individual
healthy, free of tension, and make them feel less stiff.
Finding the Right Therapist
Most massage therapists are trained in Swedish and in-depth tissue
massage. You need to go to someone with specific training, who’s qualified,
and experienced in the methods they practice.
A qualified massage therapist will look at your health history, background,
relevant tests, and lifestyle to match you with the therapy that best suits
your condition.
A good therapist will listen to your needs and determine whether you need
lighter or heavier pressure and overall or targeted massage.
Many people trust that a male therapist is more reliable than a female
therapist and assume that they’ll receive a deeper massage, but this isn’t
true. Many female therapists know how to use their weight and have the
right technique to carry out these massage therapies.
 CHAPTER 14

Use Your Emotional Intelligence to Increase Happiness

Emotional intelligence (EQ) can be described as a person’s ability to be

aware of and control emotions in any situation and express them
accordingly.
Although people may suggest that EQ is something you’re either born with
or not, experts suggest otherwise. They believe that it can be learned,
improved upon, or “upgraded.”
There are two aspects to EQ: “intrapersonal” and “interpersonal.”
Intrapersonal intelligence works according to one’s own emotions, while
interpersonal intelligence works according to others’ feelings.
Some of the benefits that come with EQ are:
- Career success. A person with EQ has strong motivation and can
thrive in different situations, such as managing, leading, and
working as a team.
 - Good relationships, both personally and professionally.
- Personal development and growth. The essential requirement for
this is that the individual must learn to understand, respect, and
accept themselves. This will then enable them to focus outwards,
to help other people also progress.
- Happiness and confidence. This is what’s needed for you to excel
in life. Once a person learns to control and manage their emotions
and not depend on other people to make them happy, they increase
their confidence and learn to stay satisfied on their own terms.
There are countless ways to improve your EQ and, therefore, increase your
happiness. These include:
1. Understanding and recognizing who you are.

In other words, getting to know your personality. People often take

multiple tests to check their EQ, the most common being the Big 5
Personality Test.
The test is based on five personality traits that can be easily
remembered as “OCEAN:”
Openness to Experience: How open a person is to new experiences
and adventures. How creative can the person be in different
situations?
Conscientiousness: How a person is in their daily life organization;
how methodical, reliable, prompt, and thorough.
Extraversion: This represents individual social disposition, whether
an individual is an introvert, extrovert, or ambivert. Introverts often
enjoy solitude, while extroverts are more social. A reasonable
compromise between the two streams is referred to as ambivert.
Agreeableness: How friendly, cooperative, and compassionate
someone is.
Neuroticism: How much control a person has over their emotions,
especially negative ones; otherwise known as emotional stability.
 Once individuals understand all of these traits and how they rank in
each of them, they can start to work on their EQ and take advantage
of it more effectively. They’ll get better at managing themselves and
be able to enjoy better relationships with other people.
Knowing and tracking a person’s personality traits is helpful, but an
individual must also efficiently understand and work with their
strengths and weaknesses.
Strengths can be classified as follows:
Knowledge/wisdom: The creativity someone has when it comes to
generating ideas and the ability to be curious and interested. The
person has sound judgment. They’re open to learning new things and
respect and try to understand the perspectives of others.
Courage: The person remains brave in certain situations and can
persevere and not lose motivation. They’re honest about what they
say and what they do.
Humanity: An individual’s strength can lie in their love for
society. They engage in friendly interactions, can socialize
effectively, and have empathy and compassion for others. They’ve
strong social intelligence.
Justice: The individual has a sense of fairness. They can work in a
team and bring out the best in each of its members. They’re honest
and act with integrity.
Temperance: Moderation is essential. A person will be patient and
have a balanced approach to life. They’re able to forgive and forget
and to regulate themselves when necessary.
Transcendence: The person realizes, appreciates, and is grateful for
the small things. They remain hopeful in situations of despair,
humorous in mundane ones, and seek spirituality where necessary.

All of these traits, when fed adequately, are strengths that can lead to
happiness for an individual.
2. Define your values and beliefs.
 These will vary from person to person. We all have different ways of
thinking and seeing the world. We don’t all value the same things or
have matching needs. Each individual has a different and unique set
of values and beliefs.

So, it makes no sense to try to live by someone else’s values, beliefs,

or goals. Recognize your own, and strive to live by them.

We can look at people as having two types of values: means values

and end values. Means values are a way to get you where you want
to be in life and how you want to feel. End values are the goals that
a person wants to achieve—what they think gives their life purpose
and meaning.
We need to realize that life is a journey with potholes, delays,
cancellations, and failures. With EQ, we’re able to adapt and evolve
to what life throws at us. Our means values, therefore, may need to
change now and then.
Next, establishing your beliefs. While there are many philosophies
and theories about what someone should believe in, there’s no hard-
and-fast rulebook to stick to. A person can choose what they find is
closest to their way of thinking, morally, spiritually, and ethically,
and act on it.
For example, a person may believe in optimism—the ability to look
at the positive side of things. The person shouldn’t only believe in
this value themselves, but also try to get others to think the same
way—without forcing it on them. A person’s actions should be
inspiring enough for other people to follow them.
3. Listen to yourself.

EQ allows us to recognize when our body is sending us signals that

“something’s up.” This could be a tense body, talking internally,
feeling stressed, or being emotionally exhausted. These signals
are difficult to identify if someone isn’t in tune with their emotional
intelligence.
 At the extreme end of not listening to yourself or your body:
sometimes, a person can go blank while doing something and not
handle even normal functions. This is known as ”Amygdala
Hijack.” One solution suggested by therapists is practicing self-
awareness. Some techniques are recommended:
The individual must analyze what led to the hijacking; that is,
what activated their brain in this way. For example, when a
person gets angry, they should identify what caused their
anger. Were they provoked, ignored, misunderstood? Once the
individual recognizes their triggers, they can deal with the
situation more effectively if it arises again.
The person should practice taking breaks when the situation
returns. For example, taking a “time out” and walking away.
Practicing this habit can help the individual achieve a calm
and composed reactive character.
Once the individual has gone through the process more than
once, they can create scenarios in their head and work
through the scene effectively. It’s like planning how to deal
with a tricky situation. If the individual continues to practice
mindfulness in such scenarios, they can deal with them more
productively.

These strategies can be used to manage problems such as

anger, stress, and other bad habits. For example, suppose
someone is suffering from addiction. In that case, they must
first recognize that it’s a bad habit, identify its causes or
triggers, and then take the necessary steps to make
themselves better.
4. Make peace with your past.

From birth, we’ve been exposed to countless experiences and

emotions. These can evoke both joyful and sad memories. What’s
clear is that over the years, they’ve led to building our
consciousness.
 It’s sometimes difficult to “return” to your past, but you need to
heal before you can move on. Thinking about your journey,
experiences, and relationships will allow you to learn more about
yourself. It’ll show what you could’ve done differently, what others
could’ve done differently—but realizing, at the same time, that you
can’t go back and change things.
For example, you may have had a difficult childhood, and the idea
of thinking about it, of revisiting the past is too painful. But you can
learn from it, reconcile yourself with it, and move on. You can
apply valuable lessons from it, allowing it to shape a better future
for yourself and others.
5. Learning about, and dealing with, your emotions.

The first thing a person needs to do is identify their emotions, i.e.,

examine what they feel in specific scenarios—does a particular
situation cause pleasure or comfort; what types of people or
situations trigger you?

You can label your emotions based on what you feel. By identifying
what you think, you can respond to it effectively and act
accordingly. In other words, you’ll be able to manage, or deal with,
your emotions.
Some of the benefits are:
Self-control; less likely to give in to anger.
Less stress.
Knowing how to act appropriately in social scenarios.
Self-confidence and self-assurance.
A better understanding of others’ emotions.
Able to cope better with fear or anxiety.
Recognizing your emotions and then dealing with them is a
technique that’s developed over time. It may take a while, but it’s
vital to keep at it.
Avoiding emotions isn’t recommended, as it can lead to other
harmful behavior such as addiction or self-harm. We need to get to
 the root of our feelings and not ignore them. If expressing emotion
doesn’t hurt anyone, showing it can be helpful. It might show
people that you need help or support.
There are many different healthy outlets for negative emotions.
Some people deal with disturbing emotions by writing letters and
then burning them, for example.
Focusing on the following will help keep negativity at bay:
Self-care; looking after yourself through therapy, pampering,
hobbies, or spending quality time alone.
Removing toxic people from your life and indulging in
healthy relationships.
Working on yourself to develop trust.
Managing your time and energy more effectively. This will
help reduce stress and increase productivity.
Practicing mindfulness and training your mind.

6. Listen to others

You need to actively listen to other people and try to understand

their perspective. If you claim that you already know everything,
you’re sadly mistaken. You’ll quickly realize this as soon as you
start to listen and gather the perspective of others. You’ll learn just
how limited your knowledge actually is.
You must try to expand your knowledge, and for that, you must
listen to others and objectively observe everything around you.

It’s essential to listen to what other people think of you, too. You
can’t change other people’s perceptions of you; however, you can
benefit from knowing what they think your strengths and
weaknesses are. Taking comments and criticism is a sign of
emotional intelligence; it’ll help you learn and grow. It’ll enable
you to make better decisions and to take other people’s opinions
(which might be of more use than your own) into consideration.
7. Improve your communication skills.
 Effective communication involves the use of two types of skills,
namely verbal and nonverbal. Different techniques can be used to
improve these. Verbal communication can be enhanced by including
the following in your daily routine:

Instead of arguing, listen to what other people have to say

about specific topics. It’ll help you to develop
perspective.
Make your conversations a “safe space” in which you and
others can share your experiences without fear of judgment
or negativity. Share your vulnerability. This’ll help develop
trusting bonds with others.
Instead of going into technical details that other people may
not understand, explain things simply and concisely so that
people will stay engaged and interested.
Keep a friendly, open, interested, engaged, and non-
judgmental manner while talking to others.
If you want to improve your nonverbal communication, you can
practice the following techniques:
Be aware of your gestures, facial expressions, and body
language, and how they can affect the other person.
Maintain good eye contact (but don’t stare people
down!).
Maintain a good posture to show confidence.
Try to mirror some of the other person’s gestures; it’ll create a
sense of empathy.
In all your interactions, remember to be:
- Honest, but not critical or judgmental
- Open
- Pleasant but assertive
- Friendly
The main question here is: how can you be honest while being emotionally
intelligent?
Some people claim to be 100% honest because they “speak their mind.” But
they’re speaking without caring about other people’s opinions or
feelings. And some people have a tendency to lie. Both categories show a
lack of EQ. Emotionally intelligent people know what to say and when to
say it. They speak in a friendly, non-aggressive way.
Being open to opinions and agreeing with other people means listening to
other people and appreciating their perspectives. This also means
acknowledging when you’re wrong. All of these things considerations
improve your communication skills and social interactions.
Finally, regardless of the means of communication, it must be done with
love, care, and attention to the other person’s point of view. Only then can
the conversation lead to a successful, mutually satisfactory end.
What makes someone emotionally intelligent?
The following are components of EQ that an individual can learn and
develop:
Self-regulation
Self-awareness
Motivation
Empathy
Social Skills
Self-regulation
This refers to an individual’s ability to regulate their thoughts, emotions,
and impulses and act accordingly.
Self-regulation means that the individual:
Must be in control of themselves; their actions and behavior affect
those around them.
Should try to maintain integrity in their actions.
Must be able to adapt to new ideas and environments to work
effectively.
 Must be creative and comfortable with new ideas.
Must be organized and efficient in their dealings.
Self-awareness
Self-awareness is knowing yourself objectively, being aware of your
shortcomings and strengths, and how your behavior impacts others. Self-
awareness can be gained by taking into account the following factors:
The individual must be able to objectively recognize their strengths
and weaknesses and act accordingly in different situations.
Individuals should be able to assess themselves in different situations
and point out their shortcomings.
The individual must be emotionally aware.
The individual must have self-confidence and self-worth.
Motivation
Motivation is the reason for doing something, the willingness to do that
thing, the ability to stay involved, and staying optimistic. Some factors
involved in staying motivated may include:
The individual should strive to achieve their goals with full
commitment.
The individual must take the initiative to propose solutions and
remain optimistic throughout the process.
The individual should be open to change and learning new things.
Empathy
Empathy means the ability to understand what other people are feeling and
thinking. It not only involves actively listening to the other person but also
understanding their perspective. Empathy includes putting yourself in other
people’s shoes, accepting people as they are, and trying to form an
organization with diversity.
Social skills
Social skills can have multiple characteristics, such as effective
communication, conflict management, and leadership.
All of these components, when processed effectively, can improve a
person’s emotional intelligence.
An individual’s emotional intelligence can be developed over the years and
can be improved through various tips and techniques. Stimulating
emotional intelligence not only helps a person thrive in their own life but
can improve the lives of people around them. A person who can recognize,
understand, and manage their own emotions is more capable of living a
happy, meaningful, and prosperous life.
 FAQs ABOUT DARK PSYCHOLOGY
Q# 1: Why is it called “Dark” Psychology?
The psychologist Michael Nuccitelli (2006) describes Dark Psychology as
“both a human consciousness construct and study of the human condition as
it relates to the psychological nature of people to prey upon others
motivated by psychopathic, deviant or psychopathological criminal drives
that lack purpose and general assumptions of instinctual drives,
evolutionary biology, and social sciences theory. All of humanity has the
potentiality to victimize humans and other living creatures. While many
restrain or sublimate this tendency, some act upon these impulses. Dark
Psychology explores criminal, deviant, and cybercriminal minds.”
In other words, this branch of psychology studies the dark side of how and
why people can misuse psychological tactics to get their way. People’s
intentions can be good or bad, but manipulative tactics are usually unethical
and harmful to society because you abuse and take advantage of someone’s
kindness.
Manipulation can also be conscious or unconscious, meaning that some
people don’t even know that they’re manipulating the people around them.
Q# 2: Can manipulation be used if it’s wrong?
Dark psychological tactics, such as manipulation and coercion, are
considered harmful. After all, nobody likes to be manipulated.
The word “manipulation” has many negative connotations, whether in the
workplace, the home, or other social spheres. It means that people can urge
us to do something against our better judgment. It can support different
types of criminal activity, such as fraud. And it can leave more vulnerable
sections of society, such as the elderly or mentally ill, open to mistreatment.
However, manipulation doesn’t always have to be for the wrong
reasons. Manipulation consists of two types: persuasion and
coercion. Persuasion means trying to convince and motivate someone to do
something they want to do but are hesitant or unsure.
On the other hand, coercion is about making people do things they don’t
want to do. Technically, coercion is wrong, and persuasion is right.
However, this varies from situation to situation; whether something
someone wants to do is right for them or not, or what they don’t want to do
is bad for them.
Over time, people have faced many different problems for which they
needed professional help, now more than ever because of our fast-paced
economic lifestyle.
To address these issues, people talk to therapists or psychologists for help,
and these professionals use effective measures to improve patients’
lives. It’s a form of manipulation, but it’s for the person’s greater good and
mental well-being.
Another way manipulation can be used is to get your friends and family to
do good things that you know are good for society as a whole. An example
would be that you know that your family have a bad habit of using plastic
bottles and packaging and not recycling them.
You know this isn’t sustainable and bad for the environment, and you want
them to stop, but they won’t listen to you. So over time, you slowly start to
manipulate your family into feeling guilty until they’re conditioned to do
the right thing.
Technically this is manipulation. But your intentions are good, as you’re
doing it to get your family to become better people and help save the
environment.
Q# 3: Where’s the Dark Psychology tactic of coercion practically used?
In an ideal world, you ask someone to do something for you, and they’ll do
it. But life isn’t perfect, and it doesn’t always work that way. People daily
will often use “dark” psychological tactics to convince people to get things
done. Certain professions also use these methods.
One of these fields is sales and marketing. Many vendors are so focused on
ensuring that the customer buys something that they often use dark
manipulation tactics to motivate and convince them to buy their company’s
product.
Likewise, marketing companies use this tactic of persuasion to attract
people to buy their products. While arguable, some famous economists and
philosophers have shown their great disdain for marketing and classified it
as highly unethical. They believe that marketing convinces desperate people
to buy things they don’t need to survive, and therefore promotes
unnecessary consumerism, and, in some cases, leads people into debt. This
is an interesting debate that can be saved for another time.
The tactics of Dark Psychology are also used by the police to solve cases
and catch criminals, to ensure peace, safety, security, and prosperity within
their jurisdictions. They use such strategies to extract information from
witnesses and friends and families of their suspects and manipulate their
suspects during interrogation to admit their crimes.
Moreover, these police officers and investigative officers are fully trained to
read people’s behavior and body language, which allows them to get
answers without the suspect saying anything at all.
Q # 4: How does analyzing people’s behavior and reading body
language relate to Dark Psychology?
One of the essential parts of convincing and manipulating in Dark
Psychology tactics is understanding the person you want to manage by
analyzing their behavior. In other words, you should be able to read their
body language.
Studies show that about 20% of communication between people is through
spoken words. So, what about the remaining 80%? That’s all body language
and nonverbal cues.
What is body language? It’s the nonverbal signals other people display,
enabling you to “read them like an open book.” Wikipedia defines body
language as a “type of nonverbal communication in which physical
behaviors, as opposed to words, are used to express or convey the
information. Such behaviors include facial expressions, body posture,
gestures, eye movement, touch, and the use of space.”
It’s safe to say that most people aren’t aware of their body language most of
the time. Without realizing it, everyone on this planet is sending out
signals.
Suppose you can learn to tune into those signals’ frequency and pay
attention to the small details that emerge. In that case, you’ll not only
understand the other person and their behavior but also be able to
manipulate them—if you want. If you learn how to analyze a person’s
signals, you’ll be able to see not only what most (including that person)
can’t see but also understand what they think precisely. You’ll be able to
read and even change thoughts if you want. That’s how people use Dark
Psychology.
Now the question is, how do you read behavior, people, and even
ideas? I’ve already said that you have to tap into a specific frequency; in
other words, carefully observe their movements and attitudes, and, as some
psychologists put it, “read” them, but how does it all come together?
Well, it’s already been proven that the mind and the body are each other’s
mirrors and are directly connected. Whatever someone thinks or feels, their
body will somehow transmit it. You need to connect your intuition to your
intellectual capabilities, i.e., your understanding.
When interviewed, an FBI agent said that one doesn’t have to be an
excellent interrogator to determine what goes on in someone’s head. She
even shared her nine main secrets of reading people:
1. Discover the baseline personality;
2. Look for deviations from that baseline;
3. Pay attention to clusters of behavioral abnormalities;
4. Compare the variances from the baseline;
5. Understand whether or not actions are answered;
6. Identify the loud voice;
7. Observe people’s walk;
8. Recognize the type of words they use to describe actions; and
9. Understand their personality traits.

Now let’s look at this in detail. Every day, there are times when people
exhibit random, strange behavior. When these behaviors come to light, you
realize that “Yes, there’s something wrong here,” but you don’t know
exactly what or why.
The realization is your intuition telling you that something strange is going
on, the “gut feeling” you have now and then. Understanding comes into
play when you want to know what your intuition is telling you and why.
Let’s look at an example.
A boy sneaks out of the house one night to go to a party with some of his
friends.
The next morning, his mother asks him why he hadn’t slept. She’d heard a
little commotion coming from his room when she’d got up to go to the
bathroom. At about that time, the boy had sneaked back into the house after
the party. Of course, he couldn’t tell his mother that. So he said to her that
he was studying all night for a test. As he told this lie, the boy scratched his
head.
At first glance, this behavior could merely indicate that he’d got a sudden
itch. But, depending on the context, it can also be a sign of dishonesty or
deception. With these little gestures, parents can skillfully figure out when
their kids are lying to them.
They know your usual “baseline” behavior. Baseline behavior is the one
that’s constant and is your own standard. It makes it easier to spot small
changes in how you act or respond when someone else knows your baseline
behavior.
So if you ever deviate from your baseline behavior, their intuition tells them
something is wrong, and it makes them realize you’re lying.
This doesn’t only apply to deception; it applies to other scenarios, too. For
example, a boy often sniffs with his nose when nervous. At first glance, it
seems like the boy’s got a cold or runny nose, but the truth is that this little
gesture that most people would ignore means the boy is nervous. One way
to read body language is to continually observe someone until you find out
how they behave under different conditions.
Another way to understand a person is through voice. When you meet a
group of people, pay attention to the one with a strong, firm voice. This
person is most likely to be the most influential. Theirs is most probably a
self-assured personality.
It’s essential to make a distinction between an influential voice and a
“booming” one. Just because someone is loud doesn’t mean they’re the
leader of the group. The leader may have a soft voice, but he would be
assured, direct, and inspire confidence. A person’s voice largely determines
their personality and whether or not they’re easy to manipulate.
Someone with a strong voice is likely to have a dynamic, sturdy, confident
personality or character. Someone who speaks more softly, more quietly, or
hesitantly may be more meek and passive.
As we can see, to understand someone through their body language means
focusing on more than one aspect. Another thing to look at is the way
someone moves.
Every person moves differently, and that style reflects more than one
realizes. Of course, there may be exceptions, but in most cases, a person’s
level of confidence, attitude, and character can be revealed in this way.
A steady, purposeful walking style, where a person looks like they need to
be somewhere important, suggests a strong character. People with more
timid personalities will tend to pause or take slow, aimless steps. Or
someone may charge forward, making extra-long and quick steps, making
them seem rushed and hurried, suggesting an anxious
mind.
Although not really body language, in that it’s part of verbal
communication, the words someone uses when they speak reveal their
character, values, beliefs, etc. If you listen carefully, you can identify which
words “let slip” little bits about their personality. Over time, you can also
understand which words you can use to get that person to do what you
want.
Confident words demonstrate a confident personality, and the opposite
would be the case if the person made statements like, “I think,” “I guess
so,” or “I don’t know.”
With these words, it seems the person isn’t in control of their life and is
always spinning instead of just being concise and straightforward. Such
people are more prone to falling victim to dark psychological tactics simply
because they let things happen to them rather than taking control.
Another example: a regional manager who says at a meeting, ”I decided to
get things done.” The word “decided” shows that she hasn’t only made a
decision but has also thought a lot about it and knows how to take the
situation into her own hands.
Likewise, the way a person behaves also depends on what their birth order
is. There are four categories: oldest, youngest, middle, and only child.
The oldest child tends to form jealous rivalry when they start to lose their
parents ’ attention because of their younger sibling. It ultimately could lead
to a jealous and insecure character. The youngest competes for attention
with the oldest and always wants to get his way.
The youngest child’s personality is usually that of a risk taker because they
feel they can do what they want. The middle child often becomes very
arrogant. They get the least attention at home, so they take it out in other
ways.
An only child is more sensitive to criticism, and they tend to develop
attention-seeking habits. By knowing a person’s birth order, you can easily
bypass their specific personality traits to get what you want.
Tuning in to the frequency of body language and basic human psychology
will tell you so much about a person—more than they even realize. Because
even they’ve no idea why they behave in a certain way. To accurately use
dark psychological methods, it’s essential to understand people’s
behavior.
 CONCLUSION
In general, it’s essential to remember how easy it is to fall under the
influence of dark psychological tactics and perhaps even use such tactics to
get what we want.
It’s crucial to know and recognize the art of manipulation and persuasion to
ensure that no one uses it on you. It’s also vital to understand it, so you
don’t use it on other people. You should be able to know when to stop if
you find yourself employing its tactics.
Even if you want to manipulate someone for a good cause, you should
avoid it because it means you’re misleading them and violating their
confidence. If you think your position is correct and should be followed, try
to convince the other person honestly how to change certain aspects of their
behavior. They shouldn’t just be led to blindly accept what you say.
Women, in particular, quickly fall victim to the tactics of Dark Psychology.
Therefore, they need to be well aware of their environment, what’s going on
around them, and what the men are saying and doing in their lives. They
need to understand baseline behavior and how and when it’s being deviated
from.
Dark psychology is a vast and informative field because it focuses on
humanity’s negativities and wrong side, which not many other areas do. It
helps us understand why men and women manipulate their friends, family,
colleagues, and others. However, as mentioned earlier, one should never use
such tactics, even if the intention is correct.
The only time such methods are considered ethical is when there’s a “win-
win” situation for both parties. For this, you need to be honest with yourself
in analyzing the case and believe that what you’re doing is also beneficial to
the other person. If it’s only for your benefit, you can fall into and become
addicted to doing wrong and unethical practices quite quickly.
 THANK YOU!

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MORE BOOKS BY KATE DAVIS
The next book in the series is

Book 1 – Emotional Intelligence

Book 2 – How To Analyze People
Book 3 – Anger Management
Book 4 – Understanding and Using Mental Models
Book 5 Emotional Intelligence 2.0
 ABOUT KATE DAVIS
Born and raised in Los Angeles, Kate Davis has been fascinated by
hypnosis and mind control since her early childhood.
This interest has led her down the path of studying many factors
affecting human interactions.
She's a prolific writer, NLP Practitioner, and hypnotist. In her books, she
aims to reveal all the secrets behind hypnosis, influencing people, and
manipulating the unconscious.
Kate continually works on expanding her knowledge by attending
seminars and networking with other professionals.
When she is not busy researching or writing self-development eBooks,
you will find her enjoying the outdoors, strolling on the beaches of
Santa Monica.