Study Guide

for
The Freedom Fight
Online Program

A practical guide to finding freedom to be

used with The Freedom Fight online program

Ted Shimer
The Freedom Fight was founded by Ted Shimer, who
graduated with a Master of Biblical Studies (MABS) from
Dallas Theological Seminary. Ted was trained as a Certified
Sex Addiction Therapist and is a Pastoral Sex Addiction
Professional (PSAP). His training was through IITAP, the
organization of world-renowned sex addiction authority Dr.
Patrick Carnes.
Ted has mentored college students professionally since 1991
with the collegiate Christian ministry Student Mobilization.
Helping young men overcome the bondage of pornography
has been a part of his mentoring from the beginning. But
it was the epidemic level of porn addiction on the college
campus, combined with the lack of effective, affordable,
and biblically based recovery options, that gave birth to the
Freedom Fight. Through the collective experience of Ted and
his team, the principles of recovery that work have become
obvious. They are passionate about helping others understand
and apply these principles so they can find freedom.

© by The Freedom Fight 2023

All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form without
written permission from The Freedom Fight, PO Box 567, Conway, AR 72033.
Unless otherwise noted, Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New
International Version, Copyright ©1984, 2011. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Other versions used include the Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright ©2001.
Used by permission; New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977,
1995, 2020 by The Lockman Foundation. All rights reserved; NET Bible® copyright
©1996-2017 by Biblical Studies Press, L.L.C. http://netbible.com All rights reserved;
and Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House
Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois
60188. All rights reserved.
 ORIENTATION: READ FIRST!

INTRODUCTION: The Freedom Fight Study Guide is designed to be

used in conjunction with the Freedom Fight online program found at
thefreedomfight.org or on the Freedom Fight App that you can find
in the App Store or Google Play. Once you download the program,
watch the Getting Started video to understand how the program
works. When you watch the FF videos, this Study Guide is where
you take notes for each lesson.

SINGLE OR MARRIED: When you sign up for the Freedom Fight

program, you indicate whether you are single or married so we can
get you to the right program. The programs are identical except the
married men have six additional videos to help them navigate the
disclosure process and other issues with their spouse. The married
videos are located in the 4th module labeled “Married Men”.

INDIVIDUAL OR SMALL GROUP: You can go through the FF program

and this Study Guide individually or in a small group.

CORE APPLICATIONS AND CORE PRACTICES: Knowledge is never

enough for life change, which is why we highlight core applications
and core practices as they are introduced in a given lesson. At the
end of certain lessons we will highlight the core applications and/
or core practices that you should apply and practice. This is where
freedom and life change will happen. At the end of each section
in the manual, we will list all of the core applications and core
practices that have been presented up to that point so you can make
sure you are doing them. Those who experience the most freedom
are the ones who put into practice what they learn.

FOR LEADERS: If you haven’t already, read the entire leader’s guide
on the App or Website to prepare you for being a good leader and
facilitator of your group. Keep in mind that it’s best, though not
necessary, if the entire program is absorbed and processed through
small groups. In the leader’s guide you will also find the first
meeting laid out for you play by play, which you will find incredibly
beneficial.

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 COMMITMENTS EVERY GROUP MEMBER MUST MAKE

ATTENDANCE AND PREPARATION: Being committed to attend and

prepare each week will not only help each individual member get
the most out of the group, but it raises the quality of the group as a
whole. Each week the leader should assign the next week’s lessons
following the leader guide video schedule. Each group member
should watch each lesson and fill out the study guide before the
group meets the following week. This is a critical step and group
members who are not consistently doing the work will see limited
growth.

NOTE: The small group resources on the App or Website give you
everything you need to lead an effective small group.

CONFIDENTIALITY: Everything that is shared in the group should

stay in the group. The group needs to be a safe place so each
person feels the freedom to share anything. So, your commitment to
confidentiality is a MUST.

Commitment to ConFIdentiality
Many groups find it helpful to have each member sign the
commitment to confidentiality. Every effort will be made by the group
leader and its members to ensure confidentiality.
Group Leader Name: ________________ Signature: ______________

Group Members’ Signatures:

Signature__________________________________ Date: __________

Signature__________________________________ Date: __________

Signature__________________________________ Date: __________

Signature__________________________________ Date: __________

Signature__________________________________ Date: __________

Signature__________________________________ Date: __________

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 Weekly Meeting

SUGGESTED GROUP FORMAT:

• Weekly Check-in (45 minutes)

- Located in the app and web program
• Discussion of the videos/content (40 minutes)
-D iscussion questions in the Leader’s Guide or in the
appendix
• Commitment to change (5 minutes)

It is difficult to have a good group that meets for less than one and
a half hours unless you shrink the discussion of content to less
than two to three videos, or everyone watches and prepares for the
lessons on their own. The ideal size of a group is four to six people.

The questions below should be answered before every group

meeting, which begins with each member taking six to eight
minutes to answer the questions. If you relapsed, then you will walk
through the Crash Report instead of doing your weekly check-in. We
recommend downloading our App “The Freedom Fight” to complete
your daily and weekly check-ins.

1. W
 hat was the lowest level I reached on the FASTER Scale this
week, and what behavior in that level most resonated with me?
A. How does this behavior affect me? (How do I act and feel?)
B. How does this behavior affect the important people in my
life?
C. What was the Double Bind that was driving me down the
scale?
D. What did I do, or do I need to do, to return to restoration
(resolve Double Bind, etc.)?
2. W
 hat was my Commitment to Change last week? Did I follow
through with it?

3. H
 ow many check-ins did I make?

4. Did I complete the assigned content?

5. Did I lie to anyone directly or indirectly this week?

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 COMMITMENT TO CHANGE

At the conclusion of each group time, each person takes a few

minutes to write down their answers to the following questions and
then they each share their plans to change in the upcoming week. It
should be specific and measurable.

1. In what areas do I need to change?

2. W
 hat challenge do I need to face in the upcoming week
(productivity vs. procrastination, reaching out vs. isolation, facing
the pain vs. ignoring it, doing the hard things vs. taking the easy
way out)?

3. W
 hat will I do specifically (i.e., practice BRACE three times every
day, check in every day, memorize Romans 8:1)?

5
 TABLE OF CONTENTS

Getting Started . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 10

INTRO TO THE FIGHT

Get In the Fight . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12
The Opposite of Addiction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14
The FASTER Scale . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16
Small Group Blueprint . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18
Binge/Purge . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 20
A Holistic Approach . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22

DETOX, ACCOUNTABILITY, and DEFEATING TEMPTATION

Time to Get Real . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 26
Detox . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28
The Addicted Brain . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 30
BRACE for the Battle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32
Manifestations of the FASTER . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 34
The Double Bind . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 36
Just Do It! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38

SURVIVNG A RELAPSE
Relapse and Reality . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42
Surviving a Crash . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44
Better Together . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46
The Anatomy of Relapse . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48

MARRIED MEN
Disclosure . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 52
Understanding Her . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 54
Forgiveness and Building Trust . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56
A Safety Plan and Boundaries . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58
Sex and True Intimacy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 60

UNDERSTANDING THE ADDICTION CYCLE AND ITS DRIVERS

Zones of Recovery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 64
Zones of Recovery Activities and Practices . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 66
The Addiction Cycle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 68
What Are Your Routines? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 70
Drivers of the Addiction Cycle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 72
The Great Exchange . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 74

7
 THE BRAIN SCIENCE OF PORN ADDICTION
The Brain’s Reward System . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 78
The Pharmacy in Your Head . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 80
The Making of the Addicted Brain . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 82
Conditioning the Arousal Template . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 84
Extreme Conditioning . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 86
The Game Changers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 88
The Iceberg of Addiction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 90
Rats and Dopamine . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 92
Young Mind, Perfect Storm . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 94
Renewing the Mind . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96

CONFRONTING LIES and TRIGGERS

Pay It Forward . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 100
The Book . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 102
To Steal, Kill, and Destroy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 104
Quench Your Thirst . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 106
Trigger-Happy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 108

PROCESS YOUR EMOTIONS INSTEAD OF MEDICATING THEM

Don’t Get BLASSTED . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 112
Facing BLASSTED Emotions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 114
Casting Your Cares . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 116
Those Most Likely to Relapse . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 118
Thirty Reasons for Pursuing Recovery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 120

WINNING THE SHAME and IDENTITY BATTLE

Shame . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 124
The Making of a Shame Identity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 126
True Identity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 128
Bo Knows . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 130
Living a New Identity . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 132
Win the Battle of the Mind . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 134

FACING TRAUMATIC PAIN, EXCUSES, and THE BRUTAL FACTS

Face the Pain . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 140
Process the Pain . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 142
Ten Worst Moments Exercise . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 144
The Stockdale Paradox . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 150
In the Zone . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 152

SUPERNATURAL POWER TO WALK IN FREEDOM

Freedom: Once for All . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 158
Faith and the Promises of God . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 160
The Helper . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 162

8
The Spirit-Filled Life . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 164
A Vision for Recovery . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 166

Appendixes
Small Group Discussion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 172
FASTER Scale with the Experts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 193
Purity Verses to Memorize . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 197
Who I Am in Christ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 201

9
 GETTING STARTED

1. Use the __________ Guide.

• The goal isn’t to get through the videos but to

______________life change.
• Remember, it is the ___________ that will set you free.

2. Be _____________________ to the core applications and core

practices.
3. __________ yourself.

4. Stay accountable and __________________ to those who can

help.

• Your ________________ will keep you connected.

Designate which zone you are in.

• ________________ zone: you have avoided triggers and are

doing the majority of the core practices that move you toward
recovery.

• ______________ zone: you haven’t been doing the majority of

the core practices or you did one of your triggering activities.

• ______________ zone: you engage in the unwanted sexual

behavior.

• The ______________________ button alerts your accountability

when you need help immediately.

5. ___________________ your progress.

• Our survey found that if someone finished the program and

was ___________________to our three core habits, 86 percent
of them found freedom.

10
INTRO TO THE FIGHT

11
 GET IN THE FIGHT

• The first step toward freedom is always asking for

___________________.

• By repeatedly going from sexual arousal to climax while

watching porn, you are ______________________ your mind to
be sexually excited by certain things.

• Porn is ______________ a generation of people of their

personhood and training them to prefer images on a computer
and masturbation rather than sex the way God created it.

• One lie that porn addicts tell themselves is that

__________________ will fix their problem.

• ___________ of divorces in the last several years mention porn

use by one of the spouses as a major contributing factor.

• Of the more than one million divorces each year,

______________ are caused, in part, by pornography.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

12
 Biblical Insight

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they
may have life and have it abundantly.”
—John 10:10 (esv)

1. What does this verse say that the thief (Satan) wants to do?

2. What are some of the ways that pornography or other unwanted

sexual behavior is accomplishing this?

3. What is the kind of life that Jesus wants to give you?

4. The word abundant means “more than necessary; extraordinary.”

How should this verse give us hope about overcoming porn or
other unwanted sexual behaviors?

5. How do you think this promise for abundance applies to a

person’s sex life?

13
 THE OPPOSITE OF ADDICTION

• Porn use and other unwanted sexual behaviors can

_______________ a person’s growth and rob them from living a
full and satisfying life.

• The opposite of _____________________ isn’t sobriety; it’s

__________________ (Rat Park).

• Sex addiction is classified as an _________________ disorder.

• The two most important factors that help people find freedom in
sexual recovery:

#1 Factor: __________________ on God

#2 Factor: __________________ ___________________

BOTTOM LINE You need _____________ + ________________.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

14
 Biblical Insight

“Beloved, I urge you as foreigners and strangers to abstain from

fleshly lusts, which wage war against the soul.”
—1 Peter 2:11 (nasb)

1. What does Peter command his audience in this verse?

2. The word abstain means “to remove completely or to hold off.”

What is the reason Peter gives his audience for abstaining from
fleshly lusts?

3. The word Peter uses for wage war is “strateuo,” the Greek word
used to explain strategic warfare. With this understanding, what
do you think it means that these desires war against our souls?

4. Why do you think it would be important to abstain from these

as a result?

5. What are the fleshly lusts you are hoping to abstain from as a
result of this program?

15
 THE FASTER SCALE
(Adapted from the Genesis Process by Michael Dye)

• The FASTER Scale helps you understand how you move from
_____________________ —> ______________________.

• Relapse = ____________________ NOT an Event

• Restoration is a place of emotional healing, lifestyle balance, and

___________________________.

Moving down the FASTER Scale

1. The first step away from restoration is

________________________.

2. Forgetting priorities will lead to _____________________.

3. Anxiety leads to _____________________.

4. Speeding up leads to _______________________.

5. Ticked off leads to _______________________.

6. Exhausted leads to _______________________.

• Focus on using the FASTER Scale to identify _______________ in

your life that move you from restoration to relapse.

3 Keys to getting the most out of the FASTER Scale:

1. ________________________

2. ________________________

3. ________________________

16
 Biblical Insight

Read Proverbs 7.

1. What do vv. 4–5 say wisdom will keep you from?

2. What was it that someone observed from their house as they

looked out the window?

3. What did he do in vv. 8–9 to show a lack of judgment?

4. In your own words, what happens to this guy in the rest of this
passage?

5. How do vv. 26–27 describe what happens to the men who end up
in “her” house?

6. How do you think the FASTER Scale can protect a person from
being vulnerable to “her” path?

CORE PRACTICES
1. Use the FASTER Scale daily.

17
 SMALL GROUP BLUEPRINT

• A recovery group is geared to challenge its members to commit

to specific ________________ each week.

Key Characteristics of the Most Effective Recovery Groups

1. ______________________

• Commitment to ____________________ —> Anything shared

in the group will stay in the group

2. __________________________

3. Mutual _______________________

4. __________________________

• When you are __________________ to the group, it will lift the

quality of the group for all involved.

5. _________________________

6. Effective ___________________

Consists of:
—> Check-Ins (Responses to the FASTER Scale)
—> Discussion of Content (Discuss the Freedom Fight videos)
—> Application Time (Share your commitment to change)

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

18
 Biblical Insight

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love
and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the
habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as
you see the Day approaching.”
—Hebrews 10:24–25

1. What does the author tell us to consider?

2. What do you think of when you think of a spur?

3. So what do you think it means to spur someone on toward

good deeds?

4. What commitment is the author wanting his audience to make

in v. 25?

5. Why do you think these two components are essential in

overcoming unwanted sexual behavior?

6. How can you be an encouragement to the people in your group?

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 BINGE/PURGE

• The first step away from the Binge/Purge cycle is to realize

this isn’t just a __________ problem, but it’s also a _________
problem.

• When a person regularly uses porn, they build a strong

_____________ pathway so that their brain can go down that
path almost automatically.

• The chemicals released during porn use ______________

the neurological pathways in your brain and make them even
stronger.

• When someone climaxes with porn or another person, his brain

releases natural opiates. The brain is flooded with these natural
chemicals that are _______________ as strong as morphine.

• In order to change, the old pathways need to be ___________

with new ones.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

20
 Biblical Insight

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by

the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve
what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
—Romans 12:2

Ted said that in order to find change, our brains are literally going to
have to be reprogrammed. The Bible actually speaks to this idea.

1. What are the two commands made in this one verse?

2. How would you define these words? (The Blue Letter Bible App
can give you the definition in the original language for deeper
insights.)

Conform—

Transformed—

Renewing—

3. How does change take place according to the first part

of Romans 12:2?

4. How do you think God intends for us to renew our minds?

21
 A HOLISTIC APPROACH

• The goal of Freedom Fight isn’t just to stop unwanted sexual

behavior, but it’s to bring a full and lasting ____________.

• Just as ______________ is about a lot more than alcohol, so sex

addiction is about a lot more than just _________.

• Sex addiction isn’t mostly about sex as much as it’s about how
you _____________ the pain and discomforts of life.

• You have learned to _______________ pain and discomfort

through the sexual high of acting out.

• You need ____________________ help to overcome your

addiction.

• Your own best thinking got you into this addiction, and God’s
_______________ will help get you out.

• Your addiction thrives in ________________, but it loses its

power when you come into the light of community.

• You will need to _________________ your addiction with

_______________ in order to find freedom.

• If you fully apply yourself to this program, you will become more:

______________ aware

______________ minded

______________ connected

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

22
 Biblical Insight

“For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful
nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it
out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want
to do—this I keep on doing. . . . So I find this law at work: Although
I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being
I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging
war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the
law of sin at work within me.”
—Romans 7:18–19, 21–23

1. What challenge does the author find himself in?

2. How can you relate to this in terms of your sexual behavior?

3. Paul said that this other law is “waging war” against his mind
and making him a prisoner of sin. Why do you think a holistic
approach to breaking free from sexual addiction is essential in
light of this reality?

23
24
 DETOX,
ACCOUNTABILITY,
AND DEFEATING
TEMPTATION

25
 TIME TO GET REAL

• The desire to hide the truth must be ______________ in order

to find freedom.

Four Stages of Dependency

Stage #1: _____________________

“You get into the unwanted sexual behavior because of
_____________.”

Stage #2: Excitement and _____________________

“You enjoy it and seek it regularly for pleasure.”

Stage #3: Self-_____________________

“The chemicals released in the brain during porn use mimic the
chemicals released in the brain during drug use.”

Stage #4: _____________________

“Sexual outlets begin to dominate your brain and life.”

• Chemical Dependency = You try to stop but _________________.

4 reasons that telling the truth to others is key to your sobriety

1. You can be _________________ for who you truly are.

2. Telling the ____________ allows you to face the core issues.

3. Accountability is _____________ for you to break free, and you

can’t have effective accountability without _____________ and
honesty.

4. You can’t have ________________ without this step.

• The desire to hide and _______________ your condition will only

sabotage your recovery.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

26
 Biblical Insight

Read Proverbs 28:13.

1. What is the negative promise the author makes in this verse?

2. The word prosper means “make progress.” How do you think

that relates with our sexual sin?

3. What is the opposite of concealing your sin according to this

verse, and what are the results?

4. Finding mercy means “finding tender affection.” Why is that

important to you as you begin getting real about your sin?

Read James 5:16.

1. What are the commands in this verse?

2. What is the reason for these commands?

3. In what ways do you think you need sexual healing?

CORE APPLICATIONS
Take the SAST test (Website/App).
Ask one person to be your accountability partner.

27
 DETOX

• Porn has ______________ your brain to respond to abnormally

high levels of dopamine.

• Sex addiction is a sin to _____________ from as well as a

chemical condition to be treated.

• The first step in treatment is ________________ by stopping the

unwanted sexual behavior.

• Many sex addiction therapists suggest making a goal of going

______ days without sexually acting out.

• The first priority in any addiction recovery is to ______________

the behavior.

7 Essential Steps for a Successful Detox

1. ________________ computers and smartphones.

2. Eliminate all pornography ___________________.

3. Give your accountability partners specific _____________ to ask

you.

4. Avoid certain people and situations that may ______________

you.

5. ________________ your eyes.

6. _____________ as Jesus taught us: lead me not into temptation.

7. If you ______________, confess to your accountability partners.

• Focus on one day at a time and ____________ your progress.

• The length of time for the brain to normalize is typically

_________ weeks, but could be longer.

28
 Biblical Insight

Read Matthew 5:29–30.

1. What two radical steps does Jesus suggest in order to protect

yourself from sin?

2. Jesus sometimes used hyperbole or overstatement to make

a point. What do you think Jesus is really communicating by
these statements?

3. What do you think God wants you to do in terms of being radical

to protect yourself sexually for the next ninety days?

CORE APPLICATIONS
Commit to detox.
Lock up all your devices to prevent access
(phone, computer).

CORE PRACTICES
1. Check in regularly with accountability.
2. Be completely honest with your group.
4.

29
 THE ADDICTED BRAIN

2 Significant Parts of your brain in sex addiction

Prefrontal Cortex and the Limbic system

• The prefrontal cortex is responsible for ________________

functions.

- Logical Reasoning - Impulse Control

- Moral Judgment - Goals
- Determine Between Good and Bad

• This part of your brain isn’t fully developed until you are
_________.

• The limbic system is known as the _______________ brain.

- Pleasure Center
- Overpowers the Prefrontal Cortex

• The limbic system begins to treat porn and other unwanted

sexual behavior as a _______________ issue and overpowers
the prefrontal cortex every time.

• _______________ actually impairs the ability of the prefrontal

cortex to operate effectively, while at the same time, DOPAMINE
______________ the limbic system to move toward the sexual
high of acting out.

• The negative impact of porn on the brain is a result of

____________ what we have sown.

• Part of renewing the mind is ______________ your prefrontal

cortex to ________________ when you face sexual triggers.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

30
 Biblical Insight

Read 1 Corinthians 6:18.

1. What does Paul command the church in Corinth?

2. What does he say is unique about sexual sin from all other sins?

3. Knowing what you learned about the brain in this lesson, what is
one way we sin against our own body?

4. How does this make sexual sin so destructive to our lives?

31
 BRACE FOR THE BATTLE

• Navy SEALs are trained in something called ____________

breathing.

• This breathing technique helps them think more clearly because

the prefrontal cortex gets more _____________ and therefore
operates more effectively.

Steps to Practicing B.R.A.C.E.

Breathe ____________.

• _____________ through your nose steadily for 4 seconds. Then

you _____________ slowly and steadily through your mouth for
4 seconds.

Remember the ______________.

• Create immediate short-term ______________.

• _________________ Bible verses to meditate on can help us

remember truth about God, His promises and our identity in
Christ.

A_____ God for help.

C_______

• Making the _________ often makes the difference of whether you

act out or not.

E_________ the situation.

• Fleeing the temptation means leaving ______________ or at

least removing the temptation.

• Escape to ______________ outlets, like hanging out with friends,

working out, walking, or reading.

• Repetition got you into this addiction, and _______________ will

help get you out.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

32
 Biblical Insight

Read Hebrews 12:3–4.

1. How does the author of Hebrews describe his audience in v. 4

in regard to their fight against sin?

2. According to v. 3, what is the author of Hebrews concerned about

for his audience?

3. Growing weary is the Greek word “kamno,” which means “to tire
of toil.” What are some ways that you are prone to become tired
of toiling for your own sexual purity?

4. How does this verse challenge us to be disciplined in practicing

something like BRACE?

CORE APPLICATIONS
Pick verses from the list, see page 197, to use when
practicing BRACE.

CORE PRACTICES
1. Practice BRACE when tempted.
2. Practice BRACE even without temptation.
5.

33
 MANIFESTATIONS OF THE FASTER
(Adapted from the Genesis Process by Michael Dye)

• Sliding down the FASTER Scale is like a boulder going down a

hill: the more momentum it gains, the __________ it is to stop.

• Making your Core Practices a lifestyle keeps you in

____________.

• When someone is sliding down the scale, it often manifests itself

as an out of _____________ lifestyle.

• “Craziness first manifests itself as __________ in routine, simple

behaviors that support self-maintenance.” —Dr. Patrick Carnes

Craziness of lifestyle can either be a ____________

of sliding down the FASTER Scale

OR

An indication that you are sliding down for other reasons.

• Sliding down the scale can also be a measure of trusting

__________ instead of trusting God to deal with the challenges
of life.

• Turning to God, His Word, and His people instead of old coping
______________ is a practical way to trust God instead of
ourselves.

• The FASTER Scale can show you where you need to trust God’s
Word instead of your _______________.

• When we make God our ___________ to process life with,

Freedom is Near.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

34
 Biblical Insight

“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious
thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the
way everlasting.”
—Psalm 139:23–24

1. What does King David ask God to do in this verse?

2. How does the warrior King David trust God with his emotions
instead of himself?

3. How do you think this passage could apply to you as you process
negative emotions that may be contributing to your sexual
behavior?

35
 THE DOUBLE BIND
(Adapted from the Genesis Process by Michael Dye)

• In order to stop the slide, you must ____________ what is

causing it so you can address the issue and return to restoration.

• People typically get on the FASTER Scale because of a negative

_________________ pain.

The Double Bind is an unresolved internal conflict that makes

you feel ___________ between a rock and a hard place.

Common Double Binds

• Will I procrastinate or take care of business?

• Will I choose to reach out for help or isolate?

• Will I choose to avoid pain or face it?

• A Double Bind must be identified and _____________ to return

to restoration.

• The right decision is often the more ______________ one in the

short term that you want to avoid.

• _______________ Double Binds are what most commonly drive

people down the scale toward relapse.

• _______________ the Double Bind enables you to step up and do

the right thing.

• One of the most common Double Binds is whether or not you will
____________ someone in your recovery group for help.

• The way to get off the FASTER Scale and return to restoration is
to ___________ the Double Bind.

“The Double Bind is typically ____________ to our deepest fears and

lies we believe about life, ourselves, and God,” —Dr. Ted Roberts

36
 Biblical Insight

“You desire truth in the innermost being, and in secret You will make
wisdom known to me.”
—Psalm 51:6 (nasb)

1. What does this verse say God desires in our life?

2. The word for innermost being is “tuwchah,” which implies our

innermost thoughts. How would you paraphrase the first part of
this verse knowing that?

3. Where and what does God want this psalmist to know?

4. How do you think this applies to identifying the Double Binds

in our lives?

37
 JUST DO IT!

• Life change won’t happen if you don’t ______________ the

principles that we are giving you.

• The objective is not to get through the ________________ but for

the material to get through you.

• The Way to Freedom is through application and

________________.

• Practice is where _________________ takes place.

• Putting these principles into ___________________ is where

your freedom will be won.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

38
 Biblical Insight

Read 1 Timothy 4:7–8.

1. What contrasting statement is made in v. 7?

2. The Greek word for train is “gymnazo,” which means “to exercise
vigorously.” In your own words, how would you rephrase this
verse?

3. What is the reason Paul gives Timothy for such ”gymnazo”

training in v. 8?

4. According to this passage, why do you think it’s important for you
to implement the Core Applications and Practices in your battle
against sexual sin?

39
 EVALUATE YOUR CORE APPLICATIONS AND PRACTICES
CORE APPLICATIONS
Take the SAST.
Ask at least one person to hold you accountable.
Commit to detox.
Lock up your devices to prevent access to porn as much as
possible.
Pick verses from the list to use when practicing BRACE.

CORE PRACTICES
1. Use the FASTER Scale daily.
2. Regularly check in with your accountability.
3. Be completely honest with your accountability.
4. Practice BRACE when tempted.
5. Practice BRACE even without temptation.

40
SURVIVING A RELAPSE

41
 RELAPSE AND REALITY

• A ________________ is the unwanted sexual behavior.

• Our response to relapse must be _____________ and not
just regret.
• Living in ___________ = Complete Honesty ≠ Deny
Minimize
Rationalize
• When the ____________ is living in Reality on the way to
freedom, you see an immediate and complete confession after a
relapse as a big win.
Dr. Mark Laaser refers to a relapse as a SLIP.

Short Lapse In P___________

“It remains a short lapse only if the person learns from it,
repents, and grows in understanding as a result.”

5 Critical Responses to a Relapse

1. Confess to __________ and turn from your sin.

2. Confess to your __________________.

• “You are only as sick as your _______________”.

• Living in Reality has to be a bigger goal than being ___________.

3. Receive God’s ____________ and move forward.

• By faith we must ______________ that we are forgiven even

though we sometimes won’t feel like it.
• Freedom is not a destination but a ________________ of
practicing the right things.
4. Don’t ____________.
“A relapse does not ________________ the healing process, but
it will have consequences.”—Jeremy Wiles

42
5. ____________ from the relapse.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

Biblical Insight

Read 2 Corinthians 7:10.

1. There is a real difference between godly sorrow and worldly

sorrow. How would define these in your own words?

2. How does this verse encourage us to live in Reality?

Read Romans 8:1.

1. What is true for someone who is in Christ Jesus?

2. Ted said, “By faith we must accept that we are forgiven even
though we sometimes won’t feel like it.” What is the difference
between how you feel in the midst of a relapse and what this
verse says?

3. Write your own prayer in the space provided asking God to help
you believe this truth about yourself.

CORE APPLICATIONS
Commit to live in Reality.

43
 SURVIVING A CRASH

• Doing a Crash Analysis is how you can turn a failure into future
_____________________.

• Those who are serious about recovery take the time to walk
through the ____________ analysis.

• Through analyzing the crash, ______________ begin to emerge

that help you determine the contributing factors that you can
address with boundaries or other adjustments.

• The Crash Analysis should be done as soon as possible after a

__________________ so you can remember the details more
clearly.

• Fleeing temptation is held up as the ____________________ that

we are commanded to have.

• Radically cut off the source of temptation, pray we don’t face

temptation, and when we do face it—________________!

• The people who struggle the most are the ones who give
themselves way too much credit in what they can handle. Instead
of fleeing temptation, they ____________ with it.

• The Crash Analysis helps you see where you are

_________________ with temptation instead of fleeing it.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

44
 Biblical Insight

Read Genesis 39:1–12.

1. What had God blessed Joseph with in vv. 1–6?

2. What has God blessed you with?

3. In your own words how was Joseph tempted in vv. 7–12?

4. Ted said, “Radically cut off the source of temptation, pray we

don’t face temptation, and when we do face it—flee!” How does
this phrase embody Joseph’s response to his temptation?

5. What is your most common tempting circumstance?

6. What can you do in order to flee from that temptation from now
on?

CORE PRACTICES
1. F
 ill out a Crash Analysis after a relapse and give
to your accountability.

45
 BETTER TOGETHER

• _______ times the Bible gives specific commands about how we

are to relate to one another.

How Small Groups Multiply Recovery Effectiveness

1. Provides a safe place to be ________________

• Small groups are the best place to get our ___________ out
in the open.

2. Helps defeat _____________

• People are often able to receive God’s love only after that
love and acceptance have been manifested by __________
first.

3. Develops self-_________________

• One of the best ways to understand your own routines and

emotions is hearing ________________ share about theirs.

4. Enables others-__________________

• Part of being others-centered is having a vision beyond you

and your recovery that sees your recovery as an opportunity
to help others in the ________________.

5. Provides _________________

6. Allows you to build meaningful ______________

• We were made for __________________, so less healthy

bonding makes people more prone to a porn or sex
addiction.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

46
 Biblical Insight

“Now flee from youthful lusts and pursue righteousness, faith, love,
and peace with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.”
—2 Timothy 2:22 (nasb)

1. How does the apostle Paul instruct Timothy with his sexual
purity?

2. There are two parts to Paul’s instruction. What are they?

3. After this episode, why do you think that both are necessary in
our battle for purity?

4. Why do you think that this verse commands us to pursue

righteousness, faith, love, and peace “with” others?

47
 THE ANATOMY OF RELAPSE

• Pornography is not your only ______________ mechanism.

When You Are on the FASTER Scale, You Have Two Choices

• An unhealthy choice to _____________ the unwanted pain OR a

healthy choice to confront the pain.

• Every step toward relapse is a ___________ __________ where

you decide if you want to do the easy thing and avoid the pain OR
do the right thing and address the pain.

Key Factors to Using the FASTER Scale

1. Relapse is not out of _______________.

2. Resolving the Double Bind involves ____________ the pain.

3. The ____________ you notice, the better.

• It takes ____________ to use the FASTER Scale but not as much

effort as trying to resist temptation when you are in Exhausted.

4. Keep a pulse on your personal ______________.

5. Get to the ___________ of the Double Bind.

6. BRACE helps you stop the ____________.

7. Know your _______________ emotions.

- Bored - Self-Doubting
- Lonely - Ticked Off
- Anxious - Exhausted
- Stressed - Depressed

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

48
 Biblical Insight

“Teach me, O Lord, the lifestyle prescribed by your statutes, so that

I might observe it continually.”
—Psalm 119:33 (net)

1. What does the author of this psalm ask from the Lord?

2. The word lifestyle in Hebrew is “derek,” which can mean “a

trodden road.” The lifestyle or trodden road that many of us have
traveled has led to what Ted called, “A craziness of lifestyle.”
What does the craziness of lifestyle look like in your life?

3. What are specific ways that God’s Word would put you on a trodden
path that leads to balance and health as opposed to craziness
and relapse?

49
 EVALUATE YOUR CORE APPLICATIONS AND PRACTICES

CORE APPLICATIONS
Take the SAST.
Ask at least one person to hold you accountable.
Commit to detox.
Lock up your devices to prevent access to porn as
much as possible.
Pick verses from the list to use when practicing
BRACE.
Commit to live in Reality.
Have you completed your Core Applications?

CORE PRACTICES
1. Use the FASTER Scale daily.
2. Regularly check in with your accountability.
3. Be completely honest with your accountability.
4. Practice BRACE when tempted.
5. Practice BRACE even without temptation.
6. F
 ill out a Crash Analysis after a relapse and give
to your accountability.
Are you practicing your Core Practices?

50
MARRIED MEN

51
 DISCLOSURE

• Rebuilding your marriage will be a ___________________, but it

will be so worth it.
• Men who have a secret life learn to live in _______________.
• Living in denial will _________________ any attempt you make
to get help.
• Destroying _________________ structures and facing reality
is the first step in a process toward restoring your marriage
battered by pornography or other unwanted sexual behavior.

Three Meetings to Restoring Your Marriage

1. Disclosure Meeting

• A meeting where the husband shares with his wife fully about
his sexually acting out and the ________________ of his
betrayal.
2. Emotional Impact Meeting

• A meeting where the wife expresses the

______________________ impact the husband’s behavior has
had on her.
3. Resolution Meeting

• A meeting where the husband acknowledges the pain he has

caused and outlines his _______________ to make restitution
moving forward.
• Until the wife __________________ the impact this has had on
her, she won’t be able to realize what she needs to forgive you
for.
• A shallow process leads to a ________________ forgiveness.
• Restitution is a biblical principle where someone
_______________ what they have stolen or damaged.

52
• A full disclosure can be the ________ of the healing process, but
if done wrong, it can actually thwart healing.

• ________________ disclosure is a nightmare scenario for the

wife and what causes many of them to give up on restoring
their marriage.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

Biblical Insight

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there
remember that your brother or sister has something against you,
leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled
to them; then come and offer your gift.”
—Matthew 5:23–24

1. What command does Jesus give to those who have

offended someone?

2. If your wife knew about your sexual acting out, what would she
have against you?

3. The word reconcile means “to renew friendship or to restore.”

How does this verse apply to what we learned about disclosure?

53
 UNDERSTANDING HER

• Your wife should be honored as God’s daughter. If you don’t honor

her, God says your prayers will be _____________________.

• Understanding the _________________ you have caused your

wife is an important step in the healing process.

Understanding Three Realities

1. Her _______________________ brain

• The betrayal can _________________ the wife’s thinking, and it is
difficult for her to see anything that is not colored by it.

• Viewing porn = A _________________ of your marriage vows.

“Emotionally I could only feel pain and grief to have the

person I once considered to be my protector, my safe
place, and best friend treat me the way he did.”
—Betrayed Wife

• Her interconnected brain means that the significant pain will be

the ___________ she looks through until she feels safe and able
to trust.

2. The different _____________ of pain you inflicted

• The amount of pain inflicted on the wife _______________ as you

move down the pyramid.

• Only when the husband __________________ his wife’s wounds

in this way will he be able to respond adequately.

54
If you don't work to understand your wife’s pain, you will have a:
Shallow _______________
Shallow _______________
Shallow _______________

3. Your _________________ versus her mindset when you confess

and disclose

HIS REALITY VS. HER REALITY

Man of integrity Liar
Feel better, more in love Feel worse, more unloved
Relieved of the burden Bear that burden
Valuing your marriage You don’t value it at all

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

Biblical Insight

Read 1 Peter 3:7.

1. What does Peter command the husbands in his audience?

2. Considerate means “a knowledge that is deeper or enlarged

directed toward something or someone.” What implications does
this command have for you as a husband?

55
 FORGIVENESS AND BUILDING TRUST

• Forgiveness given too _____________ in the process can actually

hinder healing and set the betrayed spouse up for bitterness.
• There is a time to forgive and forget, but doing so
________________ can do more harm than good in the healing
process.
• A wise husband will encourage his wife to ______________ her
pain.
• Once forgiveness happens, then trust must continue to be
____________________.
• Trust is built through honesty, a track record of follow-through,
and ____________________ communication.
• Trust is the _________________________ that you must rebuild
your marriage on.

Five Trust Busters

1. ____________________

• You start thinking your wife should _________________ your

efforts.
2. _______________________

• Being understanding means you know that

_____________________ trust and security will take time.
• Remember this isn’t about you earning more freedom, but it’s
about you building a ________ environment for your wife, which
takes time.
3. Lack of ___________________

• When a man is only half-heartedly __________________ to his

recovery and rebuilding his marriage, he forces his wife to have
to take protective action.

56
• Your commitment to recovery and restoring trust speaks
____________________ to your wife.
4. White ___________________ your recovery

• Breaking free from sexual bondage and restoring your marriage

will likely be the most _________________ thing that you have
ever done.
• It will be much easier for your wife to trust
_____________________ in you instead of just you.
5. A lack of _____________________

• _________________ is relational suicide while open dialogue

about your recovery builds trust.
• Opening up and letting your wife into your life will do
______________ for your recovery, restoring your marriage and
your wife’s recovery.
• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

Biblical Insight
“Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, but he who makes his
ways crooked will be found out.”
—Proverbs 10:9 (esv)
1. What contrasting statement is made in this verse?

2. The word integrity comes from the word integer, where we get
the idea of something that is whole or complete. So what do you
think it means to walk with integrity?

3. How do you think living with integrity could bring security

and restored trust back into your marriage?

57
 A SaFETY PLAN AND BOUNDARIES

• It’s critical for you to remember that the purpose of the plan and
its boundaries is to help your wife feel _______________, not to
punish or control you.
• A safety plan brings ___________________ to a world that has
been shaken to the core.

COMMON BOUNDARIES
- No porn or sexually acting out
- No triggering media
- No lying
- Sexual abstinence

• Abstinence can help both your and your wife’s

________________.

Actions Your Wife May Need to See

- Starting recovery - Filtering

- Accountability - Locking up media
- Joining a group - Giving her the passwords

• These positive _________________ contribute to a sense of

safety for your wife.

• Boundaries are in place to _________________ the wife’s heart

and promote healing.

Ways the Husband Can Ensure an Effective Safety Plan

1. Take ________________.

• Don’t wait to be told what to do if you know that a certain

______________________ would add to your wife’s safety.

2. Follow through on the _________________________.

58
• Willingly initiate ______________________ for all broken
boundaries instead of making your wife police you.

• It’s important that you see ___________________ not as

punishment but as protecting your wife’s heart and the sanctity
of your marriage.

3. Have a good _________________ about the boundaries.

• See boundaries as a _______________________ to restore safety

to your wife’s life regardless of the cost.

4. Have a bigger ___________________.

• This bigger vision will provide a _________________ that will

sustain the emotional ups and downs and your wife’s lack of
trust at times.

Biblical Insight

Read Ephesians 5:28–29.

1. In what way are men commanded to love their wives in v. 28?

2. What does Paul say that a man is doing when he loves his wife
in v. 28?

3. How does Paul describe what we are doing when we love our
wives in v. 29?

4. How do you think helping your wife with a safety plan and
boundaries is loving and caring toward her?

59
 SEX AND TRUE INTIMACY

• Pornography is a ___________________ normal stimulus.

• Whether you ___________________ an appetite for harder forms

of pornography or for more and different sexual partners or for
self sex, each of these has one thing in common:
They make it more difficult to be _________________ with
one sexual partner for life the way God intended.

• Pornography promises sexual fulfillment, but actually takes away

the ability to enjoy the _________________ thing.

• Porn sex __________________ the porn pathways in the brain

that strengthen one's appetite for new and different sexual
partners.

• The appetite you __________________ is the one that grows.

• A time of ___________________ can help you because it allows

your brain to reset around your wife as you take time to invest in
nonsexual intimacy.

• Porn and sex addiction is an _____________________ disorder.

• Cultivating __________ - _________________ intimacy has

proven to be significant in jump-starting a husband’s recovery.

• For your wife to trust again, she has to ________________ that

you are letting her in and that she is getting to know the real you.

• The time you used to spend on acting out you need to

____________ the time you used to spend on acting out in your
recovery and in your marriage.

• Don’t ________________ your pain but allow it to cause you to

press into deeper relationships with God, your wife, and others.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

60
 Biblical Insight

“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept

pure.”
—Hebrews 13:4

1. Honored is the Greek word “timios,” which can mean “precious

or esteemed.” How do you think pornography threatens to
keep intimacy in marriage as something that is precious and
esteemed?

2. “Marriage bed” can actually be translated “sexual intercourse,”

so this verse could read like this: “and marital sexual intercourse
kept pure.” How does this correlate with what we learned in this
lesson?

3. “Kept pure” is a shortened definition for the term “amiantos,”

which means “free from that by which the nature of a thing is
deformed and debased.” (blueletterbible.org). How do you think
pornography can and has deformed and debased sexual and
emotional intimacy in your marriage?

61
62
UNDERSTANDING
THE ADDICTION
CYCLE AND
ITS DRIVERS

63
 ZONES OF RECOVERY

• You are in the ____________________ zone when you do one of

the behaviors that you committed not to.

• If you don’t grow your __________________________ of relapse,

you typically find yourself justifying these triggering behaviors
that will lead to relapse.

• The single people who learn to _______________ their acting out

with negative consequences often find sobriety sooner.

• The __________________ zone is when you do one of the

triggering activities that lead you to relapse.

Common Danger Zone Activities and Practices

- Checking out girls/guys - Sexualized media

- Dwelling on impure thoughts - Isolating when tempted

64
• Something else that could put you in the Danger Zone is not
doing the ______________ of your Core Practices.

• ______________ activities + neglecting Core Practices puts you

in the Danger Zone and leads to relapse.

• _________ Zone = Practicing Core Practices + NO Triggering

Activities

• Recovery isn’t just about stopping a certain behavior, but it’s also
about _____________ a new lifestyle.

Biblical Insight

Read Romans 13:14.

1. What are the two commands given in this verse?

2. To clothe means “to sink into a garment.” How would you

paraphrase this command with that definition?

3. Ted said that “making provision for the flesh means leaving the
door open for your fleshly appetites to be stirred up.” What is one
thing you can do to close the door on your fleshly appetites?

CORE APPLICATIONS
Identify what activities belong in each of your three zones.

CORE PRACTICES
1. E
 valuate which zone you are in through regular check-in
on the Fight Club calendar.

65
 ZONES OF RECOVERY activities and practices

Recovery Zone

Danger Zone

Relapse Zone

Recovery Zone: When you are practicing Core Practices and no

triggering activities. Some examples: Checking in daily, regular
Scripture intake, authentic community, sticking to commitments,
exercising, eating healthy. You should develop your Recovery Zone
list individually and personalize it. Try to grow this list to be as big or
bigger than your Danger Zone list!

Danger Zone: When you do one of the triggering activities that

leads you to a relapse. Some examples: Checking out girls/guys,
dwelling on impure thoughts, isolating when tempted, partaking
in sexualized media, binge eating, justifying behaviors. Like
the Recovery Zone list, personalize and grow your Danger Zone
activities. Pray that the Spirit will help you identify triggers in your
life.

Relapse Zone: When you do one of the unwanted sexual behaviors

you have committed not to. Some examples: Looking at porn,
masturbating, or hooking up. After you establish a track record of
sobriety, it is good to expand your definition of relapse to include
behaviors that lead directly to a relapse.

66
List out your activities and practices.

Recovery Zone

Danger Zone

Relapse Zone

67
 THE ADDICTION CYCLE

The first three goals of any effective program must be:

1. Stop the _________________.

2. Stop the _________________.

3. Stop the _________________.

• The easiest place to stop the sexual addiction cycle is in

stage one. This is why it is so important to learn what your
_______________ are and avoid them.

• ___________________ is a key tool to strike to the very heart of

the addictive cycle.

• Most people don’t realize that they have _______________ that

precede their acting out, but learning to see the patterns is
crucial.

• Healthy _________________ are set up to limit triggers and to

put up obstacles to keep you from practicing your routines.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

68
 Biblical Insight

“Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone as

obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one you obey—whether you
are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads
to righteousness?”
—Romans 6:16

1. What happens when you offer yourself to something as a slave?

2. What are the two different ways this verse tells us that it can play
out?

3. How does this verse apply to the sexual addiction cycle?

4. What are some of the ways we learned we can offer ourselves

as slaves of righteousness in this lesson (example: practicing
BRACE)?

CORE APPLICATIONS
Identify your routines.

CORE PRACTICES
1. Address routines with effective boundaries.

69
 What are your routines?

Most people don’t realize that they have routines that precede their
acting out. These routines prevent them from walking properly in
the daytime, and they make provision for gratifying the desires of
the flesh.

“Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and

drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in
quarreling and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make
no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.”
—Romans 13:13–14

Learning to see your patterns is crucial for your recovery. As you

answer the questions below, refer to your past check-ins (in the App
tap on “Menu” and then select “Progress”) and Crash Reports to help
you identify your patterns when acting out.

What: What are you tempted by the most? What are the things you
do between the time you are triggered and acting out to “set the
table” (routines)?

When: What day of the week and time of day are you most tempted?

70
Where: Where do you typically go to act out? What locations are
triggering for you (i.e., gyms, hotels, beaches)? Do you struggle
when you travel (i.e., at a hotel, on vacation, when you visit your
parents)?

Why: What emotions typically precede your temptations? What are

the common behaviors that drive you down the FASTER Scale? What
does sexual sin give you that you feel you need?

How: How do you arrange certain things in your life to support your
routines and acting out? This could be staying late at the office to
be alone, or driving a certain way home from work where you see
explicit material.

Once you start evaluating your routines, you may begin to notice
that the details of your life are actually arranged to support the very
bondage from which you want to get free.

What boundaries can you set up to counteract your routines (i.e.,

when triggered, don’t go to your room if that is where you usually
act out)?

Make sure to share these with your accountability partner or small group.

71
 DRIVERS OF THE ADDICTION CYCLE

• The ________________ issues that are driving the sexual

addiction cycle must be addressed head-on in order to have
lasting freedom.

The 5 Factors Driving the Sexual Addiction Cycle

1. An ________________ Brain

2. Our Sexualized ________________

3. Negative _________________ of Life

• In our overmedicated culture, we are used to

_____________________ the pain instead of facing it.

4. Traumatic __________________

5. ____________________

• __________ says I have done bad, but _____________ says I am

bad.

• Many sex therapists believe that shame is the ________________

of all the drivers for the majority of sex addicts.

• One reason it’s so important to deal with the roots of sexual

addiction is because the addict will often find other ways to
_________________.

• Dealing with the _______________ of the addiction is the only

way to gain the lasting freedom that you want.

72
 Biblical Insight

“They have healed the brokenness of My people superficially, saying,

‘Peace, peace,’ but there is no peace.”
—Jeremiah 6:14 (nasb)

1. God, through Jeremiah, is highlighting a devastating problem

that has resulted because of the spiritual leaders of the day.
What is the problem that God is highlighting in this verse?

2. The word superficially is the Hebrew word “qalal,” which means

“in a trifling way.” According to this, why do you think addressing
the drivers or the roots of the addiction cycle is so important?

3. How has our culture tried to bring healing in the area of

compulsive sexual habits in a superficial way?

73
 THE GREAT EXCHANGE

• Sin isn’t just the _______________ but it’s what goes on in our
mind and heart.

• The greatest consequence of our sin is a_______________ from

God.

• No amount of good _____________ can get us to God because

God’s standard is perfection.

• The Bible uses the accounting term ____________ to describe

what is taking place.

• Christ lived the life we couldn’t live, and He __________ the debt
that we couldn’t pay.

• Each person must make their own decision to:

• ________ from their sin

• ________ from trusting in their own works

• ________ in Christ

• When Christ is in your life, you have the _____________ to face

life and your addiction with God’s strength.

SAMPLE PRAYER

Dear God, I know that I am a sinner, and that I’m separated from
You. I believe Jesus died for my sins and rose from the dead. I turn
from my sins and receive the forgiveness and righteousness that
You offer through Christ. Lord, I invite You to come into my life and
take control. I want to trust and follow You as my Lord and Savior.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

74
 Biblical Insight

Read 2 Corinthians 5:21.

1. God makes a Great Exchange in this verse. In your own words,

what is the exchange that takes place in this verse?

2. As a result of this exchange, what do people become that receive

this exchange?

3. Being credited with the righteousness of Christ is how God sees

His children even though this isn’t how we always act. How can
we hold onto our position of righteousness through Christ even
though our practice often doesn’t match up?

CORE APPLICATIONS
Make the Great Exchange or begin considering it.

75
 EVALUATE YOUR CORE APPLICATIONS AND PRACTICES

CORE APPLICATIONS
Take the SAST.
Ask at least one person to hold you accountable.
Commit to detox.
Lock up your devices to prevent access to porn as
much as possible.
Pick verses from the list to use when practicing
BRACE.
Commit to live in Reality.
Identify what activities belong in each of your 3 zones.
Identify your routines.
Make the Great Exchange or begin considering it.
Have you completed your Core Applications?

CORE PRACTICES
1. Use the FASTER Scale daily.
2. Regularly check in with your accountability.
3. Be completely honest with your accountability.
4. Practice BRACE when tempted.
5. Practice BRACE even without temptation.
6. F
 ill out a Crash Analysis after a relapse and give
to your accountability.
7. E
 valuate which zone you are in through regular
check-in on the Fight Club calendar.
8. Address routines with effective boundaries.
Are you practicing your Core Practices?

76
 THE BRAIn
SCIENCE OF
PORN ADDICTION

77
 THE BRAIN’s REWARD SYSTEM

• The brain’s reward system starts with a burst of ______________

when it experiences something pleasurable that it wants you
to remember.

• A behavior you do __________________ gets more ingrained in

your mind, especially if that behavior is pleasurable.

• AD-DIC-TION: A primary, chronic disease of brain

_______________, motivation, memory, and related circuitry

PREFRONTAL CORTEX VENTRAL TEGMENTAL AREA (VTA)

NUCLEUS ACCUMBENS HIPPOCAMPUS

AMYGDALA

• Dopamine + Prefrontal Cortex = Focus/________________

• Dopamine + Hippocampus = ________________ the Porn

• When you are triggered physically or emotionally,

_______________ is released so that your cravings begin to
increase.

• Every time you give in to the craving and act out, it only
strengthens and _________________ this reward circuitry.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

78
 Biblical Insight

“Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what
the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit
have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.”
—Romans 8:5

1. The word for “to live according to” in the Greek is “kata,” and can
mean “has allowed something to be in charge of.” How would
you write this verse in your own words with that definition of
“according to”?

2. What do you think is the determining factor for what a person

allows to be in charge of his life according to this verse?

3. To “set your mind” means “to direct your mind to a thing, in a

striving fashion.” How do you think the brain's reward system
influences what a person sets his mind on?

79
 THE PHARMACY IN YOUR HEAD

• Norepinephrine: Acts as a ________________ for sexual arousal

and sexual memory

• Information is stored for easy ___________________ with the

help of norephinephrine.

• Oxytocin and Vasopressin: __________________ Hormones

“The brain learns through porn use that ___________ people are
less rewarding than fake people.”
—Norman Doidge MD, The Brain That Changes Itself

• Endogenous Opiates: The body produces these and endorphins

during climax which provides pain ______________ and a sense
of euphoria.

• God designed people to have an exhilarating sexual experience.

Unwanted Sexual Behavior

+Secrecy
+Risk Taking
+____________
Greater High

When you start chasing a Sexual High, you start:

• Going places you ____________ intended to go and doing things

you never thought you would do.

• Whether the emotional impact on you is GREAT or SMALL,

quitting porn for a significant period of time allows your
_________________ to return to normal.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

80
 Biblical Insight

“Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that
will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from
the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will
from the Spirit reap eternal life.”
—Galatians 6:7–8 (esv)

1. What does v. 7 say a person reaps?

2. How do you think sowing sexual sin and pornography into your
life is sowing to the flesh?

3. This text says the person that sows to their flesh is corrupting
their morality. From what you learned in this video, how do you
understand that to be true?

4. How can we sow to the Spirit?

81
 THE MAKING OF THE ADDICTED BRAIN

• Willpower is a function of the ________________ cortex.

• Study after study has confirmed that using pornography

repeatedly actually reshapes the prefrontal cortex, literally
_______________ your willpower and moral compass.

• Hypofrontality: The prefrontal area of the brain has decreased

blood flow and therefore has a decreased effectiveness at
restraining impulses.

• Strong boundaries and accountability are

_____________________, especially in the early months of
recovery.

• _______________ functions as a sustained molecular switch

which first helps initiate, then maintains a state of addiction for a
relatively prolonged period of time.

• After 6–8 weeks of ________________ from the addictive

substance, there is often a breakthrough for patients in their
recovery.

The Process of Addiction

• Consumption of Porn >> Dopamine >> DeltaFosB >> Addiction-

Related Changes = ______________ and ________________

• __________________ is the condition of being extremely

sensitive to sexually arousing stimuli.

• _______________ or tolerance is when the addict needs more

and more of a substance or pornography to get the same effect.

• The Insanity of Addiction: “You want it more, but it fulfills you

_____________.”

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

82
 Biblical Insight

“Just as you used to offer yourselves as slaves to impurity and to

ever-increasing wickedness, so now offer yourselves as slaves to
righteousness leading to holiness.”
—Romans 6:19

1. How does one become a slave to impurity?

2. What results from becoming a slave to impurity?

3. How did the video help you understand how the brain is involved
in this process?

4. What hope does this verse give us about overcoming this

bondage?

83
 CONDITIONING THE AROUSAL TEMPLATE

• Through sexual experiences, you have developed certain

_______________ tastes.

• An individual’s arousal __________ is unique to the person and

reflects what excites them sexually.

• Pavlov’s experiment helps us to understand that there are

certain things that your brain has __________________ with
sexual pleasure.

• Your arousal template is made up of those ____________ things

that arouse you sexually.

- A certain kind of look - A type of person

- A certain body part - Even a computer starting up

Spectrum of Arousal Templates

Negatively Conditioned Arousal Template

• Your _____________ becomes attached to certain images,

languages, sounds, and sex acts, and most of the time, it is
subconscious.

• Leads to _______________________ with a normal healthy sex

life.

• Those who watch porn have an increasingly less

_________________ sex life.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

84
 Biblical Insight

“For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the
Spirit is life and peace. For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile
to God, for it does not submit to God's law; indeed, it cannot. Those
who are in the flesh cannot please God.”
—Romans 8:6–8 (esv)

1. According to v. 6, what results from setting our mind

on the flesh?

2. What do you think it means to set our mind on the flesh?

3. What results from setting our mind on the Spirit?

4. How do you think what we set our mind on can affect the
conditioning of our arousal template?

CORE APPLICATIONS
Identify your arousal template.

85
 EXTREME CONDITIONING

• Many porn users have had their arousal ____________________

conditioned so that they are sexually aroused by specific
behaviors and elements connected to their pornography.

Most Prominent Study of Pornography Ever Undertaken

Dr. Anna Bridges

Of the 25 Most popular pornography videos of 2004–2005:

• Eighty-eight percent of the scenes portrayed _________ from a

man toward a woman.

• When a man acts violently toward a woman in pornography,

______________ of the time one of two things happen:

1. Either the woman expresses _____________ at the

violence.
2. There is no response at all.

This teaches the male viewers that women enjoy being hit.
It also teaches the female viewers that if they are hit during
a sexual encounter, they should like it or at least not object.

• One hundred studies have shown that pornography use

increases the likelihood that a man will commit ______________
against a woman.

• Through a porn habit, users can actually start to erode their own
natural sexual preferences and _______________ their sexual
arousal template.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

86
 Biblical Insight

Read Romans 1:24–27.

1. When the Romans of the first century rejected God, what does
v. 24 say about how God responded?

2. The phrase “God gave them over” means that He allowed their
own sinful conditioning to corrupt their lives. How do vv. 26–27
describe the result of God allowing their sin to change them?

3. How do these verses illustrate extreme conditioning?

87
 THE GAME CHANGERS

• Today’s ______________ have had their arousal templates

shaped in a deeper and more profound way than earlier
generations.

Porn History Game Changers

1953 — FIRST PORN MAGAZINE

• The government had _______________ laws that kept

pornography out of the public eye and away from minors.

1990s — ADVENT OF THE INTERNET

• Through the internet, porn became accessible, affordable, and

_______________.

1996 — SUPREME COURT DECISION STRUCK DOWN INDECENCY

LAWS ON THE INTERNET

• In a 5–4 decision, pornography was ______________ as free

speech.

2006 — ADVANCES IN HIGH-SPEED INTERNET

• The possibility of watching _____________ hard-core

pornographic videos for hours at a time became a reality for
millions overnight.

2007 — THE ADVENT OF THE SMARTPHONE

• High-speed porn became available __________ to millions of

youth at increasingly younger ages.

“It is easier for a twelve-year-old boy with a smartphone

to watch hard-core porn than it is for him to get a drink of
water because he actually has to get up to get a drink of
water.”

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

88
 Biblical Insight

"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves
the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the
world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and
pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world.”
—1 John 2:15–16 (esv)

In these verses world refers to the system of beliefs and practices

in opposition to God and His Word.

1. What is the command in this passage if you fill in the

above definition?

2. How are the things in the world described?

3. What are the results of loving the world or things in the world?

4. How have the game changers made it easier for people to love
the pornography of the world?

89
 THE ICEBERG OF ADDICTION

• It is what is ________________ the surface that is typically

the most dangerous.

• Behavior and routines are the only aspects of addiction that are
_______________ to the eye.

• Just below the surface is ________________.

• Just focusing on the ______________ will work for a while, but it

will always come back unless you deal with the unseen drivers.

• To address the behaviors, routines, fantasy, and sexualized

society, we must establish healthy _______________________,
have good accountability, and practice BRACE.

• The men and women who practice BRACE have significantly

better track records of _______________ temptation.

• One of the biggest hindrances to walking in freedom is the

fact that you have resisted temptation many times on your
_____________.

• It’s that last ______________percent that keeps you in bondage.

• Using BRACE ______________ you are triggered is the only way

to be ready for the 10–20 percent of temptations that you will
need it.

• By doing regular ______________ you are laying a foundation

that we will build on in future lessons.

• This subconscious ________________ and chemical connection

to porn can be significant and something therapists call “dating
porn.”

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

90
 Biblical Insight

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the
Lord.”
—Colossians 3:23

1. How would you write this verse in your own words?

2. What do you think it means to work at something with all your

heart?

3. What do you think would change if you worked on your recovery

with all your heart for the Lord?

CORE PRACTICES
1. E
 valuate your progress on setting up boundaries and
closing all porn access.

PROGRESS EVALUATION
Evaluate yourself in doing the work of recovery:
- How many times a week are you checking in?
- How often are you using BRACE when tempted?
-H ow often are you practicing BRACE when not
tempted?
- Have you completed all the Core Applications
assigned?
- Are you regularly doing the Core Practices introduced?

91
 RATS AND DOPAMINE

• Dopamine is the pleasure _______________ that the addict is

trying to boost through his addictive substance.

• Sex is by far the highest ______________ producer of dopamine.

• When dopamine is raised to ____________ levels, the brain can

stop producing as much dopamine over time, which means the
addict will need more of the same substance to get the same
dopamine burst.

• The result for the porn addict is that he builds a tolerance

and needs more porn or harder versions of it to get the
____________ high.

• Porn addicts have _____________ themselves to prefer

pornography, which has diminished their ability to enjoy real sex.

• Sustaining a dopamine high for ___________ is a new

phenomenon that hasn’t existed before but is now possible
because of today’s porn.

• The pornified brains of young people have ___________ them for

years for moving on from one naked person to the next, so it is
difficult to stop once they’re married.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

92
 Biblical Insight

“Therefore sin is not to reign in your mortal body so that you obey
its lusts, and do not go on presenting the parts of your body to sin
as instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God
as those who are alive from the dead, and your body’s parts as
instruments of righteousness for God.”
—Romans 6:12–13 (nasb)

1. What are we commanded in these verses?

2. What result do we experience if we let sin reign in our bodies

and minds?

3. The word present means “to place beside, or to bring into

intimate fellowship.” How is this true in unnatural sexual
consumption?

4. The word for instrument means “tool,” but literally it means “a

weapon for war.” As you have learned more about the complexity
of our minds, why do you think God would refer to our minds as a
weapon of war?

93
 YOUNG MIND, PERFECT STORM

• The brain actually __________ after age 12 as billions of nerve

connections are pruned and reorganized.

_______ of Americans who are addicted to

started using their addictive substance

BEFORE THEY WERE ________.

• The adolescent brain is particularly susceptible to pornography

because the brain organizes around its _____________
connections.

• Another reason that youth are more vulnerable to porn addiction

is because their reward circuitry is in _______________.

• The earlier one is exposed to pornography, the

__________________ likelihood of addiction.

• There are ___________-___________ effects for those who

consume large amounts of pornography during this very
impressionable time for the brain.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

94
 Biblical Insight

“Jesus said to his disciples: ‘Things that cause people to stumble

are bound to come, but woe to anyone through whom they come. It
would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone
tied around their neck than to cause one of these little ones to
stumble.’”
—Luke 17:1–2

1. Jesus says that things that cause people to stumble in life

abound, but what strong warning does Jesus give in this
passage?

2. The word woe is an interjection of denunciation. You could read

it, “WOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEE.” How would you put this in your
own words?

3. Knowing what you just learned about the adolescent mind,

what do you think God is saying to the creators and publishers
of pornography?

4. What does Jesus say would be better than this “woe”?

5. Based on what we learned in this lesson, why do you think that

Jesus is particularly concerned about the little ones?

95
 RENEWING THE MIND

• The addiction was birthed out of the repetition of porn pathways,

and healing will come by ________________ of new pathways.

• It isn’t simply that you suppress the old pathways, but you must
____________ new ones.

THE KEY TO TRANSFORMATION: Renewing Your ___________

COMMON LIES PORN USERS ACCEPT

WORLD’S LIES GOD’S TRUTH

Porn’s not a big deal.

Everyone looks at porn.

Once I’m married, then I’ll quit.

Masturbation is OK and normal.

It’s my secret sin that no one’s
going to find out.
I will never be able to resist
this temptation.

• Wrong behavior is a result of ______________ thinking.

• ________________________ and using God’s Word was what

Jesus modeled for us when He faced temptation.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

96
 Biblical Insight

Read John 8:31–36.

1. What are the results of holding to Jesus’ teaching in vv. 31–32?

2. The word hold means “to tarry, to not depart, to continue in.”
According to what we learned in this lesson, why do you think
this is important?

3. What is it that we have a need to be set free from according to

v. 34?

4. What promise can we hold onto from this passage if we renew

our minds with truth?

Read John 17:17.

1. In Jesus’ final prayer on earth, He prays this for His disciples.

What can truth do to us according to this verse?

2. The word sanctify is “hagiazo,” meaning “to make holy.” What

hope does this verse give if you continue to renew your mind with
God’s truth?

CORE APPLICATIONS
Commit to regular intake of the Bible.

CORE PRACTICES
1. Read the Bible regularly.
2. Practice regular Scripture memory.

97
 EVALUATE YOUR CORE APPLICATIONS AND PRACTICES
CORE APPLICATIONS
Take the SAST.
Ask at least one person to hold you accountable.
Commit to detox.
Lock up your devices to prevent access to porn as much
as possible.
Pick verses from the list to use when practicing BRACE.
Commit to live in Reality.
Identify what activities belong in each of your three zones.
Identify your routines.
Make the Great Exchange or begin considering it.
Identify your arousal template.
Commit to regular intake of the Bible
Have you completed your Core Applications?

CORE PRACTICES
1. Use the FASTER Scale daily.
2. Regularly check in with your accountability.
3. Be completely honest with your accountability.
4. Practice BRACE when tempted.
5. Practice BRACE even without temptation.
6.  Fill out a Crash Analysis after a relapse and give to your
accountability.
7. Evaluate which zone you are in through regular check-in
on the Fight Club calendar.
8. Address routines with effective boundaries.
9. Evaluate your progress on setting up boundaries
and closing all porn access.
10. Read the Bible regularly.
11. Practice regular Scripture memory.
Are you practicing your Core Practices?

98
CONFRONTING LIES
AND TRIGGERS

99
 Pay It Forward

• The Bible says, “Fleshly lusts . . . wage war against the soul”
(1 Peter 2:11, nasb).

• Dr. Samuel Perry researched the impact of pornography use on a

group of three thousand people over a ___ year period of time.

Porn use wages war against:

1. Spiritual ____________

2. _________________

• Married couples where one of the spouses started watching

porn were ______ times more likely to divorce in the next two
years than the porn-free couple.

3. Kingdom _____________

• More porn = ________ service

4. Godly _____________________

We are in a spiritual _____________ with an enemy who uses

pornography to wage war against God’s people in an unprecedented
way.

• Only _____percent of pastors say their church has a program or

resource to help their people overcome pornography.

• As a ministry, we have a pay-it-________________ model.

• Will you pay it forward for the _________ person?

If someone completes the Freedom Fight program and they are

committed to the three core habits of checking in, practicing BRACE,
and doing the Core Applications and Practices, ______percent find
freedom.

100
Most people who start the Freedom Fight never ____________ it.

Finding freedom typically takes six months to ____ years, so don’t

give up.

Change and _________________ take time.

Biblical Insight

Read Hebrews 12:1–2.

1. In v. 1, how can porn use be both a sin and a weight?

2. What are ways porn use can keep us from running the race God
has for us?

3. What is the race God has called all His followers to?

4. Why do you think we are told to have endurance in the race?

5. H
 ow can focusing on Jesus and how He ran His race help us run
our race?

101
 THE BOOK

“Any porn use . . . is associated with declines in religious

commitment and behavior and an increase in religious doubts.”
—Dr. Samuel Perry

• There is a _________________________ between frequency of

porn consumption and the number of doubts one has about faith.

God’s Word will keep you from ____________, or porn

will keep you from God’s Word.

Bible Confidence Builders

1. The Bible’s Amazing __________

• Written over a _________ year period
• By _______ human authors
• In _____ different languages on _____ different continents
• The unified message of the Bible is organized around the
person and work of _________ __________.

2. __________________ continues to prove the historical accuracy

of the Bible.

“Today more than _____________ archaeological discoveries verify

biblical people, places, and events”
—Bite-Size Bible Answers, 14

3. The Bible has correctly __________ the future hundreds of times.

• _______ of the prophecies that were predicted to be fulfilled
by now have been fulfilled to the smallest detail.
• Over ______ prophecies have been fulfilled in the person
of Jesus Christ.
• God has given us undeniable proof of His Word by the fact
that the Bible has a ____________ record in its predictions.

4. The Bible’s ________________

• In _____________ the Dead Sea Scrolls, which were dated
to 150 BC, were discovered.

102
 “When they compared the Bible we have today with this
ancient copy of the Old Testament that was frozen in time
for 2,100 years, they discovered that they were the same.”

• We have cold hard _________________ that the Old

Testament we have today is what it was 2,100 years ago.

Biblical Insight

Read Matthew 24:35.

1. What promise does Jesus make about God’s words?

2. Thomas Paine, one of the founding fathers of the United States

and author of The Age of Reason, said, “When I get through, there
will not be five Bibles left in America.” Today twenty million Bibles
are sold in America every year. How does this statistic correlate
with Jesus’ promise?

Read Psalm 119:9–11.

1. What is the relationship between God’s Word and purity?

2. How did the psalmist apply this truth?

3. From what you learned in this lesson, why do you think the Bible
can offer real solutions when it comes to our fight in sexual
addiction?

103
 To STEAL, KILL, AND DESTROY

• Satan is an angel who___________________ against God and

has opposed God and His purposes ever since.

• Satan continues to lead people _______________ by getting them

to ignore God’s warnings and doubt His Word and goodness.

• Satan promises a better life, but his ________________ is to

steal, kill, and destroy.

• Porn Promises = Fulfillment + Satisfaction

• Porn Delivers = Destruction of _____________________,

Marriages, and the Inability to Enjoy Sex

Satan + The World’s System + Your Flesh

• God’s ways offer the __________________________ life in all

areas including our sex lives.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

104
 Biblical Insight

When Jesus was speaking with a group of prideful religious

leaders, He described what Satan is like.

Read John 8:44.

1. What are all the descriptions Jesus uses to describe Satan or

the devil?

2. If these descriptions were true of Satan in Jesus’ day, then they

are still true today. What does this mean for how Satan operates
in our lives today?

3. What are some ways that Satan has lied to you in an attempt to
steal, kill, and destroy your life?

Read 1 Peter 5:8.

1. What does Peter command his audience?

2. What is the reason for this command, found in the second part of
the verse?

3. Satan is described as our enemy who is occupied with seeking to

devour, literally swallow up, our lives. How has he tried to do that
with sexual sin in your own life?

105
 QUENCH YOUR THIRST

• All people are _________________ for a fullness of life, and they

will seek to quench their thirst with whatever they believe will be
the most satisfying.

• ____________ is one of those cisterns that we run after in

pursuit of fulfillment.

Places we look for ultimate satisfaction, significance, and security

- Money - Accomplishments
- Relationships - Partying
- Sex - Entertainment

Sex addiction is a ________________ of this bigger issue.

• Jesus’ invitation is to anyone who is ________________.

• Satisfaction won’t be something you are looking for out there, but
it will be something that will come from ___________________
of you because Jesus is in your life.

• We must recognize and admit that porn isn’t just a bad habit in
our lives, but it’s an __________________, a god that we run
after for fulfillment, comfort, satisfaction, and even significance.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

106
 Biblical Insight

“My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the
spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken
cisterns that cannot hold water.”
—Jeremiah 2:13

1. We are introduced to a problem in Jeremiah that is like a double-

edged sword. God says that His people have committed two sins;
what are they?

2. In your own words (or with the use of Dictionary.com) define

some of these terms:
Forsaken–

Spring–

Cistern–

3. Rewrite this verse as a paraphrase in your own words.

4. What is the difference between a cistern (a ditch to catch water)

and a spring?

5. What happens when water is poured into a broken cistern?

6. What does this mean for our lives if we continually drink from
sources that God never intended to give us life and fulfillment?

7. What promise can we cling to in John 7:37–38?

107
 TRIGGER-HAPPY

• Knowing and effectively __________________ your triggers can

be a game changer in your recovery.

3 Types of Triggers
1. ______________ Triggers: Sexual stimuli that arouse sexual
desires or thoughts.

• Determining the triggers behind your temptations and relapses

is crucial to building effective _________________ and finding
freedom.

Most Common Sexual Triggers

- Social media - Movies

- The internet - TV shows
- Immodestly dressed women

• Once you identify your triggers, you must set

____________________ to eliminate them as much as possible.
• Those serious about recovery often realize they need to
adopt new ____________ related to movies, TV shows, and
other entertainment.
• Taking initiative to ____________________ triggers and ask for
help beforehand is often the difference between the person who
walks in freedom and the one who doesn’t.
2. Non-sexual ______________________ Triggers

• Your brain has _______________ certain things with acting out,

and they become part of your arousal template.
• You can’t just passively build boundaries ________________ and
hope it all works out.
• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

108
 Biblical Insight

“When tempted, no one should say, ‘God is tempting me.’ For God
cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person
is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire
and enticed.”
—James 1:13–14

1. How do these verses say a person is tempted?

2. The word dragged is “exelko” and carries with it the idea of

hunting game being lured out from its hiding place of safety. How
does that relate with how your triggers affect you?

3. James uses the phrase “own evil desire,” meaning that each
person has desires or lusts that pertain to them individually. How
does this truth reinforce what you learned in this “Trigger-Happy”
lesson?

4. The word enticed means “to bait” like you use when fishing.
Rewrite this verse inserting the definitions for dragged, enticed,
and own in the space below.

CORE APPLICATIONS
Identify your triggers and the boundaries needed to
address them.

CORE PRACTICES
1. Continue to address triggers with boundaries.

109
 EVALUATE YOUR CORE APPLICATIONS AND PRACTICES
CORE APPLICATIONS
Take the SAST.
Ask at least one person to hold you accountable.
Commit to detox.
Lock up your devices to prevent access to porn as
much as possible.
Pick verses from the list to use when practicing
BRACE.
Commit to live in Reality.
Identify what activities belong in each of your three
zones.
Identify your routines.
Make the Great Exchange or begin considering it.
Identify your arousal template.
Commit to regular intake of the Bible.
Identify your triggers and the boundaries needed
to address them.
Have you completed your Core Applications?

CORE PRACTICES
1. Use the FASTER Scale daily.
2. Regularly check in with your accountability.
3. Be completely honest with your accountability.
4. Practice BRACE when tempted.
5. Practice BRACE even without temptation.
6.  Fill out a Crash Analysis after a relapse and give
to your accountability.
7.  Evaluate which zone you are in through regular
check-in on the Fight Club calendar.
8. Address routines with effective boundaries
9.  Evaluate your progress on setting up boundaries
and closing all porn access.
10. Read the Bible regularly.
11. Practice regular Scripture
12. Continue to address triggers with boundaries.
Are you practicing your Core Practices?

110
 PROCESS YOUR
EMOTIONS
INSTEAD OF
MEDICATING THEM

111
 DON’T GET BLASSTED

• There are also ___________ triggers that can lead people to act
out.

• When you sexually act out to medicate _________________ pain,

it quits being about just the sex and becomes about meeting the
needs of the addicted brain.

• Confronting the emotional _______________ begins when you

learn to read your emotions.

EMOTIONS WHICH ONES DO YOU IDENTIFY WITH MOST?

Bored
Lonely
Anxious
Stressed
Self-Doubting
Ticked Off
Exhausted
Depressed

• People who aren’t aware of their emotions continually find

themselves getting ___________________ by them and sexually
acting out to medicate the negative feelings.

• Part of growing in __________ - _________________ is

recognizing this tendency to isolate when you are BLASSTED.

• Those who aren’t self-aware tend to ________________

themselves and not reach out, which results in falling back into
the old patterns of medicating the pain.

• It is absolutely necessary for you to _______________ the

specific things that set you up.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

112
 Biblical Insight

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from
it."
—Proverbs 4:23

1. What command is given in this verse?

2. What is the reason for this command?

3. The word guard is a military term meaning “to defend from

dangers.” How does this truth relate to what we learned about
self-awareness in this lesson?

4. What importance does the author of Proverbs give to this

command?

5. With what we learned in “Don’t Get BLASSTED,” why do you think

this is important for you?

CORE APPLICATIONS
Commit not to isolate yourself when triggered.

113
 FACING BLASSTED EMOTIONS

• To find lasting freedom you must learn to ___________________

the negative emotions instead of medicating them.
• Escaping the pain isn’t the goal, but _________________ is.
• Sexually acting out can stunt your emotional development
because you haven’t learned to face and __________________
your emotions.
5 Steps to Addressing Your BLASSTED Emotions
1. _________________ the emotion

• Simply being aware of what you are ___________________

can help you disarm it as a trigger.

2. Determine the _________________ of the emotion

• When you medicate the pain, you never face and

_____________ the real issues and are therefore doomed to
be triggered by them again.

3. Practice ________________

• ____________________ your emotions and acknowledging

your vulnerability are powerful steps in stopping an
emotional trigger.

4. __________________ your emotions

• Immature people hide behind the mask that everything is

okay, but Christ followers have the courage to be __________
and ask for help.

5. ____________________ your emotions regularly

• The most successful recovery groups have ____________

check-ins as a foundational practice.
• Simply ______________ the issue causes the emotion and
situation to lose some of its triggering effect.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

114
 Biblical Insight

“The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the
folly of fools is deception.”
—Proverbs 14:8

1. How does a prudent person gain wisdom according to this

proverb?

2. To give thought to your ways means to understand the direction

and course of your life. Essentially, it means knowing why you do
what you do. How do you think facing your BLASSTED emotions
can give you greater wisdom?

3. Wisdom is the word “chokmah,” and means “a warrior’s skill

set.” How do you think this applies to your fight for freedom in
dealing with negative emotions?

4. How do you need to apply this truth to your life?

CORE PRACTICES
1. F
 ace and process your BLASSTED emotions instead
of medicating them.

115
 CASTING YOUR CARES

• Only when we see the depth of our sinfulness and brokenness

will we see our ______________ for a Savior.

• It’s human nature to medicate emotional pain instead of

__________________ that brokenness to show us our need for
God.

• God wants to help you with your negative emotions because He

______________ about you.

• The world’s way of handling stress is to__________________ it

or to medicate it instead of facing the pain with God’s help.

• Escaping the pain isn’t the goal because God wants to use the
pain to ________________ us.

• Make prayer your _________________ response to anxiety and

other BLASSTED emotions.

• You ________________ supernatural strength and wisdom when

you invite God into your situation instead of trying to handle it on
your own.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

116
 Biblical Insight

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

—1 Peter 5:7
1. What does Peter command his audience?

2. To cast means to “throw upon.” What exactly do you think God

would want you to do as a result of this command?

3. What is the reason that God wants us to cast our anxiety and
negative emotions onto Him?

Read 2 Corinthians 12:9–10.

1. According to v. 9, how does God’s strength/power become fully
realized in Paul’s life?

2. The rest of v. 9 Paul goes on to say that he boasts and takes pride
in his weaknesses. What is the reason he gives for this?

3. How does this truth and what we learned in this lesson apply
to you?

4. What is Paul’s conclusion in v. 10?

CORE PRACTICES
1. Take your negative emotions to God in prayer.

117
 THOSE MOST LIKELY TO RELAPSE

• There are certain qualities that help a person succeed in

recovery as well as certain _______________ that sabotage one’s
recovery.

6 Qualities of the Person Most Likely to Relapse

1. Not willing to get _______________ with others

• Living in Reality has to be more important to you than

__________________ your image.
• If you don’t have accountability that you can be real with, recovery
is almost _____________________.
2. Doesn’t __________________ the principles in BRACE

• People who consistently practice the principles of BRACE have

a significantly ______________ rate of recovery than those who
don’t.
3. Not ________________ to do the work of recovery

• These people want recovery as long as it doesn’t

__________________ them too much.
4. Isn’t fully ___________________ to the process

5. Has shallow ____________________ for pursuing sobriety

• Make a list of ____________ reasons why you are pursuing

freedom and review it daily.
6. A sense of ___________________

• It’s easy to believe that you have a ____________ to certain

media even though they trigger you.
• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

118
 Biblical Insight

Read 1 Corinthians 9:24–27.

1. What is it that Paul is seeking to win in his life?

2. What are some of the illustrations he uses to make this point?

3. What command does Paul give to the Corinthians in v. 24?

4. What negative quality of the six we just learned about would

keep you from running a championship race?

5. What is Paul’s hope in v. 27?

CORE APPLICATIONs
Identify and address any pattern that makes you likely
to relapse.
Make a list of thirty reasons for pursuing recovery.

CORE PRACTICES
1. R
 egularly review your thirty reasons for pursuing
recovery.

119
 Thirty Reasons for Pursuing recovery

The process of recovery is not usually instantaneous. On average,

it takes six months to two years. One of the Core Applications with
the Freedom Fight is to list out thirty reasons for pursuing recovery
and review them regularly. Convictions leak, and this will help you
remember the truth of why you are pursuing recovery.

Coming up with thirty reasons may seem like a lot. Here are some
prompts to help you think through:

• Your walk with God • Your spouse or future spouse

• Your legacy • Your kids and their kids
• Your ministry on your campus • Helping others
or in your church, job, or • Your physical health
neighborhood
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.

120
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
21.
22.
23.
24.
25.
26.
27.
28.
29.
30.

Prayer

121
 EVALUATE YOUR CORE APPLICATIONS AND PRACTICES
CORE APPLICATIONS
Take the SAST.
Ask at least one person to hold you accountable.
Commit to detox.
Lock up your devices to prevent access to porn as much as possible.
Pick verses from the list to use when practicing BRACE.
Commit to live in Reality.
Identify what activities belong in each of your three zones.
Identify your routines.
Make the Great Exchange or begin considering it.
Identify your arousal template.
Commit to regular intake of the Bible.
Identify your triggers and the boundaries needed to address them.
Commit to not isolate yourself when triggered.
Identify and address any pattern that makes you likely to relapse.
Make a list of thirty reasons for pursuing recovery.
Have you completed your Core Applications?

CORE PRACTICES
1. Use the FASTER Scale daily.
2. Regularly check in with your accountability.
3. Be completely honest with your accountability.
4. Practice BRACE when tempted.
5. Practice BRACE even without temptation.
6.  Fill out a Crash Analysis after a relapse and give
to your accountability.
7.  Evaluate which zone you are in through regular check-in on the
Fight Club calendar.
8. Address routines with effective boundaries.
9.  Evaluate your progress on setting up boundaries and closing all
porn access.
10. Read the Bible regularly.
11. Practice regular Scripture memory.
12. Continue to address triggers with boundaries.
13. F ace and process your BLASSTED emotions instead
of medicating them.
14. Take your negative emotions to God in prayer.
15. Regularly review your thirty reasons for pursuing recovery.
Are you practicing your Core Practices?

122
 WINNING THE
SHAME AND
IDENTITY BATTLE

123
 SHAME

SHAME VS. GUILT

GUILT = I have ____________ bad. SHAME = I ____________ bad.
Shame often leads you to believe that there is something uniquely
_________________ with you.
Can be a healthy emotion showing us Unable to change because of an
our sin so that we can turn from it. inherent personal flaw.
Allows people to see that they
Don’t deserve help.
need help.
We are the problem so there is
We can have hope of a fresh start.
a hopelessness.
Can be a springboard to an Is an anchor that often holds a
improved life. person back from moving forward.

THE SHAME CYCLE

SHAME
REINFORCES FEEDS

SELF-ESTEEM
ACT OUT NEGATIVE
EMOTIONS

MEDICATE

5 Keys to Disempower Shame

1. Acknowledge the shame of the addiction but don’t let it

________________ you.

You are_____________ your addiction.

2. Be _______________________ and move toward others.

• We are only as sick as the _____________ we hold.

• Shame ______________ in secrecy; community is the key to

dealing with shame.

124
• As long as you are only ______________ known, you can only be
conditionally loved.

3. Be aware of the ___________ promise of porn.

4. Be aware of the ____________ game.

5. Understand the _______________ of the shame.

Biblical Insight

Read Genesis 3:1–10.

1. Summarize what happened in vv. 1–5.

2. What is Adam and Eve’s response to each other after disobeying

God in v. 7?

3. How did they respond to God in v. 8?

4. In v. 10, Scripture tells us that Adam and Eve hid from God
because they were afraid. How is Adam and Eve’s response to
each other and to God similar to how we respond in our shame
in our relationships with God and with others?

125
 THE MAKING OF A SHAME IDENTITY

• When a shame ________________ settles into a person’s heart

and life, it is a constant drip contributing to the negative emotions
in their life that they regularly feel the need to medicate.

• Self-differentiation means you are able to

_____________________ who you are from a particular thing.

• Those who can’t ___________________ a shameful identity

because of their porn habit will struggle ever getting free.

4 Sources of Shame

1. Not _________________ your commitments

2. The __________________ nature of pornography

• Shocking and deviant porn is ________________ more arousing

and shame-causing.

3. The _______________________ both from yourself and the

enemy

SATAN’S SHAME MESSAGES

- You are worthless. - There is something wrong
- God is done with you. with you.
- You are never getting free - No one struggles like you
from this. do.

4. A _______________________ mentality

• Performance = _______________________

• The result of basing your significance on your

___________________ is that you are only as good as your last
success or accomplishment.

126
 Biblical Insight

“Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds
because of your evil behavior. But now he has reconciled you by
Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight,
without blemish and free from accusation.”
—Colossians 1:21–22

1. What was true about you before you knew Christ according to v. 21?

2. Use Dictionary.com to define the terms below.

Alienated–

Enemies–

3. What is now true about you in v. 22 if you have decided

to follow Christ?

4. Use Dictionary.com to define the terms below.

Reconciled–

Holy–

Blemish–

Accusation-

5. How do these truths combat the shame identity in your own life?

CORE APPLICATIONS
Identify the sources of shame in your life.

127
 TRUE IDENTItY

• Shame is shattered when a person embraces ________________

their identity in Christ.

• A performance mentality says that significance is

______________, but through Christ significance is received.

Benefits to Building Your Identity in Christ

1. It gives you the most solid foundation for your

__________________.

2. It is the most effective way to ________________ shame.

• Jesus wants to set us free from the ______________ of

performance and the opinions of others.

3. It enables you to live in _________________.

4. It helps __________________ emotional triggers.

• A person with a ______________________ based identity will be

more negatively impacted by a failure.

5. You have _______________ power to obey God for the right

reasons.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

128
 Biblical Insight

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has

passed away; behold, the new has come.” (esv)
—2 Corinthians 5:17

1. What does this verse say about someone who is now in Christ?

2. The word new is the word “kainos,” meaning “a whole new

substance.” It’s like having a completely new or different DNA!
What do you think this means about you?

3. What do you think it means that the old has passed away?

Read Genesis 1:27.

1. What is repeated in this verse?

2. How do you think this shows the value God puts on people
in general?

3. How does this apply to your identity?

CORE PRACTICES
1. B
 e aware of getting identity from performance and
the opinions of others.

129
 BO KNOWS

• To move from a performance-based identity to a Christ-based

identity is a _______________.

A STORY: MEPHIBOSHETH

• The identity we _______________ will make a profound

difference in every area of our lives.

A New Identity in Christ

- Forgiven - Loved
- Born Again - Blessed of God
- A child of God - An Heir
- Assured of Eternal Life - Righteous
- Fully Pleasing to God

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

130
 Biblical Insight

Read 2 Samuel 9.

1. What was David’s purpose in looking for Bo in v. 3?

2. What about the way that Mephibosheth is described probably

contributed to his shame identity?

3. What did King David extensively give to Bo in order to bless him?

4. How would you describe the process of Bo’s identity being

changed in this story as a result of David’s kindness to him?

5. How is this story a picture of what God wants to do for us

through a relationship with Jesus?

131
 LIVING A NEW IDENTITY

• When you begin to live out of this new identity, your life changes
as you ______________ the truth about who you are in Christ.

Practices to Help Us Live out of Our New Identity in Christ

1. ____________ your mind.

• Before you can believe who you are in Christ, you first must
__________________ what the Bible says about who you are
in Christ.
2. _________________ the truth.

• Personalizing these truths helps you move past head knowledge

into _________________ change.
3. Allow shame to ___________________ you when you are off
track.

• Shame is an ___________ of performance mentality: that you

are trying to achieve your identity. But, by faith, you are to receive
your identity.
4. Live your new identity by _____________________.

• You received Christ by faith, and you will need to

_________________ to walk by faith to live out of your new
identity.
5. Ask God to ____________ you live out of your new identity in
Christ.

6. ____________________ your shame in a small group.

• Shame is a huge _____________________ to you living out of

your new identity in Christ.
• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

132
 Biblical Insight

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved.”

—Colossians 3:12

1. How does this verse describe those who belong to Christ?

2. If you are in Christ, how are these true of you?

Chosen–

Holy–

Dearly Loved–

“For we walk by faith, not by sight.”

—2 Corinthians 5:7 (esv)

1. How does this verse describe the Christian life?

2. How is faith an essential part of living out of a new identity in

Christ?

3. How can you live out of your new identity by faith?

CORE APPLICATIONS
Accept the value and worth that God attaches to you.

CORE PRACTICES
1. R
 einforce your identity in Christ through meditating
on the truth. See page 201 for verses about who you
are in Christ.

133
 WIN THE BATTLE OF THE MIND

• Just one ________________ thought or lie that a person believes

can make all the difference.

• God’s Word _________________ lies, but we must know His

Word and believe it.

4 Keys to Winning the Battle of the Mind

1. Take every ___________________ captive to obey Christ.

• ____________________ = At Spear Point

Applications:

• Be careful what you ________________ your mind.

• Avoid ____________________ on lustful thoughts.

2. Be aware of __________________ self-talk.

3. ____________________ these negative thoughts and beliefs with

your accountability.

• Just as we need accountability for our behavior, we must be

____________________ for our false beliefs that drive us
into hiding.

4. Be aware of the _________________________________ that you

can use to lead you toward acting out.

Action Excuse

Acting Out

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

134
 Biblical Insight

Read 2 Corinthians 10:3–5.

1. In v. 3 Paul says that we do not wage war as the world does.

How exactly does the world wage war?

2. What can the weapons that Paul fights with do according to v. 4?

3. According to v. 5 what exactly are we to demolish?

4. We have learned that Satan is the “Father of Lies,” and today

we learned that strongholds are built in our minds that stand
against all knowledge of God. There is a battle raging in our
minds. How does Paul say that we win this battle for our minds?

5. Ted says that taking thoughts captive is to hold these thoughts

at spear point in a military fashion. What do you think you need to
take captive?

Application: What thoughts do you think you need to take captive?

CORE PRACTICES
1. Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.

135
 EVALUATE YOUR CORE APPLICATIONS AND PRACTICES
CORE APPLICATIONS
Take the SAST.
Ask at least one person to hold you accountable.
Commit to detox.
Lock up your devices to prevent access to porn as
much as possible.
Pick verses from the list to use when practicing
BRACE.
Commit to live in Reality.
Identify what activities belong in each of your three
zones.
Identify your routines.
Make the Great Exchange or begin considering it.
Identify your arousal template.
Commit to regular intake of the Bible.
Identify your triggers and the boundaries needed
to address them.
Commit to not isolate yourself when triggered.
Identify and address any pattern that makes you likely
to relapse.
Make a list of thirty reasons for pursuing recovery.
Identify the sources of shame in your life.
Accept the value and worth that God attaches to you.
Have you completed your Core Applications?

136
 CORE PRACTICES
1. Use the FASTER Scale daily.
2. Regularly check in with your accountability.
3. Be completely honest with your accountability.
4. Practice BRACE when tempted.
5. Practice BRACE even without temptation.
6.  Fill out a Crash Analysis after a relapse and give
to your accountability.
7.  Evaluate which zone you are in through regular
check-in on the Fight Club calendar.
8. Address routines with effective boundaries.
9.  Evaluate your progress on setting up boundaries
and closing all porn access.
10. Read the Bible regularly.
11. Practice regular Scripture memory.
12. Continue to address triggers with boundaries.
13. F ace and process your BLASSTED emotions instead
of medicating them.
14. Take your negative emotions to God in prayer.
15. R
 egularly review your thirty reasons for
pursuing recovery.
16. B e aware of getting identity from performance and
the opinions of others.
17. R einforce your identity in Christ through meditating
on the truth.
18. T ake every thought captive to the obedience of
Christ.
Are you practicing your Core Practices?

137
138
 FACING
TRAUMATIC PAIN,
EXCUSES, AND THE
BRUTAL FACTS

139
 FACE THE PAIN

• Porn and sex addicts can also be triggered by past

_____________.

“It is clear that for sex addicts, trauma or high stress and addiction
are inextricably connected. . . . Addiction in its various forms
becomes a solution to the anxiety and stress of the trauma.”
—Dr. Patrick Carnes

• Many people who have been stuck in their addiction have

discovered they were actually being triggered by past trauma or
dysfunction that they never _________________.

• A traumatic event can plant powerful ____________________ in

the hearts and minds of a child or adolescent.

Trauma Believe I’m a failure.

Abuse certain I’m unlovable.
Dysfunction lies There is something wrong with me.
I deserve this.

• Sex addiction is classified as an_________________ disorder.

Reasons to Explore the Trauma

1. You typically have more __________________ than you think.

2. Going through the process will _______________ you to help

others in the future who have trauma to overcome.

• If there is an _________________ that you have stuffed and

vowed to keep secret, it is probably one of your ten worst
moments.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

140
 Biblical Insight

"Search me, God, and know my heart; put me to the test and know
my anxious thoughts; and see if there is any hurtful way in me, and
lead me in the everlasting way.”
—Psalm 139:23–24 (nasb)

1. What does David ask God to do?

2. What does David hope that God will expose in v. 24?

3. When David asks God to see if there is any hurtful way in him,
the word used there actually means pain. Why do you think the
author needed God’s help to reveal pain in his heart?

4. How do you think this applies to your pursuit in facing pain?

CORE APPLICATIONS
List out your ten worst moments.

141
 PROCESS THE PAIN

“True abstinence will not be achieved until the wounds are

addressed.”—Dr. Patrick Carnes
• The purpose of identifying these painful ___________________ is
to process them in a healthy manner.

7 Principles to Processing Your Pain

1. Determine the _______________ that you have accepted from
the traumatic experience.

• Worst Moments _________________ Replaying

2. Identify the ____________ that the message promotes.

• Whether big or small, the impact of trauma or dysfunction is

determined by the lie that it ________________ in your heart.
3. ________________ the pain with others.

• Trauma isn’t measured by the size of the impact of the event at

the time but by the __________________ impact it has on your
mindset.
4. Connect the dots of your past trauma to your ___________
mindset.

• You aren’t looking for excuses but ___________________.

5. _________________ your losses.

• People who ___________________ their pain instead of

acknowledging and grieving it typically get tripped up by it later.
6. __________________ where needed.

• Forgiveness doesn’t mean ________________ people who hurt

you.
7. Prepare for the ________________.

142
• Experiencing the pain of your past once again will be
____________________ and can lead to relapse.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

Biblical Insight
"The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to
proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to
the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those
who are oppressed,”
—Luke 4:18 (esv)
1. Jesus picked up a scroll in the synagogue and read from Isaiah,
which was written seven hundred years earlier. As Jesus reads,
he is also proclaiming His purpose. What does this verse say that
Jesus came to do?

2. Twice Jesus uses the term liberty. What are the phrases He
uses?

3. There are two different terms used here for liberty or freedom.
A. “to proclaim liberty to the captives” [release from bondage
or imprisonment]
B. “to set at liberty those who are oppressed” [to drive
someone into a fixed state of freedom!]
What does this say about what God wants to do in your life
regarding your sexual addiction?

CORE APPLICATIONS
Process your ten worst moments with the seven
principles in “Process the Pain.”

CORE PRACTICES
1. C
 ontinue to process your worst moments as others
come to mind.

143
 Ten Worst moments exercise

Understanding your worst moments may feel uncomfortable

and even frustrating, but sex addiction experts agree that it is an
imperative step to finding true, lasting freedom. Dr. Patrick Carnes
says, “True abstinence will not be achieved until the wounds are
addressed.” Sex addiction is classified as an intimacy disorder.
Unhealthy bonding and early attachments can mark a person in
a way that can make them more prone to sex addiction. Because
pornography is so widely available and addictive, today’s porn addict
isn’t as aware of past traumas as the classic sex addict twenty years
ago. Porn addiction is intensified by past trauma, even in lesser
forms.

Whether you have Trauma with a capital T (i.e., being sexually

abused) or little t traumas (i.e., being made fun of repeatedly), your
trauma has marked you in a way that makes you susceptible to
certain triggers, and it is important to face the pain and process
it with others. The first step to facing the pain is to make a list
of your worst moments. One way to gauge a “worst moment” is
to determine certain negative memories or messages that you
regularly relive or replay related to a certain event. This includes
emotional, verbal, physical, or sexual abuse. Were there certain
dysfunctions that shaped your childhood? When you think back on
painful moments in your life, do they cause you great shame? Those
could be categorized as some of your worst moments.

Initially, you won’t be able to come up with many “worst moments.”

Our brains try to protect us from pain by forgetting the worst
moments we have experienced. Ask God to reveal your worst
moments to you and to make them clear. After you have listed out
your worst moments, the next step is to begin processing the past
pain. It is important to understand that this may be a triggering
process. As a defense mechanism, we have trained ourselves to
deal with the pain and triggers related to our unwanted behaviors.

144
Part One: Make a list of your worst moments.
Example: Being rejected or broken up with.

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Part Two: Determine the message and lie.

The first step to processing the pain of your worst moments is to
determine the message you have accepted from the traumatic
experience. Every person will have different messages they believe.
A few examples are “I am sick,” “I am stupid,” “I am ugly,” or “I am
bad.”

Determine the message for each worst moment.

Example: I am unlovable.

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.

145
 7.
8.
9.
10.

Once you have determined the message, identify the lie that the
message is promoting. The message and the lie may be the same,
but not always.

Identify the lie for each message you replay.

Example: If people knew me, they would reject me. I must hide my
true self to be accepted by others.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Part Three: Process the pain with others.

After you have identified the messages and lies you believe,
it is incredibly important to process this pain with others. An
accountability partner, your small group, and oftentimes a
professional counselor are all good options. Trauma isn’t measured
by the size of the impact of the event at the time, but by the impact it
has on your current mindset.

146
Begin talking through the lists you have created above; this should
be done in a few meetings. We encourage groups using the
Freedom Fight to spend time at the end of each week processing
at least one worst moment. As you begin processing with others,
connecting your past traumas and worst moments to your current
mindset is an integral step. Although you may consider professional
help to connect the dots, you can ask your trusted accountability
partner if they recognize which worst moments are connected to the
lies you are believing.

Identify God’s truth for the lies you believe.

Connecting God’s truth to the lies you believe is a powerful way to
process the pain. For every lie you have identified, find a verse that
speaks to you. Write out the truth from God’s Word that you need to
meditate on.

Example: I am chosen and accepted by God (Ephesians 1:4).

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

147
 Part Four: Grieve and forgive.
Part of processing the wounds of the past is to acknowledge and
grieve your pain and loss. The Bible says, “There is a time to weep
and . . . . a time to mourn” (Ecclesiastes 3:1–4). People who stuff
their pain instead of acknowledging and grieving it typically get
tripped up by it later. You should grieve the painful experiences
you endured and also those experiences that you missed out
on because of dysfunction. Acknowledge the loss and grieve it.
The purpose isn’t to wallow in self-pity but to acknowledge the
appropriate pain and loss so that you can bring closure to the
wound and move into the future in an emotionally healthy way.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean excusing people who hurt you. Admit the
pain and possibly the sinfulness of it, and yet forgive. Unforgiveness
and bitterness will ultimately hurt you and keep you in bondage by
keeping you tethered to negative emotions. Forgiving and releasing
those who have hurt you is a crucial part of the healing process.
“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as
God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32, esv). Even though we
don’t deserve it, God forgives us. In the same way, we are to forgive
others who don’t deserve it.

148
149
 THE STOCKDALE PARADOX

Says this:
• You must retain faith that you will ____________________ in the
end, regardless of the difficulties.
AND
• You must _________________ the most brutal facts of your
current reality, whatever they might be.

2 Brutal Facts You Must Face

1. Sex addiction is one of the most __________________ to
overcome.

• It will require the adoption of a new ___________________, not

just a few minor changes.
• God wants to use the ___________________ of recovery to grow
and develop the whole person.
2. Recovery is not a _______________ process.

• It will be more challenging than you think, and it will probably

take __________________ than you think.
• When someone confronts the brutal facts, they become more
committed to real ___________________ and not the superficial
kind.
• _________________ must happen to obtain freedom, but all
changes aren’t the same.
First Order Change:
• An attempt to _____________________ behavior by trying
harder.
• Concrete action taken to ____________________ to solve a
problem.
Second Order Change:

• Required for___________________ freedom.

150
• Core beliefs are _________________.

• Requires you to leave your _________________ zone.

“Healing is a lifetime journey not a one-time event. There is a direct

correlation to the work that people put into their recovery and how
permanent and stable the healing is.” —Dr. Mark Laaser

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

Biblical Insight

“We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we
know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops
strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope
of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we
know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy
Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.”
—Romans 5:3–5 (nlt)

1. How do vv. 3–4 correlate with what we learned in “The Stockdale

Paradox”?

2. What hope is offered in this passage to those in sexual bondage?

3. What promise is offered to you in v. 5?

151
 IN THE ZONE

• In order to live in the ______________________ zone where you

are walking in freedom, there are certain practices that must be
a part of your recovery lifestyle.

• Recovery isn’t just a new phase you are going through to

try to get rid of a bad habit, but rather the adoption of a new
_____________.

• There should be new habits and ___________________ in your

life on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis.

• A ___________________ lifestyle both practices the right things

and reinforces the right convictions that fuel those practices.

Core Anchor Convictions

1. Take every thought __________________.

2. Build your _________________ in Christ.

3. Spend __________________ with God.

4. God’s Word ____________________.

5. Be ________________ with others.

6. Live in God’s ____________________.

7. Pursue sharpening ______________________.

8. Avoid _______________________.

• The stronger these _________________ are, the more committed

you will be to pursue the Recovery Zone practices.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

152
 Biblical Insight

Read Matthew 7:24–27.

1. There are two men described in this passage. How are they
similar?

2. How are they different?

3. The man who heard Jesus’ words and put them into practice
was described as building his house on rock. How do you think
that is similar to anchoring your life with core convictions?

4. A conviction is a fixed or firm belief. What convictions did these

two men have?

CORE APPLICATIONS
Evaluate your convictions and commit to memorize
Scripture to deepen them.
Add activities to your zones of recovery.

153
 EVALUATE YOUR CORE APPLICATIONS AND PRACTICES
CORE APPLICATIONS
Take the SAST.
Ask at least one person to hold you accountable.
Commit to detox.
Lock up your devices to prevent access to porn as
much as possible.
Pick verses from the list to use when practicing
BRACE.
Commit to live in Reality.
Identify what activities belong in each of your three
zones.
Identify your routines.
Make the Great Exchange or begin considering it.
Identify your arousal template.
Commit to regular intake of the Bible.
Identify your triggers and the boundaries needed
to address them.
Commit to not isolate yourself when triggered.
Identify and address any pattern that makes you likely
to relapse.
Make a list of thirty reasons for pursuing recovery.
Identify the sources of shame in your life.
Accept the value and worth that God attaches to you.
List out your ten worst moments.
Process your ten worst moments with the seven
principles in “Process the Pain.”
Evaluate your convictions and commit to memorize
Scripture to deepen them.
Add activities to your zones of recovery.
Have you completed your Core Applications?

154
 CORE PRACTICES
1. Use the FASTER Scale daily.
2. Regularly check in with your accountability.
3. Be completely honest with your accountability.
4. Practice BRACE when tempted.
5. Practice BRACE even without temptation.
6.  Fill out a Crash Analysis after a relapse and give
to your accountability.
7.  Evaluate which zone you are in through regular
check-in on the Fight Club calendar.
8. Address routines with effective boundaries.
9.  Evaluate your progress on setting up boundaries
and closing all porn access.
10. Read the Bible regularly.
11. Practice regular Scripture memory.
12. Continue to address triggers with boundaries.
13. F ace and process your BLASSTED emotions instead
of medicating them.
14. Take your negative emotions to God in prayer.
15. R
 egularly review your thirty reasons for
pursuing recovery.
16. B e aware of getting identity from performance and
the opinions of others.
17. R einforce your identity in Christ through meditating
on the truth.
18. T ake every thought captive to the obedience of
Christ.
19. C ontinue to process your worst moments as others
come to mind.
Are you practicing your Core Practices?

155
156
 SUPERNATURAL
POWER TO WALK
IN FREEDOM

157
 FREEDOM: ONCE FOR ALL

Freedom from Sin’s Penalty Total and Immediate

Freedom from the Presence of
Total and Immediate
Sin
Freedom from the Power of Sin __________________

• Through the resurrection, Jesus crushed the

_________________ of sin, and now He shares His victory with
all who trust Him.

Consider = “to count” or “________________”

• Jesus broke the power of sin once for all, and that victory is
_____________ to everyone who receives Him.

Living in the Power of the Resurrection

• The power of sin has been broken, and learning to

_______________ God in the heat of temptation makes all the
difference in experiencing the power of God over sin in your daily
life.

THE POWER OF SIN HAS BEEN ______________.

• The power of the cross is real, and your faith to consider

yourselves dead to sin _________________________ if you
experience it.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

158
 Biblical Insight

“For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives
he lives to God. So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin
and alive to God in Christ Jesus.”
—Romans 6:10–11 (esv)

1. How is Jesus described in v. 10?

2. How did Ted explain what it means that Jesus died “to sin”?

3. How is this different from the truth that Jesus died “for sin”?

4. What is our response supposed to be as a result of what Jesus

did, according to v. 11?

5. What does it mean that we are to consider ourselves dead to sin,

according to what we learned in this lesson?

CORE APPLICATIONS
Memorize Romans 6:10–11.

CORE PRACTICES
1. W
 hen tempted, meditate on the fact that the power
of sin is broken.

159
 FAITH AND THE PROMISES OF GOD

• God has given us ________________ we need for life and

godliness.
• A lack of ____________________ is one reason many followers
of Christ aren’t experiencing the victory over sin that Jesus has
bought.
• God’s _________________ enables us to become partakers of
the Divine Nature.

Faith + Seven Qualities Related to Sexual Addiction Recovery

1. ___________ - Moral Excellence

2. _________________

• Knowing and __________________ God’s truth renews your

mind and changes your life.
3. Self-______________

4. Perseverance/Steadfastness

• A ________________ to never give up.

5. _______________

• Christlikeness is the ______________ and the goal you are

pursuing.
6 & 7. Brotherly Affection & Love
• Reflects the fact that we need a band of
______________________ to experience the life and freedom
that God calls us to.

Recovery Approach Spectrum

Purely                       _____________ Knucklers

____________ Based
• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

160
 Biblical Insight

Read 2 Peter 1:4.

1. In v. 4 what is the reasons that God has given us His promises?

2. What do you think it means to participate or become a partaker

in the Divine Nature?

3. What do you think is the main thing that God wants from you
according to this verse?

CORE APPLICATIONS
Commit to cultivate these seven qualities in your
pursuit of purity.

CORE PRACTICES
1. T ake steps to practice the seven qualities as it relates
to walking in purity.

161
 THE HELPER

• Jesus is the one who breaks the power of sin, and He desires
to live His life through us by the power of His ________________
_________________.

• When Jesus was on earth, He Himself was led and

_________________ by the Spirit.

• If Jesus Christ was empowered and led by the Holy Spirit, then
how much more do we need to be ____________________ and
led by the Spirit?

The Holy Spirit Helps Believers

- Gives believers a desire and - Convicts believers of sin.
ability to obey God. (Ez. 36:27) (John 16:8)
- Produces godly qualities in the - Leads and directs believers.
believer's life. (Gal. 5:22–23) (Gal. 5:18)
- Empowers us for serving and - Guides believers into all
witnessing. (Acts 1:8) truth. (John 16:13)

• Christ has given us an amazing gift in the the Holy Spirit, but
we must choose to ______________ into the Spirit in order to
experience His help to the fullest.

• When we recognize our ______________________, we become

dangerous for the kingdom.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

162
 Biblical Insight

Read John 14:16–17.

1. How is the Holy Spirit described in these verses?

Read John 16:12–13.

1. What does John say the Holy Spirit will do?

2. In our recovery process we have discovered shame messages

we have believed about ourselves, lies we have lived by, and an
enemy who seeks to destroy our lives by implanting lies in our
minds. Why is being guided into "all truth” important to you in
light of this?

163
 THE SPIRIT-FILLED LIFE

• When the Spirit is in __________________, you also do things

you normally wouldn’t do but in a godly moral direction.

• Just as it’s obvious when someone is under the influence

of alcohol, you notice when someone is living under the
___________________ of the Holy Spirit.

• Be Filled = Keep on Being __________________

• Being filled is a __________________ ongoing experience.

Three Steps to Being Filled by the Spirit

1. Stay __________________ to Jesus.

• When we stay ___________________ to Jesus, the Holy Spirit

will bear fruit in our lives.

2. Surrender _________________ of your life to God.

• God can only fill what has been _______________.

• Jesus tells us that this decision to surrender is a decision we

make ________________.

• It isn’t about you getting more of God in your life, but it’s about
God getting more of _________________.

3. Practice spiritual __________________

• Confessing sin and ____________________ control to the Holy

Spirit.

• Sin must be dealt with immediately because it

__________________ the Spirit’s power in our lives.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

164
 Biblical Insight

“Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be

filled with the Spirit.”
—Ephesians 5:18

1. What two commands do you see in this verse?

2. Ted explained that to “be filled” means to “keep on being filled,

a continual ongoing experience.” How do you think being filled
by the Holy Spirit is comparable to being drunk?

3. How do you think being filled by the Spirit would have very
different results from being drunk on wine?

4. How do you think Spirit-filled living would influence your

routines, triggers, and boundaries that lead you toward sexual
unhealth?

CORE APPLICATIONS
Read the extra resource on the Spirit-Filled Life.

CORE PRACTICES
1. P
 ractice the steps to being filled with the Spirit:
connect with and surrender to Christ and practice
spiritual breathing.
5.
165
 A VISION FOR RECOVERY

• Knowing that recovery is not an easy road, it’s crucial to have a

compelling _______________ to sustain you as you pursue it.

“Having a vision creates energy. . . . When addicts develop a sense of

their true calling, their vision, they have a much easier time staying
sober.” —Dr. Mark Laaser

• What you are ____________________ to is as important as what

you are recovering from.

• A __________________ that will fuel your pursuit of recovery for

the long haul needs to move beyond just yourself.

• You aren’t just ________________ for yourself, but for your

family or future family.

• Recovery can _____ a person forward in their relationship with

God and help them become a more fully committed disciple.

• Ultimately our recovery should be about God and His

__________.

• When you pursue your recovery with a higher ____________, it

gives you a depth of purpose and resolve that doesn’t come any
other way.

• You don’t have to be ____________________ with your own

recovery in order to begin helping others start theirs.

• What was one helpful insight you gained from this lesson?

166
 Biblical Insight

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the
Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in
all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the
comfort we ourselves receive from God.”
—2 Corinthians 1:3–4

1. How is God described, and what has He done for us?

2. Two words that are important for us to understand in this passage

are comfort and trouble. Comfort can mean to strengthen,
and trouble can mean burdens. How has going through
Freedom Fight comforted or strengthened you in your burden
of sexual bondage?

3. What is the reason God strengthens us in our burdens according

to v. 4?

4. After reading this passage, what do you think God would want
you to do as a result of your experience through Freedom Fight?

CORE PRACTICES
1. Clarify your vision for your recovery.

167
 EVALUATE YOUR CORE APPLICATIONS AND PRACTICES
CORE APPLICATIONS
Take the SAST.
Ask at least one person to hold you accountable.
Commit to detox.
Lock up your devices to prevent access to porn as
much as possible.
Pick verses from the list to use when practicing
BRACE.
Commit to live in Reality.
Identify what activities belong in each of your three
zones.
Identify your routines.
Make the Great Exchange or begin considering it.
Identify your arousal template.
Commit to regular intake of the Bible.
Identify your triggers and the boundaries needed
to address them.
Commit to not isolate yourself when triggered.
Identify and address any pattern that makes you likely
to relapse.
Make a list of thirty reasons for pursuing recovery.
Identify the sources of shame in your life.
Accept the value and worth that God attaches to you.
List out your ten worst moments.
Process your ten worst moments with the seven
principles in “Process the Pain.”
Evaluate your convictions and commit to memorize
Scripture to deepen them.
Add activities to your zones of recovery.
Memorize Romans 6:10–11.
Commit to cultivate these seven qualities in your
pursuit of purity.
Read the extra resource on the Spirit-Filled Life.
Have you completed your Core Applications?

168
 CORE PRACTICES
1. Use the FASTER Scale daily.
2. Regularly check in with your accountability.
3. Be completely honest with your accountability.
4. Practice BRACE when tempted.
5. Practice BRACE even without temptation.
6.  Fill out a Crash Analysis after a relapse and give
to your accountability.
7.  Evaluate which zone you are in through regular
check-in on the Fight Club calendar.
8.  Address routines with effective boundaries.
9.  Evaluate your progress on setting up boundaries
and closing all porn access.
10. Read the Bible regularly.
11. Practice regular Scripture memory.
12. Continue to address triggers with boundaries.
13. F ace and process your BLASSTED emotions instead
of medicating them.
14. Take your negative emotions to God in prayer.
15. R
 egularly review your thirty reasons for
pursuing recovery.
16. B e aware of getting identity from performance and
the opinions of others.
17. R einforce your identity in Christ through meditating
on the truth.
18. T ake every thought captive to the obedience of
Christ.
19. C ontinue to process your worst moments as others
come to mind.
20. W hen tempted, meditate on the fact that the power
of sin is broken.
21. T ake steps to practice the seven qualities as it
relates to walking in purity.
22. P ractice the steps to being filled with the Spirit:
connect with and surrender to Christ and practice
spiritual breathing.
23. Clarify your vision for your recovery.
Are you practicing your Core Practices?

169
170
APPENDIXes

171
 SMALL GROUP DISCUSSION

Get in the Fight

1. Ted said, “The first step to freedom is always asking for help.”
What is the most difficult part for you in asking for help?

2. A common lie is that marriage will fix our problem. How have
you believed that before?

3. What are your motivations for seeking freedom from unwanted

sexual behavior?

4. Ted said, “This will be one of the most challenging things you
have done.” Why do you think this will be harder than you may
expect?

The Opposite of Addiction

1. Porn stunts people’s growth relationally, emotionally, spiritually,
and sexually. How have you experienced some of these?

2. How does Rat Park change how we think about addiction?

3. What does it mean that the opposite of addiction is connection?

What does this say about the importance of small groups?

4. The survey of one thousand recovered sex addicts showed that

God and small group were the top two factors for recovery. Why
do you think that people need God and others to recover?

The Faster Scale

1. What would you say the purpose of the FASTER Scale is?

2. Why do you think this tool could be beneficial to you?

3. Which stage of the FASTER Scale resonated with you?

4. Which do you think is most important for you getting the most
out of the FASTER Scale—Trust It, Use It Daily, or Personalize It?
Why?

5. What did you learn about the FASTER Scale from the “FASTER
Scale with the Experts” article?

172
Small Group BluePrint
1. What’s the difference between an accountability group and a
recovery group?

2. Which key characteristic of recovery groups impressed you

the most?

3. Why do you think small groups are so important to recovery

according to this content?

4. Why do you think it’s important to be completely committed

to this group?

Binge/Purge
1. Ted said that the Binge/Purge cycle is not just a moral problem,
but a brain problem. What does he mean by that?

2. What about the Binge/Purge cycle could you relate to?

3. Why is just trying harder not enough to overcome a porn habit?

4. Ted said, “In order to change, the old pathways need to be

replaced with new ones.” According to Romans 12:2, how will
God’s Word help us to replace these neurological pathways?

A Holistic Approach
1. Ted said, “Sex addiction isn’t mostly about sex as much as it’s
about how you medicate the pain and discomforts in life.” How
do you think that sexual highs have aided you in escaping pain
or discomfort?

2. Which of the four areas (physical, emotional, spiritual, social) are

you most interested in exploring? Why?

3. Why do you think that the most successful addiction recovery

programs have a significant spiritual component?

4. Ted said, “Addiction thrives in isolation.” Why do you think this is

the case?

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 Time to Get Real
1. Ted said, “Most men who struggle with a porn or sex addiction
tend to deny, minimize, or rationalize their condition.” How
do you think you have denied, rationalized, or minimized the
seriousness of your sexual habits?

2. Which of the four stages of dependency do you think you are in?

3. Of the four reasons for telling the truth to others, which one
stood out to you the most?

4. At the end Ted said, “The desire to hide and minimize your
condition will only sabotage your recovery.” From what we
learned in this lesson, why do you think hiding and minimizing
your sexual habits would sabotage your recovery?

5. What score did you get on the SAST? What did you learn about
yourself as a result of that score?

Detox
1. From what we learned about dopamine in this lesson, why is it
important to go through a period of detox?

2. Jesus lays out some radical principles for us in Matthew 5:29–30.

What is Jesus communicating based on this passage about detoxing
from sin?

3. Which of the seven steps for a successful detox do you need to

implement immediately?

The Addicted Brain

1. What did you learn about the addicted brain?

2. How does understanding the addicted brain help you understand

what is happening when you are tempted to act out sexually?

3. Ted said at the end, “Part of renewing the mind is training your
prefrontal cortex to reengage when you face sexual triggers.”
Why do you think we would need to train ourselves to do this?

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4. What is the balance between a person taking ownership for
sin while at the same time recognizing the significance of an
addicted brain keeping them in bondage?

BRACE for the Battle

1. How will BRACE help us in the midst of sexual temptation in a
similar way that combat breathing helps a Navy SEAL?

2. What part of the acronym BRACE stood out to you?

3. Ted said it’s important to create immediate short-term

consequences for acting out. What is an immediate short-term
consequence you can implement for acting out?

4. Ted said,”Repetition got you into this addiction, and repetition will
help get you out,” referring to the repetition of practicing BRACE.
How does Hebrews 12:3–4 encourage us to be disciplined in
practicing something like BRACE?

Manifestations of the FASTER

1. How is sliding down the FASTER Scale like a boulder rolling
down a hill?

2. Dr. Patrick Carnes said, “Craziness first manifests itself

as lapses in routines, simple behaviors that support self-
maintenance.” When things start getting crazy for you, what are
your first routines and practices to go?

3. What emotions or behaviors do you most often express as a way

to medicate or numb out?

4. How can Psalm 139:23–24 be a good example of trusting God

with our negative emotions?

The Double Bind

1. What is a Double Bind?

2. How does a Double Bind put someone on the FASTER Scale?

3. To get off the FASTER Scale and return to restoration, we must

resolve the Double Bind. How do we go about that?

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 4. Why is the right decision in facing our Double Binds usually the
more difficult one?

5. What do you think are common Double Binds that you

experience in your life?

Just Do it!
1. Why is it important to diligently practice these truths instead of
just working through the material?

2. Ted said, “The way to freedom is through application and

practice. Putting these steps into practice is where your
freedom is won.” How have you been doing on each of the Core
Applications and Practices?

3. What is the command the Paul gives to Timothy in 1 Timothy 4:7?

4. Why do you think we will need to train, gymnazo, in order to find

freedom from our sexual habits?

Relapse and Reality

1. What is the difference between repentance and regret?

2. What does it mean to live in Reality?

3. Why is living in Reality so important to recovery?

4. Which of the five responses to relapse are most important to

you?

5. What makes the difference in a relapse being turned into a

positive moving forward or setting you back in your progress?

Surviving a Crash
1. Why is a crash site thoroughly investigated after a plane goes
down?

2. How will doing a Crash Analysis on our relapses help us turn

failures into victories?

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3. What else stood out to you about the Crash Analysis?

4. Ted said, “The guys who struggle the most, instead of fleeing
temptation they flirt with it.” In what ways are you still flirting
with temptation as opposed to fleeing it?

5. What impressed you about Joseph in Genesis 39 in his response

to temptation?

Better Together
1. What are the ways that stood out to you in which a small group
can multiply a person’s recovery?

2. Why is others-centeredness important for recovery?

3. What insight does 2 Timothy 2:22 give for how our recovery is
better together?

The Anatomy of Relapse

1. Ted said, “Pornography is not our only coping mechanism.”
What are some of your lesser coping behaviors?

2. What key factor to using the FASTER Scale stood out to you?

3. How have you seen personal craziness affect your slide down the
FASTER Scale?

4. Psalm 119:33 encourages us to live a lifestyle grounded in God’s

Word. What craziness of lifestyle other than acting out in your life
would God’s Word direct you differently?

5. Are there particular “pains” that tend to put you on the

FASTER Scale?

Disclosure
1. Why do you think denial structures must be dismantled in order
to rebuild your marriage?

2. What denial structures will you have to dismantle?

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 3. What are the three meetings that must take place in a
proper disclosure?

4. Why are these three meetings important?

5. Why is a staggered disclosure detrimental to the disclosure

process?

Understanding Her
1. What reason do we have to honor and understand our wives in
this process according to 1 Peter 3:7?

2. How does a woman’s interconnected brain affect her in the midst

of betrayal?

3. Ted said, “The amount of pain inflicted on the wife increases as

you move down the pyramid.” How far down the pyramid have
you gone?

4. Are there any reality differences that you relate to under point
number 3?

Forgiveness and Building Trust

1. What happens if forgiveness is given or expected too early?

2. Why is it important for our wives to be able to grieve before

forgiveness is given?

3. What were some of the components that Ted said would build
trust with our wives?

4. What did you learn about the five trust busters?

5. Which trust buster is going to be your greatest challenge?

A safety plan and boundaries

1. Why is it important for us to help our wives establish her safety
plan?

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2. What is the ultimate purpose of our wives establishing a safety
plan with boundaries?

3. What do you think are some actions your wife needs to see
from you?

4. What are the four ways we can ensure our wives establish
an effective safety plan?

Sex and True Intimacy

1. What does Ted mean that pornography is supranormal stimulus?

2. Why is adding porn to your marital sex life detrimental to your

sex life and intimacy in marriage?

3. How can abstinence and nonsexual intimacy benefit your

recovery?

4. Why is vulnerability so important to our recovery process and

healing in our marriages?

Zones of Recovery
1. Ted said, “If you don’t grow your definition of a relapse, you
typically find yourself justifying these triggering behaviors that
will lead to relapse.” What triggering behaviors do you typically
justify?

2. Ted said, “The single men who learn to connect their acting out
with negative consequences often find sobriety sooner.” What are
some natural consequences you want to implement?

3. We are in the Recovery Zone when we are practicing our Core

Practices and avoiding triggering activities. What Core Practices
have you been practicing well? Which ones do you still need to
implement?

4. How does Romans 13:14 apply to the zones of recovery?

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 The Addiction Cycle
1. How does the sex addiction cycle progress?

2. Ted said, "Most men don’t realize that they have routines that
precede their acting out, but learning to see the patterns is
crucial.” What are some of your routines that precede your acting
out?

3. What roadblocks or boundaries do you need to have to stop

routines and interrupt the cycle?

4. What reality in Romans 6:16 should challenge us to set and keep

these boundaries?

Drivers of the ADDICTION Cycle

1. Ted said, “The root issues that are driving the sexual addiction
cycle must be addressed head-on in order to have lasting
freedom.” Why is this true?

2. Which of the five drivers or roots are most powerful for you?

3. Ted said, “One reason it’s so important to deal with the roots
of sexual addiction is because you will often find other ways to
cope.” What are some of the ways you have learned to cope with
pain, shame, and negative emotions other than sex?

4. According to Jeremiah 6:14, why is it important for us to begin

addressing these root issues?

The Great Exchange

1. The Bible uses the accounting term credit to describe what takes
places between us and God. How would you explain this process
of God crediting us righteousness?

2. Why does someone need to make the Great Exchange?

3. What do you think keeps people from making this decision?

4. How does someone make the Great Exchange?

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5. What is keeping you from making that decision right now?

The Brain’s Reward System

1. How does the brain’s reward system work?

2. How does porn hijack the brain’s reward system?

3. How do you think the brain’s reward system influences what a

man sets his mind on in Romans 8:5?

4. Why is practicing BRACE a powerful tool when we consider what

we learned in this lesson?

The Pharmacy in Your Head

1. What are some of the different chemicals that get pumped into
our brains when we sexually act out? How do these affect us?

2. How does the brain conclude, like Dr. Doidge said, “that real
people are less rewarding than fake people”?

3. From what we learned in this lesson, why are porn users more
depressed than nonusers?

4. How does Galatians 6:7–8 give us insight into the science behind
what we learned in this lesson? How should we apply this truth
from Scripture?

The Making of an Addicted Brain

1. What are some similarities between the tobacco industry and the
porn industry?

2. How does our brain actually become addicted to sexually acting

out?

3. How does hypofrontality affect us in our fight against sexually

acting out?

4. What role does DeltaFosB play in our sexual addiction?

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 5. Ted said, “Strong boundaries and accountability are essential in
the early months of recovery in light of how DeltaFosB works in
our brains.” Why is that?

6. From what we learned in this lesson, how is the brain involved to

the biblical insight of Romans 6:19?

Conditioning the Arousal Template

1. What does a person’s arousal template form?

2. Which description of a negatively conditioned arousal template

stood out to you?

3. How would you describe what your arousal template consists of?

4. According to Romans 8:6–8, how do you think what we set our

minds on will affect the conditioning of our arousal templates?

Extreme Conditioning
1. What is the difference between negative and extreme
conditioning of someone’s arousal template?

2. Ted said, “Conditioning can turn extreme when someone reaches

the point of tolerance.” What does it mean to reach a point
of tolerance?

3. Ted said that through extreme conditioning a porn user can find
himself sexually excited by images and sex acts that go against
his morals, values, and even sexual preferences. What are some
of the potential results from this?

4. Ted talked about the professional who was stuck in his addiction
because of shame from watching child porn. Is there anything in
your sexual past you still feel a lot of shame about?

5. How does Romans 1:24–27 illustrate extreme conditioning?

The Game Changers

1. What were the game changers?

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2. How is today’s porn different from the porn of previous
generations?

3. What are we commanded in 1 John 2:15–16?

4. How are the game changers in opposition of this command for

us?

The Iceberg of Addiction

1. How is sex addiction like an iceberg?

2. How is it going practicing BRACE? What are the benefits

of practicing?

3. Ted said that in order to address the surface issues of our sexual
behaviors, fantasy, routines, and sexualized society, we have to
have healthy boundaries in place. What access to porn have you
yet to eliminate?

4. Colossians 3:23 says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your
heart, as working for the Lord.” How would your recovery look
different if you applied this verse to your recovery?

Rats and Dopamine

1. What did you learn from the graphs about dopamine production?

2. Based on the charts, what does it mean that porn addicts are
chasing the same chemical high as cocaine or meth addicts?
How does that affect your view of porn addiction?

3. How does a porn addict train himself to prefer porn over real
sex?

4. How does porn train young men to move on from one naked
body to the next?

Young Mind, Perfect Storm

1. How are adolescents more vulnerable to addictive substances
than adults?

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 2. What happens to an adolescent’s brain when exposed to
stimulants early in life?

3. Ted said, “The earlier one is exposed to pornography, the greater

likelihood of addiction.” How has learning about the adolescent
mind helped you understand the impact of pornography in your
own life?

4. What does Luke 17:1–2 reveal to us about God’s thoughts on

youth and porn?

Renewing the Mind

1. In Romans 12:2, God says, “Do not be conformed to this world,
but be transformed by the renewal of your mind” (esv). What is
the key to transformation according to Romans 12:2? What does
that mean?

2. Which of the lies mentioned could you relate to? What are other
lies you are tempted to believe that lead to sin in this area?

3. What can we learn from how Jesus fought temptation?

4. How can you replace the lies you have bought into with God’s
truth?

5. What step can you take to start getting more of God’s Word
in your life?

Pay It Forward
1. Of the four areas porn wages war, which is most alarming to
you? Why?
2. Which of these areas of warfare have you experienced? How?

3. Why do you think so few churches address the topic of porn?

4. What do you think of the pay-it-forward model?

5. Why do you think most never finish the program? Will you? Why?

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the book
1. What are your thoughts on the impact of porn on a person’s
religious commitments and doubts?

2. How do you see this as a manifestation of 1 Peter 2:11: ”fleshly

lusts, which wage war against the soul” (nasb)?

3. Which Bible Confidence Builders stood out to you about the

reasons we can trust that the Bible is God’s Word?

4. How can the Bible help in your fight for freedom?

To Steal, Kill, and Destroy

1. How is porn an example of Satan’s strategy to steal, kill, and
destroy (John 10:10)?

2. Satan is described as the “Father of Lies.” What are some of

the lies you have believed about porn or sex that have led you
astray?

3. Satan has lied from the beginning about God’s Word, His
goodness, and the consequence of sin. According to 1 Peter 5:8,
what is Satan’s ultimate intention for us?

Quench Your Thirst

1. What are the two sins in Jeremiah 2:13? What do they mean?

2. How is sexual sin a broken cistern?

3. What does Jesus claim in John 7:37–38? Why is this such an

extraordinary claim for someone to make?

4. How is the water Jesus offers different from the water from the
cistern? Why is this so hard to believe?

Trigger-Happy
1. How would you define a trigger?

2. The two types of triggers mentioned in this video were sexual

and nonsexual environmental triggers. What are the most
common sexual triggers for you?

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 3. What are the most common nonsexual environmental triggers
for you?

4. Why is it important to identify your triggers?

5. What are boundaries you have put up to help you avoid triggers?
What are new boundaries that could help?

6. What are the rationalizations that can keep us from putting up

new and needed boundaries?

Don’t get BLASSTED

1. Which of the BLASSTED emotions are the most common
emotional triggers for you?

2. How does sexual behavior medicate the BLASSTED emotions?

3. Why is growing in self-awareness important?

4. How do our BLASSTED emotions relate to the sexual

addiction cycle?

5. Of the three types of triggers—sexual, nonsexual environmental,

or emotional triggers—which do you feel triggers you the most?

6. How does Proverbs 4:23 relate to this lesson?

Facing BLASSTED emotions

1. Why is it important to learn to face your BLASSTED emotions?

2. How are negative emotions similar to the check engine light on

your car?

3. Which step of Addressing Your Emotions stood out to you?

4. How does practicing BRACE help you process your emotions?

5. Can you think of certain situations where you can anticipate

emotional triggers? Explain.

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6. Why is verbalizing your emotions helpful?

7. How does Proverbs 14:8 apply to this lesson?

Casting your Cares

1. Why is it a blessing when we recognize our weaknesses?

2. What does Paul mean when he says, “When I am weak, then I

am strong” (2 Corinthians 12:9–10)?

3. Ted said, “Escaping the pain isn’t the goal because God wants to use
the pain to mature us.” How can seeking to escape pain keep us from
missing God’s bigger purposes for pain?

4. How do you think you can apply this lesson to your life?

Those most likely to Relapse

1. Which of these six qualities are you most tempted to fall into?

2. What are those lifestyle changes you have been unwilling to make
that, if you are honest, contribute to you staying in your struggle?

3. Why is being real with others so important to recovery?

4. What keeps us from practicing BRACE? Why would this be

helpful?

5. How would you evaluate your commitment level to the process?

Shame
1. How is shame different from guilt?

2. What makes shame such a powerful driver of addiction?

3. Which of the keys to disempower shame are most meaningful

to you?

4. How does being honest and open help you overcome shame?

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 5. How does shame play a significant role in what happened to
Adam and Eve in their relationship with each other and their
relationship with God in Genesis 3?

The making of a Shame Identity

1. What did you learn about having a shame identity?

2. Which of the four sources of shame would you say have been
sources for you personally?

3. How does knowing that everyone can be aroused sexually by

deviant forms of porn help you with a shame identity?

4. What truths from Colossians 1:21–22 stand out to you the most
that combat your shame identity?

5. How can you identify other sources of shame in your life this
week?

True Identity
1. What benefits of living out of an identity in Christ stuck out to
you?

2. In what ways do you get significance based on your performance

or the opinions of others?

3. How does a performance-based identity set us up for shame?

4. What’s it mean to build your identity on who you are in Christ?

5. How does 2 Corinthians 5:17 and Genesis 1:27 apply to us living

out our real identities?

Bo Knows
1. How is Mephibosheth described that would have contributed to
his shame identity?

2. How is what David did for Bo a picture of what Christ has done
on behalf of those who trust Him?

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3. Put yourself in Bo’s shoes. The first time you ate at the king’s
table as one of his sons, what would make it difficult to embrace
this new reality?

4. What makes it difficult to embrace the new identity you have in

Christ (if you’re a believer)?

Living a New Identity

1. Which of the six practices do you most want to practice? Why?

2. How can shame be a reminder that you are off track?

3. How can a small group be particularly helpful in overcoming a

shame identity?

4. How do the verses Colossians 3:12 and 2 Corinthians 5:7

encourage us to live out of our new identities?

Win the Battle of the Mind

1. What does it mean to take every thought captive? How can you
do that practically?

2. Why is it so important what you feed your mind?

3. What are some of your go-to rationalizations?

4. Paul talks about arguments, pretensions, and thoughts that have

become strongholds in our minds that need to be destroyed.
What do you think are some of the thoughts or arguments
that have become strongholds in your mind that need to be
deconstructed?

Face the Pain

1. What is the connection between trauma and sex addiction?

2. Are there certain events or messages that you replay from

earlier in your life?

3. Why does Joe Dallas say a lot of guys give up at this point?

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 4. Why are father wounds so impactful (abuse, neglect, rejection,
or abandonment)?

5. How does Psalm 139:23–24 apply to our pursuit of facing the

pain?

Process the Pain

1. Why would the expert Dr. Patrick Carnes say that true abstinence
won’t be achieved until the wounds are healed?

2. What stuck out to you about the steps to process your pain?

3. What were some of your ten worst moments?

4. As you think about processing your pain, which of these steps do

you feel will be most helpful? Least helpful?

The Stockdale Paradox

1. Why were the overly optimistic the most likely NOT to survive the
prison camp according to Stockdale?

2. What is the Stockdale Paradox?

3. What are the brutal facts that must be confronted about porn and
sex addiction recovery?

4. What would change if you had a “whatever it takes” mentality

with your recovery?

5. What is the difference between first and second order change?

6. How can you make sure that you are committed to second
order change?

In the Zone
1. What does it mean when an athlete is in the zone? Give a few
examples.

2. Joe Dallas was told he had a change of heart without a change

of lifestyle. What does that mean?

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3. How have the concentric circles tool and check-ins been helpful
to you in your recovery?

4. Why is it important that you have strong convictions for your

recovery practices?

5. Which of the core convictions mentioned would you say is your

strongest? Weakest?

6. What can you do to strengthen your convictions?

Freedom: Once for all

1. Ted quoted John 8:36, which says, “If the Son sets you free, you
will be free indeed.” If the Bible promises freedom through
Jesus, why do so many followers of Christ not experience it?

2. How does the elephant illustrate how we are prone to respond

to our sin?

3. Why does Paul command us to consider ourselves dead to sin?

Why is this important to the process?

4. The Core Practice to implement from this lesson is to meditate

on the fact that the power of sin is broken. How do you think
practicing this will help you in the midst of temptation?

Faith and the promises of God

1. Based on this passage, why do you think so many believers don’t
live fruitful and effective lives?

2. Which of these qualities do you most need to seek in your

recovery?

3. What would it look like to “make every effort” to add these

qualities?

4. What are the two extremes on the recovery approach spectrum

that Ted described? How can you maintain balance?

5. What does it mean that “God requires the faith that enables
freedom to also be a faith that diligently pursues freedom”?

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 The Helper
1. Who is the Holy Spirit, and what is His role?

2. What does the fact that Jesus gave us a Helper say about how
He views our ability to live the Christian life on our own?

3. What does the fact that Jesus was filled and empowered by the
Holy Spirit tell us?

4. How are the Yates a good example of how most followers of

Christ go through life in relation to the Holy Spirit?

The Spirit-Filled Life

1. How is being filled with the Spirit like being drunk?

2. Why is it important to understand that the command is

to “keep on being filled” versus a one-time filling?

3. What are the three steps to being filled? Why is each important?

4. How do you think being Spirit-filled will impact your recovery?

A Vision for Recovery

1. Why is vision such an important part of recovery?

2. What are some vision-minded reasons Ted gave us for our

recovery?

3. How would you like God to be able to use you to help others?

4. The Core Practice for this lesson is to clarify your vision for
your recovery. How would you clarify your vision for pursuing
recovery?

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 FASTER SCALE WITH THE EXPERTS

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE THE FASTER SCALE TO SOMEONE

WHO HAS NEVER HEARD OF IT?
A. First, I would explain that for guys that habitually struggle with
pornography and masturbation and generally say, “It came outta
nowhere. I was doing really good for two weeks or three months
and then BOOM! I act out.” Here’s the reality: It is not out of nowhere!
It follows a very predictable escalating pattern. This predictable
escalating pattern is called the FASTER Scale. Men who know the
FASTER Scale can begin to see a relapse coming weeks before it
comes and eventually can learn to stop behaviors, attitudes, and
actions that have led you to relapse for most of your life.

A. It's a self-awareness building exercise that helps you understand

your current emotional state, see a relapse coming before it hits,
and make course corrections in life that keep you in the light and
walking in step with the Spirit.

A. It is a tool that helps you see when you are stepping away from
restoration and toward relapse so that you can identify the cause of
the slide and make the adjustments needed to return to restoration
and avoid a relapse.

WHAT’S ITS PURPOSE?

A. To identify relapses weeks before they happen. To see that it
does not come out of nowhere. To help people see addiction is a
problem with how you process life, not simply a moral problem. The
FASTER Scale helps you tangibly identify areas where you are not
processing life well.

A. The FASTER is basically a tool to figure out what I'm feeling,

why I'm feeling that way, and how those emotions cause me to do
things that are against God (i.e., sin). The tool is not so that I live
by my emotions but rather that I can actually become aware of my
emotions and respond the way God would have me, so I DON'T
have to live by my emotions. It makes me so much more aware of
how I'm actually doing and how I'm doing with fighting sin and how
tempted/vulnerable I really am.

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 A. To help you grow in self-awareness and make small
course corrections in life that, if avoided, contribute toward an
eventual relapse.

WHAT IS SOMETHING THAT YOU EVENTUALLY LEARNED

ABOUT THE FASTER SCALE THAT WOULD HAVE HELPED KNOWING
FROM THE OUTSET?
A. As you become more familiar with the scale, you can discover
major identifiers of where you’re at on the FASTER that are unique to
you. There may be unique behaviors that for you are a identifier that
you are in a specific stage, but this happens over time as you grow in
self-awareness.

A. I’m usually not doing as well as I think I am. I often can think
I’m at Anxiety, but I’m really Exhausted and don’t even know it. So
I would say it’s important not to paint a rosier picture than what
reality really is.

A. Trusting how closely tied my emotional discontent and fantasy life

and sexual urges can be linked.

A. God has made us very complex. The FASTER Scale is predictable,

but it is very complex. You will not figure it all out in six months. The
goal is to begin to learn your patterns. When you start, you will know
Relapse the best. Then you will learn Exhaustion the best. Then you
will begin to see Ticked Off. The FASTER builds so it is easier to see
the stages closest to relapse.

WHAT MADE IT MOST HELPFUL?

A. The most helpful part of the FASTER Scale is having a system in
place to have to think about what you’re feeling and knowing how
close you are to upping your chances of a relapse. It also gives you
tangible information to communicate to your accountability partners
so they can help you process living in recovery.

A. Before the FASTER Scale, I never actually knew how I was doing
or what I was feeling. I just always thought I was doing good. What
has made it most helpful is that now, I’m so much more aware
of how I’m doing emotionally, which then helps me to prepare to
fight sin and pursue holiness. It also really helps in relationships
with people as it has made me a much more pleasant and patient

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person. When I’m mad/irritable, I now try to identify why and
respond/deal with it in an appropriate way that honors Christ. Before
I would just be mad (a lot of times not even aware of it), act like
everything is okay, do nothing about it, and then watch it flesh itself
out with sin in other ways. What also makes it most helpful is doing it
consistently, day in and day out, so I can see patterns and trends in
my life.

A. Using it regularly, personalizing it, trusting that it is accurate, and

making changes when I’m in the higher states of the scale instead
of waiting to act when I’ve already slid down.

A. Stick with it. The FASTER Scale can be confusing at first, and I’ve
heard guys say they didn’t get it until three or four months in. Guys
who have been using it for two years will be able to get so much
more out of it than when they started.

WHAT HELPS YOU GET OFF THE FASTER SCALE AND RETURN
TO RESTORATION?
A. That can vary from person to person and situation to situation.
It is important to identify the cause of the slide (i.e., Double Bind,
out of balance area); after that it may look different how you move
back to restoration.

A. The first step is to voice to someone in your group if not your

entire group (“Hey, man, I’m at Exhausted and am feeling very
tempted. I think it’s because we have finals this week, I feel
unprepared for a presentation I have, and I don’t want to go home to
have to answer all my parents, questions about why I’m not taking
the internship they want me to.”) Once you identify the cause, then
you can identify the Double Bind so you can address it, which will
look different depending on what it is.

A. Recognize where I am right now. The easiest thing is to see it in

Double Binds. And do the hard thing.

A. By identifying the Double Bind and broken core belief that is

driving me down the scale and following through on a plan to move
through the Double Bind rather than continue to avoid it. This often
involves making very practical changes in life, like for me learning
to budget so I can minimize the financial chaos in life and help me
address the incompetency I feel around finances. Financial chaos

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 and a sense of incompetency and failure regularly put me on the
scale. Learning to ask for help with my finances and implement a
budget reduced the chaos and increased my confidence in both God
and myself regarding finances.

A. Checking in and confessing it.

• Taking a nap
• Journaling
• Spending extra time with God
• Working out/running
• Meditating on Scripture
• Making a list of things I’m thankful for

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 purity verses to memorize

r Job 31:1 r Philippians 4:8 r Romans 13:12–14

r Ephesians 5:3 r Colossians 3:1–2 r 1 Peter 2:11
r 1 Corinthians 6:18–20 r Romans 12:2 r 1 John 3:3
r Matthew 5:27–28 r Galatians 5:1 r Psalm 24:3
r 1 Thessalonians 4:3–4 r Hebrews 12:1 r 1 Peter 1:16
r Colossians 3:5 r Matthew 5:8 r Romans 8:6–8
r Psalm 119:9–11 r James 5:16 r Psalm 101:3
r Hebrews 13:4 r 2 Timothy 2:22 r 2 Corinthians 10:5

I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young

woman.
Job 31:1

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality,
or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper
for God’s holy people.
Ephesians 5:3

Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are
outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own
body. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy
Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are
not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with
your bodies.
1 Corinthians 6:18-20

You have heard that it was said, “You shall not commit adultery.” But
I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already
committed adultery with her in his heart.
Matthew 5:27–28

It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid
sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own
body in a way that is holy and honorable,
1 Thessalonians 4:3–4

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 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature:
sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is
idolatry.
Colossians 3:5

How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living

according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me
stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart
that I might not sin against you.
Psalm 119:9–11

Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure,
for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
Hebrews 13:4

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble,

whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is
admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about
such things.
Philippians 4:8

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on
things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set
your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
Colossians 3:1–2

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by

the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve
what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.
Romans 12:2

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do
not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
Galatians 5:1

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of

witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that
so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race
marked out for us.
Hebrews 12:1

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Matthew 5:8

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Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other
so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is
powerful and effective.
James 5:16

Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love
and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
2 Timothy 2:22

The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside
the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us behave
decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness,
not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and
jealousy. Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and
do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.
Romans 13:12–14

Dear friends, I urge you, as foreigners and exiles, to abstain from

sinful desires, which wage war against your soul.
1 Peter 2:11

All who have this hope in him purify themselves, just as he is pure.
1 John 3:3

Who may ascend the mountain of the Lord? Who may stand in his
holy place?
Psalm 24:3

For it is written: “Be holy, because I am holy.”

1 Peter 1:16

The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by
the Spirit is life and peace. The mind governed by the flesh is hostile
to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. Those who
are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.
Romans 8:6–8

I will not look with approval on anything that is vile. I hate what
faithless people do; I will have no part in it.
Psalm 101:3

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 We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up
against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to
make it obedient to Christ.
2 Corinthians 10:5

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 who i am in christ

the word of god says:

• I am God’s child, for I am born again of the incorruptible seed of

the Word of God that lives and abides forever. (1 Peter 1:23)
• I am forgiven of all my sins and washed in the blood. (Ephesians
1:7; Hebrews 9:14; Colossians 1:14; 1 John 2:12; 1 John 1:9)

• I am a new creation. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

• I am a temple where the Holy Spirit lives. (1 Corinthians 6:19)

• I am delivered from the power of darkness: Christ brings me into

God’s kingdom. (Colossians 1:13)

• I am redeemed from the curse of the law. (1 Peter 1:1–19)

• I am holy and without blame before God. (Ephesians 1:4)

• I am established to the end. (1 Corinthians 1:8)

• I have been brought closer to God through the blood of Christ.

(Ephesians 2:13)

• I am victorious. (Revelation 21:7)

• I am set free. (John 8:31–32)

• I am strong in the Lord. (Ephesians 6:10)

• I am dead to sin. (Romans 6:2, 11; 1 Peter 2:24)

• I am more than a conqueror. (Romans 8:37)

• I am a coheir with Christ. (Romans 8:16–17)

• I am sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise. (Ephesians 1:13)

• I am in Christ Jesus by His doing. (1 Corinthians 1:30)

• I am accepted in Jesus Christ. (Ephesians 1:5–6)

• I am complete in him. (Colossians 2:10)

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 • I am crucified with Christ. (Galatians 2:20)

• I am alive with Christ. (Ephesians 2:4–5)

• I am free from condemnation. (Romans 8:1)

• I am reconciled to God. (2 Corinthians 5:18)

• I am qualified to share in His inheritance. (Colossians 1:12)

• I am firmly rooted, established in my faith, and overflowing with

gratefulness and thankfulness. (Colossians 2:7)

• I am called of God. (2 Timothy 1:9)

• I am chosen. (1 Thessalonians 1:4; Ephesians 1:4; 1 Peter 2:9)

• I am an ambassador of Christ. (2 Corinthians 5:20)

• I am God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works.

(Ephesians 2:10)

• I am the apple of my Father’s eye. (Deuteronomy 32:10; Psalm

17:8)

• I am healed by the stripes of Jesus. (1 Peter 2:24; Isaiah 53:6)

• I am being changed into His image. (2 Corinthians 3:18;

Philippians 1:6)
• I am raised up with Christ and am seated in heavenly places.
(Ephesians 2:6)

• I am beloved of God. (Colossians 3:12; Romans 1:7;

1 Thessalonians 1:4)
• I have the mind of Christ. (Philippians 2:5; 1 Corinthians 2:16)

• I have obtained an inheritance. (Ephesians 1:11)

• I have access by one Spirit to the Father. (Ephesians 2:18)

• I have overcome the world. (1 John 5:4)

• I have everlasting life and will not be condemned. (John 5:24;

6:47)

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• I have the peace of God that transcends all understanding.
(Philippians 4:7)

• I have received power—the power of the Holy Spirit; power to

lay hands on the sick and see them recover; power to cast out
demons; power over all the power of the enemy; nothing shall by
any means hurt me. (Mark 16:17–18; Luke 10:17–19)
• I live by and in the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus.
(Romans 8:2)
• I walk in Christ Jesus. (Colossians 2:6)

• I can do all things (everything) in and through Christ Jesus.

(Philippians 4:13)

• We shall do even greater things than Jesus did. (John 14:12)

• I possess the Great One in me because greater is He who is in me

than he who is in the world. (1 John 4:4)

• I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God.
(Philippians 3:14)

• I always triumph in Christ. (2 Corinthians 2:14)

• My life shows forth His praise. (1 Peter 2:9)

• My life is hidden with Christ in God. (Colossians 3:3)

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