MODEL 1
Read and analyse the content of each paragraph:
- What are the parts in the introduction?
- How many main parts are there?
- How many main ideas are there in each main part? How the ideas are
ordered? Block or chain?
- Please analyze each argument to see how it is organized?
Obesity and poor fitness
Consumption of processed and convenience foods and our dependence on the
car have led to an increase in obesity and reduction in the fitness level of the
adult population. In some countries, especially industrialized ones, the number of
obese people can amount to one third of the population. This is significant
as obesity and poor fitness lead to a decrease in life expectancy, and it is
therefore important for individuals and governments to work together to tackle
this issue and improve their citizens' diet and fitness.
Obesity and poor fitness decrease life expectancy. Overweight people are more
likely to have serious illnesses such as diabetes and heart disease, which can
result in premature death. Several research has shown that human’s life span is
highly associated with the amount of redundant fat in their bodyF. Corpulence
may also be the origin or spiritual complexities such as inferiority complex or
social isolation as obese people may feel extremely unconfident to appear in
public, particularly when they shop for clothes or food. Having about ten
kilograms above average, many people in Vietnam can even fall victims to
serious body shaming from their most beloved people and the public alike.
Having said that, obesity and poor fitness are not incurable. It is in fact totally
avoidable with personal efforts. Changes by individuals to their diet and their
physical activity can increase life expectancy. There is a reliance today on the
consumption of processed foods, which have a high fat and sugar content. By
preparing their own foods, and consuming more fruit and vegetables, people
could ensure that their diets are healthier and more balanced, which could lead
to a reduction in obesity levels. In order to improve fitness levels, people could
choose to walk or cycle to work or to the shops rather than taking the car. They
could also choose to walk up stairs instead of taking the lift. These simple
changes could lead to a significant improvement in fitness levels.
Governments could also implement initiatives to improve their citizens' eating
and exercise habits. This could be done through education, for example by
adding classes to the curriculum about healthy diet and lifestyles. Governments
could also do more to encourage their citizens to walk or cycle instead of taking
the car, for instance by building more cycle lanes or increasing vehicle taxes.
While some might argue that increased taxes are a negative way to solve the
problem, it is no different from the high taxes imposed on cigarettes to reduce
cigarette consumption.
In short, obesity and poor fitness are a significant problem in modern life, leading
to lower life expectancy. Individuals and governments can work together
to tackle this problem and so improve diet and fitness Of the solutions
suggested, those made by individuals themselves are likely to have more impact,
though it is clear that a concerted effort with the government is essential for
success. With obesity levels in industrialized and industrializing countries
continuing to rise, it is essential that we take action now to deal with this
problem.
