100 Pun Examples
I'm reading a book on anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!
I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.
I would tell you a construction pun, but I'm still working on it.
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in
his field.
I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
I wanted to be a doctor, but I didn't have the patients.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
I told my computer I needed a break, and now it won’t stop sending
me Kit-Kat ads.
I’m friends with all electricians. We have good current connections.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
I used to be a shoe salesman, but I couldn’t find my sole.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
I’m reading a book about teleportation. It’s bound to go places.
I was going to tell a joke about time travel, but you didn’t like it.
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
I’m no good at math, but I know that two wrongs don’t make a right.
I’m terrible at gardening, but I know how to grow a pun-ny collection.
I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.
I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.
I’m reading a book on the history of glue. I can’t seem to put it down.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
I used to be a carpenter, but I couldn’t find the right board of directors.
I’m trying to organize a hide and seek competition, but good players
are hard to find.
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
I was going to make myself a belt made out of watches, but then I
realized it would be a waist of time.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in
one.
I used to be a banker, but I lost interest in it.
Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn't make enough dough.
I wanted to be an astronaut, but my parents told me the sky’s the limit.
Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
I used to be a teacher, but I lost my class.
Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
I’m reading a book about mazes. I’m lost in it.
Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
I used to be a pilot, but I couldn’t handle the turbulence.
Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
I used to be a magician, but I couldn’t pull it off.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
I used to be a banker, but I couldn’t make cents of it.
Why did the library book go to the gym? To get some exercise on the
shelves.
I used to be a tailor, but I couldn’t make the cut.
Why did the tree go to the dentist? It needed a root canal.
I used to be a pharmacist, but I couldn’t find the right prescription.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? It felt crummy.
I used to be a plumber, but I couldn’t handle the pressure.
Why did the smartphone go to school? It wanted to be smarter.
I used to be a photographer, but I couldn’t focus.
Why did the lamp apply for a job? It wanted to light up its resume.
I used to be a gardener, but I couldn’t dig it.
Why did the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
I used to be a jeweler, but I couldn’t find the right gems.
Why did the music teacher go to jail? Because she got caught with too
many sharp objects.
I used to be a chef, but I couldn’t handle the heat.
Why did the orange stop? It ran out of juice.
I used to be a dancer, but I couldn’t keep the rhythm.
Why did the calendar go to therapy? It had too many dates.
I used to be a carpenter, but I couldn’t handle the screws.
Why did the smartphone need glasses? It lost its contacts.
I used to be a mechanic, but I couldn’t fix the problems.
Why did the painter go broke? Because he couldn’t draw a crowd.
I used to be a lifeguard, but I couldn’t stay afloat.
Why did the belt go to jail? For holding up a pair of pants.
I used to be a librarian, but I couldn’t check out with it.
Why did the math teacher break up with the biology teacher? There
was no chemistry.
I used to be a singer, but I lost my voice.
Why did the shoe go to the party alone? It had no sole mate.
I used to be a dancer, but I couldn’t find my footing.
Why did the pencil get promoted? It had a good point.
I used to be a tailor, but I couldn’t make the right cuts.
Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice.
I used to be a hairdresser, but I couldn’t handle the strands.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It was feeling crumbly.
I used to be a fisherman, but I couldn’t catch a break.
Why did the scarecrow become a successful politician? Because he
was outstanding in his field.
I used to be a carpenter, but I couldn’t find the right nails.
Why did the laptop apply for a job? It wanted to get a byte.
I used to be a teacher, but I couldn’t grade the puns.
Why did the battery go to therapy? It had low energy.
I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t rise to the occasion.
Why did the smartphone go to the gym? To get better reception.
I used to be a pilot, but I couldn’t stay grounded.
Why did the computer go to art school? To improve its graphics.
I used to be a chef, but I couldn’t find the right seasoning.
Why did the book join the police? It wanted to go undercover.
I used to be a mechanic, but I couldn’t fix the engine of puns.
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
I used to be a dancer, but I couldn’t keep the beat.
Why did the tree apply for a job? It wanted to branch out.
I used to be a gardener, but I couldn’t weed out the bad puns.
Why did the smartphone go to the dentist? It had Bluetooth.
I used to be a teacher, but I couldn’t keep up with the curriculum.
Why did the tomato turn to the dark side? It couldn't ketchup with the
good guys.
I used to be a singer, but I couldn't find my pitch.
Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
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