TRIGGER WARNING

This journal engages with deep and often challenging aspects of personal development, such as emotional trauma,
attachment styles, personal insecurities, and the navigation of psychological complexities. It is designed to
facilitate self-reflection and growth.

Please approach the exercises with care. If any content brings up distressing emotions or overwhelming thoughts,
prioritize your emotional safety and consider seeking the support of a qualified mental health professional. This
journal is not a substitute for professional psychological services or medical advice.

The publisher and author of this journal assume no liability for any direct or indirect losses or damages that may
result due to the use of this journal. By proceeding with the use of this journal, you agree to do so at your own risk,
and understand that it is a self-help tool intended for those who are ready and willing to embark on a journey of
self-exploration.

All content within this journal is the property of the publisher and author and is protected by copyright law.
Unauthorized reproduction, distribution, or use of this material, in part or in full, is strictly prohibited without
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Remember to move at a pace that feels right for you and to practice
self-compassion throughout your journey.
 WORKBOOK

INTRODUCTION 2

UNDERSTANDING ATTACHMENT STYLES 5

THE POWER OF YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS MIND 20

TECHNIQUES TO REWIRE YOUR BRAIN 30

THE LAW OF DETACHMENT 42

YOUR SHADOW WORK JOURNAL 51

CHILDHOOD REFLECTION 57

CONFRONTING INSECURITIES 84

105
DEALING WITH ANXIOUS TRIGGERS
122
DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
156
FOCUSING ON PERSONAL GROWTH
172
ENVISIONING THE FUTURE
205
A NEW ERA (CONCLUSION)
 HOW TO HEAL AN
ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT STYLE

“The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide

you’re not going to stay where you are.”

First of all, welcome. Looks like you just You might be wondering, why shadow
became aware of your anxious attachment work? Well, the answer is simple.
style and you're ready for a change, we
love that for you. It's a powerful psychological tool that
helps you to access the hidden parts of
You've basically already completed step your personality, your 'shadow,' that often
one - awareness. So, congrats on that. influences your actions and reactions in
ways you might not even be aware of.
How to Heal an Anxious Attachment Style
is here to help you on the next part of We've designed a series of prompts that
your journey. will make you reflect on a level so deeply,
that you learn new things about yourself.
You've probably never tried a journal quite
like this before, so here's what to expect. Most importantly, we will equip you with
practical tools and techniques to rewire
Together, we'll delve into the origins of your scious mind to help heal your
your anxious attachment style, examine anxious attachment style.
how your scious programming has been
impacting your relationships, learn Before we get started, take a moment to
techniques to rewire the mind, dive into think about what you hope to achieve
shadow work journalling to heal past through this journey. There's no
trauma and finally focus on personal judgement here.
growth and envisioning the future.
Consider this your personal safe space to
Think of it like a trusty friend who’s great be honest and real with yourself.
at listening and has some cool insights that
you've never thought of before. Cool, now that you've done that, ready to
get started?

2
 UNDERSTANDING
ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT STYLE

Attachment Theory

First things first, let's learn a bit about attachment theory.

Attachment theory, at its core, is all about our connections with others.

It's a psychological model that attempts to describe the dynamics of long-term

relationships between humans.

But it's not just any relationship, it's the deep, emotional bond that forms between a child
and their caregivers, and how these early experiences of love and connection influence us
in our adult relationships.

Biologically speaking, humans are wired for connection.

It's not just a feel-good, optional part of life.

It's essential for survival.

In our earliest years, forming an emotional bond with caregivers is vital because it
directly influences a child's safety and well-being.

The child's attachment to a caregiver is a survival mechanism that promotes basic needs,
triggering the caregiver's instinctual response to provide care.

The impact of these bonds extend far beyond childhood.

These formative experiences don't just fade away; they embed themselves in your scious
mind, becoming a kind of automatic programming that dictates how you approach
relationships and emotional situations as an adult.

5
Types of Attachment Styles
There are 4 main types of attachment styles, each with its unique characteristics,
strengths, and areas for growth.

Avoidant Attachment Style

People with an avoidant-dismissive attachment style are uncomfortable with intimacy

and tend to be emotionally distant.

They value independence and self-reliance, often avoiding or downplaying the

importance of close relationships. They may have difficulty expressing their emotions or
relying on others for support.

They often prefer to maintain distance in relationships.

Disorganized Attachment Style

Also known as fearful-avoidant, diorganized attachment style is characterized by a

combination of anxious and avoidant tendencies.

People with a disorganized attachment style may have a fear of both rejection and
intimacy.

They long for closeness but sabotage relationships because subconsciously they feel
anxious about getting hurt or rejected.

They may exhibit contradictory behaviors, such as pushing others away while
simultaneously wanting nothing more than connection.

Secure Attachment Style

People with a secure attachment style feel comfortable with both intimacy and
independence.

They trust their caregivers and feel secure in their relationships.

As adults, they tend to have healthy and balanced relationships, with good
communication, trust, and emotional support.

This is what we’re aiming for.

6
Understanding Anxious Attachment Style

Now, let’s get to the important one, the reason you’re here.

An anxious attachment style is characterized by a deep fear of abandonment.

It’s rooted in insecurity, anxiety and a desire to feel needed by someone.

When you obsess about your relationships, it sends your body into “fight or flight” mode
which sets off all of your internal alarm systems.

The ‘fight or flight’ response isn’t always a bad thing.

It’s actually crucial for survival in life-threatening situations.

Problems start to arise when 'fight or flight' becomes your default setting.

As we’ve evolved, the meaning of fighting for survival has changed.

The brain can't tell the difference between fearing a predator that's about to attack you
and fearing something in your imagination (i.e. remembering an ex partner cheating on
you).

Both elicit the same biological response - all it takes is one thought and it’s like you’re
reliving that experience over and over again.

Don’t judge yourself if this sounds like you; as we mentioned this attachment style is
actually developed based on how your emotional needs were met as a child.

You may have come from a home where you lacked security, had an absent, inattentive
or insensitive caregiver or simply lacked attention and connection.

Maybe your parents were trying their best but were too busy, or struggling with their
own mental health or attachment style issues.

You may have also been subjected to toxic relationships or been treated poorly by an ex
partner. This often leads to an obsessive compulsion when it comes to love and
relationships.

An anxiously attached person will constantly try to decipher how someone is feeling,
thinking and acting in a relationship - so much so that it pushes the other person away.

7
Causes of an Anxious Attachment Style
Now let's try to identify how you developed your anxious attachment style.

Highlight or circle the causes below that resonate with you:

Emotional Neglect

Childhood Roots: Children who feel unseen or unheard unless they "act out" learn to
associate heightened emotions or dramatic behaviors with receiving attention. They
might believe that they need to escalate situations to be noticed or cared for.

Adult Reinforcement: If an adult relationship involves a partner who is dismissive or

neglectful unless confronted with drama, the pattern from childhood is perpetuated.
The person might feel the need to create drama to ensure they remain significant in
their partner's eyes.

Over-Involved Parenting

Childhood Roots: Over-involved or "helicopter" parenting can smother a child's natural

development of independence. Instead of being given space to explore and learn on
their own, these children might feel that they constantly need their parent's approval or
guidance.

Adult Reinforcement: A partner who is overly controlling can reignite those childhood
feelings. Conversely, someone with this background might seek partners who are overly
involved or become overly involved themselves, associating such behavior with love
and validation.

Parental Mental Health

Childhood Roots: If your parent/s were dealing with their own emotional or
psychological issues, it's likely that they were inconsistent in their emotional responses
towards you. One day they might be loving and attentive; the next, distant or irritable.
This inconsistency can foster anxious feelings, as you might constantly be on edge.

Adult Reinforcement: In your adult life, this could make you hyper-vigilant in reading
your partner's moods and behavior. You may over-analyze situations and find it hard
to feel secure in a relationship. This constant state of anxiety can make you more
reactive to the ups and downs in your relationships, reinforcing the anxious attachment
style rooted in your early experiences.

8
Parental Favoritism

Childhood Roots: Growing up feeling like the less favored child can generate a host of
emotional complexities. You might have internalized the belief that you're less deserving
of love or attention.

Adult Reinforcement: This early imbalance may manifest as an internal tug-of-war

between wanting love and fearing that you're not worthy of it. You might find yourself
settling for less than you deserve or feeling jealous and perpetually "second best" in your
relationship.

Economic Instability

Childhood Roots: Living in a household where financial security was a constant issue
can result in stress and unpredictability. Whether it led to frequent moves, changing
schools, or just a pervasive sense of instability.

Adult Reinforcement: You may find that you're unusually alert to the financial dynamics
in your relationships. You might also react skeptically to offers of stability, reflecting
the insecurity that was instilled in you as a child. This ongoing apprehension
perpetuates your anxious attachment as you continue to question what emotional
security really means.

Academic Pressure

Childhood Roots: Growing up in an environment where academic success was not just
encouraged but expected can create a high-stress atmosphere. The drive to meet these
steep expectations can foster a sense of never being good enough. You learned that
good grades were met with praise and validation and bad grades were met with
disappointment.

Adult Reinforcement: This early pressure to excel can manifest as performance anxiety
in your relationships. You might feel an incessant need to "prove" your worth or "earn"
love, driving you into a cycle of anxiety and self-doubt. Even small perceived failures in
your relationship can trigger disproportionate amounts of stress.

9
Parental Alienation

Childhood Roots: Parental alienation usually occurs when one parent speaks negatively
about the other, this can be during divorce, separation or even when still living under
the same roof. It might even be that your parent confided in you and spent time venting
their frustrations about your other parent. This form of burden and emotional
manipulation can severely distort your perception of what stable relationships look like.

Adult Reinforcement: You may find yourself perpetually skeptical of partners or overly
cautious in committing emotionally. Trusting someone may feel like an uphill battle,
and you might subconsciously worry about choosing "the wrong side," just as you had
to as a child.

Sibling Dynamics

Childhood Roots: If your relationship with your siblings was fraught with conflict,
competition, or neglect, it could have impacted your attachment style. Without effective
mediation from parents, sibling rivalry can escalate into a more damaging experience,
leaving you with mixed feelings about trust and closeness.

Adult Reinforcement: These dynamics may play out in peer relationships or even in the
workplace. You may find it difficult to establish trustful bonds or may see relationships
as zero-sum games where someone has to lose for you to win.

Peer Bullying

Childhood Roots: Suffering from bullying, racism or societal prejudices during your
critical developmental years can significantly impact your sense of self-worth. These
experiences likely made it a challenge to establish trust with peers, adding another layer
to your anxious attachment style.

Adult Reinforcement: You may have a deeply ingrained fear of rejection or humiliation.
This fear can hinder your ability to open up emotionally and could make it difficult to
trust your partner fully.

10
Trauma or Loss

Childhood Roots: Experiencing trauma, such as abuse, illness or the loss of a primary
caregiver, can deeply embed feelings of insecurity. You might have constantly feared
another traumatic event or loss, leading to anxiety about relationships and their
stability.

Adult Reinforcement: In adult relationships, any sign of conflict or distance might be

perceived as a precursor to another traumatic loss or betrayal. If an adult relationship
ends traumatically, it can compound the fears originating from childhood trauma.

Busy Parent/s

Childhood Roots: Growing up with busy parent/s can create a kind of emotional
vacuum. You may have been well provided for in terms of material needs, but
emotional availability was often in short supply. This can create a deep-rooted anxiety,
making you constantly seek approval and assurance, which you seldom received as a
child.

Adult Reinforcement: In your adult relationships, this upbringing can manifest as a need
for constant communication and attention from your partner. The moment you
perceive your partner as being too busy for you, it can trigger an emotional response
akin to the anxiety you felt as a child. Even when you logically know that being busy is
a part of adult life, the emotional imprint from your childhood can make these instances
feel like impending abandonment.

Past Relationship Trauma

Adult Origin: Even if you didn’t develop an anxious attachment style in childhood,
adult relationships that were particularly tumultuous, betraying, or that ended
traumatically can contribute to the development of anxious attachment tendencies.

Adult Reinforcement: Every time you enter a new relationship, past betrayals might
haunt you, leading to constant anxieties about your partner's fidelity, honesty, or
commitment. This isn't just a thought; it's a visceral feeling, a knot in your stomach that
tightens whenever there's an ambiguous text message or an unexplained absence. These
constant anxieties can become a self-fulfilling prophecy, causing you to act out or
withdraw in ways that may strain the relationship.

11
12
Signs of an Anxious Attachment Style
Now that you have some idea of how you developed your attachment style, it’s valuable
to have a clear understanding of what an anxious attachment style looks like in everyday
life.

Highlight or circle the signs below that resonate with you:

A deep fear of abandonment in relationships: You might constantly worry that your
partner will leave you, and this thought creates a cycle of anxiety that's hard to
escape.

Overanalyzing and overthinking interactions: Even a simple text message can throw
you into a spiral of doubt and worry, making you dissect every word and what the
real meaning is behind it. This tends to make you obsessively ruminate over the
relationship.

Intense need for reassurance and validation from partners: You often seek external
confirmation of your partner's love and commitment, even when there is no actual
reason to doubt their feelings.

Being overly sensitive to perceived signs of rejection: Whether it's a delayed response
to a text or a slight shift in mood, you might read too much into small actions and
assume they're signs that they no longer want you.

Difficulty trusting others' intentions and loyalty: Even when your partner proves to
be trustworthy, there's a lingering doubt that keeps you on edge, questioning their
motives and fidelity.

Becoming clingy or overly dependent on partners for security: In relationships, you

might feel like you can't stand on your own two feet emotionally. You rely heavily
on your partner to provide a sense of stability and reassurance.

Overwhelming desire for closeness and intimacy: While the wish for closeness is
natural, it can become excessive to the point of smothering your partner or
disregarding their need for space and autonomy.

Jealousy and possessiveness: These intense emotions can arise even in situations
where there's no actual threat to your relationship, causing unnecessary fights and
conflict.

13
Triggers for an Anxious Attachment Style
As an anxiously attached person you may be triggered by a number of things; from
subtle nuances in conversation, to reading too much into a text or feeling ignored.

Your mind is working on overdrive trying to protect itself from anything that might
threaten your relationship.

Highlight or circle the triggers below that resonate with you:

Absence or Lack of Communication: A delayed text or call can make you wonder if
your partner is losing interest, leading to obsessive thoughts and behaviors.

Changes in Routine: If your partner suddenly changes the usual pattern of

interaction or daily routines without explanation, you begin to spiral and overthink
the entire relationship.

Emotional Distance: Even a minor withdrawal of emotional affection or intimacy

can make you feel insecure and compel you to seek reassurance.

Conflict or Arguments: Disagreements can be perceived as threats to the

relationship, causing anxiety about your partner's commitment to you.

Uncertainty in Relationship Status: If your relationship hasn't been clearly defined,

or if there's uncertainty about future plans, it peaks your anxiety and anxious
thoughts.

Social Media Activity: Seeing your partner interact with others on social media,
especially without any interaction with you, can trigger jealousy, as you worry that
they are losing interest in you.

Being Excluded from Plans: Whether it's a night out with friends or a family event
where you're not included, the sense of exclusion can arouse feelings of insecurity
and anxiety.

Observing Past Patterns in Current Scenarios: If you've had previous relationships

where your fears of abandonment were realized, similar situations in your current
relationship can act as triggers.

By identifying these signs and triggers, you can work towards preemptive strategies and
coping mechanisms.

14
Rating Your Anxious Attachment Style
This exercise uses a simple rating system to help you better gauge your anxious
attachment tendencies.

Rate how true each statement feels for you on a scale of 1 (rarely true) to 10 (always
true):

Being left on read or a delayed call/text triggers you

Your partner making plans without you upsets you

You mentally obsess over them

You fear that they’ll get bored of you

Your partner wanting time alone triggers you

You need consistent verbal reassurance that they want you

You experience intense jealousy and possessiveness

You fear that they’ll find someone better

You overanalyze their mood

You have a constant fear that they’ll leave you

Low Score (1-20): You show milder anxious attachment tendencies. Awareness of
even subtle triggers can be invaluable for your self-improvement.

Medium Score (21-50): Your anxious attachment tendencies are moderate. There’s
some work to do to address the answers that you scored high on.

High Score (51+): Your anxious attachment tendencies are pronounced and need
some work.

15
Reflection & Improvement

So, you've looked into the causes, signs and triggers of your anxious attachment style,
now it's time to focus on those areas where you see room for growth.

Pay close attention to where you've rated yourself between 6 and 10 in the earlier
anxious attachment exercise.

For each of these high scores, write down a concrete goal or a clarity you're striving to
attain.

Example:

If you scored high on: "Being left on read or a delayed call/text triggers you"
You could set the goal of: "I want to to work on my anxiety around slow replies
and start to feel secure when I don't get an immediate response."

This exercise will serve as a reference point you can revisit as you journey through this
journal.

It's a way to make sure you're aligning the work you're doing with the goals and changes
you aspire to see in yourself.

What would you like to improve on?

16
17
 THE POWER OF YOUR
SUBCONSCIOUS MIND

Getting Stuck in Thought Loops

Did you know, your subconscious mind is on a constant loop?

You've thought around 90% of the same thoughts today as you did yesterday - this is
your very own version of "auto-pilot".

It's always there, always active, shaping the story you live every day.

Think of it like a program that's always running in the background without you realizing
it.

From your subconscious mind spring all of your thoughts, feelings, habits, and
ultimately, your lived reality.

It’s really hard to break this cycle of thought, especially when you’re not aware of it.

So, what are you thinking about?

The subconscious mind stores all of your memories, beliefs, values, past experiences and
trauma.

If you're someone who has unresolved issues, past trauma, resentment, fear or anxiety,
the likelihood is that your subconscious narrative or "the voice in your head" is mostly
fearful, negative and full of anxiety.

For example, if you've experienced trauma that has lead to the belief that "no one will
ever love me" your subconscious programming will continue to reiterate and confirm that
belief.

Not only will your programming continue to reiterate to you that “no one will ever love
me”, it will look for evidence in your life to prove that it’s true.

From the moment you're born, your subconscious mind begins to store and learn from
every experience, every emotion, every belief, and all the information you encounter and
create your program.

Understanding this is the key to everything.

20
Childhood Programming

We start to establish our subconscious programming between the ages of 0-7 years old.

During this time, both hemispheres of the brain are firing and absorbing everything
around us like a sponge.

This is where we start to become conditioned by our families, friends, schools, religious
beliefs and society.

Through this conditioning, we begin to develop our own personal identity or “self
concept”.

By the time you reach 8 years old the majority of your assumptions and belief systems are
deeply ingrained in the subconscious mind and will continue to affect your behaviour into
adulthood.

So, in essence, all of your ingrained beliefs, assumptions and influences from childhood
are still triggering your subconscious mind today.

You just don’t realize it.

Your childhood programming is your baseline - your mind and body’s comfort zone.

The mind will fight to stay in the 'known' - even if that means living the same stories of
pain and trauma over and over again for a lifetime.

Resisting this programming means confronting your negative thoughts and literally telling
yourself what to think.

We are going to intentionally disrupt your subconscious programming and introduce

new information to free you from limiting and anxious beliefs.

By intentionally changing your thought patterns you will create new neural connections in
the brain.

This is called neuroplasticity, which will help you to rewire your mind and create a new
subconscious program.

Let’s begin by focusing on your self concept.

21
Changing Your Self Concept
The question now is, who are you? What do you believe about yourself?

Let’s dive into the importance of understanding your self concept. Why?

Because how you perceive yourself is the core of everything that you are and everything
that you attract.

Self concept is the story you tell yourself about who you are.

It shapes how you interact with the world and how the world interacts with you.

It influences all of your choices.

You might think that you’re making decisions based on your current thoughts and
experiences, but often, these choices are heavily influenced by limiting deep-seated beliefs
and narratives about yourself.

For example if you grew up with the belief that “you have to fight to receive love”, this
could subconsciously lead to choosing avoidant partners who reaffirm this belief.

We need to figure out what ingrained beliefs are holding you back to start to shift your
self concept.

And guess what? If you stick to it, it takes just 30 days to create a new neural pathway.

Pretty cool that you can rewire your brain, right?

That, if you just tried, you could become whoever and believe whatever you want.

So, what’s the story you tell about yourself?

Right now, your subconscious mind is your inner-critic.

Whatever you believe about yourself is true.

But you can change your beliefs and we’re going to teach you how.

This isn't about putting on a mask or pretending to be someone you're not.

It's about letting go of any subconscious blockages or negative internalized beliefs, it’s
about becoming the best version of you.

22
Your Self Concept
On the next page draw lines radiating out from “My Self Concept”, like a web.

At the end of each line, write a belief or assumption you hold about yourself,
others, or the world.
Be as honest as possible.

Answer the following:

Who Are You? How would you describe yourself in a few words?
Self-Image: How do you feel about your appearance?
Life: Do you believe life is fair or unfair? Why?
Love: Do you believe in love? Do you believe you deserve real love?
Meaning of Life: What does being alive mean to you?
Life's Purpose: What do you think your life’s purpose is?
Opinions: How much do you think others' opinions about you matter?
Life Stage: Are you satisfied with where you are in life right now?
Control: Do you feel in control of your life and decisions?
Expectations: Do you find yourself burdened by others' expectations?
Self Love: Do you like yourself and treat yourself well?
Finances: How do you feel about your current financial stability?
Change: Do you believe you have the ability to change your life?
Future: Are you optimistic or pessimistic about what the future holds?

Once completed look at your Belief Web.

Are there any beliefs that surprise you? Any patterns? Any beliefs that might be
holding you back from fully accepting yourself?

Circle or highlight the beliefs you want to work on changing throughout your
journey.

Your Dream Self

Close your eyes and envision the best version of yourself.

Sit with this vision for a minute and feel it as if this is you right now.
Pay attention to how you look, how you feel, what you do for work, who’s around
you, where you live.

Draw lines radiating out from “My Dream Self”, like a web.
Answer the same questions above, from the perspective of your dream self.

23
My Self Concept

24
My Dream Self

25
Rewiring Your Nervous System

When your self concept is largely negative and you find yourself stuck in a mental loop,
replaying the same stories and scenarios over and over again, there's more happening
beneath the surface than just a "busy mind."

These repetitive thought patterns can actually have a physiological impact on you.

When your thought patterns are negative, anxious, or anchored in past traumas it can
lead to a disregulated nervous system.

What does that mean?

Well, it throws your stress response mechanisms out of whack, making it more challenging
to cope with day-to-day pressures.

These incessant loops contribute to your body's production of stress hormones like cortisol
and adrenaline, setting off a domino effect that can influence everything from your mood
to your immune system.

You’re essentially locked into fight or flight mode, meaning you’re always on high alert;
increasing your anxiety and making those obsessive thoughts get worse and worse.

Your mind is panicking and so is your body.

The subconscious mind clings to the stories you tell yourself, the memories you sit with and
think about and continues to send the same thoughts to you over and over again.

This cycle of biochemical responses keeps you stuck.

Breaking free from these repetitive thought loops isn't just about achieving mental
clarity; it's about recalibrating an entire system — your mind-body network.

26
Awareness & Listening to Your Thoughts
Now that you have an awareness of your subconscious loop, it’s time to disrupt it.

Your internal dialogue is geared towards making sure you're loved and valued, but it has
a way of creating emotional turbulence.

This often manifests as heightened sensitivity to your partner's moods, words, and actions
—always scanning for signs of approval or disapproval.

Your subconscious feeds you lines that you need constant reassurance to feel secure,
which just fuels your cycle of emotional neediness.

Remember, the body doesn’t know the difference between a thought and a real experience.

Every time you think about that fight from a few weeks ago, or a bad childhood memory,
or that ex that cheated on you, your brain thinks it’s happening right now.

Can you see how that’s a problem?

Your internal alarms are always activated and we need to start working on that.

Here’s the truth: it’s you vs you here.

You’re challenging your default programming by interrupting it and sending it new

messaging.

You’re taking control by understanding that you are not your thoughts - crazy, right?

The more you pay attention to what’s going on in your brain, the more you can actively
choose your thoughts.

When your brain starts to hear positive thoughts as opposed to negative or fearful
thoughts, it starts to believe them.

It’s like giving yourself a software update, that loop that you’ve been stuck in for
months, years or even decades; we’re about to change it.

Make sense?

Are you ready to start rewiring the mind together?

27
 TECHNIQUES TO REWIRE
YOUR BRAIN

Let’s take back control of your mind, shall we?

Make a commitment out loud to yourself right now, say: “I am going to start listening
to my thoughts” - this is setting a reminder for your brain.

Now let’s start practicing.

1. Catching & Challenging

The first technique is catching and challenging your thoughts.

What’s something that has been consistently popping up in your mind that is causing
you stress or anxiety at the moment? Write about what it is and what you keep thinking
about.

30
We’re going to use this situation as a test.

For the next few weeks, every time you think about this situation, try to catch the
thought.

It sounds a little weird, but now that you have an awareness of your loop you’re going
to see that your brain runs off on tangents all the time without you even consciously
realizing it.

Once you catch the thought “observe it”.

Challenge it.

Why are you thinking it?

Is the thought valid?
Do you agree?
Where did the thought come from?
Has this thought been on loop for more than one day?
What can you do about the thought?

Interrupt the thought - literally - tell yourself to stop.

Shift your focus to something else and continue to do this as often as possible when you
catch the thought.

31
2. Affirmations
Throughout your shadow work journalling journey we want you to practice an
affirmation.

And here’s why.

Using positive affirmations is a powerful way to influence your subconscious mind.

This is also an amazing way to stop yourself from mentally spiralling; when you feel like
your thoughts are out of control - repeat your affirmation.

Keep repeating it until you’ve interrupted the thought so much that you’ve forgotten it
and can think about something else.

Remember, you think around 90% of the same subconscious thoughts everyday.

When you repeat positive affirmations you’re feeding the brain new information and
creating new neural pathways that will help you to shift your programming.

You can practice your affirmations either inside your head or out loud.

To enhance your practice we recommend:

Attaching a Feeling to your Affirmation

Don’t just say the words, feel the words as deeply as you can;
Visualize how you’d feel right now if these words were true and let that
feeling envelop your body,
Feeling the words as if they’re true right now, acts as a kind of trick to the
mind and body,
The body will respond to these positive feelings by releasing seratonin as it
believes the truth of the affirmation,
Feeling is a major key for affirmations - remember this!

Practicing a Morning & Night Affirmation

The subconscious mind is in a deeply meditative state as you wake up and as

you fall asleep, this makes your brain more receptive to suggestions.
Repeat an affirmation as you wake up and right before you fall asleep.

32
Here are some good examples of positive affirmations:

Everything is working out for me, no matter how it feels at any give point and time.
I am so incredibly lucky and happy to be alive.
I don’t chase, I attract, everything I desire simply comes to me.
I am so excited for what’s coming next.
Today is going to be an incredible day!
I have everything that I want and am excited for tomorrow.

Write down your daily affirmation in your own words (copy to your notes app to
remember):

Write down your morning affirmation in your own words:

Write down your night affirmation in your own words:

33
3. Positive Self Talk
Okay so you’re starting to understand how your words and thoughts are creating your
reality.

Now what about all that negative things you say about yourself and about life in
general? How do you talk to yourself?

Is there something that you say out loud or in your head that’s negative. Some examples;

“I feel ugly”
“I’m so dumb”
“I’m so over it”
“I’m never going to find someone”
“I have terrible luck?”
“Everything is so hard”
“I’m so miserable all the time”
“Why is life so shit?”

Remember, your brain is believing all of these words and it will focus on bringing you
evidence to prove that the words are true.

So, what are 3 negative things that you repeatedly say? Write them down.

What are you going to replace these words with when you next catch yourself saying it?

34
4. Mirror Work Mantra
This one’s pretty simple but something you’ve probably never done.

Every time you catch yourself in the mirror look into your eyes and say a positive
mantra to yourself; something like “damn I’m f***ing sexy” or “I feel incredible today”
or “I’m crushing it today”.

Use words that resonate with you but make sure they are positive.

Remember to attach a feeling to the words.

Even on days you don’t believe it, make it a habit.

Be as outrageous with your mirror work mantras as you’d like - switch it up, keep it
light, have fun with it.

Make it short - make an impact with it.

Write down your mirror work mantra:

Say it out loud when you’re alone and in your head when people are around (we don’t
want them to think you’re crazy).

Try to practice this mirror work mantra as often as possible, it’ll start to become a habit
and you’ll find yourself automatically saying it when you look in the mirror.

You might even start to really believe it.

35
5. You vs Your Phone
When you wake up in the morning, what’s the first thing that you do?

Grab your phone? Thought so.

When you wake up, your brain is transitioning from a theta state—a deeply relaxed,
borderline meditative state—to a more alert alpha or beta state.

This is a crucial time for setting intentions and framing your mindset for the day.
Reaching for your phone disrupts this process.

You wouldn’t let 100 people walk into your bedroom first thing in the morning would
you? When you grab your phone, you basically do.

It sends your brain into a reactive mode, absorbing external stimuli like texts, socials,
and emails.

This can cause a spike in stress hormones and conditions your brain to be more reactive
and less intentional throughout the day.

In essence, you're forfeiting your first moments of the day to external circumstances,
instead of consciously steering them to align with your own well-being and goals.

We know that this one is going to be hard but you’re here to make changes, right?

And you’re probably going to fail some days, but that’s okay, try again the next day.

Here’s what to do on days that you do remember:

Realize that you’re waking up - oh hey.

Consciously stop yourself from touching your phone.
Stay in your bed and lay on your back
Take 10 deep breaths, inhaling through the mouth and exhaling through the mouth
Repeat your morning affirmation as you breathe.
Take a moment to lay in a calm state after your breaths

Then when you’re done - grab your phone - we know you want to.

This is a really interesting you vs you moment. Your mind and body will fight you on this.

The question is - who will win?

36
6. Breathwork
If you ever find yourself in a mental spiral or feeling particularly stressed, you can use
breathwork to regulate your nervous system and redirect your thoughts.

Why breathwork?

Ever notice your breath shorten when you're anxious?

It shortens so much sometimes that it sends the body into shock and leads to a panic
attack.

When your breath is shortened, it signals to the brain that there’s something to fear, like
there's a predator around the corner.

Every emotion is connected to your breath, so if you can control your breath, you can
control your emotions.

When you take slow, deep breaths, you're sending signals to your brain to relax.

Deep breathing activates the vagus nerve, the largest nerve in the body, that connects the
brainstem to all of your major organs and is responsible for regulating emotion.

Stimulating this nerve kicks your parasympathetic nervous system into gear—that's the
"rest and digest" part of your autonomic nervous system.

This counters the stress-induced "fight or flight" mode, dialing down the production of
stress hormones like cortisol.

What you get is a calmer mind, lower heart rate, and a sense of equilibrium, making it
easier to tackle any thoughts or challenges that come your way.

So, the next time you breathe deeply, know that you're doing some instant neuroscience
to get your system back on track.

37
Tips for Breathwork

1. Focus your mind on the breath.

2. When you catch yourself thinking, redirect your mind to the breath.
3. Make your breath slow and deep - the deeper you inhale the more intense the
experience.
4. You can choose to play ambient music or binaural beats during technique 1 & 2
5. Increase the timer of each breathwork practice as you get more comfortable.

Please Note:

These techniques can be quite intense; you will feel sensations in the body and may
feel a strong emotional release - if so, let it out.
Your body will try to fight you on continuing the breath, but that’s okay, continue
until the timer sounds.
If you feel uncomfortable at any point, please stop the practice.

Breathwork Technique 1

Quick Focused Breath:

1. Set a timer for 2 minutes, ensure that the alarm is soft and low volume
2. Sit or lie down in a quiet, comfortable, safe space with your spine straight
3. Close your eyes.
4. Take 3 normal breaths in and out to settle in.

Let’s begin:

1. Take one deep inhale through your nose, let your belly inflate like a balloon, then;
2. Take one short inhale through the nose, up to your chest, then;
3. Hold at the top of your head for 6-8 seconds, followed by;
4. One long exhale for 6-8 seconds through the mouth like you’re blowing out a candle
5. Repeat the breath till the timer sounds

Stay in this state of calm for as long as you’d like

Allow any thoughts or feelings to arise and simply watch your thoughts
Once you're ready slowly open your eyes

38
Breathwork Technique 2

Mouth Breathing Technique:

Set a timer for 3-5 minutes, ensure that the alarm is soft and low volume
Lie down flat on the floor or bed with no pillow, ensure that your spine is straight
Place one hand on your lower belly and the other on your chest
Close your eyes
Take 3 normal breaths in and out to settle in.

Let’s begin:

Inhale through the mouth and into the belly

Without exhaling inhale again through the mouth up into the chest
Let your exhale simply fall out of your mouth with an audible sigh
Repeat this pattern with no breaks.

After your alarm sounds, lay in this feeling for an extended period of time
Allow any thoughts or feelings to arise and simply watch your thoughts
Once you're ready slowly open your eyes

Breathwork Technique 3

When you're feeling anxious or overwhelmed in public try this shortened technique:

Take a second to clear your mind

1. Inhale deeply through the nose into your belly

2. Inhale again up to your chest
3. Hold it at the top of your head for 3 seconds
4. Let go through the mouth like you’re blowing out a candle
5. Repeat 3 times or until feeling calm

39
 THE LAW OF DETACHMENT

Hopefully at this point you’ve learnt some really cool stuff about how your brain works.

Now let’s talk about the law of detachment and how it can help.

The law of detachment is the simple understanding that we are not in control of other
people’s actions.

It's the idea that in order to manifest our desires that we have to release ourselves from
the attachment to an outcome.

When you let go in this manner, you no longer feel the compulsion to obsess over every
detail of your relationships.

This can be particularly difficult for someone with an anxious attachment style.

Sometimes the desire to control is so strong that it is mentally overwhelming.

By letting go of our obsessive focus on specific outcomes, by releasing the need to control
every detail, we free ourselves from the constraints of anxious "lack" thinking.

What is a situation that you need to detach from right now and why?
Obsessing over clemerson cheating on me. Its consuming my thoughts daily. I want to just live freely

And confidently and not worry.

Who is someone you need to detach from right now and why?
Clemerson. I love him so much but I cant make him my whole life. I have to make my life and my

Goals priority. I cant worry if hes going to leave me. If he does I need to have my own life.

42
Recognizing Controlling Patterns
In anxious attachment style, the urge to control often stems from a deep-seated fear of
loss or rejection.

Unpredictability in relationships, leads to behaviors that attempt to take control to

counter perceived threats.

This need for control is a protective strategy, aiming to avoid pain and uncertainty, but
often makes things worse.

Control behaviors are usually a response to underlying anxiety. For example, you might
check and send messages obsessively to alleviate fears of someone losing interest.

Ironically, the more you try to control relationship dynamics, the more anxiety and
instability you might experience.

Who is someone that is acting in a way that is beyond your control right now? How does
it contribute to your anxiety and how do you try to change this person? Is it working?

What is something that is causing you anxiety that is beyond your control right now?
What is going on in your mind about it? Is stressing about it helping?

43
Releasing Expectations
There's a reason why the saying goes “expectation is the thief of joy”. When you have a
rigid idea in your head about how someone should behave, you’re setting yourself up for
failure.

Obsessing over someone else’s behaviour doesn’t change them, it just stresses you out.

When you focus inwardly and detach from expectations you gain more clarity on what
you deserve and whether the person you’re interested in can provide that.

Sometimes, they are capable and other times it’s time to move on (we understand that
this can feel impossible, but you can do it).

You simply can’t force someone to be who you want them to be, it has to ultimately be
their decision.

Detaching from this expectation will allow you the space to understand your emotions
and what’s right for you.

The shift from expectation to acceptance involves embracing the reality of situations and
people as they are, rather than how you want them to be.

This doesn't mean lowering standards or tolerating unacceptable behavior, it helps you to
understand the limits of your control and influence.

44
 HOW TO RELEASE EXPECTATIONS

Ask yourself

1. Is it a Reasonable Expectation?

Expecting your partner to openly communicate is reasonable.

2. Is The Expectation Rooted in Anxiety?

Expecting constant texts and getting upset when your partner is busy, is
an expectation rooted in anxiety and should be detached from.

3. Do You Need to Set a Boundary?

If your partner is not openly communicating, express a boundary.

4. Is it Beyond Your Control?

If your partner continues to prove that they cannot openly communicate,

this is beyond your control.

5. Will You Be Happy If This Continues?

Evaluate if you can be happy with a partner who doesn’t openly

communicate.

6. Do You Need to Release This Expectation?

If it is rooted in anxiety, this expectation should be released.

If you have set a boundary and nothing has changed, you should either
accept and release the expectation or decide whether the relationship is
best for you.

45
What is a reasonable expectation you had in a past relationship that wasn’t met?

Did you set a boundary? If so, what; if not, what should you have set?

What happened when the expectation was consistently unmet? How did it affect the
relationships?

What are some anxious expectations in relationships that you should release?

46
Letting Go
Letting go involves releasing attachment to what no longer serves your growth and
happiness.

It's not about being indifferent or uncaring but rather making room for new experiences
and opportunities that align more authentically with your current self.

Letting go is an act of self love:

Release attachment to past hurts, resentments, and disappointments.

Let go of relationships that are no longer healthy or fulfilling.
Detach from the need for external validation and approval.
Surrender control over the outcomes and trust in the natural flow of life.
Make space for new experiences, growth, and opportunities.

Write a list of what you need to let go of:

47
48
 YOUR SHADOW
WORK JOURNAL
What is the Shadow Self?

We all have a “shadow self”; this is the part of the subconscious mind where we store all
of our deepest shame, regret, denial and desires.

It’s the part of us that we hide from the world. In the context of anxious attachment style,
the shadow may include fears of abandonment, disloyalty and disapproval.

The more we repress these parts of ourselves the darker our shadow self becomes.

These emotional blockages lead to self sabotaging behaviour, anxiety and negativity.

Shadow work helps to access these parts of yourself to experience a release of these
repressed feelings.

What is Shadow Work?

Shadow work is a simple but powerful practice where you answer questions relating to
your childhood and adult life to determine your patterns of behaviour.

It was first derived by renowned psychoanalyst Carl Jung who believed that our shadow
self is predominantly developed during childhood.

Prompts about childhood are integral to the practice to understand where your
behaviour manifests from.

These prompts will help to access parts of the subconscious brain that store your
deepest memories, beliefs and assumptions about the world.

These are the traits that are deeply programmed in the mind that you barely even
recognize in yourself.

As you answer the prompts you will unearth answers that you might not have even been
aware of.

51
The Role of Trauma
Now that you're aware of what shadow work is, you've probably realized that you’ll be
confronting some past trauma with your shadow work prompts.

It's important here to understand the context of the word "trauma" as we're using it.

Big “T” Trauma

"Big T" traumas include events that are generally recognized as traumatic by society.

They're usually significant, shocking, or catastrophic occurrences such as emotional or

sexual abuse, violence, or other life-threatening situations.

Small “t” Trauma

"Small t" traumas might not be life-threatening or as immediately shocking, but they
still carry a significant emotional weight.

They include things like when a child is emotionally neglected, dismissed, confused about
their identity, overly disciplined, limited in expression, ignored, controlled, smothered,
passively bullied or had too many expectations placed on them.

Maybe your parent/s were just too busy trying to support the family, maybe they were
trying their best but also struggling with their own issues.

The terms "big T" and "small t" do not imply that one type of trauma is more important
or impactful than the other.

The impact of trauma is subjective and varies greatly from person to person. Both types
can lead to lasting emotional pain that affect you into adulthood.

Understanding these root causes is crucial for healing.

It allows you to recognize that your coping mechanisms served a purpose at one point,
even if they're no longer serving you now.

It's not about assigning blame, but about understanding and compassion.

52
Your Shadow Work Journal
Now that we've delved into the concept of shadow work, it's time to put theory into
practice.

This section is designed to help you explore your 'shadow' through a series of prompts.

Each set of prompts focuses on a different aspect of your relationship and personal
history. We’ll deep dive the following:

1. Childhood Reflection
2. Confronting Insecurities
3. Identifying Anxious Triggers
4. Dating, Sex & Relationships
5. Focusing on Personal Growth
6. Envisioning the Future

Remember, shadow work is a personal and often emotional process.

It's okay to feel uncomfortable at times.

That discomfort is a sign that you're pushing your boundaries and growing.

53
Tips For Shadow Work Journalling
Create a safe space: Find a quiet and comfortable space where you can focus on
your thoughts and emotions without distractions. Set up your space so that you feel
calm and safe.

Write Freely: This journal is a judgement-free zone. Let your thoughts flow freely
on the pages. Don't worry about sounding 'correct' or 'proper'. Just write what feels
right for you, in your own voice.

Choose prompts that resonate with you: If they make you feel uncomfortable then
they're usually the ones you should answer.

Focus on the Details: Go into as much detail as you can when writing your answers

Don’t hold back: This journal is just for you, there should be no shame or fear when
practicing. You don't have to share it with anyone unless you want to. It's a safe
container for your thoughts, emotions, dreams, fears, and hopes.

No Wrong Answers: In this journal, every answer is the right one because it's yours.
Your experiences, your feelings, your perspectives – they all matter. Each prompt is
an invitation for self-exploration, not a test.

Allow emotions to surface: If you feel any intense emotions bubbling let them out!

Embrace Creativity: Feel free to use different forms of creative expression. If words
don't feel sufficient, you can draw, sketch, doodle, use colors, write poems, or even
create a collage. This journal is your canvas.

Consistency and Flexibility: You can practice over days, weeks or months. Aim for
consistency, but don't stress if life gets hectic and you miss a day or two. The
important thing is to come back when you can. If you want to spend more time on a
particular exercise, alter the question or skip one that doesn't resonate, that's
perfectly fine. This journey is about you and should be adapted to your rhythm.

Be kind to yourself: if it feels overwhelming take a break.

54
 CHILDHOOD REFLECTION

Shadow Work & Your Inner Child

Your shadow work journey starts with some deep childhood reflection. This is going to
help you understand where your anxious patterns of behavior started.

Your inner child is that part of your psyche that still reacts and feels like the child you
once were.

It carries your experiences, memories, and emotions from your early years.

As we grow older, many of us suppress this part of ourselves to fit into societal norms
and expectations, leading to unaddressed emotional turmoil that can have a significant
impact on our lives.

Shadow work is the process of acknowledging, understanding, and healing this hidden
part of yourself.

It involves addressing the unmet needs, unrecognized desires, and unresolved emotions of
your inner child.

By engaging in this profound self-reflection process, you can identify the origins of your
fears, insecurities, and patterns of behavior that may be holding you back.

Shadow work can help us understand these experiences, see how they shaped our
attachment styles, and allow us to heal and move towards a healthier way of relating to
others.

We'll help you bring light to your shadow, giving it the attention, love, and understanding
it needs to heal.

Through this healing, you can start reshaping your fears, releasing your attachment to
certain outcomes, and begin embracing self love.

Ready to get started?

57
 CHILDHOOD REFLECTION
As a child who was your closest example of love?

My mom

What did you think of this relationship growing up? Write as if you were
answering as your child self.
My mama was my best friend. She was selfless and worked so hard to make our lives better

What do you think of this relationship as an adult?

Shes still my best friend she still is so selfless and giving

58
 CHILDHOOD REFLECTION
Who was the first person you felt clingy to as a child and why did you
cling to them?

My mom. She used to work a lot and my grandparents watched me. I felt my safest with her.

How did this person treat you?

She reassured me and talked to me a lot but was offen also very tired and stressed

Do you remember what triggered your clinginess?

When she would leave.

59
 CHILDHOOD REFLECTION
How did your family communicate and express love as
a child? Was your house warm/cold?
Warm but also some coldness

Do you feel like you needed more of something? If so, what and why?

Do you think this still affects you as an adult? If so, why?

60
 CHILDHOOD REFLECTION
What beliefs about love and relationships did your parent/s show or
teach you as child?

Do you share these beliefs about love as an adult? Why/why not?

Can you pinpoint how this might have affected your past relationships?

61
 CHILDHOOD REFLECTION
Were there ever times when you felt like you had to hide or change parts of
yourself from your family? What were they?

Are you still hiding parts of yourself? If so, what and why?

What would you say to your childhood self about these parts of you?

62
 CHILDHOOD REFLECTION
When you think about your bond with you mother/mother figure, what stands
out? How did you feel about her as a child?

Can you see any of her traits in you now? What are they? Are they good, bad
or both? How do you feel about her as an adult?

63
 CHILDHOOD REFLECTION
When you think about your bond with your father/father figure, what stands
out? How did you feel about him as a child?

Can you see any of his traits in you now? What are they?
Are they good, bad or both? How do you feel about him as an adult?

64
 CHILDHOOD REFLECTION
Did you have an anxious parent? If so, how do you think their anxiety
affected you as a child?

Did you pick up any of these patterns of behavior as a child? If so, what?

Can you recognize any of these patterns in you now? If so, what?

65
 CHILDHOOD REFLECTION
Was there a time during your childhood that you felt rejected by
someone who you loved? Who was it and what did they do?

How did you respond as a child? Did it change you?

How do you respond to rejection now? What happens inside your head? Think of
a specific moment.

66
 CHILDHOOD REFLECTION
Did your parent/s openly discuss stresses or complaints (relationship, financial,
family)? What do you remember them talking about in front of you?

Did this way of thinking rub off on you? Explain why/ why not. Does it need a
change?

67
 CHILDHOOD REFLECTION
What role did you tend to take on within your family? Who were you to your
parent/s and/or sibling/s?

Do you find yourself slipping into this same role in relationships? What’s an
example and is it good or bad?

68
 CHILDHOOD REFLECTION
Reflect on what was your most traumatic experience as a child.
What happened?

How did this make you feel about yourself? Did it change you?

How do you think this affects you as an adult? Can you identify any anxiety or
fear that stems from this experience?

69
 CHILDHOOD REFLECTION
How did your childhood self cope with feelings of anxiety? Did you have
any strategies or comforting habits?

Do you still do any of these as an adult? If so, do they help or make it worse?

70
 CHILDHOOD REFLECTION
Take some time to draw something that your childhood self used to draw and
connect with that version of you.

71
 CHILDHOOD REFLECTION
What was one strong belief that you had as a child that you were wrong about?

What changed your mind?

Have you fully released this belief or do you think it still lingers? Why?

72
 CHILDHOOD REFLECTION
Did you rely heavily on one parent or feel coddled by them or did you crave a
parent/s attention who didn’t give it to you? Explain.

How did this relationship impact the way you look at closeness in
relationships?

73
 CHILDHOOD REFLECTION
What were your parent/s romantic relationship/s like? How did they
treat themselves and others?

How did this affect you?

Do you see any of the same patterns in your relationships?

74
 CHILDHOOD REFLECTION
Were you ever teased or bullied about your physical appearance or personality?
If so, what happened?

How did this affect you as a child? Did it change you?

Do you think this still affects you? Why?

75
CHILDHOOD REFLECTION
What is something you needed to hear as a child?

76
 CHILDHOOD REFLECTION
If you have/want children of your own, what are some things from your
upbringing that you’d like to do for your children?

What are the things you’d like to change for their upbringing?

77
 CHILDHOOD REFLECTION
Write a letter to your mother/mother figure about your childhood, what do
you want them to know about how you felt as a child?

Write a letter to your father/father figure about your childhood, what do

you want them to know about how you felt as a child?

78
 CHILDHOOD REFLECTION
Imagine meeting your 8 year old self. What advice would you give them for the
coming years? Start with *dear your name*.

79
 CHILDHOOD REFLECTION
If your childhood self could see you now, what would they think? Would they be
surprised at who you have become? Why?

What would your childhood self want for you? Write in their tone of voice.

80
 CHILDHOOD REFLECTION
What anxious attachment style patterns in your relationships can you identify
that you developed during childhood?

What do you think you need to work on moving forward?

81
 CONFRONTING INSECURITIES
The Spotlight Effect

Ever walked into a room and felt like all eyes are on you—and not in a good way?

Ever obsessed over a tiny mistake you made or get that weird body jolt when you think
about something cringey that you said?

You're not alone, but you're also probably overestimating how much attention people are
actually paying to you.

This is called the "Spotlight Effect." The Spotlight Effect is this sense that everyone is
thinking about and judging you.

You are the centre of your world - true. But here's the eye-opening truth: most people are
too wrapped up in their own worlds to be thinking about you.

Understanding the Spotlight Effect can be liberating. Imagine the amount of emotional
energy you could save by not fussing over what people think.

It's not about becoming careless or insensitive; it's about freeing yourself from the
bondage of external judgments.

By recognizing that you're not the star of everyone else's show, you unshackle yourself
from unnecessary stress and social anxiety.

Do whatever you want, be whoever you want. Everyone is so caught up in their own lives
that not giving a f*ck really is the key.

What’s something that you’re “too embarrassed” do and why? What are you afraid of?
How can you work towards trying it?

84
 CONFRONTING INSECURITIES
Draw lines radiating from the circle listing things you feel insecure about.
When you’re done scribble all over the page.

Insecurities

85
 CONFRONTING INSECURITIES
Write down a list of physical features you don’t like about yourself and the
one's that you love.

Don’t Like

Love

86
 CONFRONTING INSECURITIES
Write down a list of personality traits you don’t like about yourself and the one's
that you love.

Don’t Like

Love

87
 CONFRONTING INSECURITIES
How can you work on the things that you listed that you “don’t like” about
yourself?

What are some things in the list that you can’t change and therefore you need
to accept and let go of?

88
 CONFRONTING INSECURITIES
Are you a people pleaser in relationships?
Explain why you people please?

Have you sacrificed your beliefs, feelings or desires to please others? If so, why?

Do you think people pleasing serves you? How can you start to set boundaries
and believe in your self worth?

89
CONFRONTING INSECURITIES
What is the biggest lie you tell about yourself in relationships?

What truth are you trying to avoid?

Do you fear people will leave if they truly know you? If so, why?

90
 CONFRONTING INSECURITIES
Have you ever been in a codependent relationship? Why did you feel co-
dependant? Explain what goes through your mind in this kind of relationship?

What is it about love that makes you feel co-dependent? What feeling do you get
from a partner that you can’t get from yourself?

91
 CONFRONTING INSECURITIES
Consider a time when your anxious attachment led you to overlook your own
needs and put someone else before you. What happened? Tell the story.

What boundaries should you have set?

What will you do differently next time?

92
CONFRONTING INSECURITIES
How would an ex partner describe your level of neediness?

What do you think was reasonable and what do you think was
unreasonable about your needs in the relationship?

93
 CONFRONTING INSECURITIES
What’s a negative thought about yourself that replays in your mind?
Why do you think it?

How is this thought holding you back or increasing anxiety?

Is this thought real or are you just stuck in a subconscious loop? How can you
challenge it? What are you going to replace this thought with this week?

94
 CONFRONTING INSECURITIES
If you could let go of one insecurity right now,
which one would it be and why?

Why do you struggle to let this go?

Ask yourself, can you do anything to change it, if so, what? If not, is it something
you need to accept and let go of? If so, how?

95
 CONFRONTING INSECURITIES
Can you think of a time when you projected your insecurities in a relationship?
What did you do and how did the situation play out?

What do you think was the underlying fear in the relationship?

How can you let this insecurity go for future relationships?

96
 CONFRONTING INSECURITIES
Why do you fear partners’ leaving? Is it about the type of partner you choose or
is it about your underlying fears and insecurities?

Do you think you’re worthy of love? Why?

Can you find happiness and love within yourself before jumping into your next
relationship? Why/Why not?

97
 CONFRONTING INSECURITIES
Do you often find yourself stuck in situationships/casual relationships? Who was
the last person you were in this kind of relationship with and what happened?

Did you set boundaries in the relationship? If so, what, if not, why not?

How does this kind of relationship make you feel? Will you accept something
like this again in the future? Why/why not?

98
 CONFRONTING INSECURITIES
Why do you fear being alone?

Do you like yourself? Why/why not?

Do you need to get to know yourself more? If so, what do you want to learn?

99
CONFRONTING INSECURITIES
What’s something you’ve been too afraid to say out loud?

100
 CONFRONTING INSECURITIES
How have you grown and changed as a person in the last 5 years? What’s
something that has made you proud?

101
 CONFRONTING INSECURITIES
Imagine meeting your 16 year old self. What advice would you give them
about your insecurities? Start with dear *your name*.

102
DEALING WITH ANXIOUS TRIGGERS

Your Circle of Control

1. Think of all the things that are making you feel anxious right now.
2. Inside the circle write down all of the things that are within your control.
3. Outside of the circle write down all of the things you have no control over.

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 DEALING WITH ANXIOUS TRIGGERS
Inside your circle: what do you want to do with all the things within your
control? What actions do you need to take?

Outside your circle: Remember the law of detachment. What can you do to let go
of everything that falls outside of your circle?

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DEALING WITH ANXIOUS TRIGGERS
Recall a moment when you felt like you were 'too much' for someone.
Who was it and what happened?

How did that impact your self-esteem? How did you change?

How can you remind yourself of your worth?

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DEALING WITH ANXIOUS TRIGGERS
Think about a time when you found it difficult to express your needs for fear of
rejection. Who was it with and what happened?

What held you back?

Was this valid or should you have set a boundary?

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DEALING WITH ANXIOUS TRIGGERS
Describe a moment when your anxiety was triggered by a seemingly small or
insignificant thing that happened in a relationship.

Why do you think you had such a strong reaction?

What would you do differently now?

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DEALING WITH ANXIOUS TRIGGERS
When has your need for constant connection or reassurance led to conflict or
tension in a relationship? What happened?

How did they respond to this expectation?

What would you differently now?

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 DEALING WITH ANXIOUS TRIGGERS
How do you react when someone leaves you on read or doesn't respond quickly
to a text message? Can you write down exactly what goes through your mind?

How can you detach from the fear that you’re being abandoned? What can you
do to remind yourself to let go next time you’re left on read?

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DEALING WITH ANXIOUS TRIGGERS
Are there certain people in your life right now who tend to trigger your anxiety
more frequently? Who are they? What do they do?

Why do you think they trigger you?

How can you take steps to either set a boundary or detach?

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DEALING WITH ANXIOUS TRIGGERS
Scribble, draw, paint, or even just make marks on the page to represent
your pain - it can be cathartic to get it out physically.

113
 DEALING WITH ANXIOUS TRIGGERS
Describe a time when your anxiety was triggered by something positive happening
to your partner. How did you react?

What was the underlying fear?

Is this a reasonable fear or one you should detach from?

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 DEALING WITH ANXIOUS TRIGGERS
How does social media impact your anxiety levels? How does it trigger you in
relationships? Have a little rant.

Why do you think this triggers you?

Do you think most of it is real? How can you detach from socials being a trigger?

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 DEALING WITH ANXIOUS TRIGGERS
Think about a time when your anxiety led you to perceive a situation in your
relationship that was worse than it was. What happened and how did it play out?

What would you do differently now?

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DEALING WITH ANXIOUS TRIGGERS
How do you usually react when you feel someone pulling away from you?
Explain a specific example.

Did your reaction help or make the situation worse?

How do you wish you could respond?

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DEALING WITH ANXIOUS TRIGGERS
Write about a time when your fear of abandonment led you to act in a way
you now regret. Tell the whole story.

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DEALING WITH ANXIOUS TRIGGERS
What have you learned so far about your anxious triggers? How has
learning about detachment helped?

What have you decided to consciously let go of to become a better version of

you?

What’s a small victory you’ve had redirecting your thoughts? How is it

feeling?

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 DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
When’s the last time you developed an unhealthy obsession with a
relationship? Who was it, why were you so into them?

Why do you think you got so attached? Did they reciprocate your love? Why/why
not?

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 DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
When was the last time you felt rejected by someone? Who was it and what
happened?

How did this affect the way you now act in relationships?

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 DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
How would you describe your emotional needs? Have past partners ever met
them? Why/why not?

Do you think your expectations are reasonable?

Is there a boundary that needs to be set or is there an anxious trigger that needs
to be worked on?

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 DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
What goes through your head about someone on a first date? What are you trying
to assess? What happens in your mind before, during and after the date?

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 DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
What’s the worst thing you’ve done to someone in a relationship? Explain in
detail what happened.

What triggered this? What would your honest reaction have been if someone
did that to you?

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 DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
How do you choose your partners? What do they need to bring to the table
for you to love and respect them?

Who is an ex partner that continued to treat you poorly that you kept going
back to? Why did you keep going back?

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 DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
What are some recurring themes or patterns in your relationships? Write about
specific pattern examples that you see with different partners.

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 DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
Reflect on a time you felt anxious because a partner was spending time with
other friends or family. What happened?

Why do you think this triggered you? Was it reasonable?

How did this end up affecting the relationship?

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DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
What kind of behavior do you exhibit when you feel threatened or
overwhelmed in a relationship? Write a specific story.

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 DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
Write down everything you loved and everything you hated about being with
your ex. Don’t be shy.

Loved

Hated

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 DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
When is the last time you let someone treat you poorly without saying anything?
What happened?

Why did you allow them to treat you this way? How did it make you feel?

What would you do differently now?

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 DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
Do you feel shameful about any of your past exes?
Why?

Write a short letter forgiving yourself for staying in this relationship and let any
shameful feelings go.

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 DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
What was your biggest heartbreak? What happened? Write the story of how
it started and how it ended.

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 DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
Have you let go of your biggest heartbreak?
Why/why not?

Is it serving you to hold onto this relationship? Why/why not?

Write a letter forgiving yourself for holding onto this relationship for so long.
Start with *dear your name*.

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DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
What is something you’ve done in a past relationship that you knew
was wrong?

How did your partner respond? What was the result?

What would you do differently now?

136
DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
Have you ever been cheated on in a relationship? If so, why
do you think this happened? Do you blame yourself? Why?

How did it change you?

How can you trust again?

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DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
What relationship did you feel most insecure about? What was your
dynamic like together?

What made you feel insecure?

How do you deserve to be treated?

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 DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
Imagine meeting your 16 year old self. What would you tell them about sex, what
advice would you give them? Write it as if you’re talking to them.

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 DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
What makes you feel jealous? Write everything down,
even if you know it feels wrong - don't hold back

Why do you think this makes you feel jealous? What can you detach from to
feel more secure in your next relationship?

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DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
Write a letter to an ex that hurt you - say exactly how you feel without
holding anything back.

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 DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
What aspects of sex and intimacy would you like to explore or experience
more of?

What’s a secret desire you have? Write about it in detail.

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 DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
How do you perceive a partner's sexual desires? Do you feel used? Do you feel
good about sex? Do they satisfy you?

What can you do to improve communication about sex?

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 DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
Do you use casual sex as a distraction? When was the last time you did this?

How do you feel immediately after the sex?

What do you need to feel good after sex? How can you set that boundary?

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DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
Reflect on your most fulfilling sexual experience. What made it so
memorable and satisfying? Tell the story from start to finish.

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DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
Have you ever felt abandoned by a partner? What happened?

How did this affect your ability to trust and form new relationships?

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 DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
Describe moments of deep loneliness. What happens inside your head when
you’re alone? How do you cope? Write out what you do.

Are these coping mechanisms healthy? What can you do to find happiness
when you’re alone?

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 DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
What was the biggest relationship drama that you had? Did you pursue the
drama further? Explain the story in detail from your perspective.

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 DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
Now explain the story from their perspective.

Did your perspective change after writing two versions? What would you do
differently in this situation?

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 DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
Do you have feelings for someone right now? Who is it? What
do you love about them?

Do they treat you well? How does it feel to be around them, to talk to them?

What about this relationship is triggering you right now, how can you set a
boundary or detach from anxious expectations?

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 DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
Write about what you won’t ever compromise on again and what boundaries
you will set in future relationships.

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DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS
Write a goodbye letter to your ex. Let it all out. Let it go.

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DATING, SEX & RELATIONSHIPS

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 FOCUSING ON PERSONAL GROWTH

Decentering Romance

We’ve learned a lot about how your anxious attachment affects your relationships.

Now it’s time to focus on you and your personal growth.

What do you want outside of romance?

How can we decentre romantic relationships and focus inwardly?

Ask yourself; do you put your life on hold because you’re waiting for that ‘special
someone’ to experience life with? For example; travelling, moving or trying new things.

A huge problem for anxious attachers is that you crave validation and when you’re not
getting it you’re constantly on the chase.

We need to change that.

If you’re happy within yourself you won’t accept anyone that doesn’t add value to your
life.

If you’re unhappy within yourself, you will accept bare minimum validation from someone
because you are compensating for something you lack within.

A lot of the time fear and insecurity is to blame for accepting less than your worth.

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t date or that you won’t have an amazing relationship, it
just means that you will go into your next relationship knowing your worth, as the best
version of yourself.

When you see the best in yourself, you will naturally align with a partner that reflects
that.

Now, it’s time to ask; what makes you happy? What excites you? How can you invest in
becoming the best version of you?

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 FOCUSING ON PERSONAL GROWTH
Every time you try something outside of your comfort zone you’ll transform and
grow. What’s something that scares you that you’d really like to try?

What has held you back from trying it?

What are some steps you can take toward trying it?

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FOCUSING ON PERSONAL GROWTH
Honestly write down areas where you could improve or change for your own
well-being, not just for a relationship.

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FOCUSING ON PERSONAL GROWTH
If you could change one thing about your self-perception, what would it
be and why?

How can you start working toward this change?

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FOCUSING ON PERSONAL GROWTH
Design your ultimate 'glow-up' plan. What changes would you implement in
your lifestyle to feel more confident?

What are the steps you’re going to take to get there?

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 FOCUSING ON PERSONAL GROWTH
Consider your social life. How can you improve or expand your connections and
social support? Even if it’s out of your comfort zone.

Can you reach out to anyone? If so, who and why? If not how can you
meet new people?

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FOCUSING ON PERSONAL GROWTH
What can you do to get to know yourself and what you want more? What’s
something you used to enjoy that you stopped doing?

Is there something you’d be scared to do alone? What is it and how can you
do it scared?

What’s something you’ve enjoyed doing alone recently?

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 FOCUSING ON PERSONAL GROWTH
What is a hobby or interest from your childhood that you used to love? Why did
you love it?

How can you engage in it again as a creative outlet? What’s something

you’d love to do to express yourself?

How can you spend more time doing things that you love? What are they?

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FOCUSING ON PERSONAL GROWTH
In what ways do you depend on others for your happiness? What qualities
do you enjoy in others?

In what ways can you cultivate these qualities and happiness within yourself?

164
FOCUSING ON PERSONAL GROWTH
Write a script for that difficult conversation you've been avoiding.
Practice it out loud.

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FOCUSING ON PERSONAL GROWTH
What have you learned about yourself, your past relationships, and what you
want in a partner?

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 FOCUSING ON PERSONAL GROWTH
Reflect on your support system. Who can you really rely on? Write about them
and why they’re important to you.

How can you strengthen this relationships and others?

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FOCUSING ON PERSONAL GROWTH
If you only had 6 months left to live what would you be doing?

What would you do less of?

Who would you spend more time with?

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FOCUSING ON PERSONAL GROWTH
Look back at the person you were when you started this journal and
compare it with the person you are now. What have you learned?

In what ways have you grown and changed?

What are you most proud of?

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 ENVISIONING THE FUTURE

CONGRATS ON MAKING IT THIS FAR!

You've done a whole lot of work, probably Your brain can't possibly store all of this
cried a little and figured some things out information.
about yourself that you didn't even realize.
So, your RAS acts as a filter, deciding
Now we start getting to the fun stuff. what information should be given attention
and what to overlook.
Who do you want to become? What does
your glow up era look like? When you visualize a desired future, your
RAS becomes attuned to opportunities,
And why does visualization matter? information, and experiences aligned with
that future.
We've already learnt some cool stuff about
the subconscious mind and now we'll take Just like that weird feeling when you learn
it a step further. a new word and then all of a sudden you
start hearing it everywhere, your RAS will
A significant part of the subconscious tune into what you have laid out for your
mind's power lies in the Reticular future plans and show you messaging to
Activating System (RAS). encourage action.

Your RAS is a network of neurons located In order to get what you want, you have
in the brainstem that play a critical role in to first know what you want, visualize
gatekeeping information to send to your what you want and believe that it is
conscious mind. coming.

You don't realize it but your brain is

taking in a ton of information everyday.

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The Importance of Visualization

Before you start envisioning your future in the next set of prompts, we want to give
you some pointers for visualization.

REMEMBER THAT

1. Thoughts are the language of the brain

Our brains respond to our thoughts and beliefs, whether they're about our
current reality or an imagined future.
Your thoughts and beliefs become your reality.

2. Feelings are the language of the body

Our body responds to our feelings, which are often the product of our thoughts.
If we can feel the emotions of our desired future now, our body can be 'tricked'
into thinking that future is already our reality, resulting in more positive
thoughts.
This has the affect of telling your brain’s RAS to focus on positive outcomes.

3. Thoughts + feelings create a state of being:

When our thoughts (brain) and feelings (body) align, we enter a state of being.
This state can influence our actions, choices, and experiences, which ultimately
shapes our reality.

4. Mental rehearsal is key

Just as athletes mentally rehearse their performances, we can mentally rehearse

our desired future.
This process, done regularly, can build neural pathways in our brain that
supports that future.

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How to Visualize
Here’s how to apply these teachings through visualization while doing shadow work:

1. Create a Clear Mental Picture

Define what your future looks like in detail.

What do you look like?
What are you wearing?
What are you doing?
Who are you with?
What is your job?
Where do you live?

2. Feel the Future Now

Engage your emotions as you visualize.

Feel the joy, excitement, love, or peace of your future now.
This convinces your body that this future is happening now and will help to
reprogram the mind.

3. Mental Rehearsal

Regularly visualize your future, immersing yourself in the feelings it brings.

This practice, done over time, reinforces the neural pathways that align with this
future.
Now your mind will look for evidence of the truth of this version of your life.

4. Let Go

Detach from the outcome and trust the process.

Don't stress about how or when your desired future will manifest.
Your job is to create it mentally and emotionally, and then let it unfold naturally.

5. Take Aligned Action

Visualization isn't a replacement for action; it's a catalyst.

Inspired ideas or opportunities will come to you – act on them.
They're part of the path to your visualized future.

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 ENVISIONING THE FUTURE
Do you feel differently about your self concept after everything you’ve learned?
Write about your new beliefs about yourself (remember that what you believe
about yourself becomes your reality).

My Self Concept

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 ENVISIONING THE FUTURE
Envision the ultimate version of your life. What have you let go of? What have
you gained?

Let go of

Gained

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 ENVISIONING THE FUTURE
Picture yourself confidently setting boundaries in a relationship. What
boundaries are you setting? How does it feel to have your needs met and
respected in a relationship?

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 ENVISIONING THE FUTURE
What is your biggest personal challenge right now? Explain in detail.

Imagine you've overcome it. How did you do it? Write out the steps.

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 ENVISIONING THE FUTURE
Close your eyes and imagine a future where you feel secure within yourself. Sit in
this feeling for a moment. What do you love about yourself, what do you look
like, how do you feel, move, act?

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 ENVISIONING THE FUTURE
Visualize yourself accomplishing a major life goal. Focus on the
feelings of success and accomplishment. What is the goal?

What are the steps you took to achieve this?

What impact has achieving this goal made on your self worth and confidence?

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 ENVISIONING THE FUTURE
Envision your future house/s in vivid detail. Where is it, what does it look like,
how is it decorated, how does it feel to live here?

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 ENVISIONING THE FUTURE
Envision your future car/s, what are you driving? How does it feel to have
your dream car? Where are you going in it?

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 ENVISIONING THE FUTURE
What does financial freedom look like to you? What amount of money would
you like to be making each year? If you had everything you desired what does
your life look like? Explain in vivid detail.

How did you achieve this financial freedom? What does your daily life and work
look like?

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 ENVISIONING THE FUTURE
Close your eyes and picture yourself in a place that brings you joy. Sit in it
for a minute, feel it all over your body. Where are you? What does it feel
like? Who’s there? What are you doing?

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 ENVISIONING THE FUTURE
Visualize where you want to travel, both solo and with a future partner.
Where are you going and what are you doing there?

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 ENVISIONING THE FUTURE
Draw lines from the circle about everything you desire in a dream
partner.

Perfect Person

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 ENVISIONING THE FUTURE
Imagine your perfect person. Write a list of physical and emotional qualities this
person has.

Physical

Emotional

187
ENVISIONING THE FUTURE
How does this future partner:

Support you

Love you

188
 ENVISIONING THE FUTURE
Write about your biggest passions and interests.

Does your partner/future partner need to share these interests.

If so, which ones?

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 ENVISIONING THE FUTURE
What's their personality like? How do you hang out? What does it look like at
home together?

190
ENVISIONING THE FUTURE
Draw everything you desire on this page.
It can be words, symbols, images.

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 ENVISIONING THE FUTURE
Picture yourself pursuing a passion or dream you've held
back on, what is it? What's different in this reality? Explain in detail.

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 ENVISIONING THE FUTURE
Visualize your future self's daily routine. What habits have you incorporated for
a healthier life? How does it feel to live this life?

193
 ENVISIONING THE FUTURE
Picture a typical Friday night 1 year from now. What are you doing?
Who are you with? What’s making you smile?

194
 ENVISIONING THE FUTURE
Picture your life one year from now, after consistently working on your
personal growth. What changes do you see?

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 ENVISIONING THE FUTURE
Picture a day in your life 5 years from now. What does it look like from the
moment you wake up to when you go to bed? Write a day in the life.

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 ENVISIONING THE FUTURE
Write down today’s date and 10 goals that you want to accomplish in the
next 12 months in the present tense. i.e. I earn... I feel... I achieve... I own...
I am... I accomplish... I have...

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 ENVISIONING THE FUTURE
Look back at your list of 10 goals. If you had a magic wand and could have
any one of these goals in the next 24 hours which one goal would have the
greatest positive impact on your life? Answer the following:

My goal

My deadline for this goal

What do I have to do to accomplish this goal?

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 ENVISIONING THE FUTURE
Organize what you have to do into a goal check list:

Take action and do something everyday to work toward this goal.

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 ENVISIONING THE FUTURE
Based on your visions write a letter to yourself in the present tense
about all of your hopes and dreams for your future self coming true.
Start with “Dear *name*.

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ENVISIONING THE FUTURE

201
ENVISIONING THE FUTURE

202
 ENTERING
A NEW ERA

Ummm, hi... it’s pretty crazy that you made it this far!

Completing this journal is a testament to how much you want to become the best version
of yourself.

You’re not just thinking about it or talking about it, you’re doing the work and you
should be so proud of that.

As you continue on remember that healing isn’t linear.

You’re going to feel those anxious feelings pop up again and again and that’s okay.
You’re more aware of it now, so you’ll be able to self regulate a lot easier.

Here are some things to do to keep you on the right path to experience security in
relationships.

Daily Reflection

Set an alarm on your phone at the end of the day for a daily reflection
Spend a few moments writing about your day
Explain how you’re feeling in detail

Physically writing down all of your feelings on paper will not only make you more
conscious of your patterns, it will also help you to release any anxiety that is being stored
in the mind and body.

Keep a Dating Diary

If you’re dating, keep a diary about it. This will help you to be honest with yourself
about what’s going.

You know those intense moments where you’re obsessively overthinking? Write about it,
get it all out and reflect on your emotions when you read it back.

Not only does this help you process emotions, it’s also so fun to read about yourself
from your own perspective. You’ll be surprised at how much your feelings change over
short periods of time.

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 ENTERING
A NEW ERA

Remember to Watch Your Thoughts

Remember to practice watching your thoughts. Positive self talk and affirmations will
change everything.

Practice the Law of Detachment

If there’s anything that’s making you feel particularly anxious remind yourself:

Allow others to be who they are

Allow yourself to be who you are
Don’t force situations
Uncertainty is reality
Solutions will emerge when you least expect them
Obsessing over something doesn’t change it
Obsessing over someone doesn’t change them
Take action when possible
Embrace Life
Let Go

Set Boundaries

If there’s anything that’s bothering you, practice setting boundaries.

Where those boundaries are not respected, consider your options.

Remember you cannot control others.

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 ENTERING
A NEW ERA

Date to Learn More About What You Want

Not every date is going to be amazing and finding the right fit for you should take time.

You are unique and you have unique desires and needs.

Let each interaction teach you more about yourself and what you want in a partner.

This perspective helps you to look at the person your dating objectively and not get too
attached, too quickly.

Know that if something doesn’t work out that it is not a reflection of who you are, it just
wasn’t meant for you.

Decentre Romance

Remember, if you’re happy within yourself, you will only accept a relationship that adds
value to your life.

When you feel happy alone and want someone as opposed to needing them, you’re going
to experience better relationships.

Invest in yourself. Treat yourself like the prize.

Become the best version of yourself and attract a partner that reflects and aligns with this
version you.

Visualize Your Desired Future

Continue to visualize everything that you desire and believe that it is coming to you.

Your scious mind will continue to focus on opportunities that bring your desires toward
you.

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 ENTERING
A NEW ERA

Welcome to your new era.

We hope that you've learnt some cool things about neuroscience, your brain and how it's
possible to change and grow.

You've just completed a pretty incredible journey of self discovery.

You've dug deep, probably cried a lot, come to crazy realizations and have learnt some
things about yourself that you didn’t even know.

You've started to unlearn old patterns and learn new ways of relating to yourself and
others.

As you move forward, celebrate each milestone and progress you make in building
healthier and more secure attachments.

Continue to invest in yourself and become the best version of you.

Keep this journal close.

Revisit it often to remind yourself of how far you've come and the resilience you've
displayed.

And as you move forward, remember to be gentle with yourself.

Healing is a journey, not a destination.

You got this.

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