NIT, ROURKELA

PERSONALITY DEVELOPMENT
A development course to set you up for success at work
Presentation by Dr. Sweta Saraff (PhD, Psychology)
WHAT WE WILL
TALK ABOUT
Introduction

Our Training Objective

Training Benefits

Topics Covered

Summary of Key Learnings

Checking for Understanding

Discussion Board
 HELLO, EVERYONE!
I am Dr. Sweta Saraff (PhD, Psychology)
I am a research enthusiast in the fields of
Cognitive Psychology, Personality Patterns,
Culture, and Language Analysis.
I am associated with the Institute of Human
Reproduction Kolkata as HOD, Psychological
Counselling and Course Coordinator
I also provide counseling sessions to students.
OUR TRAINING OBJECTIVE
There is growing recognition that individuals need a wide array of skills
in order to meet the needs of the modern workplace.
The modern workplace requires workers to have broad cognitive and
affective skills.
Often referred to as “21st-century skills,” these skills include being able to
solve complex problems, think critically about tasks, effectively
communicate with people from a variety of different cultures, and use a
variety of different techniques, to work in collaboration with others, to
adapt to rapidly changing environments and conditions for performing
tasks, to effectively manage one’s work, and to acquire new skills and
information on one’s own.
TRAINING BENEFITS
Support scholars in identifying the strengths, and qualities to achieve
goals,
for further development and resilience.
Students’ activities can be used as a baseline to gauge existing knowledge,
skills, and understanding of mental well-being to aid their planning, and
choice in selecting their career.
Students will be able to use healthy coping strategies at university and in
the workplace to manage unavoidable stress factors.
Demonstrate a positive, resilient mindset to cope with pressure situations.
 MODULE 1: KNOW YOURSELF, KNOW YOUR
SURROUNDINGS, AND KNOW YOUR
STRENGTHS, WEAKNESSES, OPPORTUNITIES,
AND THREATS
 TOPICS COVERED
HOLISTIC HEALTH INTEGRATED SELF RELATIONSHIPS

Mental Well-Being Self-perception Intrapersonal

Coping strategies Self- awareness Interpersonal
Resilience Self -confidence Values
HOLISTIC HEALTH
Just like our physical health, mental well-being is something we all
have and must look after.
As educators, supporting young people’s mental well-being is
crucial in helping them journey to successful futures.
The right support can equip students with the skills to help with the
early intervention and prevention of mental health issues in later
life.
This is particularly the case regarding the move from education to
the world of work, which can be a challenging period of change.
Mental well-being can have a clear impact on employability too;
research shows that even before the pandemic, individuals with
mental health conditions were 20% less likely to be employed than
those without.
Supporting young people’s well-being and challenging the stigmas
that often surround it is crucial in helping them thrive in the future
workforce – so, what can be done, and is being done, to address it?
 Let us check - True
or false
Many people feel stressed. You shouldn’t seek help if
you’re struggling with your
mental well-being

There are ways you can help Communication is not important for
yourself feel better if you’re feeling mental wellbeing
down

One in four of us will ask for help

with our mental wellbeing at some Feeling supported is important for
time good mental wellbeing

An employer should support

People with mental health problems
employees with their wellbeing
can’t overcome their challenges
 DISCUSSION: WHAT IS WELLBEING
The following discussion starts to explore students’ existing understanding of well-being.
Examples and additional detail have been provided as prompts

How someone might think or feel in or about

What words come to mind when people use the term
themselves? The sense generated by the combination
‘wellbeing’?
of physical, social, intellectual and emotional factors.

Overall wellbeing includes physical and mental health;

With what do we associate people’s wellbeing? both have equal importance and one can affect the
other.

What kinds of things make people feel good – Responses could include friends/family, exercise, rest
physically, emotionally, socially, intellectually? and sleep, food, pets, hobbies etc.
 DISCUSSION: WHAT IS WELLBEING
The following discussion starts to explore students’ existing understanding of well-being.
Examples and additional detail have been provided as prompts

What can people do to maintain a positive sense of Activities like exercise/activity, healthy eating, sleep
wellbeing, both physical and mental? and rest are essential.

People’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors at school,

How might people feel when their overall wellbeing is
home, and work can be affected by their sense of well-
at its best?
being.

Relationships, academic, financial or work-related

stress and other life changes can affect wellbeing.
What kinds of things can affect a positive sense of
Well-being can also be affected by how people
wellbeing, or throw it off balance?
manage and cope with particular situations, such as
change or pressure.
 DISCUSSION: WHAT IS WELLBEING
The following discussion starts to explore students’ existing understanding of well-being.
Examples and additional detail have been provided as prompts

Focus on physical responses as well as emotions and

feelings, for example:
• Physical: stomach ache, ‘butterflies’, headache, other
How might someone think, feel or behave if their general aches and pains, tiredness and fatigue, lack of
sense of wellbeing is adversely affected? energy, noticeable weight gain or loss
• Emotional: sadness, lack of motivation, negative
thought processes, anxiety, irritability, anger,
impatience, irrational thoughts and behaviors

What might affect people’s wellbeing at home or at Your responses may include the effect of relationships
work? on our self-confidence and self-regard.
 DISCUSSION: WHAT IS WELLBEING
The following discussion starts to explore students’ existing understanding of well-being.
Examples and additional detail have been provided as prompts

How might well-being be affected at times of transition

For some people, change and transition may be
and change, such as moving on from school, or starting
beneficial for their wellbeing.
work?

We can learn how to spot initial signs that a positive

Is wellbeing something that people need to learn how
sense of wellbeing is under threat, but we can also
to ‘tune into’ only at certain times, or is it something we
develop ways in to manage situations and improve our
can help develop and nurture over a period of time?
sense of wellbeing generally throughout our lives.

How might learning skills for maintaining positive Skills learned in one context at an early age can be
wellbeing at an early age benefit people later in life? applied to different contexts as they get older.
 Stress bucket challenge

This ‘stress bucket’ diagram is designed

to show that there are events or For example:
experiences that cause stress, but there
are also actions you can take to release Academic worries e.g. exams, studying
this stress and re-balance your sense of for job qualifications
wellbeing. Applications e.g. university, new job
Adapting to change, e.g. starting a new
Some of the words on the bucket have job or course
been left blank. You have to come up Relationship stress e.g. building
with some suggestions of what could be relationships with colleagues,
filled in. classmates

The continuing slide shows the stress

bucket with all the fields completed.
Compare your answers and discuss any
that were different.
The stress bucket challenge – fill in the blanks

Academic Relationship stress

stress
Difficulty adapting to change

Spending time with supportive

people

Good time Eating healthy

management food

11
The stress bucket challenge – answers
revealed

Anxiety Academic stress Relationship stress

Difficulty adapting to change
Financial
stress Lack of sleep

Good time Spending time with supportive

management people
Doing something you Rest and relaxation
enjoy
Eating healthy food
Exercise
 Case study:
Luke’s story

While in education, I had always done well at university, but the

pressure I felt in the lead-up to my exams was like nothing I
experienced before. I made a revision schedule for my mock exams
and spent as many hours as I could going through what I had
learned throughout the year. I got up early to fit in some revision
before lessons started. As soon as I got home, I would eat quickly,
then go to my room to continue revision, usually at least until
midnight. I had no social life and spent all my weekends revising. I
found it hard to sleep at night and isolated myself from my friends
and family. Furthermore, I kept having thoughts that I would fail
my exams and worried about what people would think of me and
how this would impact my ability to secure an apprenticeship. I
also didn’t want to let my teachers or family down. On the day of
my first mock exam, I felt so anxious that I almost didn’t make it
into the internship – I hardly slept the night before and found my
heart racing leading up to the exam. As soon as it was over, I went
to see my best mate. He knew something was wrong and when he
asked if I was okay, I explained how bad the exam stress was
making me feel.
 Case study:
Luke’s story at work

The first year of my apprenticeship job was great, I loved having a

job and finally earning some money. I missed studying, so was
pleased when my boss offered to pay for me to do a professional
qualification in sustainability, which would allow me to add to my
skills as an engineer and help with my future career goal of having
my own business. What I hadn’t realized was how difficult this
would be to balance alongside my full-time role. I chose to attend
face-to-face classes, as well as online sessions. At first, this was fine,
as I could take one day off work to help with the studying… but in
the lead-up to the practical exam, my team was given an
emergency project with a tight deadline on top of the usual
workload. To complete the project on time and keep on top of my
regular workload, I worked through my lunchtime and stayed late
at work, meaning I had less time for revision in the evenings. I
noticed that my stress levels were rising as I had a short temper
with my colleagues and I was struggling to sleep at night.
 Quick initial discussion
What are the signs that Luke is under pressure?

What other signs might you see that someone is

under pressure leading up to exams and during the
exam period?

What is the impact of the pressure on these thoughts,

feelings, and behavior?

Are there any changes in how Luke has dealt with the
pressures of comparing education to work?

Why do you think people often imagine the worst-

case scenario in high-pressure situations?

Are there ways to be useful or positive when under

pressure and feeling stressed?
 OPTION 1 OPTION 4
Turning around unhelpful and
Make a mind map of thoughts,
negative thoughts (e.g.
feelings, and behavior.
establishing a growth, rather
than fixed mindset)

OPTION 2 OPTION 5
COPING
Managing expectations STRATEGIES Recognizing the signals of stress
and keeping them realistic in yourself and others and being
able to act on it

OPTION 3 OPTION 6

Making a plan B in case Dealing with change

things don’t work out
 Luke’s action plan

Practical suggestions of what Luke can do (relate these to his thoughts,

feelings, and behavior). 25
Speaking to other people who can offer support and guidance mins

Researching websites and forums with helpful advice

• Taking more breaks and short walks

Writing everything down in a journal and focusing on the
successes/positives

Organisation of the coping strategies:

When will they happen – e.g. every day, all the time, for a short time each
day, once only?
Where will they happen?

Do they require any additional resources?

Who else could be involved or help?
 REACTION MAP

THOUGHT THOUGHT THOUGHT

FEELINGS FEELINGS FEELINGS FEELINGS FEELINGS FEELINGS

BEHAVIOR BEHAVIOR BEHAVIOR

 How Luke decided to resolve this:
Whilst in education
I went to see my best mate. He knew something was wrong and
when he asked if I was OK, I explained how bad the exam stress
was making me feel.
Initially, I felt embarrassed telling him everything, but he was so
supportive and didn’t judge me. He took me to see our tutor who
was helpful and understanding and helped me feel more normal
for being so stressed about exams. She said I should start doing
things to keep the stress at bay, like taking more breaks and being
active, even if that just meant going for a short walk each day. She
also encouraged me to speak to my parents to show them how
worried I was about letting them down.
I took my tutor’s advice and found ways to manage my stress –
there were loads of helpful websites and forums out there. I found
the courage to speak to my parents and they were reassuring,
which helped take off some of the pressure.
For the rest of the exam period, I felt stressed at times, but not as
much as when I sat that first mock. I realized that regularly talking
to my friends, tutor, and family, even if it’s difficult to start with,
was really good for my overall well-being.
 How Luke decided to resolve this:

Whilst at work
I knew I had to take control of the situation and speak to my
manager about the pressure I was feeling. I related this to when I
was at college and decided to talk to my teacher.
The conversation with my manager went well, he helped lessen my
workload and encouraged me to leave work on time each day. To
feel less anxious about the exam, I practiced simple techniques to
manage my stress.
Before going to bed, I wrote down everything I was worried about
in a journal, plus at least one positive thing that had happened
that day. This helped me reflect on my well-being, figure out what
sorts of things trigger my anxiety, and see the positives.
I’m now working towards my final module and, although it’s still
challenging sometimes, I feel like I can strike a better balance now
between my job and studying.
 CASE STUDY
Megha’s story of applying for a course
whilst in education During the last year of the sixth semester, I
applied to five universities to study primary
education with qualified teacher status,
but I failed to get a place at any of them.

I worked hard on my statement and I felt

as though I had done the best I could, so I
was devastated not to get an interview.

At the time, it felt like all my friends were

doing well and I was getting left behind. I
found it hard to concentrate on studying
because I was so worried about the future.
I felt as though I had let everyone down.
 CASE STUDY
Megha’s story of applying for jobs
After graduating from university and having lots of
work experience in education, I thought I would
get a job quickly, but I was completely wrong.
I’d hoped to stay on with the school where I did my
last placement but there were no job openings.
Instead, I applied to a school near where I lived and
a few others. It was a tiring process as I put a lot of
effort into each application.
When the first rejection email came through, I was
a bit disappointed, but when the second, third, and
fourth rejection emails arrived, I started to feel
anxious and worried. I asked the schools for
feedback but only got vague comments
Quick initial discussion

Managing negative feelings

Why is this a helpful/unhelpful choice?

What could be the outcome if Mia made this

choice?

How could her feelings have affected this choice?

What could be the effect on Megha’s mental well-

being of making this choice?
 Megha’s choice cards

I feel like a failure and don’t see the point in my exams I put so much effort into that application next time I
now. won’t waste my time.

I feel bad about this, but I just have to keep on trying to get I didn’t want the job anyway.
where I want to be.

It’s ok, I’ll re-apply next year and make sure I work really hard to Perhaps I could email the company and ask them for some
feedback on my interview, to help me work out where I went
get the grades I need. wrong.

Maybe I need to think again about whether this is really what I I was perfect for that job, it’s their loss.
want to do. I’ll do some more research.

The ideal job is out there waiting for me, I just have to find it.
Is there another course or university I could apply for?

I want to go to that university and do that course. I’m not going Right, I’m going back to my application to work out what I can do
to give up! better next time.

I never wanted to do that course anyway. Oh well, if I’d got that job I’d have had loads of commuting and I
wasn’t sure about that from the start.

Right, I’ve got an extra year that I didn’t bargain for. Let’s think This is the third rejection for this type of work. Perhaps I need to think
about what I can do with it. about applying for something different.
RESILIENCE AND ADAPTABILITY STRATEGIES
Sort the resilience and adaptability strategy cards in three piles using color pens

TOPIC AREAS DISCUSSED: SKILLS ACQUIRED: KEY TAKEAWAYS:

Which are unhelpful coping

What do you think ‘resilience’
strategies and why? What
means? How can someone Write here.
could be the eventual impact
demonstrate resilience?
of using these.

How does a balanced How might someone

approach to disappointments develop the skills they need Write here.
help a person manage them?. to be resilient?

What might be the In which life situations

implications if people don’t might we need to be Write here.
manage disappointments resilient?
successfully?
Megha’s resilience plan The turning point came when I met with my tutor
and explained how I was feeling. He helped me see I
wasn’t a failure and that taking a year out to get
experience working with children could make my
application stronger for the next time around.
I started opening up to friends and family and I
realized that sharing my worries made me feel less
alone. One of my friends encouraged me to join her
running club and we started going together three
times a week. With help from my tutor, I came up
with a new plan to focus on my studies and get the A
Level results needed to get onto the University
course.
In the meantime, I contacted schools in my area and
got myself a two-week placement, which gave me
something to look forward to. I made sure I spoke to
friends and family if I ever felt down and I kept up my
running. Although getting rejections from
universities was disheartening at first, it helped me
build resilience.
Megha decided to resolve this:
I knew from experience that it wasn’t good for my
well-being to deal with challenges like this alone, so I

Whilst applying for jobs decided to contact my university’s careers service. I

found out I could visit them even a year or two after
graduating. Having regular one-on-ones with a
careers adviser enabled me to set realistic goals and
stay positive.
The careers adviser also looked over my job
applications to see where I had been going wrong
and gave guidance on making it better. During this
period of unemployment,
I started practicing yoga and mindfulness – I
downloaded a free app to guide me through a short
daily routine, which helped me with my sleep.
Finally, I got interviews with two schools and was
offered a role. The graduate job application process
was a tough one but reaching out for support helped
massively and I’ve kept up my mindfulness exercises.
 Self-assessment
Circle the number to rate your level of knowledge, understanding and skills about your mental wellbeing. Then do it again after the session to see
if these have developed and improved, or if you need to know more. 1 is the lowest level, 5 is the highest.

Low High

When I’m under extra pressure, I can manage it in a healthy, Before the session 1 3 4
2 5
Learning
positive and productive way After the session 1 3 4
2 5
I can identify and confidently communicate my strengths,
outcomes Before the session 1 3 4 5
2
qualities and abilities on job or course applications After the session 1 2 3 4 5
Before the session 1 3 4 5
I can use feedback to develop and improve 2
After the session 1 3 4 5
2
Before the session 1 3 4 5
I can support others and build positive new relationships 2
After the session 1 3 4 5
2
Before the session 1 3 4 5
When I feel ‘first day nerves’, I can find ways to feel calm 2
and in control After the session 1 5
2 3 4
TOPIC 2: INTEGRATED SELF
How do we perceive ourselves? We are biased about ourselves. We
tend to take credit for our success and
Is there a bias in self-perception? Let us check blame others for our losses.

Most of my problems are caused by others, be it friends, peers, relatives

and even parents. No one puts a decent attempt to understand me.
Sometimes the situation is so weird, that it spirals out of my control. I
feel tired and exhausted. What is the problem with this world?

Do I need to introspect? It is
scary.
It is difficult to search within ourselves
to find faults. It drains us emotionally
and physically. This is not
introspection. We should look for
strong points as well as our elements
of fear and anxious spots. Then assess
them to make better plans and
choices. Let us try.
01
 Accountability
Illusions of control 03 04 & responsibility

I O NS
U S
Distortion of L L Appraisal of
reality 02 01 thoughts,

I
emotions &

C
values

CLASSI

F SELF
VS Relationship

A
between
01 02

W
Ideal self AR
interests and
skills
EN
ESS

Cognitive Syncing with

dissonance 04 03 identity
 INTEGRATED SELF
Develop a connection between oneself and life experiences

SELF AWARENESS SELF ACCEPTANCE SELF MANAGEMENT

1 Critical and keen 1 Building self-esteem 1 Checking cognitive

observation of self 2 Avoiding distortion of dissonance
2 Finding the relationship reality 2 Recognize your fears and
between interests and skills 3 Keeping a check on the vulnerabilities
3 Appraisal of thoughts, ego 3 Be empathetic to yourself
emotions & values 4. Focusing on strengths and others
4. Syncing with identity and working hard to reduce 4 Manage your emotions
your weaknesses.
 ILLUSIONS ABOUT SELF
Problems associated with heuristics

ILLUSIONS OF CONTROL DISTORTION OF REALITY KEY TAKEAWAYS:

Ignoring random chance Positivity bias. Pollyanna principle

Superstitious & Magical Looking for causality Thinking fast & slow
thinking

Maximization of short term Implemental mindset

Irrational decisions gains

Cognitive dissonance
Inflated ego/ false satisfaction Selective processing
 Problem Investigation
We reject Forced compliance
conflicting beliefs paradigm
that unsettle us.

Logical processes
Evidence
Change in habit is
Rejecting,
rationalizing or
CONCEPTUAL painful
avoiding truth MAP

Interpretation Take away

Discomfort as there Could you look

is a risk to the beyond the
persona/ mythical
Cogntive uneasiness? Do our
identity we have Dissonance attitudes align with
created our actions?
 IDEAL SELF
Need for an open discussion.
MASKING
Self Esteem
We pretend to wear a
mask to hide our true
It is appreciation of
Experiences in life feelings creating anxiety
one’s potential and
may contradict the and discomfort.
living up to one’s
expectations. self-image we have
created We become fearful,
OUTCOME frustrated and angry at
It is also taking When the ego is
threatened, it works self and others around
responsibility for one’s
hard to save itself for us.
actions and inaction.
existence.
We fail to see the
It means accepting
important gaps between
your limitations and
our interest, skills and
problems to go ahead
opportunities.
in life.
Emotional Situation
. Management. Assessment
This 2 × 2 maps
The four self-awareness archetypes
internal self-
awareness (how Low external High external
well you know self-awareness self-awareness
yourself) against
external self- INTROSPECTORS AWARE
awareness (how They’re clear on who they are They know who they are, what
well you High but don’t challenge their own they want to accomplish, and seek
understand how internal views or search for blind spots out and value others’ opinions.

others see you). self- by getting feedback from This is where leaders begin to
awareness others. This can harm their fully realize the true benefits
relationships and limit their of self-awareness.
success.

SEEKERS PLEASERS
They don’t yet know who they They can be so focused on
Low appearing a certain way to others
are, what they stand for, or
internal that they could be overlooking
how their teams see them. As
self- what matters to them. Over time,
a result, they might feel stuck they tend to make choices that
awareness or frustrated with their aren’t in service of their own
performance and relationships. success and fulfillment.
 4 STEPS TO
ACHIEVING SELF AWARENESS

APPRAISAL OF RELATIONSHIP
THOUGHTS, G BETWEEN
EMOTIONS & VALUE INTERESTS AND
SKILLS

L
O

ACCOUNTABILITY SYNCING WITH

& IDENTITY
RESPONSIBILITY
A
SELF CONFIDENCE

Yes, I can
Some people have overcome big challenges
“I don’t mind if I have to sit on the “I’ve gone past my expectation every
floor at school. All I want is education. single year… I’ve done things that
And I am afraid of no one.” other people couldn’t dream of.”
Malala Yousafzai Jonnie Peacock

impossible “As a dyslexic myself, I know that

everyone living with dyslexia can also
thrive with it. In fact, it has been such
a positive force in my life.”
Richard Branson
Tackling challenges with confidence
Malala Yousafzai “I don’t mind if I have to sit on the floor at school. All I
want is education. And I am afraid of no one.” Malala Yousafzai was born
in 1997 in Pakistan. She has been campaigning for the right for girls to be
educated and started writing a blog for the BBC in 2009. On 9 October
2012, Malala was shot in the head by a Taliban gunman: miraculously she
survived and, after receiving initial treatment in Pakistan, Malala was
airlifted to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital in Birmingham, where she
underwent a series of operations. She regularly speaks out on education
issues and was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 2014.
 Tackling challenges with confidence

Jonnie Peacock “I’ve gone past my expectation every single year… I’ve
done things that other people couldn’t dream of.” Jonnie Peacock won
Gold in the men’s T44 100m at the 2012 and 2016 Paralympics. In 1999,
aged just six, he had to have part of one leg amputated after a bout of
meningitis in which he nearly died.
Tackling challenges with confidence

Richard Branson “As a dyslexic myself, I know that everyone living with dyslexia can
also thrive with it. In fact, it has been such a positive force in my life.” Sir Richard
Branson is a highly successful entrepreneur. In the 1970s he founded the Virgin Group,
which today controls more than 400 companies in various fields. Richard has dyslexia,
which affected his academic performance and has also openly talked about having
ADHD.
How do you think about challenges?

Positive:
Negative:
‘It’s an opportunity’
‘It’s a problem’

When you see challenges as opportunities, you find reasons to overcome your fears.
 Mind Map -Example

Fear Frustration

Self-doubt
Anxiety
e

Low motivation Failure

Jealousy Insecurity
Workplace challenges

Samir has taken a Jyoti has worked Sadiya has been Humza has an
call from a hard on asked to call a important report to
customer who’s a presentation for long list of be sent off by 9am
just realised that he her boss and she customers to let on Monday. It’s now
ordered 100 boxes thought it was a them know about Friday and there’s
great piece of work, a new product.
of paper but only still a few hours’
but she’s just Some of them are
meant to order 10. handed it back and work to do before
The order is already VIPs and she’s not the report will be
asked her to make
being processed. feeling confident. ready to send.
changes.
How should she
What should he do? What could she do? What could he do?
respond?
Tackling a workplace challenge

How could the What skills would be

What might
challenge become needed to successfully
the fears be?
an opportunity? tackle the challenge?
 04

03 Imagine 05
success
Have a goal
Realise why
and a plan
your fears
might not
matter

02 06
Ask yourself
Reach out of ‘What’s the
your ‘comfort worst that can
zone’ happen?’

Overcome your
fear
01 07
Treat each Learn from
challenge as mistakes –
an then TRY
opportunity AGAIN
How could these two events be explained? 8

1.Doing really well in a 2.Wanting to make a good

test, getting the best impression on someone,
results so far but finding they are
quite rude upon meeting
them
Think of two things that happened to you
1.Something that went well 2.Something that didn’t go well

What’s your
explanatory
style for each
one?
 Tips for helping to think positively and build self-
confidence

Look at what can be

controlled

Remember what was done

well or how to improve
When things go well,
When things go remember:
wrong, remember: •Most things go well
•Things will usually
•Things won’t go well in the
always go wrong future
in the future
Thinking positively 12

When things go wrong, remember: When things go well, remember:

•Not everything goes wrong for me •Most things go well for me
•Things won’t always go wrong in the •Things will usually go well in the future
future

Tips for helping to think positively and build self-confidence:

• Accept that things can go wrong
• Remember that most things go well
• Replace any negative thoughts using a positive explanatory style
• Remember examples of when things go well and use them to challenge pessimistic thoughts
• Use these examples to think ‘I can help this go well because…’
• Always be honest and take responsibility for actions
The Road Ahead DETERMINATION and hard work is the only
road to success. there are no short-cuts.

Be pragmatic about HERE WE ARE

critcism. RAISE your
levels
KEEP GOING

What is your
PASSION, that never
wears you out?

LET'S DO IT
IDENTIFY your best self

FIRST STEPS
 What a confusing life!
I am in a mess.
The youth are facing greater challenges today than what their parents experienced. In the late 80s and 90s, the
youth had a set template to follow in their parent's footsteps or any elder. The pressure to obey the set societal
guidelines was enormous and hardly anyone wanted to become a martyr. Times are different today, the youth has the
freedom to think and an open arena to experiment and try new options.

This freedom has its challenges and setbacks also, this is what I have come to understand. Some handholding
and scaffolding with a nonjudgmental attitude go far with the late millennials and GenZ. To help someone, a guide,
friend, or parent will need some openness in the attitude. A willingness to share, listen, and discuss builds trust and
confidence.

Loneliness and rejection are two deterrents to progress, growth, and joy. Loneliness is a global issue among the
youth today, it makes life more complicated and challenging. It questions the priorities and values that one sets in life.
You are not able to enjoy whatever you have achieved to the fullest. It makes one feel empty and shallow. Rejections
question your identity and leaves a deadly sting in the heart.
 THE POWER OF GUIDANCE
Open and unbiased discussions with
family, partner and friends provide
emotional strength in hard times.
Sometimes we don't find the energy to
share openly with our parents and
partner. There are demons that we have
buried deep inside and digging them
may bring out old skeletons which can
worsen the situations.

Friends know more about you than your An unbiased, experienced, and caring person will listen to
parents. But you may not trust your friend your issues, and guide you reasonably. The psychologist will
enough to share your deep secrets. There encourage you to consider multiple options for each problem
is a stinging feeling that if you open your or crisis. Think carefully, evaluate each option, and then take
heart out, others may take advantage or small steps toward your goals. Set your priorities, identify your
laugh at you. You are not alone in these values, and implement them for fulfillment and peace.
thoughts.
Can you do it alone, or are you ready to share?
 Decoding Relationships

Family and career are both important, but what about

You other shades of your life?

The table shows the different sets of relationships side by side, that is
how they place themselves in life.

Career
Family
Life partner/ Friends &
Parents & Siblings
Soulmate Cousins
Nurture Love Bond
Care Happiness Fun
The projected path is a dreamy
sketch of life for an adolescent.
Many are unaware of doses of
Expectations Doubts Competiti
challenges in leaps and bounds.
Responsibility Comparis ons
Can you handle it? Are you ready?
on Mockery
 THE HEART IS WHERE THE
RELATIONSHIPS ARE

Relationships give meaning to life, they add to our identity. Your soulmate lets you be
yourself. You learn to trust someone with your inner self. You feel happiness in the
smallest of things, and places that earlier looked meaningless.

Parents love their children unconditionally. The closest friend the youth may have today
is their mom and dad. There are no expectations, hidden agendas, or mistrust.

Siblings become your strength and greatest resource as you grow together. Your bond
with your friends and cousins brings color to your mundane routine.

So much is there, but still, pieces of the jigsaw puzzle don’t fit.
 Health
THIS ANALYSIS WILL GUIDE YOU IN UNDERSTANDING WHAT WORKS FOR YOU AND WHAT
IS NOT HELPING YOU. FILL OUT THE BOXES BELOW TO MOVE TOWARDS YOUR HEALTH
GOALS!

What are you doing

What you feel is not going
correct?

S W
correct for you?

Your plans that What is stopping

will help you in

O T
you?
being fit &
healthy
 Intrapersonal Skills
Skills that are essential in today’s constantly
changing environment
3

Value based 4

choices

Self -
2 regulation
Problem-
solving
5

Adaptability
Accept the
challenge.
1
 Self -Management
The ability to work remotely, in virtual teams; to work autonomously; and to self-motivate and self-monitor. One
aspect of self-management is the willingness and ability to acquire new information and skills related to work
(Houston, 2007).

Varying points of view that four prominent researchers have put forth:

“The capacity of individuals to guide themselves, in any way

possible, toward important goal states” (Fitzsimons and Bargh,
2004)
“The capacity to plan, guide, and monitor one’s behavior flexibly in
the face of changing circumstances” (Brown, 1998)
“Self-generated thoughts, feelings, and actions that are planned and
cyclically adapted to the attainment of personal goals”
(Zimmerman, 2000)
“The process by which one monitor, directs attention, maintains, and
modifies behaviors to approach a desirable goal” (Ilkowska and Engle,
2010)
Adaptibility
UNIQUE
SITUATION
Flowchart

LEARNING
HANDLING
NEW TASK, JOB
WORK
TECH OR CRISES
STRESS
PROCESS

ADJUSTING TO
VALUING
ADAPTING TO DIFFERENT
WORK
NEW ROLES COMMUNICATION NO
CULTURE
STYLES

PERSONAL SELF -
SATISFACTION DEVELOPMENT
YES TIME TO
CHANGE
INTRAPERSONAL METRIC#1
GO THROUGH EACH SECTION, AND TICK THE CHECKBOX FOR EACH
STATEMENT THAT IS TRUE FOR YOU.

FEELINGS THOUGHTS
I think I am stuck in the
I feel tired these days.
past.

I keep on thinking about the

I am bored mostly.
same things.

I don't know how to solve

Life is uninspiring.
my current issues.

I get emotional easily. I lack clarity in my thinking.

My problems are never- I am dependent on my close

ending. ones for solutions.

ACTIONS VALUES
I am jittery when something
I focus on the big picture.
doesn't work for me.

I am impatient with people

I tend to prioritize my goals.
who don't hear me out.

I like to give space and time

Life is in a mess.
to others.

I like to enrich my
I do not react mostly.
relationships.

My personal growth is most

i get annoyed easily.
important to me now.
 GROWTH MINDSET
Linear Diagram

GOAL -SETTING FLEXIBLE THINKING

Priority setting &
Time management
1 2
Observing, monitoring &
Planning

PERSONALITY
DEVELOPMENT
5 EMOTIION MANAGEMMENT
Confidence, discipline,
order, purpose
3 Power to control negative
thoughts and reactive

4
emotions

EXECUTIVE SKILLS
Focus, inhibition, working
memory, set shifting
 Interpersonal Capacities in the Partnership
for 21st Century Skills

Work Creatively with Others

Develop, implement, and communicate new ideas to others

effectively
Be open and responsive to new and diverse perspectives;
incorporate group input and feedback into the work
Demonstrate originality and inventiveness in work and understand
the real-world limits to adopting new ideas
View failure as an opportunity to learn; understand that creativity
and innovation is a long-term, cyclical process of small successes
and frequent mistakes
 Interpersonal Capacities in the Partnership
for 21st Century Skills

Communicate Clearly

Articulate thoughts and ideas effectively using oral, written, and

nonverbal communication skills in a variety of forms and contexts
Listen effectively to decipher meaning, including knowledge, values,
attitudes, and intentions
Use communication for a range of purposes (e.g., to inform, instruct,
motivate, and persuade)
Utilize multiple media and technologies, and know how to judge
their effectiveness a priori as well as to assess their impact
Communicate effectively in diverse environments (including
multilingual)
.
Complex communication/social skills:

Skills in processing and interpreting both verbal and nonverbal information from others to respond
appropriately. A skilled communicator can select key pieces of a complex idea to express in words,
sounds, and images, to build shared understanding (Levy and Murnane, 2004).

Skilled communicators negotiate positive outcomes with customers, subordinates, and superiors
through social perceptiveness, persuasion, negotiation, instructing, and service orientation (Peterson
et al., 1999).
 01

Interpreting
02

a ti g
on
o rm sin
Information

In f o c e s
06

Pr

bo
C o la n
Effective

dy
n tr g u a
Communication
un

D e a re d d in g

ol
Tips
de
sh a n

on ge
ve
rst

lo p
03

l c non
rb a n d r
v e l a fo

s
rb a in g

ue
ve ok
Creative

Lo
05 approach to
share ideas

04
 Interpersonal Capacities in the Partnership
for 21st Century Skills

Collaborate with Others

Demonstrate ability to work effectively and respectfully with diverse

teams
Exercise flexibility and willingness to help make necessary changes
to accomplish a common goal
Assume shared responsibility for collaborative work, and value the
individual contributions made by each team member

Interact Effectively with Others

Know when it is appropriate to listen and when to speak

Conduct themselves in a respectable, professional manner
 Interpersonal Capacities in the Partnership
for 21st Century Skills

Adapt to Change

Adapt to varied roles, jobs responsibilities, schedules, and contexts

Work effectively in a climate of ambiguity and changing priorities
Be Flexible

Incorporate feedback effectively

Deal positively with praise, setbacks, and criticism
Understand, negotiate, and balance diverse views and beliefs to
reach
workable solutions, particularly in multicultural environments
Interpersonal Capacities in the Partnership
for 21st Century Skills

Work Effectively in Diverse Teams

Respect cultural differences and work effectively with people from a range of
social and cultural backgrounds
Respond open-mindedly to different ideas and values
Leverage social and cultural differences to create new ideas and increase
both innovation and quality of work

Guide and Lead Others

Use interpersonal and problem-solving skills to influence and guide others

toward a goal
Leverage the strengths of others to accomplish a common goal
Inspire others to reach their very best via example and selflessness
Demonstrate integrity and ethical behavior in using influence and power
Act responsibly with the interests of the larger community in mind
 Interpersonal Skills- Summary
1 2 3 4

Work creatively Be open and Communicate Collaborate

with Others responsive Clearly

5 6 7

Adapt to change Be flexible Interact

effectively

8 9 10

Be a Team Player Guide & lead Take

Responsibility
 CIRCLE OF COHERENCE
THE CIRCLE OF COHERENCE HELPS YOU UNDERSTAND HOW
TO BALANCE YOUR LIFE MEANINGFULLY. RATE THE
CATEGORIES ON A SCALE OF 1–10.

WTH
& GRO HE
AL
TH
E ER
R
CA

SO
CI
CE

AL
AN

RE
FIN

LAT
IONS
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 1
0

INT
IMAT
IES

E
B

RE
OB

L
H

AT
O I
N
S

S PA
S RE
NE NT
LL E S&
ALW SIBL
MENT INGS
 VALUES & PRIORITIES

FILL IN THE CHECKLIST SPACES BELOW WITH STRENGTHS &

VALUES THAT GIVE MEANING TO THE RELATIONSHIP.

HOW DO YOU ADD MEANING & VALUE TO THE RELATIONSHIP?

HOW DOES YOUR PARTNER ADD TO THIS RELATION?

 INTERPERSONAL
METRIC#2
MAKE YOUR WAY THROUGH EACH SECTION, AND TICK THE CHECKBOX FOR
EACH QUESTION IF IT IS TRUE FOR YOU.

FEELINGS HABITS
Do you think it is ok to
Do you smoke quite often?
shout sometimes?

Is it important that your Do you eat street and oily

partner must obey you? food most of the days?

Do you think it is ok to make

Do you like to be high
fun of your partner in
mostly, specially in parties?
public?

Do you share your feelings

Do you drink quite often?
with others often?

Do you feel let down by your Do you engage in betting,

partner often? casino or online gaming?

ACTIONS VALUES
Do you think it is ok if your
Do you bring your work
partner counters or argue
home quite often?
back?
Do you think it is ok to not Do you think it is important
turn up on prior that your partner dresses
commitment? according to your choice?
Do you think it is ok to not Do you like to spend time
return phone calls mostly? with your friends more than
your partner?
Do you spend weekends and
holidays with your work Do you get involved in your
friends?. family issues?
Do you invite friends/
Are you on official tours
relatives over most
mostly?
weekends?
Scenario Analysis
What if your partner gets transferred to another city or country suddenly? How will you deal with such a
situation? What problems you can think of, can make being in this relationship difficult for you? How do you
plan to overcome this unprecedented crisis?

1 I need to take these steps:

1

2 Possibly these issues look difficult for me:

1

3 Overall, I believe in or will put my best efforts to:

1

4
Scenario Analysis
What if you get emotionally and physically involved with someone who has a different set of goals and values
in life? How will you deal with such a situation? What problems do you think of that can make being in this
relationship difficult for you? How do you plan to overcome this unprecedented crisis?

1 I need to take these steps:

1

2 Possibly these issues look difficult for me:

1

3 Overall, I believe in or will put my best efforts to:

1

4
Scenario Analysis
What if your parents disagree with your choice of partner or career? How will you deal with such a situation?
What problems you may face if you choose to defy your parents? How do you plan to overcome this crisis?

1 I need to take these steps:

1

2 Possibly these issues look difficult for me:

1

3 Overall, I believe in or will put my best efforts to:

1

4
CHECKING FOR
UNDERSTANDING
MENTAL MODELS FOR YOUR THOUGHTS:

.If you had one year to choose your career, how would you
spend it? Use it to recognize your passion.

If you had enough money to do whatever you wanted, How would you
spend it?

What career advice will you give yourself as a friend?

How or where do you want to see yourself ten to fifteen years from today?
THANK YOU FOR
LISTENING!
If you have any questions, feel free to reach
out to us through any of the following:
WEBSITE
swetasaraff.com
EMAIL ADDRESS
info@swetasaraff.com
SOCIAL MEDIA
@reallygreatsite
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