The actual self is built on self-knowledge.

Self-knowledge is derived from

social interactions that provide insight into how others react to you. The actual self is
who we actually are. It is how we think, how we feel, look, and act. The actual self
can be seen by others, but because we have no way of truly knowing how others
view us, the actual self is our self-image.
The ideal self, on the other hand, is how we want to be. It is an idealized
image that we have developed over time, based on what we have learned and
experienced. The ideal self could include components of what our parents have
taught us, what we admire in others, what our society promotes, and what we think is
in our best interest.
There is negotiation that exists between the two selves which is complex
because there are numerous exchanges between the ideal and actual self. These
exchanges are exemplified in social roles that are adjusted and re-adjusted, and are
derived from outcomes of social interactions from infant to adult development.
Alignment is important. If the way that I am (the actual self) is aligned with the way
that I want to be (the ideal self), then I will feel a sense of mental well-being or peace
of mind. If the way that I am is not aligned with how I want to be, the incongruence,
or lack of alignment, will result in mental distress or anxiety. The greater the level of
incongruence between the ideal self and real self, the greater the level of resulting
distress. Personal development modules ultimate aim is greater self-knowledge that
will lead to higher alignment between these two personality domains.
Source: http://study.com/academy/lesson/what-is-self-concept-in-psychology-definition
lesson-quiz.html
http://study.com/academy/lesson/ideal-self-vs-real-self-definition-lesson-quiz.html

Reading: PERSONAL EFFECTIVENESS

Personal effectiveness means making use of all the personal resources –
talents, skills, energy and time, to enable you to achieve life goals.
Your knowledge of yourself and how you manage yourself impacts directly on
your personal effectiveness. Being self-aware, making the most of your strengths,
learning new skills and techniques and behavioral flexibility are all keys to improving
your personal performance.
Our personal effectiveness depends on our innate characteristics – talent and
experience accumulated in the process of personal development. Talents first are
needed to be identified and then developed to be used in a particular subject area
(science, literature, sports, politics, etc.).
Experience includes knowledge and skills that we acquire in the process of
cognitive and practical activities.
All rights reserved. No part of this material may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means -
electronic or mechanical including photocopying – without written permission from the DepEd Central Office. First
Edition, 2016.
Knowledge is required for setting goals, defining an action plan to achieve
them and risk assessment.
Skills also determine whether real actions are performed in accordance with
the plan. If the same ability is used many times in the same situation, then it
becomes a habit that runs automatically, subconsciously. Here are some skills that
will greatly increase the efficiency of any person who owns them:

1. Determination. It allows you to focus only on achieving a specific goal

without being distracted by less important things or spontaneous desires. It
may be developed with the help of self-discipline exercise.
2. Self-confidence. It appears in the process of personal development, as a
result of getting aware of yourself, your actions and their consequences. Self
confidence is manifested in speech, appearance, dressing, gait, and physical
condition. To develop it, you need to learn yourself and your capabilities, gain
positive attitude and believe that by performing right actions and achieving
right goals you will certainly reach success.
3. Persistence. It makes you keep moving forward regardless of emerging
obstacles – problems, laziness, bad emotional state, etc. It reduces the costs
of overcoming obstacles. It can also be developed with the help of self
discipline exercise.
4. Managing stress. It helps combat stress that arises in daily life from the
environment and other people. Stress arises from the uncertainty in an
unknown situation when a lack of information creates the risk of negative
consequences of your actions. It increases efficiency in the actively changing
environment.
5. Problem-solving skills. They help cope with the problems encountered with
a lack of experience. It increases efficiency by adopting new ways of
achieving goals when obtaining a new experience.
6. Creativity. It allows you to find extraordinary ways to carry out a specific
action that no one has tried to use. It can lead to a decrease or an increase of
costs, but usually the speed of action is greatly increased when using
creative tools.
7. Generating ideas. It helps you achieve goals using new, original,
unconventional ideas. Idea is a mental image of an object formed by the
human mind, which can be changed before being implemented in the real
world. For generating ideas you can use a method of mental maps, which
allows you to materialize, visualize and scrutinize all your ideas, which in turn
contributes to the emergence of new ideas. These are just some, but the
most important personal effectiveness skills which make the achievement of
any goal easier and less costly

There are three kinds of people in this world:

The first is the Moviegoer. This person watches the movie of their lives,
admires some parts and criticizes others. Aside from that, they do nothing else. All
she says the whole day is, “I like this thing and but I don’t like that thing.” The
Moviegoer feels she has absolutely no control of their lives --- except to comment
about it. Moviegoers are the most pathetic, miserable people in the world.
The second is the Actor. This person does not only watch the movie of her
life. She actually realizes she’s the Actor – and can control a big part of her life. She
can actually make or break the movie – by how well she delivers her lines and how
she portrays her character. Actors are a happy bunch, realizing they’re the start of
the show and enjoy some level of control. But many times, they wish the movie
would end in another way – but realize that they have no say in such things.
The third is the Scriptwriter. This person does not only watch, and she
doesn’t only act, but she actually creates the entire movie from her mind. She
determines what she will say, what she will do, and how the movie will end. She
realizes she has enormous control over her life, and sees to it that the movie of her
life will turn out beautiful.

The purpose of journal writing is to help you become the Scriptwriter of your
life. There are four (4) practical reasons to maintain a journal:
1. It is cost-efficient and available. Emotional stress can be dealt in many ways
like talking to a friend over a cup of coffee, eating, travelling, shopping,
painting and many more but writing is the most inexpensive. Notebook and
pens are easy to find, available and do not cost so much.
2. It is preventive and pro-active. Writing yields self-awareness. When you write,
you can discover your strengths and limitations. You will know what your
reactions are in different situations and what better ways to prevent, avoid, or
face your fears.
3. It is creative and productive. Journal writing expounds your imagination. You
can see various dimensions of your problem, different points of view and
better solutions.
4. Lastly, it is personal and private. Unless you want to share your stories, you
have the choice to keep them to yourself. Writing is your time alone. It is your
way of loving yourself. You will not be judged by your writing.
You just need one (1) notebook to maintain a personal journal. You may use
these questions as you write in your journal:
1. How do you find this day? What are the positive things that happened? What
are those things that made you irritated or upset?
2. As you reflect the ups and downs of your day, what may be the greatest
lesson you can learn from them? What actions have you done well and what
actions you can do better?
3. What do you really want in life? What do you want to achieve for yourself,
your family, your community, and your country?
4. As you close the day, what are the small and big things you are thankful of?
Who are the people that made your day extra special?
Processing: Write your answers in your personal journal.
1. What have you discovered in yourself?
2. What are your core strengths?
3. What are the qualities you want to hone and improve on?
“A pen is certainly is certainly an excellent instrument to fix a man’s attention
and inflame his ambition” – John Adams

Reading: ASPECTS OF THE SELF

The self-concept is represented by several aspects of the self. It is conceived
as collection of multiple, context-dependent selves. This construct believes that
context activates particular regions of self-knowledge and self-relevant feedback
affects self-evaluations and affect. A deeper look on the different aspects of self can
identify specific areas for self-regulation, stability and improvement.
In a nutshell, an individual is composed of three basic but very different
aspects of the self. They are the physical or tangible aspects as they relate to the
body, the intellectual and conscious aspects as they relate to the mind, and the
emotional and intuitive aspects as they relate to the spirit. All three aspects of the
self work together in perfect harmony when attention is paid to all three
simultaneously.
Many individuals put a strong emphasis on the physical aspect of the self.
The body is tangible, obvious, and we respond to it easily. More time and money is
spent on enhancing the physical component than either of the other two aspects.
This does not mean, however, that the body is healthy or strong. The body provides
a place to house the spirit (often experienced as feelings) and the mind (often
experienced as thought).
It may be important to some that their mind be prominent and well educated.
The mind is important, as it is the part of the self that directs the other two aspects.
The mind learns what to do and communicates the information to the body and the
feelings. What the mind believes, the body manifests or acts on, and the emotions
feel, or respond with. People store both healthy and destructive thoughts and beliefs
and responds to life's circumstances in the most prominent manner. The mind
provides access creativity and serenity which are necessary for such processes as
prayer, forgiveness, acceptance, and passion.

The human emotions are the most feared aspect of the self, as individuals
are reluctant and unprepared to manage them. Managing feelings is like trying to
hold water in the palm of your hand. They are illusive and deceptive. A decision
made under emotional stress and strain usually impacts emotions negatively.
Negative emotions that are not managed are stored and repressed. Repression is
destructive to a content self since all feelings, not only negative ones are stored
away. Accessing feelings when they are needed now becomes difficult, leaving the
individual numb and hopeless.
For instance, a girl realizes that she is giving much attention on the physical
aspects and less attention on her intellectual self. In this way, she can discover how
much money and time spent maintaining her physique and its consequences in her
grades. By this honest evaluation of herself, she can plan effective actions to
improve her study habits. She can start seeking for help and for related books to
read or browse articles to help her improve her study habits.

Reading: DEVELOPMENTAL STAGES

Human Development focuses on human growth and changes across the
lifespan, including physical, cognitive, social, intellectual, perceptual, personality and
emotional growth.
The study of human developmental stages is essential to understanding how
humans learn, mature and adapt. Throughout their lives, humans go through various
stages of development.
The human being is either in a state of growth or decline, but either condition
imparts change. Some aspects of our life change very little over time, are
consistent. Other aspects change dramatically. By understanding these changes, we
can better respond and plan ahead effectively.
Developmental Stage
Characteristics
1. Pre-natal
(Conception to birth)
Age when hereditary endowments and sex
are fixed and all body features, both
external and internal are developed.
2. Infancy
(Birth to 2 years)
Foundation age when basic behavior are
organized and many ontogenetic maturation
skills are developed.
3. Early Childhood
(2 to 6 years)
Pre-gang age, exploratory, and questioning.
Language and Elementary reasoning are
acquired and initial socialization is
experienced.
4. Late Childhood
(6 to 12 years)
Gang and creativity age when self-help
skills, social skills, school skills, and play are
developed.
5. Adolescence
(puberty to 18 years)
Transition age from childhood to adulthood
when sex maturation and rapid physical
development occur resulting to changes in
ways of feeling, thinking and acting.
6. Early Adulthood
(18 to 40 years)
Age of adjustment to new patterns of life
and roles such as spouse, parent and bread
winner.
7. Middle Age
(40 years to retirement)
Transition age when adjustments to initial
physical and mental decline are
experienced.
8. Old Age
(Retirement to death)
Retirement age when increasingly rapid
physical and mental decline are
experienced.

Reading: HAVIGHURST`S DEVELOPMENTAL TASKS DURING THE

LIFE SPAN
Robert J. Havighurst elaborated on the Developmental Tasks Theory in the
most systematic and extensive manner. His main assertion is that development is
continuous throughout the entire lifespan, occurring in stages, where the individual
moves from one stage to the next by means of successful resolution of problems or
performance of developmental tasks. These tasks are those that are typically
encountered by most people in the culture where the individual belongs. If the person
successfully accomplishes and masters the developmental task, he feels pride and
satisfaction, and consequently earns his community or society’s approval. This
success provides a sound foundation which allows the individual to accomplish tasks
to be encountered at later stages. Conversely, if the individual is not successful at
accomplishing a task, he is unhappy and is not accorded the desired approval by
society, resulting in the subsequent experience of difficulty when faced with
succeeding developmental tasks. This theory presents the individual as an active
learner who continually interacts with a similarly active social environment.
Havighurst proposed a bio psychosocial model of development, wherein the
developmental tasks at each stage are influenced by the individual’s biology
(physiological maturation and genetic makeup), his psychology (personal values and
goals) and sociology (specific culture to which the individual belongs)

Reading: THE PASSAGE TO ADULTHOOD: CHALLENGES OF LATE

ADOLESCENCE
Physical Development
 Most girls have completed the physical changes related to puberty by age 15.
 Boys are still maturing and gaining strength, muscle mass, and height and
are completing the development of sexual traits.
Emotional Development
 May stress over school and test scores.
 Is self-involved (may have high expectations and low self-concept).
 Seeks privacy and time alone.
 Is concerned about physical and sexual attractiveness.
 May complain that parents prevent him or her from doing things
independently.
 Starts to want both physical and emotional intimacy in relationships.
 The experience of intimate Social Development
 shifts in relationship with parents from dependency and subordination to one
that reflects the adolescent’s increasing maturity and responsibilities in the
family and the community,
 Is more and more aware of social behaviors of friends.
 Seeks friends that share the same beliefs, values, and interests.
 Friends become more important.
 Starts to have more intellectual interests.
 Explores romantic and sexual behaviors with others.
 May be influenced by peers to try risky behaviors (alcohol, tobacco, sex).
Mental Development
 Becomes better able to set goals and think in terms of the future.
 Has a better understanding of complex problems and issues.
 Starts to develop moral ideals and to select role models.

Reading: STRESS MANAGEMENT

Dictionary definitions do not quite capture the meaning of stress as it is seen
and experienced in the world of work. One of the Webster’s definitions describes it
as an “…emotional factor that causes bodily or mental tension.”
A practical way of defining stress is the feeling one gets from prolonged,
pent-up emotions. If the emotions you experience are pleasant and desirable – joy,
elation, ecstasy, delight – you usually feel free to let them show. They are not

suppressed. Therefore; positive emotions do not usually cause stress. Negative

emotions, on the other hand, are more often held inside. They are hidden. You suffer
quietly and you experience stress. Do not confuse positive situations with positive
emotions. A wedding, for example, is a positive situation that often brings about the
negative emotions of anxiety and tension. So stress can exist in great situations.
Causes and Effects of Stress
Just as there is great variety in the range of emotions you might experience,
there are many possible manifestations of stress – in your private life and in your
working life. Here are some words that describe the emotions associated (as cause
and effect) with stress.
 Anxiety
 Pressure
 Misery
 Strain
 Desperation
 Tension
 Anger
 Panic
 Dejection
Prolonged stress can be devastating; burnout, breakdown, and depression
are some of the potential results of long-term, unmanaged stress. By wearing a
mask, you may expect to hide stress caused by problems in your personal life and
not let them influence your performance on the job. This will probably not work. The
more you try to hold your emotions in, the greater the pressure build-up will be.

Everyday frustrations cause stress build-up

From the time you wake up until you go to sleep, you may be confronted with
a succession of stressful situations. Managing to get yourself (and possibly a spouse
and children) out of bed and ready to face the day can be a challenge to your
patience and ingenuity. Driving to school or work can be harrowing – especially if
you’re running late. You may experience frustration in arranging to get the car
repaired. You may face conflicts in school or at work, such as coping with unrealistic
deadlines, equipment failures, or unexpected bad weather. If part of your job is
selling, you may experience feelings of rejection when most of your customers say
“no.”
A series of stressful and frustrating experiences throughout the day can
cause you to lie awake at night in an emotional turmoil – unable to get needed rest.
You face the next day with less emotional and physical stamina. After another
stressful day and another night without rest, you may have even less emotional
strength and stability. Therefore, stress build-up, if not resolved, continues day after
day.

Problems in our personal life can be devastating

Surviving the normal, everyday stress described above can be difficult. But
far more serious and painful circumstances can create long-term stress. More
serious stressful circumstances may include separation from loved ones, personal
illness, or illness of a loved one, death of someone you care about, or conflict with a
spouse or close friend. Other major causes of stress are problems with drug and
alcohol abuse, domestic violence, care of children and elderly relatives, chronic
mental illness, injury, physical handicaps, even moving to a new home, if you’ve lived
in the same place for more than 10 years. The list goes on and on.
Managing your personal finances can be another stressful experience. This
can be a problem no matter what your income level, but it is especially difficult if you
must support a family and do not earn enough to live comfortably. Unpaid bills,
unwise use of credit, and budget limitations can make life difficult.

A common cause of stress is dealing with life’s transitions

This is especially true when a person must cope with too many transitions all
at once. For example, Ellen has just completed a program in fashion merchandising.
She is eager to get started on her new job. Her mother is ill and requires care. Her
father died a few months ago. Ellen’s new job requires that she relocate to a town
100 miles from home. The move, a new career, and a change in family relationships
may cause excessive stress for her. Too many changes have arrived at the same
time.

Reading: STRESS RESPONSE

Your stress response is the collection of physiological changes that occur
when you face a perceived threat—when you face situations where you feel the
demands outweigh your resources to successfully cope. These situations are known
as stressors.
When your stress response is triggered, a series of changes occur within
your body. They include:

 Redirection of blood away from extremities and instead to major organs

 The release of cortisol and other hormones, which bring other short- and
long-term changes.
 The stress response is intended to give you a burst of energy so you’re able
to fight off attackers or run away from them effectively.
This helped our ancestors, who faced numerous physical threats, to stay safe.
However, now our threats tend to be less physical and more associated with our way
of life—a challenge to our status, a demand for performance, etc. In addition to
giving us a set of changes that may not match our needs as well (it might be more
effective for us to have a burst of mental clarity or wisdom than a burst of physical
strength, for example), the stress response can actually cause harm if it leads to a
state of chronic stress—that is, if our stress response is triggered, and then our body
doesn’t go back to its normal state via the relaxation response

Reading: KEEP STRESS UNDER CONTROL

There are many effective ways to handle stress. Of course, you can’t avoid
stress—in fact, you wouldn’t want to avoid all stress, because you’d never grow.
However, you can manage your life so that you survive the emotional down times
without allowing stress to engulf you. Also, you can work to eliminate controllable
stress factors, such as running late or not getting enough sleep. But when stress is
constant or too great, your wisest option is to find ways to reduce or control it. You
need not, and should not, live your life in emotional stress and discomfort. Stress can
be successfully managed. Here are some suggestions that may help.
Understand the Causes of Stress
Understanding why you are under stress is important. This may seem
obvious, but it requires deliberate, conscious effort to pause and simply ponder your
situation. By now, you are familiar with the stress response, the emotional or
physical symptoms of uncontrolled stress. Now you need to try to discover the
stressors, the factors of which create the stress in your life.
Analyze your Stress Factors and Write Them Down
Write down your response to stress. For example, you may write down, “I feel
tired most of the time. My lower back seems to ache all through the day and night. I
miss deadlines and run behind schedule.” Analyze stress responses and
consequences, and consider each item, and ask why. “Why am I feeling tired? Why
does my back ache? Why do I run behind schedule? Carefully consider each
answer, because the answers will reveal stressors, such as deadlines, anxieties,
trying to do so much, managing time or money poorly, or poor health habits.

Deal with the Stressors

Develop techniques to deal with the causes of stress. The longer you avoid
dealing with the stress factors, the more the stress will build up. If tension comes
because you have put off an unfinished task, restructure your priorities so you can
get the task that you have been avoiding out of the way and off your mind.
Learn to Work under Pressure or Unusual Conditions
When you can’t reduce the stressors, you need to manage your stress
response. Almost everyone, at least at some point, has to meet deadlines, keep
several jobs going at once, resolve problems that come up, and do extra work when
necessary. However, when the pressure mounts, you can relieve it. Relaxation is
key—but most people must train themselves to relax when the pressure is on.
Some tips to relax when under pressure are the following:
 Stop for a moment (especially when you feel your muscles tightening up) and
take a few deep breaths.
 Do a relaxing exercise. Swing your hands at your sides and stretch.
 Take a “power nap.” Lie down and totally relax for a few minutes.
 Find time to do the things you enjoy.
 Leave your study area for a while to take a brisk walk.
 Find a quiet place to read a magazine or novel during break or at lunch.
 If possible, look at some peaceful images such as forests, beaches, etc.
These images can initiate a relaxation response.
 Look up.
 Keep something humorous on hand, such as a book of jokes.