Your success will be determined by your own
confidence and fortitude.
Michelle Obama
Module Two: Understanding Confidence
The way we interact with the world around us is strongly influenced
by our self-beliefs. Building confidence and assertiveness is a process
that develops over time and through personal life experience. Self-
confidence often comes from successful experiences; accordingly, it
will also lead to achieving additional successful experiences. There’s
great value in being able to place healthy boundaries on our
professional and personal lives. It allows us to gain more control of
the situations we are faced with each day, and maintain a positive
attitude. Without confidence, it can be difficult to focus on future
successes and personal development. Confidence and assertiveness
are skills that are important for everyone.
Defining Confidence and Assertiveness
Confidence and assertiveness are intrinsic to one another. Confidence is the
feeling of positive regard and belief in oneself, as well as in one’s own abilities.
It plays a significant role in the ability to meet or exceed potential. Feelings of
confidence inspire our choices that will shape our future, and helps to provides
stability when challenging situations arise. Self-beliefs will make a difference in
whether a situation is successful or not. A self-confident individual is able to
control their own thoughts and emotions, while influencing those around them.
Ultimately, optimism and greater life satisfaction is achieved.
Assertiveness is the ability to communicate the confidence that is built. Being assertive is not about
dominance, but rather expressing opinions in a positive, respectful, and confident manner. It involves
knowing what we want, as well as what boundaries need to be set. Assertive individuals are clear and
direct, without being aggressive. This key skill will help to better manage difficult situations, people,
and oneself. By building assertiveness, we are building our voice to be heard.
Estimated Time 10 minutes
Topic Objective To define confidence and assertiveness.
Topic Summary Confidence is the feeling of positive regard and belief in oneself, as well as in
one’s own abilities. Assertiveness is the ability to communicate the
confidence that is built.
Materials Required Worksheet 1: Exploring My Confidence
Planning Checklist Provide enough worksheet printouts for all participants.
Recommended Activity Have participants complete Worksheet 1: Exploring My Confidence.
Allow time to discuss worksheet responses.
Stories to Share Share any personal, relevant stories.
Delivery Tips This activity is personal- participants may not wish to share their
experiences.
Review Questions How are confidence and assertiveness intrinsic to one another?
Types of Confidence
Confidence is connected to everything we do in life. The ability to build
confidence can come in two forms; internal and external. Internal confidence
is how we view and feel about ourselves. It comes from inner sources, such as
thoughts, growth, and personal values. Internal confidence can alter based on
the situations we encounter, and how we respond to them. Self-esteem and
self-compassion make up a large part of internal confidence. These aspects
have a strong and direct impact on how we pursue goals and take risks.
Generally, our internal confidence is more important to our happiness and well-being.
External factors also play a role in our confidence. External confidence comes from factors such as our
praise, status, physical attributes, and how others view us. Validation and feedback from others can
boost our confidence and inspire us to keep acting in a positive way. However, they can also have a
negative effect on one’s self-esteem and internal confidence. While projecting confidence to others is
important in the workplace, it is critical that we pay attention to how we feel internally.
Estimated Time 10 minutes
Topic Objective To differentiate between internal and external confidence.
Topic Summary Internal confidence is how we view and feel about ourselves. External
confidence comes from factors such as our praise, status, physical attributes,
and how others view us.
Materials Required Worksheet 2: Sources of Confidence
Planning Checklist Provide enough worksheet printouts for all participants.
Recommended Activity Have participants complete Worksheet 2: Sources of Confidence.
Allow time to discuss worksheet responses.
Stories to Share Share any personal, relevant stories.
Delivery Tips This activity is personal- participants may not wish to share their
experiences.
Review Questions What are the two main forms of confidence?
The Benefits of Assertiveness
Adopting an assertive mindset has many great opportunities and benefits.
Assertiveness comes with a sense of empowerment, as well as the chance to
be in a position of equality. It encourages individuals to work alongside one
another in a healthy and constructive manner. Assertive communicators
display confidence in leadership roles, while remaining empathetic to those
around them. They are able to communicate their needs with authority and
ensure others receive their needs as well. Confidence and assertiveness are
significant factors in building a productive, respectful, and successful team. With time and
commitment, everyone is capable of building assertiveness and confidence skills.
Being assertive offers many great benefits, including:
• Improved communication
• Better problem-solving and conflict resolution
• The ability to negotiate successful solutions
• Decreased stress and anxiety
• Greater job satisfaction
• Gained respect from others
Estimated Time 7 minutes
Topic Objective To explore the benefits of being assertive in the workplace.
Topic Summary Confidence and assertiveness are significant factors in building a
productive, respectful, and successful team.
Materials Required Flipchart/board, markers
Planning Checklist None
Recommended Activity Have participants discuss additional benefits of being assertive in a
company or organization. List these responses on the flipchart/board.
Stories to Share Share any personal, relevant stories.
Delivery Tips Encourage everyone to participate.
Review Questions What is a benefit of adopting an assertive mindset?
Distinguishing the Styles
Effective communication is an important life skill. There are times when
communication is shared directly, whereas other times it can be more indirect.
Everyone has their own way of communicating with others, in which the most
powerful communication can build meaningful connections. To communicate
to others in a strong and effective way, it’s essential to express our needs in a
clear and respectful manner. There are four basic styles of communication;
passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive communication.
Here is a break-down of the four communication styles:
• Passive: This style involves the avoidance of expressing feelings or opinions, in order to protect
themselves. Passive communicators do not assert for themselves, speaks apologetically, and
allows others to violate their rights. Examples of passive communication includes continual
permission-asking, constant apologies, and avoiding disagreements.
• Aggressive: This style can be hostile or defensive. Aggressive communication includes
expressing ideas and needs at the expense of another individual. Examples of aggressive
communication can be placing blame on others or issuing commands.
• Passive-aggressive: This style is similar to passive communication, but uses indirect
communication to express negative feelings. Passive-aggressive communicators are indirectly
aggressive, as opposed to being directly aggressive. Examples of passive-aggressive
communication includes the spreading of rumors, acting stubbornly, or the silent treatment.
• Assertive: This style is the most effective. Assertive communication is honest and direct with
sharing thoughts, while also maintaining respect to the thoughts and feelings of others. An
example of assertive communication is the use of I statements to share information.
Estimated Time 10 minutes
Topic Objective To distinguish between the four styles of communication.
Topic Summary There are four basic styles of communication; passive, aggressive,
passive-aggressive, and assertive communication.
Materials Required Worksheet 3: Ways of Responding
Planning Checklist Provide enough worksheet printouts for all participants.
Recommended Activity Have participants complete Worksheet 3: Ways of Responding.
Discuss worksheet responses.
Stories to Share Share any personal, relevant stories.
Delivery Tips Encourage everyone to participate.
Review Questions What are the four basic styles of communication and how do they
differentiate from one another?
Signs of Low Self-Confidence
Confidence is an essential part of a healthy life, as well as a key factor of
building a successful and honoring career; it’s the fuel to continue moving
forward. However, there are times when low self-confidence and feelings of
self-doubt may present themselves. Feelings of inferiority, insecurity, and
uncertainty can prevent us from accomplishing great things. We may withdraw
from situations due to the fear of failure or ridicule. Low self-confidence may be
brought on from career issues, a poor self-image, previous trauma, or critical
authority figures. Whatever the cause, it’s important to not allow poor confidence to take over.
Signs of low self-confidence may include:
• Worrying about what others may think
• Self-neglect
• Being socially withdrawn
• Unaccepting of compliments or new challenges
• Making excuses and blaming others
• Not trusting personal judgment
Estimated Time 10 minutes
Topic Objective To identify the signs of low self-confidence and the circumstances that
impact confidence.
Topic Summary Low self-confidence may be brought on from career issues, a poor self-
image, previous trauma, or critical authority figures.
Materials Required Worksheet 4: Gaining Confidence
Planning Checklist Provide enough worksheet printouts for all participants.
Recommended Activity Have participants complete Worksheet 4: Gaining Confidence.
Allow time to discuss worksheet responses.
Stories to Share Share any personal, relevant stories.
Delivery Tips This activity is personal- participants may not wish to share their
experiences.
Review Questions What is a sign that an individual may be experiencing low self-
confidence?
Practical Illustration
Izzy has recently started training to take over as the customer support
specialist. Her coworker and current customer support specialist, Donovan,
has been very helpful with training and teaching her all about handling difficult
customers, maintaining client relationships, and responding professionally.
After a week of training, Izzy was informed that Donovan was going on
vacation and was asked to cover his position while he was away. Izzy
immediately felt anxious. She did not feel as though she was assertive enough
to take on this role, and was worried about what others would think. While everyone around her
believed that she could do it, Izzy did not internally feel confident.
Donovan reminded Izzy of the excellent work she had done in the past week. She had many skills, such
as strong communication and conflict resolution, that she displayed throughout her week of training.
Izzy began to shift her thoughts and gain optimism on this opportunity. While Donovan was enjoying
his vacation, Izzy was able to support many customers. With each support call, Izzy’s confidence grew.
She was beginning to feel happier about her decision, and felt proud of herself for owning her voice
and overcoming feelings of insecurity. The following week after Donovan had returned, he received a
phone call from a customer that expressed their appreciation for the company’s kindness and
professionalism from the week prior.
Module Two: Review Questions
1) What is confidence?
a) The feeling of positive regard and belief in oneself
b) Feelings of inferiority, insecurity, and uncertainty
c) To take accountability for one’s own actions
d) Feelings of superiority over another
Confidence is the feeling of positive regard and belief in oneself, as well as in one’s own
abilities.
2) Assertiveness is all about dominance.
a) True
b) False
False- Being assertive is not about dominance, but rather expressing opinions in a positive,
respectful, and confident manner.
3) What is internal confidence?
a) Confidence that comes from validation and feedback
b) How we view and feel about ourselves
c) The same thing as external confidence
d) Confidence that comes from praise, status, and how others perceive us
Internal confidence is how we view and feel about ourselves.
4) Which of the following is not a benefit of assertiveness in the workplace?
a) Improved communication
b) Greater job satisfaction
c) Increased job turnover
d) Gained respect from others
Improved communication, greater job satisfaction, and gained respect from others are all
benefits of assertiveness in the workplace.
5) Which of the following is not one of the four basic styles of communication?
a) Assertive
b) Passive-assertive
c) Aggressive
d) Passive-aggressive
There are four basic styles of communication, including passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive,
and assertive communication.
6) Which style of communication includes expressing ideas and needs at the expense of others?
a) Passive
b) Aggressive
c) Passive-aggressive
d) Assertive
Aggressive communication includes expressing ideas and needs at the expense of another
individual.
7) The avoidance of disagreements may be an example of which style of communication?
a) Passive
b) Aggressive
c) Passive-aggressive
d) Assertive
Examples of passive communication includes continual permission-asking, constant apologies,
and avoiding disagreements.
8) ______ communication is honest and direct with sharing thoughts, while maintaining respect
to others.
a) Aggressive
b) Assertive
c) Reflective
d) Passive
Assertive communication is honest and direct with sharing thoughts, while also maintaining
respect to the thoughts and feelings of others.
9) Which of the following can lead to low self-confidence?
a) Previous trauma
b) Career issues
c) Poor self-image
d) All of the above
Low self-confidence may be brought on from career issues, a poor self-image, previous trauma,
or critical authority figures.
10) Which of the following is a sign of low self-confidence?
a) Unaccepting of compliments
b) Trusting personal judgment
c) Not worrying what others will think
d) Having an open mind
Signs of low self-confidence include worrying about what others may think, self-neglect, being
socially withdrawn, unaccepting of compliments, and not trusting personal judgment.
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TW
Without con dence, it can be di cult to focus on future
successes and personal development. Con dence and
asser veness are skills that are important for everyone.
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Sample Worksheet 1
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Icebreaker: A New Leader
PURPOSE
To help participants get acquainted and start talking to each other.
MATERIALS REQUIRED
1. Index cards
PREPARATION
Write the name of a different famous person on five or six index cards. Some examples: Madonna, Tiger
Woods, Lance Armstrong, Nelson Mandela, Bill Gates, Angelina Jolie.
Divide participants into groups of four to six. Give each group one of the cards.
ACTIVITY
Tell participants that the president of their company (or the head of their department) has resigned and
the position is now being taken over by the person on their index card. Ask each group to think of one
characteristic of this person that will help him or her do well in this new role.
After a few minutes, ask the groups to report on what they decided.
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CERTIFICATE OF COMPLETION
[Name]
Has mastered the course
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Building Confidence and Assertiveness
Awarded this _______ day of ______e____, 20___
Presenter Name and Title
