TINY

TS
EXPERIMENTS

N
O
How to Live
ive
ve Freely
Freel

TI
in a Goal-Obsessed
sessed World
W

U
IB
TR
IS
D

ANNE-
NE LA
LAURE LE CUNFF
R
FO
T
O
N

Avery
an imprint of Penguin Random House
New York
 N
an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC

O
penguinrandomhouse.com

TI
Copyright © 2025 by Anne-Laure Le Cunff nff
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Book design by Angie Boutin

 Contents

N
Introduction: Goodbye, Linear Life 13

O
TI
PACT: COMMIT TO CURIOSITY

U
1. Why Goal Setting Is Broken 25

IB
2. Escaping the Tyranny of Purpose 39
3. A Pact to Turn Doubts into Experiments
ents 55
TR
ACT: PRACTICE MINDFUL PRODUCTIVITY
DUCTIVIT
DUCTIVITY
IS

4. A Deeper Sense of Time

e 73
D

5. Procrastination Is Not the

th Enemy
Ene 97
R

6. The Power of Intentional

ntention Imperfection
ntentional 115
FO

LL BORAT
BOR
REACT: COLLABORATE WITH UNCERTAINTY
7. Creating
eating Growth
Gro
G Loops 129
T

8.. The Se
Secret to Better Decisions
Secr 147
O

9. How to Dance with Disruption 161

N

IMPACT: GROW WITH THE WORLD

10. How to Unlock Social Flow 175
11. Learning in Public 191
12. Life Beyond Legacy 217

Conclusion: Hello, Experimental Life 235

 INTRODUCTION
Goodbye, Linear Life

N
O
TI
U
IB
“Are you sure?” my manager asked ed me, with
w genuine con-
cern. I was twenty-seven, livingng in San Francisco, and had
TR
just turned in my resignationn from Google.
Go
G I was voluntarily
IS

leaving what had been my dream job: amazing pay, interna-

tional travel, challenging
ng work that matched my skills, inter-
D

esting colleagues, and sseemingly

eem no limit to the heights I
R

could achieve iff I con

continued
contin climbing the corporate ladder.
FO

When I got this job fresh

f out of university, my parents were
happier than
ha I’d ever
ev seen them. And so was I! It was a chance
to be part of tthe heartland of the tech world.
T

So my mmanager’s question made sense. No, I wasn’t sure I

O

was doing
doin the right thing. But I didn’t say that. Instead I nod-
do
N

ded confidently, gave her a hug, and thanked her for these
formative years.
The question you’re probably asking is why.
Google’s headquarters in California was an unlikely place
for me to end up. I’m French Algerian and I was raised in Paris.
My mother was born in Sidi Okba, Algeria, known in ancient
times as “the city of magic” because of its extraordinary
INTRODUCTION

propensity to attract spiritual leaders. At the doors of the

Sahara Desert, Sidi Okba was a gateway where Arabs and
Bedouins met for the commerce of spices, camels, and fab-
rics. My father was born in the fortified French city of Dinan,
which for many centuries was a strategic place to circulate
between Normandy and Brittany. It is known for one of the
largest medievalist events in Europe, where people gather to
celebrate the city walls with annual themes such as “gates tes to
ates
the imagination” or “the times of builders.”

N
Christmas in my family meant halal turkeyy and cha cham-

O
pagne. I wore miniskirts to school in France and covered
cover my

TI
hair with a veil when visiting my family in Algeria.
Algeri My fa-
Alger

U
ther, in the French didactic tradition off mathem
mathematics, would

IB
teach me about fractals and chaos theory, w while my mother
would share Arabic proverbs.
TR
Although they came from different worlds, there was one
m differen
IS

point my parents agreed on: the im importance of studying hard

imp
and choosing your career wisely. I was the first woman in my
er wisely
D

family to pursue higher

igher education,
edu encouraged by both my
R

father, who saw w it as the

t path to success, and my mother,
FO

who saw it ass the path

pat to survival. My curriculum—science
and business—was
es was optimized for job prospects.
ess
As a child of the internet, I had always been fascinated
T

withh how pixels

th pix come to life. I spent my teenage years explor-
p
O

ing curiosity in weird and wonderful ways: maintaining a

ng my ccu
N

hand-coded
d blog whose design changed every few weeks,
translating obscure Japanese songs into French, and manag-
ing an online community for young fiction writers. Every
day, millions around the world came online to learn, con-
nect, tinker, and create. There was a sense of mystery as to
how it all worked, as well as a certain reverence for the magi-

14
 INTRODUCTION

cians at companies like Google weaving all those threads to

produce the World Wide Web.
I got my Google interview in a fluke, after nerding out
about the future of technology with a stranger sitting next to
me on a flight to San Francisco. I went through their intense
hiring process and landed the job—the perfect job. I arrived
on campus feeling lucky, along with a dash of impostor syn-
drome.
Google is famously data-driven, so each project ct assigned
assigne

N
to me had clear objectives. Career success was also codi codified

O
around two tangible concepts: the ladder for your role aand the

TI
level for your seniority. The promotion process rocess
ocess wa
was based on

U
a rubric telling you exactly what skills you need to have dem-

IB
onstrated to graduate to the next level. evel. No need
n to guess. No
need to tinker. It was all in there, re, clearly mapped out.
TR
Inspired by my peers, cheeredheered ono by my parents and my
IS

friends back in France, I set out to diligently climb the ladder.

I scheduled my days in n thirty-minute
thirty-
hirty increments, promptly
D

ls, volunteered
replied to all emails, volunte
vol for extra projects, and even
R

arrang one-to-one meetings with mentors

found time to arrange
FO

who helped me plot the tth next steps in my Google career. I was
flown all araaround
und tthe world for conferences and trade shows.
I got promoted
promot and took on a global role in the digital health
T

am.
m. I som
team. so
sometimes had to cancel social plans to work late
O

hours ono presentations, but believed it was worth the sacri-

N

fice. MMy journey was mapped out before me; all I had to do
was keep climbing.

15
INTRODUCTION

FROM ONE LADDER TO ANOTHER

American psychiatrist Irvin Yalom wrote about awakening
experiences—events that shake us from default routines,
crack our defensive barriers, and open new possibilities. Some
of them can be major, such as the loss of a loved one, divorce,
war, and illness. Others can be referred to as “a sort of petite
existential shock therapy”—sobering thoughts that lead d yyou
ad
to reconsider how you are really living. It took a combination
mbination

N
of both to reawaken my consciousness.

O
One morning as I was getting ready for work, I noticedn

TI
my arm had turned purple. I went to the Google infirmary,i

U
where I was sent to the Stanford hospital. al. The doctors
tal. d found

IB
a blood clot that threatened to travel avel to my lungs. Surgery
was required to remove it. I wass so worried
worr about derailing
TR
my team’s ongoing projects that I as asked
ask to delay the opera-
IS

tion so that I could time itt when everyone

ev would be off work
for a company retreat. My manager
mana
man would have been furious
D

if she knew I had done one this,

t s so I didn’t tell her.
th
R

When they picked m up at the hospital after the surgery,

icked me
FO

my friends snapped
napped a group
g picture. I was in the middle, in a
wheelchair, ir, smiling
smiling
mil and holding a bouquet of flowers. My
face looked
ooked the
th same as before the surgery, but already I could
T

feell that som

something had shifted in me. I recovered quickly and
so
O

went ba back to work, kept hitting my targets and supporting

bac
N

my team, but my efforts felt mechanical.

Not long after, I went home to France for Christmas, my
first time back in a year. I was surrounded by friends and
family I hadn’t seen in ages. Someone asked, “How’s life?”
Such a trivial question, and yet . . . When I automatically re-
plied that work-is-great-and-San-Francisco-is-nice-thank-you,
I noticed for the first time how inert my voice sounded.

16
 INTRODUCTION

How was life, really?

I hadn’t ever asked myself this. I was too busy, always
focused on finishing the next deliverable or hitting a bigger
target. And I was living the dream—so of course everything
must be great.
Separated from San Francisco by thousands of miles, I
finally let myself honestly confront the question. Life wasn’t
terrible, but it wasn’t great, either. I was likely burned d out,
ed
but that was only a symptom of the problem. I was as so con-
con

N
sumed by the routine, the rubric, and the nextt rung on the

O
ladder that I had lost the ability to notice anything else. I

TI
stopped asking what I wanted out of myy day or even e out of

U
my future.

IB
And despite this relentless grind, d, I was also
al finding myself
getting bored. While I had spent nt my younger
youn
you life guided by a
TR
genuine yearning to learn and nd grow,
grow I was now following a
IS

prescribed path trodden by so ma many colleagues before me.

man
Realizing how I felt was like lik an electric shock. Many peo-
D

ple are able to build rewarding,

ld a rre wa balanced life on the foun-
R

dation of a job at Google.

Google I was not one of them. On my first
Goog
FO

day back in the office after the holiday, I quit.

In hindsight,
nd ght, I could have used a reflective pause after quit-
ndsi
ting, but I wa wasn’t able to sit with the fear and anxiety of hav-
was
T

ingg gone from

fro
fr celebrated employee to unemployed nobody. My
O

mom wa was already worried I was headed for the homeless shel-
w
N

ter. SSo I immediately threw myself into the next socially sanc-
tified adventure: after working at a Big Tech company to grow
your professional network and save up some money, break
off the golden handcuffs to build a company of your own.
I moved back to Europe and founded a tech startup.
Within a year, the young company was highlighted as one
of “the healthcare startups you need to know about” in

17
INTRODUCTION

WIRED magazine. I broke up with my first cofounder but

then was accepted into a prestigious startup accelerator,
where I met a new cofounder. We spent an inordinate amount
of time building pitch decks and meeting with potential busi-
ness partners. I was so busy, I didn’t notice I had jumped
from one kind of hyperfocused, outcome-driven pursuit to
another.
Only when we failed to advance to the next stage of the
accelerator and had to shut down the company did d I allow

N
myself to sit still for a moment. In truth, I had d no cho
choi
choice.

O
There was no obvious next step. After years of hustlin
hustling, I fi-

TI
nally went to a place I had never allowed my adult self to go

U
to before: I admitted that I was lost.

IB
ng
And that was the most liberating g though
thought I’d ever had.
TR
IS

ON THE DOORSTEP
OORSTEP
ORSTEP OF CHANGE
D

You might be familiar iliar

liar w
with
th the Hero’s Journey, a narrative
R

pattern first described

cribed bby mythologist Joseph Campbell in his
FO

influential bookok The Hero

H with a Thousand Faces, one found
in stories across
ac oss cultures
acr cu and time. We face challenges, de-
scend into the abyss of the unknown, and must find the re-
T

sources
urces break a path and reemerge transformed. Just like
rces to b
O

in
n the myths,
my
m life is made of cycles of being lost and finding
N

ourselves
l again.
Feeling lost and free, I started thinking about my in-
between time not as a dead end to escape, but as a space
worth exploring. And with that mindset, I quickly became
reacquainted with an old friend and ally: curiosity.
Not having a clear playbook to follow opened a world of
possibility. I paid attention to the conversations that ener-

18
 INTRODUCTION

gized me and the topics that drew me in. I took online courses.
I attended workshops. I bought books for pure pleasure. All
the while, I freelanced to maintain a source of income. I felt
like my old self again, and I loved her. I wasn’t falling off a
cliff. Rather, I was living in my own Choose Your Own Ad-
venture novel.
My curiosity kept leading me back to the human brain.
Why do we think the way we think and feel the way wee ffeel?
The more books I read, the more intrigued I became, me, until I

N
eventually decided to return to school to study neuroscie
neuroscience.

O
This time, I didn’t have a grand plan. I just stt wanted to ex-

TI
plore, learn, and grow. I was wholeheartedly tedly stepping
rtedly ste
step into

U
the unknown.

IB
Although I was in a formal program,
rogram, I didn’t want my
curiosity to stop flowing. Inspired ed by the experimental mind-
TR
set taught in scientific training, aske myself: What experi-
ng, I asked
ask
ment could I run on myy own life lif that would bring me an
IS

intrinsic sense of fulfillment, whatever the outcome?

ment, w
D

I love writing, so I made

made a pact with myself to write and
R

share 100 articles

cles 1 workdays, drawing on my univer-
les in 100
FO

sity studies and per personal readings. I wrote about mental

health att work,
w
work, crcreativity, and mindful productivity.
Sharing
haring my
m work daily was terrifying at first. I felt naked.
T

I was admitting to the world that I was a work in progress, as

as admit
adm
O

everything
was eve
ever I wrote. My only anchor was the pact itself. I
N

resisted
t the urge to clarify my end goal and solely focused on
showing up. It wasn’t always easy to do, so I leaned into self-
reflection. I took notes and journaled. I watched for signs of
burnout and played with various formats—such as shorter
articles for when life got busy.
Slowly, a path emerged. I finished the 100 articles and
decided to keep going. My newsletter grew steadily to one

19
INTRODUCTION

hundred thousand readers. I called it Ness Labs, a combina-

tion of the suffix –ness, which describes the quality of being
(which you find in words such as awareness, consciousness,
mindfulness), and labs, as I wanted it to be a laboratory for
personal experimentation. People wrote emails to thank me
for helping them turn chaos into creativity, for sharing tools
to reduce their anxiety, and for opening doors to parts of
their minds they had been afraid of exploring. Others ask asked
if I would ever create a course or write a book.

N
I kept on with my studies, and today, as a neuroscientist,
euroscient
uroscient

O
I investigate how different brains learn differently
ntly using
ently usin tech-

TI
nologies such as electroencephalography and eye eye-tracking.
ye

U
Ness Labs has turned into a thriving small business with an
mall busi

IB
amazing team. I get to speak and write abo about topics I care
about.
TR
The uncertainty of my future
ture isn’t
isn’ gone, and yet each day
IS

I wake up excited to discover

over what
cover wha new crossroads life will
wh
present to me. I’m alwaysays on the lookout for new experi-
D

ments. I’m not rushing

hing to gget to a specific destination. I’m
R

playing a different
ent game:
gam a game of noticing, questioning,
game
FO

and adapting. g.
T
O

TOOLS FOR THE IN-BETWEENS

N

Uncertainty has so much to teach us. We experience it not

just in big life transitions, but in lesser moments of ambiguity,
such as the “messy middle” of a project, when we’d like to
throw in the towel. When we find ourselves in these precari-
ous moments, our automatic response is too often fear or
anxiety. And so we rush toward a defined outcome to escape
it, as I did with my startup.

20
 INTRODUCTION

But there is another way: the experimental way.

I’ve spent the past years at Ness Labs developing tools
that help us live lives of joyful experimentation. My pact of
100 articles was the beginning of a new approach to growth—
distilled in this book—based on research and what I learned
teaching thousands of people how to implement its principles.
Through empirical study and personal experience, I have iso-
lated a set of practices that are an antidote to burnout outut and
boredom alike—a counterforce to the fear, overwhelm, helm, con-
con

N
fusion, and loneliness many people I know are feeling
eeling as they
t

O
try to apply old notions of success to the worldrld living
ld we’re li
l in

TI
today.

U
This book isn’t a step-by-step recipepe for accomplishing
acc a

IB
specific goal. Rather, it offers a sett of tools you can adapt to
discover and achieve your own wn ggoals—especially
oals— if these
TR
goals fall outside the well-defined
fined ambitions
efined amb
am suggested by so-
IS

ciety.
Together, these tools
ls will enrich
en your life with systematic
D

curiosity—a consciousious commitment

cious co
c m to inhabit the space be-
R

tween what you u know anand what you don’t, not with fear and
FO

anxiety but with interest

inte and openness. Systematic curiosity
provides an u unshakable certitude in your ability to grow even
unsh
unsha
when the ex exact path forward is uncertain, with the knowl-
exac
T

edge
ge that your
dge y actions can align with your most authentic
O

ambitions.
ambitio
ambition
N

IIn the following four parts of the book, you will learn
how to:

• Get started by committing to curiosity.

• Keep going by practicing mindful productivity.
• Stay flexible by collaborating with uncertainty.
• Dream bigger by growing with the world.

21
INTRODUCTION

You are about to replace an old linear model of success

with an experimental model of personal and professional
growth. In this new model, your goals will be discovered,
pursued, and adapted—not in a vacuum, but in conversation
with the larger world. You will ask big questions and design
tiny experiments to find the answers. You will become com-
fortable with following a nonlinear path, where each cross-
roads is a call for adventure.
This way of life is based on ancestral wisdom andnd backed

N
by modern scientific knowledge. It shows that when lean
hen you le

O
into your curiosity, uncertainty can be a state te of expanded
ate exp

TI
possibility, a space for metamorphosis. It’st’s a way
wa to turn

U
challenges into triggers for self-discovery
ery and doubt into a
very

IB
source of opportunity. Get ready for an exciting
ex new era:
your experimental life.
TR
IS
D
R
FO

22
 1
Why Goal Setting Is Broken

N
O
TI
U
IB
It was raining as the woman climbed mbed out ofo her plane, her
legs shaky from the long flight. She looked
looke around, taking in
look
TR
the unfamiliar surroundings, s, unsure
unsur of where she was. She
IS

had landed in a big field with a b beautiful view of woodland

be
and water. This definitely ely didn’t
didn’ look like Paris, her intended
didn
D

destination. But shehe didn’t

didn t have
did h much time to enjoy the pan-
R

orama; soon her er plane w was surrounded by hundreds of lo-

FO

cals, curiouss to meet tthe famous Miss Amelia Earhart. When

a farmer asked
as ed her,
ask her “Have you flown far?” she replied: “From
h
America.”
ica.”
T

Yes, shshe had done it: though technical issues with her
O

plane and
aan bad weather had forced her to land in Northern
N

Ireland, she had become the first woman to fly solo across the
Atlantic.
Amelia Earhart is renowned for this incredible feat, but
few people know that she had made the same trip less than
five years prior, albeit in very different circumstances. Then
unable to make a living as a pilot, she was working as a social
worker for low-income immigrants when she received a
TINY EXPERIMENTS

strange phone call: She could be the first woman to fly across

the Atlantic, but she would not be allowed to pilot the plane—
she was to be a mere passenger. The female passenger who
was initially supposed to fly with them had deemed the jour-
ney too risky.
Earhart was already an experienced aviator; she could
have turned down the offer and waited for a better opportu-
nity. But she said yes and negotiated to be in charge of the
logbook so she would at least have an active role. Itt was thi this

N
first experience that allowed her to unlock the necessary re-

O
sources to try to cross the Atlantic again, this iss time with
w her
wi

TI
own plane.

U
Even less known are the myriad of other experiments
exp she

IB
performed outside of aviation. Flying expensive, so Ear-
ng was ex
hart worked as a clerk for a telephone
phone company.
com She ventured
TR
into portrait photography with ith friend, and when that proj-
th a frie
frien
IS

ect failed, she launched a trucking

truckin
trucki business with another
friend. After she becamee a celebrity,
celebr
celeb she designed a functional
D

clothing line providing

ding comfortable
ing co
com
mfo yet elegant pants “for the
R

woman who lives ves actively.”

es activel
activ She worked as a consultant at
FO

Purdue University
ersity to support women in pursuing tradition-
ally male careers.
ca ers
car ers. She
S also experimented in her personal life.
When she ma married publisher George Palmer Putnam, she told
marr
himm she would
wou not be bound by “any medieval code of faith-
wo
fulness”
ulness” and
a openly took fellow aviator Gene Vidal as a lover.
And those notes she captured during her first transatlan-
A
tic flight? She published them as her first book.
We are told that success is the result of extraordinary
gifts or exceptional grit. But rather than some innate quality
or the single-minded pursuit of a big dream, endless curiosity
is what enabled Amelia Earhart to discover her path. She saw

26
 WHY GOAL SETTING IS BROKEN

“liking to experiment” as a common thread driving her ac-

tions in life—“the something inside me that has always liked
to try new things.” She was sometimes scared of failing, but
she embraced her fears. She was ambitious, and yet she cared
about having a positive impact. She was driven, and yet she
did not focus on an end goal. She considered adventure to be
worthwhile in itself. All those other facets of her life—a life
of fertile uncertainty—are rarely mentioned in history boo books,
and yet it is precisely the fact that Earhart swerved ved many
man

N
times in the course of becoming an aviator that makes her life

O
so extraordinary. She consistently reinvented her careecareer, ques-

TI
tioned the status quo, and sought to elevate others as she
evate oth

U
forged her own path.

IB
We were all born with this sensee of adventure.
adven
adve It’s in chil-
dren’s nature to experiment and d explore the unknown. They
TR
learn first and foremost through movement, which is consid-
ough mo
mov
IS

ered the foundational skill ill for developing

dev
de emotional, cogni-
tive, and social skills. Children
hildren collect
c and connect information
D

by constantly scouting
uting
ting th
ttheir
eir environment. They try activities
R

beyond their capabilities,

apabiliti they attempt to predict the effects
apabilities
FO

ons, and they

of their actions, t keep asking “Why?”—in fact, chil-
dren ask mom
moree th
tha
than a hundred questions per hour on average.
iling fa
By failing fast and often, they learn from every experience
T

to propel tth
themselves forward. Children are insatiable adven-
O

urers.
turers.
N

B
But then something changes. We are taught to perform,
in both meanings of the word: to achieve specific targets
whether in school or at work, but also to present ourselves in
a way that conforms with societal expectations. While some
manage to preserve an attitude of childlike adventure, keep-
ing their options open, always on the lookout for hints of what

27
TINY EXPERIMENTS

may be coming, most of us cling to what we know. When we

consider our professional future, we seek a legible story, one
that provides the appearance of stability, with a cohesive nar-
rative and clear steps to success. If everything goes well, we
get hired to provide answers based on our expertise—not
questions based on our curiosity. We begin caring about what
people think of us and we project an image of confidence,
focusing on self-packaging over self-improvement. Wee wel- w
come anything that provides the perception of control— ontrol—

N
ment
whether it’s a productivity tool, a time managementent meth
method,

O
or a goal-setting framework.

TI
uriosity tto narrow
This common shift from boundless curiosity

U
determination is at the heart of why thee traditional
tradition approach
traditio

IB
to goals keeps on letting us down; it impedes
impede our creativity
imped
and prevents us from seeing and d seizing n
new opportunities.
TR
IS

THE TRAP
RAP OF LINEAR GOALS
D
R

Philosophers were ere

re alrea
already discussing goal setting more than
FO

two thousand ago.

d years ag
a “Let all your efforts be directed to
something, g, let
let it keep
ke that end in view,” advised Seneca. For
Epictetus,
tus, goal
goa setting was a matter of clarity and determina-
T

tion:
n:: “First ssay to yourself what you would be, and then do
O

what yoyou have to do.”

N

In the 1960s, American psychologist Edwin Locke was

inspired by the work of those ancient philosophers. His goal-
setting theory set off a flurry of research into the relationship
between goals and performance. One of those goal-setting
frameworks, devised in the early 1980s, advocated for spe-
cific, measurable, assignable, realistic, and timely goals—which

28
 WHY GOAL SETTING IS BROKEN

you may have heard of as SMART goals.* This framework is

still used to this day by thousands of companies around the
world and has escaped the sphere of management to perme-
ate the sphere of personal development.
All these approaches to goal setting are based on linear
goals: they were created for controlled environments that
lend to readily measurable outcomes with predictable time-
lines.
The linear way is wildly out of sync with the lives ves we live
liv

N
today. The challenges we’re facing and the dreams pur-
ms we’re p

O
suing are increasingly hard to define, measure, re, and pin
ure, p to a

TI
set schedule. In fact, a common challenge ge for many
ma people
m

U
these days is feeling stuck when it comes their next steps:
mes to the

IB
instead of providing a motivating force, the idea of setting a
well-defined goal is paralyzing. When the future is uncertain,
TR
the neat parameters of rigid id ggoal-setting
gid oal s
oal- frameworks are
IS

of little help; it feels like throwing

throwin darts without a target to
aim at.
D

arity in
This lack of clarity i aw world that keeps on changing has
R

pread
led to a widespreadread am
amb
ambivalence toward goals. As journalist
FO

Amil Niazi put it: “No “N goals, just vibes.” Some have even
“
proclaimedmed the
the end
een of ambition, a new era where the concept
of jobb satisfaction
satisfac
satisfa has become a paradox.
T

But amamb
ambition isn’t broken. It is still what it has always
O

been: thtthe innate human desire for growth, a desire that is

N

bothh universal and highly personal. People aren’t broken,

either. They still crave creativity and connection. It’s the way
we set goals that’s broken.

* Alternatives to these words have been proposed over time, and you might
be familiar with a different version that contains, for example, achievable
and relevant, or attainable and resourced.

29
TINY EXPERIMENTS

Notice the vocabulary we use. Goals drive us forward,

we set out to achieve our goals, we make progress toward a
goal. Those are called orientational metaphors—figurative
expressions that involve spatial relationships. Setting a linear
goal entails defining a target state in the future and mapping
out the steps to get there. Success is defined as arriving at the
target.
Because they conflate ambition with the single-minded in
n
pursuit of an end destination, traditional methods of pursu-
pursu

N
ing goals have an effect counter to their intent: they create a
hey creat

O
discouraging perspective where we are far from m success.
om succes Our

TI
satisfaction—the best version of ourselves—lies
s—lies
s— somewhere
lies sso

U
in the future. There are (at least) three other gla
glaring flaws of

IB
linear goals:
TR
Linear goals stimulate fear.ar. Starting
Start
Startin something new is
IS

daunting, especially whenhen it lies far outside our comfort

zone. Because we lack ck the eexpertise that comes with
ack
D

experience, we’re re not sure

ur where to begin. Sometimes
R

the sheer number

mber of options
o leads to analysis paralysis.
FO

We become overwhelmed with choices that we are

me so ov
ove
unablee to
t take
tak action. Other times, we feel like we’re
nott qualifi
qualified enough, and we succumb to self-doubt.
qualifie
T

We think
thin we don’t have the necessary time or financial
O

resources.
resou
resour Or we may start imagining what will happen
N

iff we fail, and anxiety stops us in our tracks.

Linear goals encourage toxic productivity. Researchers

who explored our relationship to idleness found that
“many purported goals that people pursue may be merely
justifications to keep themselves busy.” Focused on re-
lentless plotting and execution, we may develop an overly

30
 WHY GOAL SETTING IS BROKEN

strict mentality in which we believe that if we don’t

complete each task, everything will fall apart. We work
long hours, we feel guilty for taking breaks, we cancel
on friends to do more work. We set unrealistic dead-
lines and blame ourselves when we miss them. We re-
search the perfect productivity tool instead of simply
asking how we feel. We work while sick. Anything to
avoid slowing down on the treadmill of success. Th This
emphasis on speed over sustainable progress leaves
eaves us

N
mentally drained and, ironically, less productive.
ctive.
tive

O
TI
Linear goals breed competition and isolation
isolation. When

U
everyone around us is climbing the same ladder,
lad scram-

IB
bling over one another, we becomecome competitive for all
ome com
the wrong reasons. Even when think of goals as our
en we thin
thi
TR
own individual ladder, we look at a others on theirs and
IS

race toward the top. Either way,

wa linear goals promote
w
an individualistic mentality
entality that can make us view po-
D

tential collaborators
rators as competitors, leading to alien-
R

ation, lack of supp

support, and fewer opportunities. The
suppo
FO

constant comparis
comparison and focus on individual achieve-
compari
ment pre
prevent
pr us from pooling our resources and learn-
vent u
ingg from one
o another, to the detriment of our careers
T

and com
communities.
co
O
N

That
T is partly why ambition has become something of a
dirty word. We assume that being ambitious means following
a pre-written script and climbing a never-ending ladder,
sometimes at the expense of other people. This flaw is not
new, but modern life has created a giant public leaderboard
that amplifies the artificial need to compete. Because of social
media, we compare ourselves to our peers more than ever

31
TINY EXPERIMENTS

before. We are notified of the professional feats of not just

our colleagues but all the people we studied with in school.
We receive constant reminders of the supposedly perfect lives
of everyone in our network. And so our definition of success
keeps on ballooning as we progress.
This phenomenon is called the Red Queen effect. In
Through the Looking-Glass, Alice says to the Queen: “In
our country, you’d generally get to somewhere else—iff yyou
ran very fast for a long time, as we’ve been doing.” To which

N
the Queen replies: “A slow sort of country! Now, w, here you
w here,

O
see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep eep in the same

TI
place. If you want to get somewhere else, e,, you mu
m
must run at

U
least twice as fast as that!”

IB
Our collective focus on the ladder der of succ
success is what gave
rise to the proverbial rat race off modern life: if only we can
TR
climb one more step—if only we can get ge that promotion, give
IS

that big presentation, grow w our online

onl
on audience, hire a team,
buy that house—then we will finally fi feel at peace.
D

Our goals are often n ot even our own; we borrow them

not
R

brities, an
from peers, celebrities, and what we imagine society expects
FO

nch philosopher
from us. French philos
philo René Girard called this phenom-
me
meti
enon mimetic de
desi
desire: we desire something because we see
desirin it. In other words, our goals mimic the goals
others desiring
T

ther
of others.
O

And o of course it is impossible not to assess our game pro-

N

i
gression relative to other players—except that the leader-
board is rigged, and everyone is showing only a distorted
version of their lives, snapshots of manufactured happiness
where all the struggle and the doubt have been edited out.
Fear of failure causes us to endlessly stop and start, re-
sulting in an uneven path where we keep going back to our
comfort zone before trying to progress again. Toxic produc-

32
 WHY GOAL SETTING IS BROKEN

tivity leads to burnout, creating ups and downs. Working in

isolation means we lack the support networks to help smooth
the way.
Following that wild, twisted path with its intense highs
and lows has repercussions. We may progress, but we feel like
we’re constantly failing. And so instead of inspiring audacious
next steps, our goals spark anxiety (What if I don’t succeed?),
apathy (Why care when the journey ahead is all mapped ed out
ped
already?), and anger (Why am I forced to play this game?).
game?)

N
But this breakdown of old ways isn’t a crisis.is. It’s a rare
sis.

O
chance to improve the way we explore our ambitions.
mbitions.

TI
U
BETWEEN STIMULUS AND RE
RESPONSE
IB
TR
Imagine, for a moment, that at you ar
are traveling alone on a
IS

long-leg airline flight withth

h no onboard
onb Wi-Fi. There you are
ded in the
at 30,000 feet, suspended th sky, transitioning from one
D

place to another, neither her

he
here nor there. The places and peo-
R

ple who normally lly define

defin and control your daily life are miles
FO

away. You don’t kno know exactly what will happen after you
land, butt there’s
there’s no way to rush to your destination to find out.
th
How do youyyo react to this environment?
T
O

Resp
Response 1: Discomfort, fear, helplessness. The fact is,
N

you’re hurtling along at 30,000 feet in a tin can with

someone else at the helm. You knock back alcohol to
dull your fear or try to sleep away your anxiety. You
check out to the greatest degree possible and pray to a
higher power that the pilot manages to land the plane.

Or . . .

33
TINY EXPERIMENTS

Response 2: Delight, calm, curiosity. Removed from

your everyday, you find yourself relaxing—yes, even in
that uncomfortable seat. In this strange space, you feel
an invigorating sense of possibility. You might crack a
book you’ve been curious about but had no time for.
Watch a movie that friends would be surprised to see
you enjoy. Strike up a conversation with a stranger.
Maybe you write in your journal, reflecting on what’shat
at s
passed and mulling over what’s to come. Freed d from

N
your usual duties, released from the constraints
ts of your
nts you

O
day-to-day identity, you find the mental space to do

TI
something a little bit different.

U
IB
The flight I have just described liminal space—an
d is a lim
in-between territory where the old d rules governing
ld go our choices
TR
no longer apply. Life is full off these m moments, and the degree
mo
IS

to which we learn to reap their les lessons is the degree to which

less
we grow and improve our ur lives.
D

But our brain iss uncomfortable

unco
un mf in the in-betweens. We
R

are wired to quickly

ickly label situations as good or bad, an evo-
ckly labe
lab
FO

lutionary mechanism
chanism designed to protect us from unknown
echanism
risks. Safee or
o not Friend or foe? Secret passage or dead end?
not? F
However,
ver, this instinct can become problematic when a clear
T

answer
wer isn’t
swer isn’ readily available.
O

Our n neural activity intensifies in such situations, indicat-

N

ing a state of heightened arousal. Just like a sentry on high

alert, the brain prepares for potential threats. Uncertainty
becomes fuel for anxiety. In fact, uncertainty has been found
to cause more stress than inevitable pain. When we don’t
know what’s coming, we overthink every possibility and we
conjure worst-case scenarios. Although we would like to re-
linquish control and soar through the skies, we often find

34
 WHY GOAL SETTING IS BROKEN

ourselves suffering from Response 1: uneasiness, or even

white-knuckled terror.
At that point, we tend to fall back on one of three defense
mechanisms, where we abandon our curiosity, our ambition,
or both:

• Cynicism: Doomscrolling, passing up

opportunities, poking fun at earnest people. Like
kee
the Beast before he meets Belle, we see

N
transformation as a source of meaninglesss work,

O
and we abandon any desire to build a good life.
life

TI
Why suffer when we can just survive?
ve
ve?

U
IB
• Escapism: Retail therapy, binge
nge watching,
watch dream
planning. Like Peter Pan,, we confi
confine ourselves to
TR
an island where we can n break free
f from the burden
IS

of our responsibilities,
ties, an idealized
id place to get
away from the uncertainty
ncertain of our lives.
D
R

• Perfectionism:
nism: Self
SSelf-coercion, information hoarding,
FO

toxic productiv
productivity. We treat ourselves the way the
stepmother
othe treats Cinderella—“from morning until
epmother
evening, she had to perform difficult work, rising
evenin
evening
T

earl carrying water, making the fire, cooking and

early,
O

washing”—with no rest or time for ourselves.

w
N

These are not personality types. Rather, they’re shields

we raise in the face of uncertainty. We can shift between
them depending on our circumstances.
And those defense mechanisms are perfectly normal.
They’re part of a cognitive process psychologists call compen-
satory control. When confronted with a stressful experience,

35
TINY EXPERIMENTS

our first instinct is to remove the stressor. And when we can-

not eliminate the source of stress, we urgently seek activities
that restore our sense of control—anything to compensate
for our helplessness.
Not only are these shields we raise for protection ineffec-
tive in our modern world, but they also block our opportuni-
ties for growth, self-discovery, and what makes life exciting.
Psychologists often say that our freedom lies within n the
in
gap between stimulus and response. We can deal with th the

N
heavy load of uncertainty like the frightened flier,er, closing
r, by clos

O
our eyes and waiting for an unnamed pilot to land plane—
and the pl

TI
or we could make a brave go at exploring possibilities of
g the poss
possi

U
this in-between space.

IB
As Amelia Earhart once said: “TheThe most difficult thing is
the decision to act.” Though wee may not have all the infor-
TR
mation at hand, we can choose se movement
ose movem
move instead of stagna-
IS

tion, exploration instead of paralysis.

paraly And when we do, the
sky is just the beginning.g. This is the promise of an experi-
D

mental mindset.
R
O
O
N

36
 WHY GOAL SETTING IS BROKEN

THREE MENTAL SHIFTS

How can you go from rigid linearity to fluid experimentation?
Throughout this book, you will build a toolkit to support
three profound shifts in how you navigate the world:

From Response 1 to Response 2. Response 1 is auto-

matic and rooted in the anxiety of uncertainty. Re- Re
sponse 2 is autonomous and based on a strong ng sense

N
of agency. We all oscillate between the two response
responses,

O
but the more we flex our curiosity muscles, cles, the mmore

TI
uncertainty transforms from something ing to escape
hing es
e to

U
somewhere to explore. Switching from Res Response 1 to

IB
Response 2 is switching from defensive
efensive to proactive. In-
stead of being passive passengers along for the ride, we
ngers alon
TR
can explore possibilities within the
t uncertainty. Not
IS

knowing the destination

ion sparks our imagination. Freed
on spark
from the need to control
ontrol the
th outcome, we can experi-
D

ment and play.

R
FO

From fixed ed ladders

ladder to growth loops. Relying on a men-
tal mode
model
od of ttraditional goal setting means the focus
is on linear
linea progression toward a predefined outcome.
line
T

Each rurung represents a measurable achievement, a pre-

run
O

dictable
dict
dicta step along a planned trajectory, which leaves
N

little
li
lit room for surprise or serendipity. When we shift
to a “loop” mental model, the journey follows itera-
tive cycles of experimentation, with each loop build-
ing on the last. Our task becomes to widen each
loop by nurturing our creativity and leaning into prom-
ising tangents instead of dismissing them as distrac-
tions.

37
TINY EXPERIMENTS

From outcome to process. When we are operating with

an outcome-based definition of success, progress means
ticking off big, hairy, audacious goals. When we shift
to a process-based definition, progress is driven by in-
cremental experimentation. Success transforms from a
fixed target to an unfolding path. Without a fixed defi-
nition of success, we welcome change as a source of
reinvention. Our direction emerges organically as we
systematically examine what captures our attention
tion in-
in-

N
stead of fixating on an artificial scorecard.

O
TI
Linear goals promise certainty—if wee just stick sti
st to the

U
plan and climb, we will arrive safely att the expected
expe destina-

IB
tion. But life rarely follows such rigid
igid and predictable pat-
terns. Experiments are built for the in-b
in bet
e
in-betweens; they propel
TR
you forward even without a fixed de d
destination, in constant
IS

conversation with your innernner self and the outer world. By

ave the sshore, we trade the illusion of
having the courage to leave
D

sibility of discovery. Rather than resisting

control for the possibility
R

uncertainty, we befriend
befrien it. The first step is to rekindle your
FO

magine n
curiosity to imagine new possibilities.
T
O
N

38